How To Destroy...Nickelback
NOTE: This must be the easiest How To Destroy ever, but also the most politically charged (so far, who knows what other dark secrets The Big Book Of How To Destroy Pop Stars contains?).
SO, for the benefit of anyone who is currently drafting a letter to the ´óÏó´«Ã½ Board Of Governors, the Prime Minister, Paul McCartney AND the Archbishop Of Canterbury about how you shouldn't even JOKE about land-mines, maybe something which contains the line "I'd like to see you explain how this is funny to someone who has lost a limb, or worse, a loved-one to landmines. Would that be funny? Hmm? Would it?", here's a disclaimer.
Landmines are bad. I mean really, really bad. It doesn't take a genius to realise that if you bury explosive things in a field, you can't pick and choose who gets blown up by them, or when. Or that getting them back out of the field and making the land safe is going to bring more than its fair share of trauma. To put it into rockspeak, landmines SUCK.
Having said that, suppose there was an occasion where you absolutely, positively HAD to take Chad Kroeger out. Suppose it was a matter of his life or death to every firstborn child in the county of Sussex, what then? Well, maybe you'll bear this instructive little cartoon in mind.
Especially as every landmine that goes Chad's way is a landmine less in the ground.
It's like recycling, in a way, only much more violent.
Comments
Brilliant! Can't believe you got away with this on a ´óÏó´«Ã½ blog, so extra points for that!
[Haha! Thanks Gerard. Fingers crossed I did get away with it! - Fraser]
I was a first born child in the county of Sussex, so thank you for saving my life.
And what is up with Chad's hair and facial furniture, he looks (and always has done) ridiculous.
you cant destroy nickelback. not ever.
nickelback is a great band and their songs are fab!!!!!
nickelback is so cool man
RE: Jamie's comment (No.2)
i believe what this person just wrote simply is harassment and i know ths because iam a lawyer.
you such a din nickelback are grate
Radio 1 is pathetic - far be it for something different from the usual dross you tell people to listen to to have have any luck in the charts.
Nickelback arent my favourite band and I think they have more chance than being remembered than whatever drivel your pedalling this week.
[Er, the Nickelback song isn't even all that different from their OWN usual dross, let alone anything else. That said, (and it's always a joy to have to explain this again) if you think this cartoon is singling Nickelback out for special treatment, you clearly haven't seen the other 38 How To Destroys. Which is a shame, cos there's a link up there and everything. - Fraser]
Thats A Little Harsh...
He And Perhaps The Whole Band Just Care About What Happens Around The World And The People Who Live Here, Theyre Just Choosing To Show This By Exressing Their Thoughts With Their Music And Clothing....
Rather Than Writing Mean Nasty Little Blogs....
What Harm Are They Doing?
They're An Awesome Band, Love Em, But Even If This Was Someone I Didnt Particularly Like, I'd Still Say What Youve Done Is Mean...
Lisa
[Er, yeah. That's kind of the point. You ever tried to destroy someone without being mean? - Fraser]
For once a great classic Rock song hits the charts ON MERIT ALONE and all you hypocrites can do is slag them off... Perhaps Radio One is the place that should be landmined. I am taking Radio ONe off my Presets, YOU STINK!!
[How is it hypocritical to slag off a song you don't like? Especially when it IS a success? It would be far worse to pretend to like it now it's in the Top 5, wouldn't it? Anyway, the only negative comment ChartBlog has made about 'Rock Star' is in the context of these comments. That cartoon up there? IT'S...A...JOKE. - Fraser]
Have BUPA got a special offer on humour by-passes this week? Read the thing before responding wiil ya! Jeez!
I didn't realise Nickelback had a Street Team, lol. It's like McFly all over again.
Tyler: Are you really a lawyer? I have this feeling you're telling porkies?
I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure what I said could not have me sued for harassment.
Maybe you could sue me for being mean about another mans facial hair instead?
Brilliant! I love the defensive comments from all the Nickelback fans who are taking this seriously, adds a nice touch!
[I am seriously considering calling this particular feature 'How To Annoy Idiots (Who Happen To Like...)'. Then everything would be clearer. - Fraser]