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There鈥檚 no denying that night feeds take a massive toll on your body and mind in the early weeks and months of parenthood.

Heaving yourself out of bed in the darkness to feed your newborn really pushes your parental positivity to its limits.

They鈥檙e tough, full stop. But it鈥檚 totally normal for young babies to wake a few times a night and thankfully, there are lots of tiny ways you can make night feeds more bearable.

Here are some hints and tips that鈥檒l help you handle the disruption, create a calm environment and grab as much sleep as you can.

A woman breastfeeding by a nightlight.
Image caption,
Night feeds are tough, but there are lots of little ways to make them more bearable.

Get ready

First off, recharge your body for night feeds with daytime naps, says Louise Wilkinson of Precious Beginnings, a baby massage instructor, children鈥檚 nurse and sleep practitioner. 鈥淓veryone says it because it鈥檚 true. Sleeping during the day is a massive win. Sleep when your baby sleeps rather than trying to get stuff done.鈥

And prepare what you physically need for night feeds, so you鈥檙e not fumbling around in the dark and you can keep them as low-key as possible. That might mean getting a comfortable chair positioned and your nappy changing area ready. 鈥淎nd small comforts like a drink for yourself and biscuits to snack on,鈥 says Louise.

Have a calming bedtime routine

Start winding down in the evening. 鈥淭his can help your baby to understand that night-time is for sleeping,鈥 explains Louise. 鈥淜eep lights and your voices low. Your TV and other devices like your phone keep you connected with the outside world but research shows that the lights from screens can disrupt the production of melatonin, the body鈥檚 sleep hormone. So, it鈥檚 all about finding the right balance of use.

Check out our tips for creating a calm bedtime routine.

Baby massage can really help, adds Louise. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a great way to build your bond and is great for calming your baby, especially if they鈥檙e a little bit active.鈥

Keep your baby close

When baby nods off, continue with subtle lighting, soft voices and keep them close.

鈥淪ounds so obvious but keeping them near is really beneficial because it means you鈥檒l sense when they do wake and identify their hunger cues. They鈥檒l also feel comforted, so it can also help them from waking too much,鈥 explains Louise. 鈥淎nother practical benefit is that you don鈥檛 have to go as far to feed them, so everything鈥檚 easier and calmer.鈥

The Lullaby Trust, which raises awareness of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and provides expert advice on sleep for babies, says the safest place for your baby to sleep for their first 6 months is in a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you. Check out their

Share night feeds

鈥淭here鈥檚 lots your partner or whoever you鈥檙e living with can do to support you, and by helping you they鈥檙e a great emotional support too,鈥 says Louise. 鈥淒on鈥檛 be afraid to ask for their help, it could be as simple as fetching you drinks and snacks or burping baby, but it will make a world of difference.鈥

A dad kissing his baby's head.
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A little help can go a long way, so don't be afraid to ask.

Hide the clock

鈥淎void clock watching, it鈥檚 so self-defeating but we鈥檝e all done it. Because when you鈥檙e staring at the time and waiting for baby to wake, you鈥檙e not going to fall asleep,鈥 says Louise.

Feel a sense of solidarity

When we asked our brilliant THP online community for their advice, their overriding message was solidarity. Sarah said her comfort is 鈥渓ooking at the moon and knowing so many other mums are doing the same鈥, while Robyn always reaches out to her mum community when she鈥檚 up. 鈥淟ate night texts with friends are a great support: it鈥檚 nice to know someone else is awake.鈥

Hear, hear says Louise. 鈥淣ight feeds can feel incredibly lonely and it can feel like you鈥檙e the only one up, while the world around you sleeps. So there鈥檚 a lot to be said for simply connecting with others, realising that there are many people in exactly the same position as you at 2am,鈥 adds Louise.

A woman looking at her phone at night.
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Sometimes it's good to reach out to other mums who have been there too.

Find a relaxing way to pass the time

By keeping feeds tranquil, you鈥檒l help your baby learn that night-time isn鈥檛 play time and ease them back into sleep. And while they鈥檙e feeding, you could pass the time and nourish your mind in a low-key way. 鈥淔or example, audio books and podcasts are great and mean that you don鈥檛 have to turn any screens on,鈥 suggests Louise.

Remember this won't be forever

You鈥檙e knackered and pushed to your limits but try to enjoy the time with your baby, says Louise. 鈥淭here will come a time that you鈥檒l look back on night feeds. It doesn鈥檛 feel like it when you鈥檙e in the thick of it, but it does go really quickly. Try to embrace it. I know it鈥檚 hard, but remember you鈥檙e not going to get another time like this unless you have more children!鈥

... and remember that every baby is different

We put all sorts of pressures on ourselves as parents, and one of those comes from comparing ourselves and our babies. 鈥淲hile it鈥檚 comforting to talk to other parents, try avoid comparing 鈥 it鈥檒l add unnecessary pressure to your experience of parenting,鈥 adds Louise. 鈥淓very baby is completely different and every baby learns to sleep through the night at completely different times.鈥

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