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TV personality and fitness coach Holly Hagan-Blyth has a lot to say about being a first-time parent and wants to share her candid experiences to reassure other parents.

When Tiny Happy People asks the Geordie Shore star to sum up parenting her son Alpha-Jax, her answer is simple: 鈥榳hirlwind鈥.

鈥淚 feel like there鈥檚 so many things that you don鈥檛 expect to happen,鈥 explains Holly.

In contrast to her confident onscreen persona, she鈥檚 had many moments of doubt and insecurity as a first-time mum.

鈥淭he biggest misconception about being a new mum is that you鈥檙e going to have glorious days in coffee shops and soft play centres, and that postpartum is just this beautiful, chilled-out time. Honestly, it couldn鈥檛 be further from the truth in my case.鈥

鈥淚t is a complete world-change, and needs to be spoken about more, people do need to be informed.鈥

We spoke to Holly about weathering these life-changing experiences, building her confidence as a parent, and how having a baby has changed 鈥 and strengthened 鈥 her relationship with her husband, professional footballer Jacob Blyth.

Holly Hagan-Blyth cradling her son Alpha-Jax in bed.Image source, Holly Hagan-Blyth Instagram

Managing new parent anxiety

Holly isn鈥檛 afraid to share her struggles and confides that she initially felt overwhelmed by the responsibilities of being a new mum.

鈥淚 suffered quite badly with postpartum anxiety, and I worried about absolutely everything.鈥

鈥淚 know this sounds morbid, but I just kept thinking that at any point Alpha-Jax could potentially die. We didn鈥檛 even have visitors for weeks because I worried that he might catch something.鈥

Holly looks back on this stressful start to parenthood wishing she鈥檇 been more relaxed. But she鈥檚 trying to practise self-kindness and celebrate her wins.

鈥淚 wish I hadn鈥檛 worried as much and that I鈥檇 trusted my gut in situations, but I think it鈥檚 a common to be worried about all these things. He survived all the visitors, and he even goes to nursery now.

鈥淚鈥檓 proud of keeping him alive and that he鈥檚 a happy, confident little boy. There have been so many joyful moments and honestly, Alpha-Jax has just got such an incredible energy. He brightens up our days, even on his whingiest days.鈥

Learning to go with the flow

Holly and Alpha-Jax sit on a chair in the hallway of their home.Image source, Holly Hagan-Blyth Instagram

One of the big parenting lessons Holly has learned is that everything happens in phases.

鈥淗aving a child is full of challenges. Once you get over one hurdle, you will be faced with another.

鈥淲hen it鈥檚 your first baby and you鈥檙e in the midst of it, when you鈥檙e having a bad night鈥檚 sleep and when the baby just won鈥檛 settle, you just can鈥檛 see things improving.鈥

鈥淧eople around you say, 鈥楧on鈥檛 worry it鈥檒l pass!鈥 but it doesn鈥檛 feel like that. But it鈥檚 true. Just knowing that everything is a stage, that it will pass is reassuring. It won鈥檛 always be this full-on.鈥

鈥淥ne of the most challenging times for us was Alpha-Jax鈥檚 whingeing. First, we thought it was his teeth. Then we thought that it was because he wanted to crawl and he couldn鈥檛, but now he crawls and he still whinges. Then we thought it was because he wanted to walk, and then he walked. So, now we鈥檙e thinking it鈥檚 because he wants to talk.

鈥淜nowing what鈥檚 wrong with your baby is a big problem!鈥

Holly鈥檚 learned to take things in her stride and accept that every day is not going to be perfect.

鈥淪ometimes, if you have one bad night you can have dramatic thoughts like, 鈥楾hat鈥檚 it now, his sleep is going to be completely ruined forever鈥. But actually, babies are very adaptable.

鈥淓very day is a new day. It鈥檚 something fresh and there are new opportunities 鈥 just take it as it comes.鈥

She wants new mums to know that life isn鈥檛 perfect for anyone 鈥 despite what you see on social media.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e not gonna be glammed up with a filter on like the Instagram influencers are.

鈥淎ccept that what you see is a tiny, tiny snippet of someone鈥檚 day. I can guarantee that they had a meltdown in the soft play, the mum started crying, the coffee was knocked over and that is the reality of the day.鈥
Holly and Alpha-Jax sit on a chair in the hallway of their home.Image source, Holly Hagan-Blyth Instagram

Forming a solid parenting team

Jacob, Holly and Alpha-Jax Hagan-Blyth in the gym together. Jacob is cradling Alpha-Jax.Image source, Holly Hagan-Blyth Instagram
Image caption,
Fitness is a family affair!

Holly and Jacob have found a parenting style that suits them. A tag-team approach helped them weather their first few weeks as parents.

鈥淚 think the main way that protected my mental health during the early postpartum days was me and Jacob having opposite shifts.鈥

鈥淚 have some friends that decided to do absolutely everything together and I think for me and Jacob that wouldn鈥檛 have been possible 鈥 so when I needed rest, he would look after Alpha-Jax, and then we鈥檇 swap.鈥

Good communication is key to navigating the trickiest of challenges and emotions, including parent guilt.

鈥淚t鈥檚 easy to feel guilty when you go back to work. It鈥檚 important that the time we spend with Alpha-Jax is quality. If we can be off our phones and engaging with him 100% that鈥檚 more important than the amount of time we鈥檙e spending with him.鈥

The couple take care of their own wellbeing to help them handle everyday stresses, adds Holly.

鈥淲hen you鈥檙e a new mum you shouldn鈥檛 rush back into exercise if you don鈥檛 feel ready. Your body changes but you have to remember what it鈥檚 done and just appreciate it.

鈥淩emember it doesn鈥檛 have to be gruelling workouts in the gym 鈥 let鈥檚 be honest, nobody has time for that.

鈥淕o for long walks, do the things that you like to do. Doing 20 minutes a day of something light will always make you feel better and it鈥檚 more for your mental health than anything.鈥

It鈥檚 busy in the Hagan-Blyth household, so Holly鈥檚 all about working out hacks to save time and make day-to-day life easier.

鈥淥ne of my favourite hacks is to always have Alpha-Jax鈥檚 bag packed.

鈥淚n the bag, I鈥檒l have a couple of spare changes of outfit, nappies, wipes, creams and snacks. So, every time you leave the house, you鈥檝e already got the bag prepared, and it takes you far less time than if you had to get everything ready on the day.鈥

Jacob, Holly and Alpha-Jax Hagan-Blyth in the gym together. Jacob is cradling Alpha-Jax.Image source, Holly Hagan-Blyth Instagram
Image caption,
Fitness is a family affair!

Feeling more closely bonded as a couple

Jacob fusses Alpha-Jax.Image source, Jacob Blyth Instagram
Image caption,
Jacob and Alpha-Jax

Having a baby reveals so much you didn鈥檛 know about your partner, explains Holly.

鈥淯ntil you become parents, it鈥檚 hard to imagine. But no matter how long you鈥檝e been with somebody, you see every single part of their personality and who they are. Parts come out that you just didn鈥檛 see before.

鈥淚 think it was just a real true lesson of how important it was for me to have picked the right partner.鈥

鈥淵ou might be more frustrated, you might be more irritable, you might be more upset. But you discover amazing new elements of each other. I love seeing the amazing bond between Jacob and Alpha-Jax.鈥

Holly says that while Alpha-Jax is their priority, they work hard to nourish their relationship too.

鈥淚t鈥檚 easy to forget you鈥檝e got a partner, because all your love, energy and time is going into your child.

鈥淔or me and Jacob, it鈥檚 important to plan date nights in. It鈥檚 just taking a night for ourselves, every now and again, because it鈥檚 so important to remember who you are without your child.鈥

Together they鈥檙e in awe of the energetic little person they have brought into the world 鈥 and endlessly fascinated by Alpha-Jax鈥檚 development.

鈥淗e鈥檚 always wanted to do things that he shouldn鈥檛 be doing and be ahead of his little body.鈥

鈥淚f there have been any nice surprises, it鈥檚 definitely his personality. I didn鈥檛 realise that a child of like nine months could have a personality!

鈥淚鈥檓 looking forward to watching Alpha-Jax grow up and being part of his journey and education in life, just teaching him to be a good person.鈥

Jacob fusses Alpha-Jax.Image source, Jacob Blyth Instagram
Image caption,
Jacob and Alpha-Jax

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