大象传媒

Potty training is something that all parents go through as their children grow, develop and prepare for life without nappies.

It can be difficult however, and lots of our followers on Instagram had burning questions about where to start, what to do and how to help their child in the process.

We've gathered together some of the most frequently asked questions and put them to who have provided some tips and suggestions.

A little boy looking down as he's sat on a potty.

Starting potty training

When should I start potty training my child?

It鈥檚 important to remember all children are different and the age at which they are capable of mastering potty skills is unique to them. However, most potty training skills can be learned before you stop using nappies, which can be one of the last steps in the process.

Thinking about it this way means that you don鈥檛 need to wait until your child is 鈥榬eady鈥 and able to do everything on their own before they can start learning toileting skills. You also don鈥檛 need to wait until they tell you they no longer want to wear nappies (you could be waiting quite some time!).

Helping your child learn as they go along, according to what they are capable of at each stage of development, gives them a gentle learning process towards stopping using nappies. It can help to think of it being a skill like learning to walk or talk 鈥 the more practice and help your child gets the easier it will be.

Here are some tips to help you start:

  • Research shows it is better for your child鈥檚 bladder and bowel health to potty train earlier, with the best time to stop using nappies being between 18-30 months. Most children will be able to take the lead in many parts of the potty training process from around 18 months old and will be doing most things by themselves when they start school
  • By starting the learning process before 18 months, it means that when you decide to stop using nappies or pull-ups, your child will already have some skills they need to make the move to pants and potty easier for them and less stressful for you both.
  • You can introduce the potty as soon as children can safely sit up on their own. Good times to try sitting on the potty include shortly after they wake up, after mealtimes, and any time it looks like your child needs to wee or poo. You can use nappies most of the time but then take them off to use a potty when the child is likely to go
  • As your child grows, you can help them to learn words or signs for the potty, how to push their pants down and pull them up again, using toilet paper, handwashing and hand drying
  • There may be times when it is more difficult for you to help your child use a potty, for example if they are unwell or if they refuse to cooperate. At these times, it鈥檚 important not to put pressure on yourself or your child and only do what feels manageable for you both

ERIC suggest a beginning with preparation to use the potty, moving on to practising using a potty, before eventually stopping using nappies as they gain confidence.

How do I start potty training my child?

Stopping wearing nappies and learning how to use the potty independently is a big milestone for your child. There are lots of new skills for them to learn with your help.

Spending time preparing your child in advance of taking their nappy away is the best way to help them move on to the next step.Just like when they learn to talk, walk and feed themselves, the best way to help your child get the hang of potty training is to give them lots of practice, support and encouragement. You are the best teacher they can learn from!

Here are some tips to help get your child ready for potty training:

  • Try to change nappies or pull-ups as soon as they are wet or soiled. This teaches your child that it is normal to be clean and dry
  • Once your child can stand, do nappy or pull-up changes standing up and involve them in cleaning up and flushing poo down the toilet. This will teach your child where wee and poo goes
  • Leave your child鈥檚 nappy or pull-up off for up to 30 minutes after your child has had a wee or poo. This will help them get used to not wearing it without having an accident
  • Having regular, short periods without wearing a nappy or pull-up can help prepare your child for how it will feel when they stop using them completely
  • If you use disposable nappies or pull-ups, you can add a washable, reusable cloth flannel into it so that it feels wet when your child wees. This is because disposables instantly wick away the moisture, making it harder for your child to feel when they have done a wee. Make sure to remove the cloth as soon as it gets wet to avoid nappy rash

What do I need to start potty training?

Here鈥檚 the equipment ERIC suggest you have ready for potty training:

  • A potty (more than one ideally). Choose one that is low to the ground so your child can use it independently. You don鈥檛 need to spend a lot of money on anything fancy鈥 it has to do one job well: catch wee and poo!
  • Some children may prefer to go straight to using the toilet, in which case it is best if they use a children鈥檚 toilet seat and a step stool. This will help them to feel secure and relaxed. Having feet firmly on the floor or a stool is the ideal position for fully emptying the bladder and bowel
  • A travel potty can be really helpful for when you and your child go out
  • Reusable cloth potty training pants can be handy if you are travelling or when your child is at nursery. These are like underwear but with an absorbent layer to help soak up accidents which can be washed and used again

Problems on the potty

My child refuses to sit on the potty - what can I do?

When children get upset and resist potty training it鈥檚 usually because they want more control in the process. It can also happen if we prompt them too often. They can get fed up and switch off when they hear: 鈥淒o you need a wee?鈥 all the time.

The good news is that resistance isn鈥檛 a sign that they aren鈥檛 ready to learn potty skills.

Here are some tips to cope with this stage:

  • Try to give your child the opportunity to do things for themselves as much as possible
  • Avoid asking if they need a wee or poo. Take time to learn your child鈥檚 habits, signals and timings and base your toilet trips on these
  • Have some toys or books next to the potty to help them sit and hold their interest
  • Encourage and praise their efforts, not just end results

My child will sit on the potty but won't do anything - what can I do?

Using play can help teach your child what you expect as well as motivate them. You can use stories, characters and toys to explain to your child what they need to do and teach them how to do it.

You could try:

  • Having a favourite doll or toy pretend to use the potty
  • Showing them how you use the toilet too
  • Using books and pictures to show how things work
  • Adding stickers to their potty to make it their own
  • Having some toys or books that they only look at when they鈥檙e on the potty or toilet
  • Giving your child plenty of encouragement and praising all their efforts. When your child does use the potty or manages to stay dry for any period of time, telling them how pleased you are
  • Trying to give your child the opportunity to do things for themselves as far as possible
  • Avoiding asking if they need a wee or poo. Instead taking time to learn your child鈥檚 habits, signals and timings

My child won鈥檛 poo on the potty - why won鈥檛 they and what can I do?

It鈥檚 really common for children to get scared and start holding on to their poo when they begin potty training.

is usually caused by fear and anxiety around the process. Sometimes this is caused by the sudden change from nappies to no nappies. Many children benefit from smaller steps in the process. This might mean, for example, starting by helping them learn that wee and poo go in the bathroom and allowing them to use a nappy when they do a wee and poo, then gradually reducing dependence on the nappy over a few weeks.

If your child gets very upset without a nappy or pull-up on, or starts to avoid doing a wee or poo, it could also be a sign that your child is Often, children who are constipated hold off from doing a poo to avoid pain caused by passing a hard or large poo.

Withholding poo can quickly lead children to get constipated. For some, constipation is the reason they hold on to poo in the first place and it can become a vicious circle. The more nervous they are around pooing in the potty or toilet, the harder it is for them to relax and the more constipated they become.

If you think your child could be constipated, it鈥檚 really important to book an appointment with your GP who can prescribe laxatives to help soften their poo if needed. It鈥檚 really important to make sure any underlying constipation is treated before you stop using nappies or pull-ups.

Here are some tips for a child who has toileting anxiety or constipation:

  • Help your child to poo and wee regularly in a place they feel comfortable. This may mean allowing them to return to using nappies.
  • You don鈥檛 have to stop potty training altogether as you can still help them learn where wee and poo goes as well as skills such as good communication and hygiene
  • Once they are pooing comfortably again, it will be easier to gradually move them away from their nappy
  • Make sure they are drinking plenty to keep their poo soft and encourage their bladder to fill
  • Consider having a basket of toys of other soothing items the child can look at while weeing or pooing to help relax them and build positive associations
  • Praise them for all the effort they are putting in, not just the end result. That could even be telling you they鈥檝e done a poo in their nappy

How can I tell if my child is constipated?

If your child gets very upset without a nappy or pull-up on, or starts to it could be a sign that your child is

It鈥檚 really important to make sure any underlying constipation is treated first before you stop using nappies or pull-ups. This will make the potty training process much easier for them.

It may come as a surprise that constipation is a common cause of many potty training problems. It鈥檚 an issue that affects 1 in 3 children as they grow up, particularly toddlers around the potty training stage.

The signs of constipation can be easy to miss particularly in younger children. They include pooing fewer than four times a week, passing hard, large poos or frequently passing lots of soft and/or runny poo. Behaviours such as refusing to sit on the potty or toilet, holding on to poo and having wee and poo accidents are also signs of constipation.

Constipation needs to be treated as a priority before resuming potty training as it鈥檚 not something that will go away on its own. If you think your child may be constipated, then you should speak to your GP.

Accidents

How do I stop my child wetting the bed?

There isn鈥檛 a fixed rule about when to stop using nappies at night as every child is different. If your child can stay dry during a nap, or for 2 or more hours during the day, they may be capable of staying dry overnight. Helping your child master daytime potty training will have taught them many of the skills they need to stay dry at night.

Being dry at night is not dependent on age or hormones, it is more about practice and developing good habits.

Here are some tips to help with night time dryness:

  • Make sure your child is drinking enough in the day and try to avoid large amounts of fluids at bedtime. You could try avoiding drinks an hour before bedtime
  • Help them get into a routine of using the potty or toilet before they go to sleep. Protect the bed with a waterproof sheet and try putting them to bed without a nappy to see how they manage
  • Expect some accidents and understand that these are a very important part of the learning process
  • Some children may need to use a potty at night, so make sure you have a potty in their room if possible and a gentle light by the bed
  • If your child wakes up at night, help them to use the potty or toilet

If your child is not dry at night by the age of 5, ask your GP or health visitor for guidance.

ERIC have more information about

My child used the potty well, but now has accidents - should I worry?

Some children take to using a potty quickly, others take more time. This is a new skill for your child and having accidents is all part of the learning process.

It鈥檚 not uncommon for children to regress even after being clean and dry for a while, particularly if their routine changes and they start nursery, for example. These sorts of issues usually settle down as your child gets used to using the potty or toilet.

If problems don't stop however, it is important to make sure your child does not have an underlying problem or an emotional or developmental reason for struggling.

If you are getting stuck, or are concerned about your child, talk to your health visitor or GP for guidance on the best way to help them overcome the problem.

Here are some of the more common challenges that parents potty training may face:

  • Refusing to use the potty
  • Not sitting for long enough
  • Not seeming to notice or care that they have had an accident
  • Potty anxiety or fear
  • Avoiding doing a poo
  • Appearing to forget potty skills (regression)
  • Returning to wetting/soiling themselves
  • Still using nappies by the time they start school

It may come as a surprise that constipation is a common cause of many of the problems listed - so it鈥檚 worth speaking to your GP if you think your child may be constipated.

Speech delay and additional needs

How do you potty train children with speech delays?

Almost all children can learn to be clean and dry. Children with an additional need or a disability may take a little longer and need more support, but the process is essentially the same.

It may feel daunting but it's important not to put off potty training for too long. The longer a child wears a nappy, the harder it may be to introduce a new place for them to wee and poo. It can help to break it down into stages and tailor your approach on their abilities.

Many children with autism find a sudden change in routine or habit difficult. Therefore, the more you can do before you stop using nappies the better, as this will make this transition as gentle as possible for them.

Here are some things to consider:

  • Non-verbal and neurodivergent children can鈥檛 always communicate their thoughts and feelings. This means you can鈥檛 rely on their signals to tell you when they鈥檙e ready to potty train. You may need to take more responsibility for knowing how often your child goes for a wee or poo and use this to help direct them. ERIC鈥檚 bladder and bowel assessment chart may help with this.

  • Your child may take longer to learn, so consider your expectations and don鈥檛 rush the learning. You may find it helpful to focus on one stage at a time, e.g teaching them that poo goes down the toilet by flushing it away together. The more consistent you are with your words and actions, the easier it will be for your child to learn

  • It鈥檚 important that your child feels relaxed, comfortable and secure about using the toilet or potty. Make sure the space is accessible to your child

  • If you start potty training on the toilet, use a footstool to help your child feel confident and safe. This will also help your child get into the best position for doing wees and poos, with their feet supported and knees above their hips

  • Help your child learn the physical skills needed by breaking them down into smaller steps and allowing your child to do the last step independently. For example, help them push their trousers down most of the way, then have them push the last bit down themselves

  • Encourage independence as soon as you see it developing, phasing out support once your child shows understanding

  • Use stories, visual charts, props and games to teach your child what to do and how to do it. Make your own learning aid by taking photos of your bathroom, drawing pictures of the steps and creating visual routine reminders. A standard routine could be:

    1. Undress
    2. Underwear down
    3. Sit
    4. Do wee/poo
    5. Wipe
    6. Pull up underwear
    7. Pull up trousers/dress
    8. Flush toilet
    9. Wash hands
  • Give your child plenty of positive encouragement and praise for the efforts they are making, not just the end result. This can help to keep them motivated and willing to move to the next step