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NOTE: Actually, I can't imagine how you could arrange to recreate this little tableau in actual real life, so there's no point telling you not to try it at home. Even if you could get Sam Sparro anywhere near your house (perhaps by bribing him with pretty shoes), you'd have to have a trained sparrowhawk ready to go, and which of us has one of those? Certainly not me.

That said, I would imagine Sam Sparro's worst fear in the whole world would be to lose his hair (we'll gloss over the fact that his eyes seem to have gone with the hair, it's icky), so you can bet that if you COULD get all this to happen, and you had a really good reason for doing it, it would totally work.

How To Destroy Other People...