Classified Ads - 12/02/08
------------------- LOST: A RING ------------------- I saw this single lady, I liked it, I put my ring on it, then it moved. Small reward offered. A Single Gentleman | ------------------- PUBLIC NOTICE: ------------------- OK, OK, I get it now! It should have been "are we humanS or are we dancer" Sheesh, you get ONE WORD wrong... Brandon, Las Vegas |
------------------- FOR SALE: MASSIVE LETTERS ------------------- A big 'A', a big 'L', three little 'l's, an 'i', a 'y', an 'e' and an 'n'. Slightly sat on. Job lot. It's Not B, It's Q. | ------------------- ARE YOU CONTRARY? ------------------- I am. Not! Are you? No. Don't come to our not-unique counselling 'service'. And we won't try to help you. (Except we will). Call K-Per's Hot 'n' Cold Therapy. No, don't! |
------------------- WANTED: RUDE SONGS ------------------- I'm thinking initials. I'm thinking spellings. So far I've got 'Be You, Em', and 'Hey, Our Essie!'. Can you do better? Ring 0800 B.R.I.T.N.E.Y. | ------------------- FOR SALE: LARYNX ------------------- Have upgraded to latest computer model. It's on my gold iPhone, baby! Will swap for drum machine, or Kerplunk! A Tribe Called K.West |
------------------- IRK THE PURISTS! ------------------- The perfect wind-up. Take some indie 'classic', give it a Westlife facelift. See the look on their faces as they fume! Ideal birthday prank. Call The X-Reactor | ------------------- SALE: N-DUBZ STUFF ------------------- Inherited from parents. Not really my cup of tea. Includes signed CDs, posters, a funny hat, the lot! My Name's Shaniqua And What? Miller, Cambridge |
------------------- TRAVEL IN TIME! ------------------- Newbie pop stars, want a trip to the future? We can make next year's awards happen TODAY! Previous customers: Adele, Florence Call Dr "Who?!" Now! | ------------------- NEW: DNA TESTS ------------------- Interpol, Editors, White Lies, are they REALLY siblings? Are they genetically safe to cross-pollinate? Find out, using science. Laboratory Exhibition |
------------------- FOR SALE: THE BLUES ------------------- May suit young loner. Has brought me nothing but trouble. Have decided to have a wash and go EMO! Call Seasi...no, wait...just Steve. | ------------------- UNFINISHED ALBUM TITLE ------------------- They left a bit off! It should be 'Songs For You, Truths For Me, A Posie For Nanny, And Buns For Tea!' Lord 'Biffy' Morrison |
------------------- HELP ME! ------------------- Have been away. What's this 'internet' I keep hearing about? Also 'Facebook'? 'Emails'? 'TWITTER'?? Axl 'dot' R@se (is that right?) | ------------------- DEAR SIR OR MADAM ------------------- Girls Aloud on GMTV, Limp Bizkit have reformed. Simple Minds are back. Mika is recording. We won't take this punishment forever, OK? Kind regards, Music. |
------------------- FOR SALE: PUPPETS ------------------- Perfect for kiddy parties (at Wembley Stadium). Guaranteed to upstage all other forms of children's entertainment. Team Coldplay | ------------------- WANTED: VIDEO IDEAS ------------------- I'm thinking dance studio, I'm thinking tutus, I'm thinking salsa / streetdance / ballet. Too subtle? Alesha 'Strictly' Dixon |
Here's a lovely popup with LOADS of old Classified Ads in...
Comment number 1.
At 15th Mar 2009, spirit wrote:NOT FUNNY.
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