The Mitchell Brothers - 'Michael Jackson'
You'll notice I haven't bothered to put 'produced by Calvin Harris' up there in the title of the song. This is largely because you only have to listen to 0.5 of a nanosecond of the first beat of the first bar of the song to realise that it's a Calvin Harris production. The only thing you're missing is a squeaky-voiced man telling everyone who will listen what kind of people he personally would do, given half a chance...
Oh, and while we're on the topic of lyrics - we'll get to the song proper in a sec - there's a line in the chorus which makes no sense at all. It goes:
"I wish I could move like Michael Jackson
Spin around have the world in a gaze"
In a gaze, is it? Do they mean that if you spin around in a circle, keeping your eyes open the whole time, you can see everything in your immediate vicinity in one go? That's hardly 'the world', is it? And you're not HAVING it, you're SEEING it.
Of course, if they mean the spinning around is an amazing spectacle, one which the whole world wants to see, that's not having the world in a gaze, that's having the world stop and stare. You could just about get away with saying "have the world in a daze", because that's certainly what the initial reaction to Michael Jackson's best dance moves was like at the time, but still...
Anyway, that's all I've got, gripewise. Everything else about this song screams 'HIT SINGLE!' so loud that my eardrums have gone into hiding, somewhere around my ankle. And, after years of only hearing about mad fans, legal battles, tabloid stories claiming massively inappropriate behaviour, and crackers plastic surgery, it seems a good time to think about the time when Michael Jackson didn't have to go out and proclaim himself the King Of Pop, because, well, he actually WAS it.
In fact, the only reason this isn't a five-star review - lyrical oddities notwithstanding - is the lack of Calvin Harris himself popping up to declare that he would do you if you were Michael Jackson. It would be a fittung tribute to the man's incredible body of work, don't you think? No?
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 5th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comments
But surely the opening verse is much more bizarre?
Grab your crutch, spin around
Stand on your tippee-toes
Straight into the Moonwalk
And then you scream 'OH'
You pulled it off then you had a glow
That kept me in me bedroom with me door closed
But what was pulled off? Who pulled it off? Who was glowing? Was it ET? We need to know, dammit!
But isn't a bit non-PC for Phil and Grant to be blacking up and getting all jiggy with it? After all, the Black & White Minstrel Show is banned by the ´óÏó´«Ã½. Regardless of the merits of the record, I really think we ought to be saying down with this sort of thing.
[Yes, and also, when did Michael Jackson grab a crutch? Did he have a bad foot? - Fraser]
I suspect the crutch in question was an emotional one.
[Well can you blame it? If Michael Jackson grabbed me, I think I'd probably take a giddy turn too. - Fraser]
I think the lyrics mean that he wants to spin around with the world watching a la Michael Jackson circa 1960s to (mids) 1990s.
Anyway, I like this tune and have been a fan of it since it was first premiered by Calvin himself on Radio 1 in July.
It was played by Annie Mac, Zane Lowe, and Scott Mills and all said the listeners absolutely loved it (both in email contacts and on air). Yet, despite this the powers that be refused to playlist the song, pretty much denying the song, and the Mitchell Brothers, the chance of success they deserve.
It's a sad state when Radio 1 once again don't listen to their public and try to dictate what will but hot what won't.
I've bought a copy and hope many more people do. HMV are selling it online for the bargain price of 99p (inc free delivery!)