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Stop The MADNESS!

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Fraser McAlpine | 12:34 UK time, Thursday, 15 March 2007

take_that_banner.jpg

OK, I could get on board with the revival of Take That for a while there. It's always fun to catch up with old friends. And it's even more fun to watch elderly gentlemen attempting to do dance routines which would best suit teenagers, even if they're really fit (or Gary Barlow). And 'Shine' is a rare spark of light in a chart which is often dominated by dullness, bigness and shouting.

But, in the months since Gary, Mark, Tonto and Biggles first decided that their collective future was a lot brighter than their solo pasts had been, two things have happened which suggest that perhaps a line has been crossed...then reversed back over and crossed again...then moonwalked all over...then spat on.

First of all, Radio 2 had one of those phone/web votes to work out how best to fill a few hours of air time on a bank holiday the nation's favourite band of all time. It was called The Great British Battle Of The Bands. No.1 was Queen, No.2 was the Beatles, No.3 was the Rolling Stones, No.4 was...actually, I can't remember, Led Zeppelin? Busted? Oh no! It was Oasis...and No.5 was Take That.

Call me a rocksnob, call me a bore...but SHUT UP are Take That the fifth best band from Britain ever. Not while Gorky's Zygotic Mynci records are still available in the shops they're not.

Anyway, that's the first line-cross. The second is that plans have been revealed for a West End musical based on Take That's songs. The stage show is supposedly about a Take That tribute band, and will feature performances of all the band's big hit songs apart from 'Patience' and 'Shine', because the band sold the stage rights to their old hits when times was hard.

Leaving aside the fact that you could sketch out which song should go where in your sleep (if it doesn't end with 'Never Forget', it's not really a West End musical)...who wants to see a musical about a Take That tribute band, based on the music of Take That, but featuring none of the members of Take That?

Surely it shows a fundamental mis-understanding of the appeal of pop acts if you focus solely on the tunes and not the faces and personalities of the people in the band? That's like saying that most of the screams and hysteria of the Take That phenomenon were based around a chinstroking appreciation of Gary Barlow's songwriting talent, and the fact there were fit boys jigging about in oil right next to him was neither here nor there.

The show's producer, Tristan Baker, seems to have been more of a chin-stroker than a screamer. His press statement reads: "We are the biggest fans of Take That's music and we are so excited about the wonderful opportunity to create a new musical based on the fantastic catalogue of their work."

Meanwhile, the real Take That, who seem to be very aware of how lucky they are in the wider scheme of things, are understandably reluctant to be seen to be over-milking their own legacy, and have distanced themselves from the production, telling the press: "The band would like to state categorically that this production is being undertaken with neither their involvement nor their endorsement. They would wish their fans and the general public to know that this production is absolutely and 100% nothing to do with Take That."

Mind you, I bet everyone a (Monopoly) fiver that the very first thing that Robbie Williams does when he's feeling a bit better is make a surprise appearance with the fake 'That. Assuming the musical hasn't folded by then, obv...

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Play 'Where's Howard's Head?'...
'Shine' reviewed...

Comments

  1. At 10:27 AM on 16 Mar 2007, Lisa wrote:

    Take Thats success just reflects their talent, drive and the huge support from their fans 10 years on.

    For people to comment on the lack of talent, I would suggest they research into their comments before making them. For example, Gary has had a huge success behind the scenes writing songs for many bands and singers.

    I have met many people who were never a fan of Take That or their music first time round, but with their revamped image and songs they like them and would pay to see them in concert. That in itself shows they still have it!

    So here is to bands like East 17 and All Saints who have reformed and failed, not like Take That who went straight into Number 1 with Patience and their album.

    Actions speak louder than words!

  2. At 06:14 PM on 17 Mar 2007, Kittie wrote:

    As of now, this is my favourite collection of words on the internet.

  3. At 06:20 PM on 17 Mar 2007, Kittie wrote:

    This is the best thing I've read all week.

  4. At 01:35 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Amy wrote:

    wow lisa i couldn't agree more! people who talk badly about take that should think about what they are saying 8 number 1's then split up 10 years later that have came back and got another 2 number 1's. take that have many fans (including myself) and after 10 years their are more fans than ever so please don't speak badly of them. they are all amazing singers and amazing guys and gary is a fantastic song writter! i respect them and i'm sure many others do!

  5. At 05:03 PM on 18 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Madness is the best Uk band since 28 years

    it's a shame that radio one don"t play their new single" Sorry" !!

  6. At 05:41 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Amanda wrote:

    I think that TAKE THAT are aload of crap.


    PET SHOP BOYS ARE THE VERY BEST IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS NOW AND FOREVER.

  7. At 06:20 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Zoe wrote:

    Take That are really good. I think it's such a shame that everybody is calling Take That and nobody is calling Robbie Williams. Robbie's called them all rotten and they've had said nothing horrible about him! Why should we call them they have done nothing wrong!

  8. At 06:39 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Miz wrote:

    I haven't laughed so much in ages! Thank you! It's a pity your opinions aren't based on fact though! ;) Take That are a success again. Why cant people accept that and move on? There are other, more terrible things, to have a moan about- how about the atrocity that is Lily Allen, or most of the other bad stuff in the charts that claims to be music?

    Fans and sales figures speak for themselves, I'll be seeing TT on tour and enjoying every moment of their comeback!

    Long live Take That!!!

  9. At 06:50 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Sarah wrote:

    Take That are a success again and it's great! They're such an awesome group and i don't see why everyone has a problem with them!!

  10. At 06:58 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Mark Butler wrote:

    Regarding Gary Barlow's physique, it's a myth that he's not fit. I once shared a physiotherapist with him and saw him topless. He has a six-pack!

    Kind regards, Mark.

  11. At 07:58 PM on 18 Mar 2007, Ben wrote:

    What is going on with the world? Everyone loves Take That again, Boyzone are getting back together, Dolly Parton and Donny Osmand are in the top ten in the alubum chart too. And their all rubbish. I'd rather lick my own armpit then listen to any of them.

  12. At 10:27 AM on 19 Mar 2007, valentina wrote:

    Why don't u think about the lack of talent there is in the music biz????Why do u always complaint about TAKE THAT???They are the best, and they've proved it!!!10 years later they are still at number 1!!!You better think about other bands that today are meaningless and no talented....Take that are not only 5 cute blocks,they are songs writers too(Gary more than the others...but anyone knows it!)Bands such as East 17 or Blue didn't write their songs(Gaz did for Blue!!!)and even in the dance routines they were crap!!Take That are still able to go straight to number 1!!!So SHUT UP U STUPID JOURNALISTS!!!

    And as Lisa wrote...Actions speak louder than words!

  13. At 11:31 AM on 19 Mar 2007, John wrote:

    Go on have pop at the lads, One massive hit album two number one singles Hmmm isn't that telling you something..it's what the people want.Who cares if they have dance moves the charts have dominated by hyped rubbish for a long time too long by singers and bands who don't that elongivity of the others you mentioned take that will be around for years.
    You only have to look at the...(havn't got a word for it) UK entry for the eurovision song contest yet again another junk tune by a wannabe Steps the eara has gone wake up Wogan!
    Maybe it would have been better getting rid of the man who has wrecked TV and Charts....the dreaded SIMON COWELL AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh

  14. At 01:24 PM on 19 Mar 2007, simon wrote:

    Please...Take That's success this time is down to the same thing as last time - marketing hype.

  15. At 03:44 PM on 19 Mar 2007, Sarah wrote:

    This little article did amuse me :) If you don't have time for Take That, don't spend your time writing an article on them!
    I think Take That are amazing, and the comeback has been a huge success, although it was a big risk for them to take.
    They have no involvement in the muscial, so I hardly see how they can be blamed for this, although I will be going to see it, as I liek Take Thats music.
    I think they are refreshing, a tune like Shine hasn't come out for years, and I just love it. I think the mature ballads of Patience and I'd Wait For Life are proof of their songwriting talent.
    As for being voted the fifth best band of all time ... well the public have some good opinions. Of course the Beatles and Queen are better, but Take That have a lot going for them. They could write songs, play instruments, sing, dance, were nice people and clicked well together, not mentioning every one is absolutely gorgeous. One of the main things that I think puts Take that up there are their live shows. They are just breathtaking and them selling out in record time shows the damand refects this.
    Therefore I think the madness surrounding Take That is justified, and it always has been.

  16. At 05:52 PM on 19 Mar 2007, Dee wrote:

    I love Take That !

  17. At 07:07 PM on 19 Mar 2007, Steph wrote:

    can i just point owt that none of this so called line crossing doesnt really involve take that. so y moan about it? the vote on radio 2 was decided by the public, and the musical is not backed by them, nor is it even about them. idiot

    Steph, welcome to THE POINT. I haven't said Take That are bad at all. AT. ALL. I said people are acting like they invented musical penicillin. THE BAND aren't acting like this, PEOPLE are. And those people are WRONG.

    Take That are great. They're not the fifth best British band ever, and that musical is a daft idea, because the band won't be in it. That's why the band don't like it too - Fraser]

  18. At 08:50 PM on 19 Mar 2007, Jessie wrote:

    The name of the article should be are we being to nice to Robbie Williams?

  19. At 11:28 AM on 20 Mar 2007, Lisa wrote:

    As for Robbie, what comes around goes around!

    Like Zoe and others have written I feel the same. Robbie thought he could do no wrong when he left Take That and didn't he let everyone know about it with the comments he made. He contributed to the s*** Gary received with his solo career (if you have not guessed it yet - Gary is my fav!)

    So I wish someone could have told Robbie when he left that you should always be nice to the people you meet on the way up as you never know when you will meet them again on the way down.

    I am sure Gary is thinking the same thing!

  20. At 02:37 AM on 27 Mar 2007, jeff wrote:

    stop the jealousy!

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