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Fan-Demonium

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Fraser McAlpine | 18:20 UK time, Wednesday, 4 April 2007

'Pink', 'Ozzy' and 'Sophie' 'Ellis' 'Bextor'

When it comes to being a fan of people who's fortune it is to make music for a living, some people just don't seem to know where to draw the line between being really really into a band/singer, and being ridiculously psychotic about that self-same band/singer.

And what's worse, there are even people who actively CHOOSE to be ridiculously psychotic, and wear their ridiculousness and psychotic-itude like a badge of honour or something. These people are to be avoided at ALL COSTS.*

Don't panic, by the way, it's not like you add that one extra picture to your wall and suddenly you're a psycho. No, you have to really put the hours in to gain that dubious distinction. And not just when the object of your obsession is on tour either.

Metallica tattooFor example, getting a band's logo tattooed on your bum is one thing (and not something ChartBlog wishes to endorse, if there's any mums and dads reading this), but what if you were so besotted with a pop personage that you were prepared to have plastic surgery to try and look like them?

Yeah, that separates the nuts from the raisins, eh?

OK, how about people who are so into a singer they talk to them in times of stress and actually imagine that they are a kind of guardian angel in their life? Not so easy to define, that one, is it? Cos when you really like a band's music, you probably imagine that you would get on well with the people who made that music if you met them socially, don't you? And that's only a couple of steps away from thinking that they might like you enough to want to know that you're OK, and actually perhaps they might want to look after you and...hang on, you mean Rachel Stevens ISN'T my best friend forever? But she's been SENDING ME TELEPATHIC LOVE NOTES, I TELL YOU!

Bearing all this in mind, this week it emerged that a couple in Sweden is so besotted with the music of Metallica (yes, even 'St Anger') that they wanted to call their six-month-old baby girl...well...Metallica.

The Metallica twins

You can see their logic, sort of. I mean it's definitely a girl's name, right?

Michael and Karolina Tomaro are the couple in question, and they've run into trouble with the Swedish National Tax Board, who refuse to acknowledge Metallica as a valid name. They went on to call the name "ugly", which seems a little aggressive for a tax board...

(Read the full story )

But it does raise an interesting question. Which band do you love enough to give their name to one of your children? The Academy Is...? Slipknot? Panic! At The Disco? Probably not.

But it's surely only a matter of time before little Mya Chemical-Romance takes her first steps, or rides her bike in the park. Or young Emma Nem makes her very first naughty hand signal...

Maybe one day, in the not-too-distant future, there will be whole classrooms full of kids with names like Jake That, Sue Gababes, Mike Fly, Sergei Chiefs, Flo Patrol and Max Imo-Park. Can you imagine? THAT. WOULD. RULE.

*sigh*

I'm counting on you, future parents of Britain. DON'T LET ME DOWN...

* Not these people in the photo, you understand. They came straight out of a dressing-up catalogue.

Comments

  1. At 11:05 AM on 05 Apr 2007, Lisa K wrote:

    Funny. Made me crack up!

  2. At 06:14 PM on 09 Sep 2007, olivia wrote:

    omgsh that would seriously be so awesome
    i liked the emma nem one lol i'm gonna try and find a man with the name nem and then have his babies :P although.....if we were doing this by bands we like then there would almost certainly be a little mike fly running around next to his sister sara more
    xx

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