JLS - 'Everybody In Love'
WARNING: This review may contain shameless plugs for a music event called Switch Live, which is happening next weekend. See if you can spot them.
In the career graveyard of failed boybands, forgotten girlbands and why-don't-people-love-me-any-more solo singers, the name JLS reverberates like a smashed plate in a cathedral. They're an old-fashioned boyband who are carving a name for themselves in a pop landscape which claims to no longer need old-fashioned boybands, unless they are actually old. And even then, you basically have to be Take That or you're nobody.
"Surely", the whisper goes, "if JLS can do it, then WE can do it! All we have to do is BELIEVE, and OUR TIME WILL COME. Today, the graveyard, tomorrow, Switch Live. And then the world will feel the mighty power of BOYZENDORFER!"
(. It's pretty much what Switch Live would be like, if it took place in in the stairwell of a Victorian workhouse.)
Now, I do not pretend to understand why JLS's old-school moves are winning through where other acts have not - apart from that whole TV talent show endorsement thing, obv - but while they're putting out high quality softypop like this - and appearing at Switch Live - I can't say I'm all that bothered.
And it's not like there's no attempt to make this sound fresh. Those fingerdrums are an unusual embellishment for an open-hearted, soppy, anthemic pop song like this, and they really work too. Their job is to be the salt in the cake recipe, a contrast to the supersweet harmonies which prevents the whole endeavour from inducing a sugar coma in the casual listener.
It's still a really sweet song though. It would definitely sound amazing live - at Switch Live, for example - with an auditorium full of people yelling "everybody in love, gwan put your hands up" and throwing their arms around with total abandon and glee. Why, something like that would possibly be the most exciting thing to ever happen ever, wouldn't you say?
Well, the most exciting until Boyzendorfer rock Switch Live 2010, that is.
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 2nd
´óÏó´«Ã½ Music page
(Fraser McAlpine)
PS: Here's a special extra thing to apologise for all the Switch Live stuff. If you're a fan of rave-inflected Enrique-but-not-boring pop music, you could do worse than have a listen to . He's very big in Sweden, which should be recommendation enough.
PPS: Switch Live.
Comment number 1.
At 30th Oct 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Soooo did you get told off for not being ´óÏó´«Ã½ corp enough or something?
4 stars seems a bit generous giving the review!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)
Comment number 2.
At 30th Oct 2009, Fraser McAlpine - wrote:Nah. ChartBlog is a ´óÏó´«Ã½ Switch production, y'see. I'll be there myself!
It is basically a four-star song, this. I might've arrived at that via cynical means and corporate branding and stuff, but it's a good tune.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 2)
Comment number 3.
At 30th Oct 2009, CurtainJerker wrote:I prefer the tribute band, Poisondwarfer.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 3)
Comment number 4.
At 30th Oct 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:I hope JLS and their ridiculously toned torsos disappear of the face off the Earth!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 4)
Comment number 5.
At 31st Oct 2009, pinkparadox wrote:My love of JLS suffers due to copyright restrictions.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 5)
Comment number 6.
At 31st Oct 2009, kutox wrote:pure 90's american cheese. it amazes me how some people say "they've done well considering they didn't win x factor and didn't have the hype." knock yourselves out. they've had more hype than anyone else i can think of in the last few years, every single time i turn on a tv or radio, it's nothing but JLS songs, guest appearances, and promotion.
they got their fame from x factor, and in doing so they've gained an army of fans consisting of hysterical 10-year-old girls who worship them like gods and think they are 'well fit innit' and think everything they do is 'amazing'. so of course, JLS have taken the easiest route to commercial success possible, by having an image aimed directly at them - the cheesy songs and lyrics, the silly dancing etc. so obviously their screaming fans will go wild about their songs and sadly get them to no.1.
it's astonishing that a group of grown-up lads would want to release songs so unbelievably cheesy and childish like this one, and do such cringeworthy dancing with it - but i suppose it goes to show that they don't have any passion for music, they will just do whatever will sell records, by becoming just another manufactured, packaged boyband aimed at young girls. yet another load of chart rubbish we can thank x factor for.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 6)
Comment number 7.
At 31st Oct 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Whoa that a bit of a rant kutox1 :p Though I pretty much agree lol.
I think Diana and Ruth need to release their albums. Those two have real talent.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 7)
Comment number 8.
At 31st Oct 2009, kutox wrote:well, the truth had to be said :) it's just a shame that no-one in the music world seems to have the balls to speak up about it.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 8)
Comment number 9.
At 31st Oct 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Kutox1, me and you are going to be friends! I despise JLS too, let's set up a JLS hate site lol!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 9)
Comment number 10.
At 1st Nov 2009, kutox wrote:yeah great idea lol ;) nah i don't hate them personally, they seem like decent lads, but i just can't stand the ludicrous amount of hype, radioplay and promotion they are constantly getting, it's almost completely unavoidable.
and why? someone please tell me what's so amazing and unique about them that warrants it all? they've only had 2 songs, which are both just average cheesy pop records. it just proves they are living off the x factor hype. how else would they be getting all these gigs? and how else would Beat Again (and probably EIL too) get to no.1?
i could say so much more but i'll stop there!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 10)
Comment number 11.
At 1st Nov 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Haha, I don't really hate them either! They seemed like decent lads on The X-Factor but ever since they've just been releasing cheesy pop records and showing off their bodies at every chance they get! I think they've become incredibly big headed with their fame!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 11)
Comment number 12.
At 1st Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:I do vomit a little bit, into my mouth, every time I hear the intro to this.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 12)
Comment number 13.
At 2nd Nov 2009, harrythedog10 wrote:Does anyone else think it would be nice to have a number one that's not to do with X-Factor this week?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 13)
Comment number 14.
At 2nd Nov 2009, RandomEnigma wrote:Ditto, harrythedog10!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 14)
Comment number 15.
At 3rd Nov 2009, Dave wrote:Finally I've found like-minded people! I want to know how X Factor and all its equally pants predecessors have managed to infiltrate every corner of the chart! Cheryl Cole, whilst incredibly hot has managed to get to number 1 in both charts via whatever "music" based reality style gameshow Girl's Aloud were spawned from, we've got JLS releasing their own god-awful, makes-you-want-to-puncture-your-own-eardrums crap. Alexandra Burke is currently bringing out her own pop/r'n'b hybrid and no doubt Leona Lewis will be back soon to bore us all with yet another "ballad" while people keep going on about her "amazing voice" and not about her lack of personality or her similarity to fellow amazingly annoying ballader (It's a word!) Mariah Carey.
I'm getting close to the point where if someone told me I had to watch X Factor or go through water torture I'd have to think about it for a while.
All I'm saying is, someone stop letting Simon Cowell make programmes! It's all his fault!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 15)
Comment number 16.
At 3rd Nov 2009, kutox wrote:yeah my hate for JLS is more to do with hating x factor in general, but i still can't stand them.
what really p*sses me off is how Cowell blatantly uses the show to give almost every single contestant from the show their own 'comeback' appearance on x factor, with the sole purpose of sponging sales from the gullible viewers of the show - whether they have won the show or not (i.e. Rhydian, Same Difference).
anyway, this is a nice little group here isn't it? :)
Complain about this comment (Comment number 16)
Comment number 17.
At 3rd Nov 2009, Dave wrote:We are a nice bunch of friendly people ain't we kutox lol. I'd like to think we're speaking out for the majority of the nation but its probably more likely that I'm just a bit grumpy.
You're totally right about the 10 year olds though, I think we need more people with a clue about decent music working in places like HMV, then when they come in to buy rubbish music, they can be banned until their taste improves and this evil is purged from our airwaves. Same with iTunes, if anyone works for them, put some sort of error message on there when people try to buy any X Factor related tripe that says "Apologies, this song is currently too awful to be heard by humans, please pick something else".
Complain about this comment (Comment number 17)
Comment number 18.
At 3rd Nov 2009, harrythedog10 wrote:replying to post 15. Leona Lewis has got a new song out called 'Happy' it's nothing special but you can probably find it on Youtube. Sadly it's pretty much guaranteed to get to number 1, but in my opinion there are rarely any good number 1's.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 18)
Comment number 19.
At 4th Nov 2009, CurtainJerker wrote:Remember that episode of Friends, where at the beginning bit before the opening titles they walked into Central Perk and there was a group of people on the sofa? That's kind of what this thread is like.
(Fraser, I guess that makes you Gunther?)
Complain about this comment (Comment number 19)
Comment number 20.
At 4th Nov 2009, Fraser McAlpine - wrote:No way. I'm Martha Kauffman!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 20)
Comment number 21.
At 8th Nov 2009, Steve Timmins wrote:Why do most singers use this word called love, when there are other words in the dictionary?
THE ! GROOVY ! GROUP ! ®
Complain about this comment (Comment number 21)
Comment number 22.
At 10th Nov 2009, CurtainJerker wrote:Probably because the other words aren't relevant to what they're singing about, Steve. Since they want all the people in love to put their hands up, substituting the word "love" with "jeans", "Macedonia", "jail", "therapy", "advertising" or "flames" isn't really going to do the job, now is it?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 22)
Comment number 23.
At 16th Nov 2009, Dave wrote:See post 15 of mine
"I want to know how X Factor and all its equally pants predecessors have managed to infiltrate every corner of the chart!"
Now read a quote from Calvin Harris about his stage invasion on X Factor the other night
"If you look at music it's a frightening stranglehold that Simon Cowell has over the got over the entire music chart in the UK at the moment."
Someone else agrees! Yay! Granted, he puts it slightly more eloquently than I do but still, more people need to think like this for the sake of Britain's credibility when it comes to new artists.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 23)
Comment number 24.
At 17th Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:I guess he's also referring to the fact that the last 5 week's number ones have all sang on X Factor. It indirectly influences charts with artists appearing on it. Then factor in that songs sun by contestants often rechart, X Factor (and thus Mr. Cowell) does affect the charts greatly.
I chuffin love X Factor though.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 24)
Comment number 25.
At 18th Nov 2009, susan wrote:hiya
i think jls r soooooooooo fit
Complain about this comment (Comment number 25)
Comment number 26.
At 18th Nov 2009, BloggingLiam wrote:Great input there.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 26)