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Foundation tier sample answers

Here are two sample essays that refer to point four of the essay plan.

Sample answer one

Here are two sample essays that refer to point four of the essay plan set out in step 4.

Atticus does not seem very happy that Scout, Jem and Dill have come to see him at the jail house. We know this because we are told, A flash of plain fear was going out of his eyes, but returned when Dill and Jem wriggled into the light. This might make the children tense. Also, when one of the men tells Atticus that Heck Tate and his men have been called away on a snipe hunt and they ask Atticus if he had thought about this, Atticus says he had not believed the men would do this. He says this changes things but then adds, Do you think so? Scout tells us this means someone might get jumped so again this could help us know the characters are feeling tense. Scout tries to run to Atticus and Jem tries to stop her. He gives a shriek which shows us he might be worried and tense at this moment.

Feedback comments – some good ideas but improvements need to be made

This answer shows some understanding of the way in which Atticus reacts but it does not link this to how we know there is a lot of tension in the extract. Answers should always refer to the question, especially in the opening sentence.

There is a considerable amount of retelling in this answer. Examiners expect analysis of what is said and the way a character responds and not just to be told what the character said.

This answer would get higher marks if it included more language analysis. For example, it would be helpful to comment on the actual words Atticus uses when he speaks to the lynch mob and how this adds tension to the scene.

The sentence on Jem should not be included in this paragraph which is meant to be about the way Atticus responds to the men.

Sample answer two

We can tell Atticus feels tense in this extract from the way he reacts to the men in the lynch mob. Atticus tries to keep calm when he is told that Heck Tate is not nearby, Well then... that changes things doesn’t it? but the fact that he admits this changes things, helps the reader realise that Atticus is beginning to feel tense about the situation. Atticus tries hard to remain calm and polite but as the extract develops it is possible to see that he is becoming tense. This is particularly the case when his children and Dill appear. Harper Lee writes, A flash of plain fear was going out of his eyes, but returned when Dill and Jem wriggled into the light. This suggests Atticus is feeling tense, especially when there is fear in his eyes as he is afraid of what the mob might do to the children.

Feedback comments – this is a much improved answer

This answer immediately links to the title which is exactly what the examiner wants to see.

There is no retelling in this answer. The points that are made relate to the question and there is also some language analysis of what Atticus says.

Well integrated evidence is embedded into the body of the answer.

There is no mention of the way other characters react. This answer sticks clearly to covering Atticus and the way he reacts.

The use of words such as ‘suggests’ is also useful in this answer as it shows there is plenty of analysis taking place.