Cherry Gets Married: What getting hitched means to me
Post categories: Cherry Gets Married,ÌýCherry Healey,ÌýFactual
| 17:09 UK time, Friday, 17 September 2010
Three months ago I changed. My name changed, my 'status' changed and my left hand changed. In short, I got hitched.
Externally, apart from the piece of metal on my finger nothing has changed at all. But internally things have changed quite a bit...
I am now a 'Mrs'
This has pros and cons. On the good side, sometimes I get taken seriously! I had a meeting with my bank manager and for the first time I didn't feel intimidated! BUT this change in status comes with boring admin: passport, bank cards, registration and bill information all need to be changed. I also sometimes forget I am a Mrs - hesitating for a moment before answering the question 'what is your name?' Always impressive!
I've taken a giant leap of faith
Whilst, of course you can be just as close without being married, for me there is something extremely powerful about standing in front of someone and telling them you'll stick by them. It was overwhelming to hear someone say 'I want to be with you for the rest of my life - even though I know you will get old and ugly and grumpy and eat too many donuts'. OK, I added the last bit, but that's essentially what someone is saying when they say 'I do'. Obviously, for 40% of marriages this isn't the outcome. But I think it is incredibly romantic (some people choose to call it naive!) that people still make that promise to each other regardless of the statistics. No one knows what will happen in the future but it's kind of amazing to take a leap of faith and make that promise to another human being.
I've gained a new sense of community
Life can be so busy and hectic; it's sometimes hard to keep in touch with the people you love. And if family live far away it's even harder. One of the elements of the wedding I most enjoyed was having close friends and family all in the same place. When I went into the church I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere of support. I underestimated the significance of having everyone with us on the day. During the vows the congregation were asked if they agreed to support the couple in their marriage - again, this was such a powerful moment! I looked at my husband and we both smiled as the reply boomed back 'YES'! For me, this is almost as important as the 'I do' I heard from my hubbie. I know that marriage is really hard - and that there are going to be times when we want to put each other's head in the washing machine - but these are the times we will need the encouragement and support of all the people in our life.
It's not all about me
It's easy to get caught up in the wedding circus; what will my dress look like? What will my hair be like? Will people think I look ok? I'm a bit of a tomboy and even I had a major dress meltdown! But I realised that a wedding is not just about the couple - it's also a significant day for the people that love them. For their friends, it's acknowledging that your mate now comes with a mate-for-life. And as a friend, it's your job to support them through the good and bad times. For the parents and close family you are welcoming a new person into the fold and entrusting the care of your beloved family member into the hands of someone else. It's also a rare chance to put on a massive party for all your family and friends. I really loved watching everyone at the wedding getting stuck in and dancing the night away!
I don't have to do it again (hopefully!)
There is so much pressure that the wedding day is 'the best day of your life'. Wow, pressure! I have to say that in the end it was an incredible, beautiful day but in the few weeks running up to the wedding I was pretty stressed. I had always thought that brides complaining about wedding admin were clearly just not organised and perhaps a bit moany. I was proved very wrong. If you're organising the day yourself and have a busy job, dealing with the admin is full-on! Now, I know I brought it on myself. It is totally possible to get married in an electric blue jumpsuit (I was tempted) on the beach, but for some reason I chose to go down the traditional route. And a traditional wedding comes with an enormous to do list! Anyway, thanks to the support of some amazing people, we managed to pull it off without any dramas and I had an absolute blast. But, at 3am, when I slumped into bed after the party, I sent up a little 'thanks' to whoever's up there that it was done and dusted!
Cherry Healey presents Cherry Gets Married on Monday at 9pm.
Next week, Cherry will be sharing her dating stories here on the blog and you can watch Cherry Goes Dating on Monday 27th September at 9pm.
Externally, apart from the piece of metal on my finger nothing has changed at all. But internally things have changed quite a bit...
I am now a 'Mrs'
This has pros and cons. On the good side, sometimes I get taken seriously! I had a meeting with my bank manager and for the first time I didn't feel intimidated! BUT this change in status comes with boring admin: passport, bank cards, registration and bill information all need to be changed. I also sometimes forget I am a Mrs - hesitating for a moment before answering the question 'what is your name?' Always impressive!
Cherry Healey shares Bhakti Maisuri's wedding day in Cherry Gets Married
Whilst, of course you can be just as close without being married, for me there is something extremely powerful about standing in front of someone and telling them you'll stick by them. It was overwhelming to hear someone say 'I want to be with you for the rest of my life - even though I know you will get old and ugly and grumpy and eat too many donuts'. OK, I added the last bit, but that's essentially what someone is saying when they say 'I do'. Obviously, for 40% of marriages this isn't the outcome. But I think it is incredibly romantic (some people choose to call it naive!) that people still make that promise to each other regardless of the statistics. No one knows what will happen in the future but it's kind of amazing to take a leap of faith and make that promise to another human being.
I've gained a new sense of community
Life can be so busy and hectic; it's sometimes hard to keep in touch with the people you love. And if family live far away it's even harder. One of the elements of the wedding I most enjoyed was having close friends and family all in the same place. When I went into the church I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere of support. I underestimated the significance of having everyone with us on the day. During the vows the congregation were asked if they agreed to support the couple in their marriage - again, this was such a powerful moment! I looked at my husband and we both smiled as the reply boomed back 'YES'! For me, this is almost as important as the 'I do' I heard from my hubbie. I know that marriage is really hard - and that there are going to be times when we want to put each other's head in the washing machine - but these are the times we will need the encouragement and support of all the people in our life.
Cherry meets Jo Bryan and Rob Stone as they prepare for their wedding day
It's easy to get caught up in the wedding circus; what will my dress look like? What will my hair be like? Will people think I look ok? I'm a bit of a tomboy and even I had a major dress meltdown! But I realised that a wedding is not just about the couple - it's also a significant day for the people that love them. For their friends, it's acknowledging that your mate now comes with a mate-for-life. And as a friend, it's your job to support them through the good and bad times. For the parents and close family you are welcoming a new person into the fold and entrusting the care of your beloved family member into the hands of someone else. It's also a rare chance to put on a massive party for all your family and friends. I really loved watching everyone at the wedding getting stuck in and dancing the night away!
I don't have to do it again (hopefully!)
There is so much pressure that the wedding day is 'the best day of your life'. Wow, pressure! I have to say that in the end it was an incredible, beautiful day but in the few weeks running up to the wedding I was pretty stressed. I had always thought that brides complaining about wedding admin were clearly just not organised and perhaps a bit moany. I was proved very wrong. If you're organising the day yourself and have a busy job, dealing with the admin is full-on! Now, I know I brought it on myself. It is totally possible to get married in an electric blue jumpsuit (I was tempted) on the beach, but for some reason I chose to go down the traditional route. And a traditional wedding comes with an enormous to do list! Anyway, thanks to the support of some amazing people, we managed to pull it off without any dramas and I had an absolute blast. But, at 3am, when I slumped into bed after the party, I sent up a little 'thanks' to whoever's up there that it was done and dusted!
Cherry Healey presents Cherry Gets Married on Monday at 9pm.
Next week, Cherry will be sharing her dating stories here on the blog and you can watch Cherry Goes Dating on Monday 27th September at 9pm.
- More about Cherry Gets Married
- Read Cherry's thoughts about having a baby on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ Three blog
- Details about the previous programme Cherry Has a Baby
Comment number 1.
At 19th Sep 2010, yogaislife wrote:Really looking forward to the show tomorrow Cherry, just been reading the posts on "cerry has a baby". I think the nation is falling in love with you ;0) all my friends have said such wonderfull things about you and the programme. It was a pleasure to take part.
Happy belated birthday to Coco.
Tilia and I are doing great too.
love stacey. XxX
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Comment number 2.
At 20th Sep 2010, ridelikeagirl wrote:Watching the young couple on Cherry gets married brought back memories - I married my childhood sweetheart at 18 and now 21 years later I would say we're even happier so whilst most people would look and think they are mad, I wish them lots of luck for the future.
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Comment number 3.
At 20th Sep 2010, mileys mummy wrote:Cherry you are such a insperation!!!!
Both your programs were fab x
Your daughter is absooo gawjus!!! X
Now youv experianced two big chapters in life does it feel? X me and my partner have a baby girl 8 momthes old and were both 20 x wev spoke abwt marraige so i can move around with him ( hes. In the army) im pritty nervous abwt the idea is that normal? Lol x
Well i wish you , your partner and your little princess all the best!! X
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Comment number 4.
At 20th Sep 2010, CarleyB wrote:I just watched 'Cherry Gets Married' - I loved it. Could we see a full length picture of your dress Cherry? I'm looking for something similar, simple but beautiful.
Congratulations and the best of luck
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Comment number 5.
At 22nd Sep 2010, cherryhealey wrote:Hi Carly,
So glad you liked the dress! There are details of where it was made and pictures on my blog (www.cherryhealey.com). It was really hard finding something that was totally simple - I found that vintage dresses were beautiful but very expensive, they usually start at about £2500. So I think it's a good idea to hunt about, try loads on, and then design one yourself. Good luck, I hope it goes well! Cxx
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Comment number 6.
At 22nd Sep 2010, katepuncher wrote:Cherry, i have to say you are a fantastic, beautiful person and your programmes have been amazing. you are such an inspiration to women out there and i have thoroughly enjoyed watching your programmes.
I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant and got married over a year ago. Toatally love your honesty especially during your pregnancy..... we definately need to see alot more of you on tv x
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Comment number 7.
At 24th Sep 2010, george-birdpink wrote:Cherry,
your programs are super. i get married in 3 weeks (cringe!), and have been through all of the thought processes you did. Thank you so much for portraying an honest, cultural and open minded insight into marriage. cant wait to see the dating one, but I'm now thinking, didn't your marriage work out? wouldn't you have shown the dating one first!!?? either way, I'm very excited about watching it!
PS you got married in the same church my grandparents got married in! they were the first couple to get married there after they repaired the damage from the war. it is a beautiful church!
your awesome Cherry! keep doing what your doing!
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Comment number 8.
At 28th Sep 2010, lorrie89 wrote:Cherry Im lovin' all these programmes, so insightful and on point BUT your missing out one type of lady!!
THE ONE WITH KIDS FROM PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. Other than that, ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!!!
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Comment number 9.
At 30th Sep 2010, liverpool lass 21 wrote:hiya cherry
i have watched and loved all of your shows now, an i must tell you they has inspired me so much and i am sure alot of other young women too x
i have been with my other half now for over a year now and i have not long starded planning my wedding day. believe it or not i have finshed all of my to buy list for the day and have started my 2 yr count down to do befor the big day x
some of my friends are shock that i have planned my day and worked out my budget of just under (£3000).with such detail and personilied things involived in the day that they all thought it was impossible.my other half and i are not looking to have the big white princess day that just focus on the bride to be. but we both wanted a day to celebrate the union of two familys coming together.we have planned are wedding day to be on the 3rd annerviary of the day we first met x
if there are any other brides to be that have been looking for inpiration on there big day but do not have the budget to splash out on a wedding dress that nearly cost the same as my full wedding day. then can i just say there is hope out there all is not lost. get ready to check your eye site and you may want to read this again but my wedding dress only cost me £25 yes thats right! and befor you start imaging a horribel discusting dress that looks like it was made out of your gran's old curtains. it was infact from a top bridle wear designer monsoon bridle.whitch i have now personilied to make it unique so i know there will be no other like it x
there are plenty more inspiring things i could tell you all about but i will let you think of a few things your selfs you might be suprised with what you come up with once you have realy thought about them x
ps . cherry i wish you the best of luck with your new family and hope you have a long and happy marrage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Comment number 10.
At 16th Oct 2010, hms88 wrote:Evening Cherry, I absolutely relish in watching your documentary...simply superb!
May i just ask were did you purchase your thick wollie hat from...i really want one also.
Best, H
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