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57 Channels ( And Nothin' On)

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Americans now spend as much time online as they do watching television. Mind you, anyone who has watched much of output of the big US networks will not be surprised by this statistic. In fact if the survey said Americans spend more time sticking needles in their eyes than they do watching television it would not surprise us.

Apart from the brilliant stuff like Weeds, Studio 60, Six Feet Under, West Wing, The Wire etc there are hours of un-watchable nonsense. Although amusingly, I did an internet search for America's worst TV shows which brought up a site run by The Parents' Television Council. It's an organisation which exists to “promote and restore responsibility and decency to the entertainment industry" and which helpfully, flags up the shows that "push the limits of decency". Deal Or No Deal, you will be glad to hear, is "completely devoid of sex and violence". Phew.

I'm one of those people who spends more time online then I do in front of the telly, although it seems that may not be healthy. I felt somewhat chastised yesterday after reading in my favourite newspaper that "a life lived online is not a real life".

I was already anxious after learning earlier in the week that pensioners spend more time online than anybody else. I got to thinking that maybe by spending hours online I was just demonstrating another one of my pensioner tendencies, of which there are many.

Yesterday, for instance, I texted my senior producer to get her to ask her mum if it was OK to freeze scones*. This is not normal Saturday afternoon behaviour for an urbane,media man in his 40's. I should be down Soho House with Jude and Sadie, not at home wondering how to deal with a scone surplus.

Mind you pensioners ain't what they used to be (Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney being good examples) and drinking tea, watching Richard and Judy and surfing the net all day is not the sole preserve of the over 60's.

I was reminded of this when I bumped into my friend Jimmy Irvine this afternoon. Jimmy is 72 and is still running. He can run a half-marathon in 1h:33m, a time that most men half his age would struggle to achieve. So much for pipe and slippers…

It’s time to sing if you’re glad to be grey! What about the pensioners of pop as a theme?

*By the way, the answer is yes, for up to 3 months - but why would you? Thanks for that Mrs Aitken.

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