大象传媒

A Musician by Ambition

"It begins in Malaysia in the 70s - a childhood dream built upon the spinning of my brother's vinyl. My rock stars are Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd.

So I come to the UK to the dreamland. I don't come alone. I bring with me a mission, a mission to be like you - a rock star. Sorry I couldn't be with you in your glory day, I know I'm late, but I'm here now, in your arena 20 years later.

I can smell what you smell. I'll go through what some of you have gone through - pain and sorrow and uncertainty. Up and down in a roller coaster but it's a mission that I have to do. Going by the book of sending demos, followed by rejection letters, gigging week after week, these seem to be the rules of the game.

But sometimes life don't follow how you think it's going to be. Life can get in the way of a dream.

I spent four years in college and tried to fit the music in between. I had to pay the bills. I couldn't put all that I wanted into the music and I couldn't help but feel that something was missing.

But, after graduation it became easier and music was my priority once more, I met other musicians, made more demos, and played more gigs. But I still wasn't the rock star of my dreams and I felt sorry for myself as time keep passing by. But maybe now I've grown out of the dream.

Looking back, I realise that what makes me happy is music and the process of trying to make it - the people, the friends, the nights out, the recording sessions, the rehearsal, the adrenaline before a gig and people appreciating what I do.

I've started to let the dream go and just enjoy music wherever I am, so perhaps it's time to go home."

Please tell us about yourself.
I'm a rock-star wannabe from Malaysia, now settled in Wales. A gardener by profession, a musician by ambition.

What's your story about?
It's about my history in music, how I got involved in music in the UK, the experience of trying to fulfill a childhood dream to be a rock-star and where it may lead me to. I'm learning a lot about myself along the way.

Why did you choose to tell this particular story?
It's a real life story. I wanted people to see my passion for music and how it has shaped me and become a part pf my life. It's what I enjoy the most.

What did you find the most rewarding about the workshop?
Being able to put to use a lot of my old video footages, pictures, letters and memorobilia to good use. Most importantly, learning how to tell a story and using a computer for editing. Last and not least - making new friends.