Analysing non-fiction - Sample answer 鈥 version two
Question
Refer to both Text 1 and Text 2.
Compare how the writers of Text 1 and Text 2 present their ideas and perspectives on food.
Support your answer with detailed references to the texts.
Both writers present the idea that good school dinners are important to children.
Orwell begins with a focus on the food, using the adjectives 鈥榖ad鈥 and 鈥榠nsufficient鈥. He describes the jam as spread 鈥榯hinly鈥, suggesting that Orwell would have liked more. He tells an anecdote about how frightened he was when stealing food at night, the adjective 鈥榩aralysed鈥 implies that the boys froze with fear every time they took a step. The reader might be surprised that 鈥榮craps of bacon rind鈥 were worth stealing.
Similarly, Jamie Oliver鈥檚 article also begins with a focus on the food. A rule of three is used to describe the food, 鈥榞ood, fresh, real鈥, these words connote healthy food. The alliteration of 鈥榟ealth and happiness鈥 sounds positive. Unlike Orwell鈥檚 essay, the children are encouraged to enjoy being involved with food, verbs such as 鈥榗hopping, grating, picking鈥 suggest lots of activity.
The articles finish with very different ideas and perspectives on school dinners. Orwell鈥檚 article ends leaving the reader with an image of the 鈥榤iserable鈥 supper the boys received. Bread, cheese and water sounds plain and boring. Whereas Jamie Oliver鈥檚 article ends on a positive note, words such as 鈥榚nthusiastic鈥, 鈥榝un鈥 and 鈥榮uccess鈥 suggest that the school dinners project has been a great experience for all involved.
Feedback 鈥 improving
This answer:
- Has an introduction which gives an overview of the answer, and a conclusion, even if it is very short.
- Uses quotation and examples to back up points. Some of the points are developed with further discussion 鈥 like how word choices suggest the attitudes of both writers.
- Selects words and explores their connotationAn idea or image which is suggested by a word, which is not its dictionary meaning, eg the connotation of 'desk' might be school..
- Identifies methods, eg choice of adjectiveA describing word. and verbA 'doing' word; a word expressing action. 'Walk', 'talk', 'come', 'go', 'eat' and 'sleep' are all verbs..
- Comments on how the texts might affect the reader.
- Compares how the texts end.
However, it would have been better if:
- They had developed their introduction, summarising the key ideas and perspectives over the entire extracts.
- They had commented on the different forms used, as well as their purpose and intended audiences eg, Orwell鈥檚 essay aims to inform the readers about his early life, using the first personThe 'I' or 'we' used by a narrator who is a participant in a narrative, in contrast to the third person - 'he', 'she' or 'they' - of a narrator who is not directly involved. gives a sense of his character. It is also written in a way that is entertaining, with anecdoteA short amusing or interesting story about a real incident or person. and details to help readers imagine what life used to be like. The Jamie Oliver feature article aims to inform the reader about his 鈥楩ood Revolution Day鈥, encouraging them to understand the benefits of improving school dinners.
- They had explored the meanings created by the word choices quoted, eg the word 鈥渞eal鈥 implies that the food is natural rather than full of added chemicals.
- They had developed their point about Orwell鈥檚 final image, eg the word 鈥渕iserable鈥 conveys the unhappiness the boys felt. It could also imply how small the 鈥渕iserable鈥 supper was.
- They had linked points to further evidence, eg the alliterationA sound feature; the repetition of the same sounds (mainly consonants) usually at the beginning of words. of 鈥渉ealth and happiness鈥 sounds positive as it emphasises the key benefits of 鈥渃ooking from scratch鈥.
- They had developed their conclusion, summarising the ideas and perspectives presented in both texts, eg Orwell鈥檚 perspective is that his school dinners were insufficient, poor quality and boring. On the other hand, the Jamie Oliver article presents the idea that school dinners can be fresh and exciting. However, both texts suggest that it is a good idea to improve school dinners.