Ash - 'Polaris'
There are many famous music schools - The Brit Academy - home to Katie Melua, Jamie Cullum and the Kooks, Liverpool Institute for the Performing Arts - run by Paul McCartney and home to, err, Sandy Thom, The Royal Academy of Music - home to some snobby sorts with classical instruments, but none can compare to the shadowy institution, the name of which remains a mystery, where singers such as Danny McNamara from Embrace, Sam from Get Cape Wear Cape Fly, and Ash's Tim Wheeler learned how NOT to sing.
Come on Timbo, your MySpace boasts that you've been "making noise since 1977", so surely you should've learned to sing by now? If you've been lucky enough to never hear Ash over the past decade and a bit, you might not think this song so much of a travesty, but compared to the hits from their earlier days, such as 'Girl From Mars', 'Burn Baby Burn', and 'Jack Names The Planets', this utterly stinks.
Admittedly, the strings and piano aren't bad at all, but it's the tired guitar which appears on every Ash track which starts the snore-fest, topped off with Tim's incessant drone.
Ash, take a hint from your name, and retire to the pop crematorium, for everyone's sakes.
(Having said that, your teachers must be SO proud...)
Download: Out now
CD Released: June 18th
(Laura S)
Comments
This song is fabulous... although I must admit I preferred their previous single (sorry I forgot the name of it)
This is the worst written review I have ever read. I doubt Ash will take any notice of what this bitter hag writes anyway, her examples of good artists are the f***ing Kooks and Katie Melua for christs sake :)
Wheeler have been singing like this his entire career, so if his singing did NOT ruin the hits you mention (plus numberous others) why is is suddenly a problem now?
"Ash, take a hint from your name, and retire to the pop crematorium, for everyone's sakes."
Please don't pretend to speak for anybody but yourself.
Obviously Laura S is scene.
When the Kooks are Ash's age she'll like whatever is cool to like, not the Kooks.
She doesn't have a music taste, she has someone elses music taste. Most probably the NME's.
what a shockingly awful and pointless review. this is a quality song. lets hear laura s sing shall we? i'm sure she will have dozens of hits just like ash if they're so bad??! - what a clown
Polaris is a great tune and Tim Wheeler CAN SING!
I don't even like ash and I find this a poorly written review. Also saying that the Kooks can sing... Do you have ears?
If I could sing like Tim Wheeler, I'd definately pull alot more girls. Almost as much as Laura I reckon...
"Ash, take a hint from your name, and retire to the pop crematorium, for everyone's sakes."
Bud dum, chhhh! That's top notch humour. It's almost in the Patrick Kielty school of pure comedy gold.
"(Having said that, your teachers must be SO proud...)"
Are your teachers SO proud for teaching you how to write reviews?
Is that 1 star rating for how the review was written?
That sounds about right.
Polaris on the other hand deserves 4 stars.
You're a moron. Congratulations, that's the worst review I've ever read.
Ok for one thing, how can you compare songs like Burn Baby Burn to Polaris? They are totally different!
Also, you say that we would be lucky to have never heard of ash before, yet say Polaris isnt such a travesty, and then imply that their older tracks like Burn Baby Burn et all are better. What the f*** are you getting at? There's so much crap in the charts at the moment Polaris is easily one of the best in there right now.
I feel sorry for your boss having employed you. I'd advise you to either stick to reviews of teeny bop tracks which you probably know much more about. Either that or do us all a favour and F*** Off and learn something about proper mucic!
[Anyone know anything about proper mucic? I've never heard of it. - Fraser]
wow! i think this is starting to rival the outburst of the mcfly fans, but atleast they werent swearing at you... tut tut, people these days *shakes head*
and peoples, really, this song IS rubbish in comparison to burn baby burn (which i happen to love)
correct me if im wrong, but i swear i heard somewhere that this is their last album
[Only because they're going to be releasing all their songs as download-only singles from now on. What's funny is all this Ash-relating WITHERING SCORN is nothing compared to the outrage of the McFly street team. Which kind of means the teenyboppers are winning, so far. Sorry Lewis. Must try harder next time. - Fraser]
Tim Wheeler actually recieved an honorary degree from LIPA (Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts) presented to him by founder Sir Paul McCartney in 2005
[So, just to play devil's advocate a sec here, what you're saying is they gave him a degree even though he attended none of the courses on offer, and learned none of the valuable musical lessons that they teach at the Institute? Interesting...
By the way, clearly none of you have read what happened the LAST time ChartBlog ran an Ash review...
It's here. Have fun! - Fraser]
Worst. Review. Ever. Do they have one of those schools where they teach people how NOT to write? I mean, if she'd managed to string some competent sentences together I'd take her opinion on board.
AND she like the Kooks. Says it all. She's not fit to shine the shoes of Tim Wheeler.
It's interesting that you take shots at somebodys singing whilst your writing style leaves much to be desired. If you're going to write a bad review at least base it on something other than silly little patronising comments. You make little effort to actually 'review' the song at all.
Im always humored by reading cynical reviews from "critics" who try to disguise their writing inaptitude by using remarks fit for a primary school buly, instead of bothering to write anything trully wity or insightfull.I couldnt dissagree more with your Ash review.Theres nothing wrong with Wheeler`s singing style or Ash`s music.
Is this a review of Polaris or a personal (unnecessary) attack on Tim Wheeler?
Your review is possibly the worst I have ever come across. I can't believe that someone would actually pay you to write b*s like this.
In regards to Tim Wheeler not being able to sing - I suggest you go and see Ash live.
As for Ash's teachers being so proud, your English teacher definitely won't be.
What can you expect from someone who uses the Kooks and Katie Meula as examples for good artists! The lyrics "there are 9 million bicycles in Beijing" - are genius - NOT!!
Get a life you sad bint!
you suck, ash are class and have been one of the top singles bands for over a decade.