My Place in History
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"I began to feel the need to find out more and where I belong in my family."
Transcript
"For 53 years I was an only child with no relatives at all. Whenever I'd asked mum about this I was always told I just didn't have any.
Then, just before Mum died in 1983 she told me she'd left a family behind in Norfolk, something I knew nothing about. She wasn't able to talk about it 'fear, shame, guilt i dont know', but shock and fear of the unknown prevented me from asking any questions. However, I began to feel the need to find out more and where I belong in my family.
My husband Dave began my search, sending for my parents' birth certificates. so it was only when I saw the names of my grandparents that they became real people to me.
Dave posted Mum's maiden name on the History Web site. A three months wait resulted in contact with a cousin who recalled a scandal in the village.
it turned out that in 1944 my mum left a husband and three children to live with the man who became my father. I was devestated. I couldn't relate my mother to the woman who had done this. It also made me wonder what it might have been like to grow up within a family.
Then In the space of three days I had four life changing phone calls. Aunt Joan, sisters Heather and Doris and brother Brian all spoke to me for the first time. I was on an emotional roller coaster - tears flowed, my head wanted to explode! I had a family!
I eagerly awaited letters and photos to see any family resemblance. I wasn't disappointed. Our first meetings were charged with emotion from both present and past. Over time I met other family members and my mothers sisters who told me about my mothers life before i knew her.
This journey hasn't been easy, I can't help feeling some responsibility for my mother's actions, even though I know I had no control over what happened. One of my greatest fears was that this new family wouldn't want to know me, but all of them have accepted me without question.
My family history and where I fit in is now complete. I am not an only child.! I now belong to a wonderful family!
An interview with the author
Please tell us a little about yourself.
I'm 58 years old and have been married for 40 years to Dave. We live in Kempston, Bedfordshire and we have a son, David, who is 25 years old. I enjoy badminton, reading and travel.
What's your story about?
Family history. It's about being an only child and discovering I had sisters and a brother at 53. This story is about what this means to me. My husband saw an article in a family history magazine about the ´óÏó´«Ã½ looking for stories and he put my name forward without telling me!
What did you find the most rewarding aspect about the workshop?
The whole week has been a life experience! I have met the most lovely people within the storytellers and the team. I have been totally amazed at the technology and what I have learned myself. I feel privileged to have taken part!
How has this workshop affected the way you look upon your family history?
My story turned out quite differently from what I had expected, examining much more about my feelings, getting them out of my head and onto film has been great therapy."
