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They're one of the bands I've frequently accused of not being able to play their instruments but actually, this has some ace instrumentation. Really ace. I'm sort of hand-choking as I type that but it remains the truth. There's something quite disco-y about the whole thing and the little guitar-twiddles are ace. The whole thing is, in fact, utterly delightful. It reminds me of McFly on top form. It makes me a bit tempted to look up the tablature so I can widdle about playing it. It is the sole reason that this song has any stars at all but like a failing game of Rock Band, there is one member not pulling their weight here.

It is utterly, utterly, utterly ruined by the lyrics. Well, the vocals as a whole, which are drab and awful but the lyrics are really the crowning glory of this terror. In the name of (social) science, I have put my BSc. Econ to good use and dissected them followingly:

Hey little sweetie don't you know it's a fact
Your family's gonna be so proud you're top of the class
Now you've got your degree, they hope you return
To show your friends and lovers, all the things that you've learned

Analysis:
What we can learn from this verse is that it is BAD to go to university because only stupid people do that. Social revolutionaries form bands. And no bands have ever, ever been formed by people with degrees or people at universities. Remember that.

You've been a naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
Little girl
In this dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty
Little world

Analysis:
What we learn from this is that they couldn't really think of a chorus.

Poor little sweetie, did you dabble with drugs?
Did you indulge in one night stands, convinced it was love?
And when bottles of red, went straight to your head
You'd wake up thinking, "who the hell that's man in my bed?

Analysis:
What we learn here is that only posh people go to university and that they, especially if female, become confused when exposed to all that REEL LIEF stuff like DRUGS that no one had ever heard of before university. And god forbid, booze and sex! Literally every female student spends her whole time shagging everybody and not even remembering it, fluffy-headed little creatures that they are!

You've been a naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
Little girl
In this dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty
Little world

Analysis:
The chorus was very annoying the first time and can only become moreso.

Everybody leaves here looking so confused
You're emotionally deluded
And your pride's been bruised
Your boyfriend, brother, Mum and Dad
Applaud you from the stage
They'll never know you went through it all just to graduate

Analysis:
OH MY GOD, THEY WENT TO UNIVERSITY TO GET A DEGREE AND LEAVE IN A STATE OF MILD EMOTIONAL CONFUSION CAUSED BY SUDDEN REDUNDANCY. WHAT CONFUSED CHILDREN THESE GIRLS ARE.

You've been a naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
Little girl
In this dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty
Little world

Analysis
Yep, still annoying.

Hey little sweetie, don't you know it's a fact
(you've been a naughty naughty naughty little girl)
Poor little sweetie, did you dabble with drugs?
(in this dirty dirty dirty little world)

Analysis:
Complex lyrical composure was so draining they had to simply ...reinforce their message with some repetition here. Just to, you know, flag up the really obnoxious bits again and again. And again. Until everyone screams.

So, just to summarise, overall Little Man Tate have managed to create a song which implies all female students (and I don't care if they wrote this about a specific girl, it's obnoxiously patronising in its direct tone and definitely sounds as though it's speaking to the listener, presumably mistaken about the fact that a lot of LMT albums and singles and probably bought by female students) are naive, sheltered slags. Well done, there, indie boys, that is absolutely amazing social commentary.

CD Released: September 8th

(Hazel Robinson)