Chemical Cocktail
A juvenile Striped Dolphin was washed ashore in Carmarthen Bay a few weeks ago, struggling to breathe and severely undernourished. In its dying breath it was heard to gasp "What the hell are you lot trying to do?"
A week or so prior to the dolphin's death, an accident involving extreme stupidity and cheap import Russian vodka led to the release of 40,000 Gallons of fuel oil into Fishguard Harbour. Official sources said that no environmental damage was caused. Unofficial sources sucked diesel through their gills for several days and were unavailable for comment...
We all recall the names Prestige, Torrey Canyon and the Exxon Valdeze. Few recall the damning judgements of the Marine Accident Investigation boards. Fewer still question why our politicians effectively condone the spewing of oil and a plethora of other chemicals into our coastal waters?
Perhaps, as surfers, we are more sensitive to the issue of marine pollution than most. But is our sensitivity blinding us to the truth, are we banging on about a situation that just isn't a problem?
During a prolonged flat spell I began to question this and decided to do some research....
The quickest and most variably reliable source of "truth" is clearly the internet. Arguably, the internet is more unreliable than a surfer during a 6ft clean swell but has the huge bonus of providing a research tool within easy walking distance of the nearest kettle and the opportunity for intermittent progress checks on incoming swells.
Maybe the data will be a little rough around the edges, or possibly made up by a 14 year old boy from Pennsylvania but this isn't research for a corporate sponsored PhD, it's more of a "stand in the countryside and sniff the air to see if we're in a Provencal field of aromatic Thyme or stuck in the bitter sweet rancor of a pig pen in Watford" type of thing. Don't panic, this isn't going to get too deep and might even be partly (and accidentally) accurate.
So, armed with a laptop, a low grade internet connection, and a singular determination to unveil the truth, I began an investigation that took me on a virtual journey from London (where most of the UK government is), to Brussels (where the European Union does its beaurocratic thing).
And then on to LA County (which is lovely and sunny with large palm trees and crammed with more surfers than a public showing of the 100 Best Baywatch Bikini Moments), to Washington DC (where the US administration is rumoured to be)
And finally to Sellafield (whereupon I ran like the radiologically infested wind for fear of growing a third arm. I considered hanging around in the hope of growing a third leg instead thus making a faster escape, but have enough trouble surfing with just two legs and decided against it).
Several days later, bug eyed and pop-up phased, I found the website of the Environment Agency, who confirmed that a large number of nasty substances are put into the rivers and seas of the UK. Roughly speaking the list of substances permitted and not permitted to be discharged into coastal waters (depending on who is doing the discharging, what and how much they are discharging, and whether or not they are doing it in the middle of the night when everyone else is in bed)
These include acids, dyes, fertilser, paints, hydrocarbons, heavy metals, pesticides, sewage, radioactive waste, and various other things you wouldn't necessarily want in your breakfast cereal, or come to that, squirted into your nasal cavities during a rather heavy wipeout.
The list of things dropped, dumped, discharged, toppled, chucked, poured, and surreptitiously nudged into the sea is obviously much longer than the list of substances that the Environment Agency tests for. They work on the premise that if they test for some of the more common nastier chemicals and find them, then there is no point worrying about the odd jam jar of cyanide that they missed.
The Environment Agency's counterpart in the US is the US Environmental Protection Agency, who's budget in recent years has been severely slashed.
Clearly someone in power thinks that the USEPA have no need or business to go peaking into the corporate dustbins of the US and have tailored their budget accordingly.
This possibly explains why there is no meaningful pollution data available on their website, having blown their meager web allowance on a rather snazzy flower shaped logo.
But what do these chemicals do to us? Are organisations such as 'Surfers Against Sewage' and 'The Surfrider Foundation' merely scaremongerers and ruffians shaking us out for loose change? Or is there a real risk to surfers health from biochemical exposure?
After all didn't Sadam lose a few palaces, a fleet of Rolls Royce, and his favourite subterranean entertainment chamber because someone thought he might douse the western world in biochemical ooze within 45 minutes of waking up on a bad hair day?
The internet revealed an array of studies that suggested exposure to the chemicals so far mentioned would have various effects, ranging from mild hair loss and facial discolouration to permanent irreversible insanity.
Of all the noxious substances to be found unnaturally in our marine environment, oil is the most visible, and lead contender for the Chemical Society's award for "thing most likely to shag things up big time".
In 2003 there were 1175 spillages of oil into the rivers and coastal waters of the UK. The figure for the US is presumably significantly larger since it is approximately twice as big as the UK and includes Texas, where oil is used for most things that don't (and many that do) require the proximity of a naked flame.
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