An Embarrassment Of Richies
There now follows a short lecture by Professor Madge Rich, one which you English students will find both informative and useful. Everyone else, you'll just have to enjoy it for other reasons. Now, have your notebooks ready, and for GOODNESS' SAKE PAY ATTENTION AT THE BACK THERE...
"Good morning class. Collective nouns, we love them, don't we? OK, some of you aren't entirely sure what they are yet, but believe me, once everyone has consulted a dictionary, or the internet, or wikipedia and stuff, we'll all be, ah... [consults notes]...oh yes...riding on The Collective Noun Love Bus, and no mistake.
Are you with me yet? No? Well, a collective noun is the word used to describe an amount of things. And some things have their very own collective noun. So the collective noun for toast is a ROUND of toast. The collective noun for cows is a HERD of cows. And the collective noun for crows is a MURDER of crows. Yes, that's right, MURDER, funny, isn't it?
But what of pop stars, indie bands, rappers, and every other kind of music-based thing of which there is more than one? Surely they have their very own collective nouns? Well, you might be surprised to learn that they don't. Or at least, they didn't until now..."
Allow me, Professor Madgella Richmond, to present the very first list of Pop Collective Nouns.
Groups Of Pop Stars
A peacock of emo bands
A torso of boybands
A pomp of divas
A scowl of rappers
A casualty of failed pop stars
A carcrash of celebrity marriages
A simper of X Factor contestants
A moptop of trendy new indie bands
A pestilence of wafty 'Big Indie' bands
A nepotism of Simpsons (also a nepotism of Minogues)
A nostalgia of tribute bands
Individual Musical Acts
An epidemic of My Chemical Romances
A flounce of Scissor Sisters
A deafening of Girls Aloudses
An asylum of Kooks
A stew of Black Eyed Peas
An abomination of James Blunts
A glamour of Sophie Ellis Bextors
A packet of Eminems
An exile of Outkasts
A stabbing of (Britney) Spearses
A mess of Babyshambles
A monobrow of Gallaghers
A blinding of Razorlights
A dehydrating of Red Hot Chili Peppers
A sturdy oak of Akons
A zipper of McFlys
A confusion of LostProphets
An arousal of Timberlakes
A beard of Muses 
A loose change of Fiddies
An apocalpyse of Thoms
A bouffant of Horrors
A Lazarus of Nellys Furtado
A barnet of Towers Of London
An ASBO of Sovereigns
An earlynight of Keanes
A blogsnob of Lilys Allen
A mumbling of Corinne Bailey Raes
A desperation of Leo Sayers
A ballad of Westlifers
An arrogance of Borrells
A skimpy of Pussycat Dolls
Things Pop Stars Do
A Halliwell of OK! magazine photoshoots
A Tweedy of popstars you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of
A Doherty of popstars with questionable hygiene
A Coyle of band members being groomed for a solo career
A Mathers of rappers who like to swear
A Slipknot of grunting metallers
A makeover of rebranded popstars who have 'gone rock'
A fisticuff of warring indie stars
A niptuck of surgically-enhanced stars
An ingratitude of bands who follow up a successful album with a deliberately inaccessible one
A careerdeath of stars who've taken foolish musical directions
A RudeBox of foolish musical directions to take
A sensation of *insert good band*
A perfection of *insert all my favourite bands here*
A big hand for Professor Madge there...Now, as you can tell, this is clearly an unfinished list. There's lots of scope for further linguistic invention, and this is where you come in. Use the comments box below to send in YOUR collective nouns, and be the envy of all your friends (assuming your friends are REALLY into silly word games and pop music, that is).
COME ON, I'M WAITING...
Comments
Clearly a thesaurus of the Shakiras.
Possibly a banshee of Christina Aguileras.
An onslaught of Crazy Frogs?
A panda of Lavignes.
[Yes! A panda of Lavignes RULES! - Fraser]
cheers, this will help me out on the literacy part ofmy PGCE!!!
good