Ironik - 'I Wanna Be Your Man'
Come on ladies, admit it. Which of you could fail to be flattered if one of your exes, let's say the most significant one, was so overwhelmed with remorse at the way things came to an end that he brought in Alvin & The Chipmunks to sing you a song about it? I mean those little fellas are FILM STARS, and here's the bloke you kicked to the kerb because, sweet as he is, he wasn't ever going to amount to much, and he's brought them along to sing those sweet, sweet, helium harmonies to try and win you round.
As a romantic gesture, it's right up there with a single red rose (which turns out to be made of sweets) or a moonlight stroll across a crazy golf course...
Clearly the thought here is that women love a man who can make them laugh. They do surveys about this kind of stuff all the time, and the gift of humour is the one single biggest factor that a girl looks for in a boy. That's why Simon Amstell spends his days shooing lovesick hotties off his front lawn with a broom, and someone like Zac Efron has such a tough time getting girls to look his way twice.
In the case of this song, the winning moments occur very early on. Alvin and Co launch into a vocal refrain which is pitched at such a high frequency, that the lyrics become a smidge garbled - unless you are a bat, in which case the song possibly isn't aimed at you.
In fact, what after many hours spent listening a pencil in hand, I can reveal that the lyrics to this bit are as follows:
"Every time I see you I can't fly under a tree
Are you the hottest street light in Tyne and Wear?
Iron horse make you earn the stain"
And THAT is the point at which Ironik instructs us all to "listen to the words". See what I mean about funny?
And who can fail to raise a smile when they are referred to as "nothing" before the relationship started? That's always a rib-tickler for the modern girl about town.
Of course, the real message is in the verses, and actually, Ironik once again reveals himself to be one of the nicest, most thoughtful and lady-friendly (as opposed to just banging on about, well, banging) rappers in the whole world.
I tell you, this plus that beautiful song he did for his sister? This is one fella who is NEVER going to have to worry about being alone again.
Especially as those chipmunks are harder to get rid of than chewing gum in a wig. I know, I've seen the film.
Download: Out now
CD Released: September 22nd
(Fraser McAlpine)
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