OH WHY DO I ALWAYS ?
I am rubbish at negotiation, I always ask too little and offer too much and then spend the rest of the time hating myself and everyone else involved. It's just the fight you see, I cannot be bothered with it. All that extra time and effort to shave a bit off this or make a bit more on that. The problem is though that if someone does get one over on you then it does take a long time to stop letting this bother you.
Well maybe not all the time. Maybe only when you've let too much go. I suppose the better one gets at things, the more finely tuned one becomes and the less it takes to knock one off course. The stiller the pond the smaller the pebble has to be to cause a ripple.
I think this is true with life in general. As one gets older your quality control becomes a much more focused, highly honed detection device. It's obvious things aren't going to work out a lot quicker than it used to be. My goodness me, one can save so much bother, don't you think ?
Do you remember the first time that you realised saying no was a problem and in a vain attempt to be liked you always ended up saying yes? Usually resulting in us having to say an eleventh hour no, causing much more trouble than an early no would ever have done.
This happens so frequently that we then learn that it's much more useful to everyone for us to say no in the beginning. I thought once I'd mastered this skill then life would tale on a whole new freedom but of course it did not..
After you've said no for a while, you think you can then let the odd yes slip in, almost like you've earned it ("oh what harm will it do ? That sort of thing) i.e. if someone knocks on the door for long enough you're bound to answer it.
This is a big mistake. Never answer the door!
The ideal position one has to work one's self into, is to not be in a situation where you may have to say no or yes at all. Real friends don't ask those sort of questions, real friends don't put you in that position and even if they did, you wouldn't notice because they are your real friends and you wouldn't mind. Real friends don't ask for things, real friends don't make you feel bad when you don't do what they want.
Learning to say no is alright but learning to stay away from the request people is the real answer.
And what about this for a negotiation tool.
If they need an answer today, tell them the answer's no.
I love that (MICHAEL GRADE, by the way)
Show's rocking... tonight we have an expert on lying. Honest !
x.
P.S. Ok I get the point about the house and the wife thing all in one week. I'll just stick to the house. In reference to finding a house being a life change, I think not, it's just a house, I'd be happy in a tree, or out of it, as I have often been. l like looking at houses and seeing as i've just sold mine, I do actually need another one...
P.P.S. The entry before this wasn't finshed, someone rang me whilst I was in the middle of it and I panicked and pressed send. D'oh !
P.P.P.S. I'm in a great mood, don't worry, I'm just saying what I think.
P.P.P.P. S. You can keep your tractor !
P.P.P.P.P.S. The Zahir did come up roses in the end. Take it all back, hats off to The big P..
Comments
Crikey.....
That was a bit deep Christoph... I was looking forward to your usual colourfull play on life and what happens....
Was the break as good as you said it was?
Time to change something?
Anyway looking forward to getting the podcast as I cant listen everyday which is annoying me severly!
ta da!
Goodness,
that was exceptionally deep. What prompted that?
We need more informatiob, so we can advise you beter.
Courgette hugs
jbear
Getting a bit Zen Chris? - Tho' I must admit that saying No can be hard - I think that it all boils down to not wanting to hurt peoples feelings - so certain 'undersirable' types take advantage of the 'nice' people.
That said, real friends don't ask - then again normally they don't have to - thats what friends do - help each other without constant requests - but if for some reason you can't help - they understand and don't bear grudges.
I suppose thats the measure of friendship - not having to ask for someting, and not complaining (or putting forward the guilt trip) when you say no.
just out of curiosity how many proposals have you had since declaring your looking for a wife?!!!!xx
Hey Chris and fellow bloggers!
Well, blimey, that was a bit deep, but then it all turned out ok because you went back to normal in your PS!
I think the saying no/saying yes thing is borne out of confusion when we're young. Our parents/guardians/mentors/teachers teach us that we should be good and say "yes" and comply with everyone's wishes of us. And then, as we're hitting our teens and wanting to say "yes" to other influences, our parents start getting "parenty" on us and tell us to just say "no"! How on earth are we supposed to get our heads round this conundrum?! I've just turned forty and I stlll can't work it out. Hey ho!
As for your house, will you be finding one with a fab garden where you can grow your fruit and veggies? If you are, I've rather overdone it on the bulb and seeds front, so I could send you some if you like?!!!
Take care, happy Tuesday everyone
xxx
Mmm, I can relate the whole saying no problem. I'm afraid of people not liking me, so I don't say no - simple really - but can cause a whole lot of problems!
How about a tree house? :)
Glad you are back!
I on the other hand have had to learn to say "Yes" more often. I think that comes from being a parent to a 13-year old. "No" is an automatic reflex: "NO, you cannot stay out past curfew!"; "NO, you cannot skip school today!"; "NO, I am not going to up your weekly allowance...again!"; "No..."; "No..."; etc. My students are the same "No, I will not give you more time to work on a paper assigned 3 months ago!"; "No, I will not change your grade from a B to an A just because you think you 'deserve' it!" and on and on it goes...
So I really have to force myself to be open to an occasional "yes"...but that is the key isn't it? To allow oneself to be open and vulnerable? Scary.
Well another finance meeting bites the dust.... another set of figures neatly lined up in rows and columns ... actions placed to make sure, that next month, the numbers look better! What does a good number look like? I sometimes wonder ......... .....
Chris ......Mmmmmwah! .......... you sound like you need a hug ....... negotiation ....... not an easy skill to master....I never will..... I'm way too "soft" ........in business you have to be quite hard nosed about things....... as most negotiations are about how much of your cash....well.....your company/organisation....... is going to have part with. Beware the pretty face in business!
It's a different story when it's "personal", when perhaps you're negotiating for time as well as money but when it's "friends" there is no negotiation required , if you find yourself trying to justify expense or time or even why you've changed your mind, where friends are concerned, then it's time to think about what that relationship really is. To have good friends you need to be a good friend, that makes you and your friends better people. Friends take it on the chin, then they get up and ask how they can help.
I was seeing a guy a while back....we lived miles and miles apart......a very wealthy chap....... he had plans for us...... he lived alone and didn't need to work........ I phoned him everyday on my mobile and we'd talk for about an hour each morning.... quite often longer than that... it went on for well over a year........ one day.... I left my mobile at home , so I couldn't ring him...... not a problem I thought, he'll ring me at work........ no call in the morning...... I e-mailed him....... no call in the afternoon....... no e-mail reply............I got home.... phoned him up ........ where have you been he said, I've been worried sick all day ..... but you have my work number yes........ I e-mailed you..... oh yes he said, I have your work number but it's way too expensive to use my phone or go on the internet during the day................ Not that worried then............
That was the last conversation we had.
Keep smiling
Rachel
x
MMM...
negotiaton on houses just find the one you want and get it say i want this for my old one and this for the new one and stick with it.
otherwise all very profound.
afternoon chirs and fellow Bloggers by the way!
right thats me off to listen to the BIG SHOW(wrighty) then tune in for the show @5:05
cheers
dave
If you keep saying No people will stop asking.
Wasnt it Mark Twain that said you should never say no to anything? Or was that Mae West!
Rachel I totally get whatyouare saying aboutwork. At the moment I am tryingto reconcile and to be honest I just dont care about itenough to do it well! As soon as I start my mind wanders to food, life, love........well pretty much anything other than those numbers on the page!
I often ask myself how I ended up in this job! To easy to stay I think, what did happen to the girl that did everything she was afriad og hey!!!
em25xx
Blimey.
You are on such a journey. You appear to be increasingly emotionally literate.
It is fasinating to watch you evolve.
(I have always liked you - I always thought you were very generous - even in your TFI days, when you were perhaps more aggressively forging your career. What I liked was how you made stars out of ordinary people - something you still do today. The questions you ask of your listeners show a real interest in others)
Chris
I think the important thing is to be honest with yourself and stick to it. Then if you say yes or no, that's just the way it is, no need to explain - you own your opinion or choice, whatever it is. You don't even need to be consistent if you don't want to. You can say yes to something today that you'd say no to tomorrow, as long as you're not hurting anyone and are happy with the way you live.
Love the blogs, thought provoking, optimistic and not heavy. Like the best sort of chats on a night out.
S
So my contribution to the previous blog is lost forever then?
Finding your dream house is the best thing. We should be moving at the end of the month into my idea house - garden, room for a conservatory and enough bedrooms for step-kids and any future family. And it was a bargain! I like looking at houses too - my problem is that I like them all!!!
With ref to the first part of the blog - it's all well and good you saying no, but when your better half says yes on behalf of the two of you, it causes problems!!
Waiting for 5pm
Alison xx
i see what you mean chris people used to walk over a friend of mine all the time, can you take my kids to school , well if your going can you pick them up too, while your in tescos.....it went on and on i used to mad with her they really did take the p word. . so best friend and all i felt duty bound to help so i put a note by her phone, and it said ....can i get back to you tomorrow, im really busy is there anyone else you can ask, and i cant help today sorry.... and if all else say no! but there is no point of doing anything for someone that wouldnt do it for you, but it is hard when your on the spot!!!
therepy for today...............
barb
Perhaps best to say YES to the good things and NO to the bad ones. Hard to judge the difference though.... If you never say YES you miss out on a whole lot of fun, even if it doesn't sound like fun to start with. Friends, I trust, don't ask you to do things that aren't worthwhile at the end of the day, but don't fall out with you - they understand if you have to say no sometimes. They don't USE you.
Mind you, Paul Coleho was hot on 'The Bank of Favours' in The Zahir, wasn't he? But he stressed the importance of not getting into debt in that system - put in as much as you take out.
With negotiations I often find that I've made an idiot of myself because someone else has made a whole load more out of the deal than I have... But then I think, well I got what I asked for, or agreed to, so what does it matter if they then added something more on for themselves? Just take it as it comes and move on.
If you don't make mistakes, you never learn anything!
Love to and admiration of all of you from me
xx
Hi Chris and fellow bloggers,
I do sympathise with you and understand what you are going through.
Negotiation can be difficult, and many people handle it poorly, causing frustration and ill-feeling. There are constructive ways to approach negotiation, and techniques to achieve good outcomes. For example if you are a manager, you may need to handle negotiation positively. (I would not imagine this is a problem in the ´óÏó´«Ã½) If you encourage people to adopt a constructive approach to negotiation, you will help to minimise upset and to achieve a positive outcome. As a manager dealing with negotiation or a pay increase request, it's important to encourage a grown-up, objective, emotionally mature approach. So all you need to learn is how to say no with a smile on your face and with a little sympathy.
Chris if you use this as a template for your own negotiations in life how can things saying no wrong?
Now all I need to do is what I say and I will take my own life back ;-)
Regards
Keith
phew - just re-read today's blog with the extra bit at the end!
I'd much rather have a no response rather than a yes which I know won't happen - had one too many "no show" yeses from a very charming (but extremeley unreliable) gent.
Having said that I have decided to say YES to more this year.....I'm heading downhill toward 40 and am determined that life will start before I get there!
mackiexx
Hey!
Have just had a little mull over the negotiation issue and the fact that we all get a bit cross when we feel we've given more than we need to. But, if we want a material/emotional thing so much, we'll give what we think it's worth, don't we? Or maybe that's just me .....!
Take care
xxx
"To believe in one's dreams is to spend all of one's life asleep" - Chinese proverb
Freaky. My colleague and I were just talking this morning about not being the ones to always say 'yes' and dive in to solve all of the problems.
We both feel fed up with being put upon when this morning we agreed that to say no upfront and take control, is far more healthly for all concerned (though we knew there would be a breaking in period for others who are used to affable ole us!)
Glad you're back and it was good to see the scholgheads keeping things afloat whilst you were away.
Bye! Take care all,
C x
Hi Chris
I have been a fan of yours since the Big Breakfast so i thought it was about time i posted something on here. I agree with what you say if you say no then you look like the bad guy and it is hard especially if someone knows your a weak character they will put pressure on you until you crack. Do you really read every post? its great to read your blog. miss you on the telly take care
simon
Is it just the fight you can't be bothered with or are you also over generous? Thats my problem....always happy to give.
Although having said that, I am currently in negotiations with a nasty little so and so and you know what, I know what I want and am not about to back down. This worm is a turning!
Children and negotiation.......don't even get me started!!
Back to show and at 7pm possibly a continuation of last nights hockey
Well Hi Chris, have been meaning to post a comment for ages so have decided to DO IT. No more putting things off! All of this must be something to do with being another one hitting the big 4-0 this year - wasnt '66 a fabulous year (not just for the football!).
It's weird reading your thoughts today about how and when to say no, have been talking to one of the girls in my office all day about the very thing - why is it that some people are always the ones people ask things of and expect things of? Do they/I give off a signal?
I agree with one of the other comments, I am one of those people who wants approval so hates to say no to anyone - and then resents them for asking and myself for not being stronger!
And another thought, why is it that when you're younger you think you'll have everything sorted by the time you're grown up and then when you hit 40 you realise there are more questions than answers...love the programme, Chris and the blog is a great idea.
Keep smiling - keep searching - life's all about the journey - so I'm told !!!
Cate xx
I'm surprised that no-one has yet mentioned the name of Danny Wallace. He, after all, wrote an entire book based on the premise of saying yes more often. I'm mid way through it myself, so don't anyone dare tell me the ending.
I find that using yes and no randomly and interchangeably satisifies most of the time. It not only saves me having to make any decisions but also guarantees that your life will take on a more interesting slant and that people will find you more intriguing. Admittedly it can cause confusion if no follows yes follows no follows yes, ad infinitum so I've come up with a simple algorithm. For the love of humanity I will now share it with you......
Repeat
If Yes:=3 (and) No:=0 then
Make
No=3 (and) Yes=:0
Until
Rand()>0.7 then
Run!
I hope this helps
J McC
Hiya Chris,
So you are talking wishing you were young again and all the wild things you did, but then you look back and thinking thankgod I have done all that.
Or you are waking up in the morning thinking I can't be bothered, but what motivates you?
Then you might be lying to yourself. joking..
Mark
Hi Chris,
Great to hear you back on your show.
Tsk I am hopeless at saying 'no' hence I now have to work all day tomorrow to cover for someone else! grrrrrrrr
Today I have discovered a product which does as it says on the bottle! (you know the kinda thing.. whiter teeth, stronger nails, younger skin etc.) well I was treated to a Salon 'mositerising shampoo and conditioner for dry and frizzy hair'
well it really works..though of course dry and frizzy wasn't quite the look I was after!!...sigh
Bev x
Hi all
Someone once said to me that "saying no to someone is saying yes to Lisa" Its a good mantra when I find myself thinking about saying yes to something I don't really want to do!
Lx
Thanks for the blog tonight! Made a lot of sense to me.
Now there’s a surprise I would have counted on Chris enjoying a spot of negotiation. It’s a bit like a game of poker I think. The seller has one rate in mind and the buyer needs to guess what his bottom line is without insulting the seller too much. I reckon you can count on roughly three separate mini negotiations to seal an agreement so saying no to ‘I need an answer today’ is sound advice. You need thinking time between each round as you size up your opponent. Sometimes you lose out but every time you learn something new about how someone else works. Frustrating sometimes but always fun I think.
On holidays: I’ve taken several mini breaks this year instead of one long one and visited a number of European cities. I have an idea that we must somehow need a blast of city life if we live in the country and vice versa. Wonder why? I spent years city living and craved the countryside. Now I live in the country and I miss the good things about city life. How do you get a happy medium?
Loved the slot on languages tonight…. I’m debating whether to up to two classes this year. Italian again of course because it’s just gorgeous to hear and maybe one more continuation language. Hmmm maybe two simultaneously studied as a ‘mature’ student might just scramble my brains too much. You’ve got to keep trying new stuff though life’s too dull without a challenge…I’m also contemplating rock climbing.
The way I look at it, if there is no reason to say "no", then maybe the answer should be "yes".
But.. if there is no reason to say "no" but you really don't want to say "yes" then you can always pretend you didn't hear the question! After all, you are not obliged to respond to everything.
Treat such requests as you would junk mail.
A bit like when people ring you up from India or some far flung place & try to sell you something, I love it... I say, "just wait a minute someone is at the door" then leave them on the line for about 15 mins till they hang up!
Someone at the door, not a problem, you are only the plumber, TV repairman, or burglar! The owner isn't home.
Works a treat guys, try it & get your own back.
Chris.....I think you are the younger, ginger, male version of me.....Van Morrison is the only person I would put on a guest list.....
Hello Chris, bloggers and shloggers,
The request people eh! Yr right but it takes time to sort them out. Tis indeed a deep Christophe today...glad we got the fluffy PS's. Its true too real friends dont use or apply the guilt scenario, its a good way to be too.
I am particularly crap at asking for pay rises. (just thought i'd chuck that in). As for the rest of it, if i want to do it and dont mind then i do it. If i don't i don't. (I'm 52 now and I no longer feel the need to be nice if it gives me a bad feeling.)
CE, When you see the house you want, think how much you'd be happy paying for it then stick with that, do not listen to flattery and, take out all the long words they use. Translate into plain english. Also, another foible of mine, if the agent has bad breath, dirty nails and unpolished shoes; one or all, go some where else!
Enjoy your evening constitutional...I went to Dublin for the first time in July and the guiness was great.
Have a good evening peoples x.
Hi Chris & others,
This is the 1st time i've blogged - didnt even know what a blog was till a month ago! Am such a techno phobe, sorry!!
I work away, so miss alot of the shows but it is great to have you back! Enjoyed to golf while you were away, though! Well done Europe!
I Jumped in the car at 'bout 6.45pm and caught the tale end of who would you like to be firends with? Top choice in Van!!
I work for an airline and alot of years ago I carried Chris and Danny Baker. from Chicago to London after they'd been away interviewing The Stones.
Alot of the crew thought you would be a bit drunken and leary (clearly a case of mistaken identity!!) but in fact you were a good laugh and very polite. It was great chatting to you and if I hadn't been working I would have enjoyed a drink with you too!!
My hubby is golfer and I've always thought, since this meeting, that we'd get on! Seeing as though you are looking for wife at the moment, maybe a few hostee's might come in handy!!
Big hugs Weezie xxxxx
More years ago than i care to remember, a college lecturer commented on my inability to say "No" with the following observation "well the only good thing about you feeling bad about saying no all the time is you MUST have a good sex life". Now with the years passing, Ive finally become ok with saying no. Like you say , the people who REALLY get you and care for you dont mind hearing "no", and if they arent in that group, whats the problem? And sex - well so long as I dont forget to say YES then, its not a problem :-)
Very deep - but very apt.
I do a lot of work as a freelance sound engineer and production manager to suplement my income while being a full time student. It's very easy to say yes when someone says "oh, could you just do this for me" or comes to you with something that sounds very interesting and exciting.
It's always important to focus on your priorities and stick to your choices rather than trying to do too much - if you do you won't enjoy any of it!
Good to have you back for the drive home! Do you think you could talk to the bods at radio 4 and ask them to move their schedule back by 30 minutes so I can catch all of your show and Just a Minute on Mondays?
Hello dear... maybe you're broody... nibbling... looking for wife... house... telling the truth etc... it's all part of 'growing up' (in inverted commas)...you talked about lying (telling fibs) tonight... & it brought back a memory of me lying through my back teeth for a friend of mine... we were both married to Italians... Venetians in fact... & they really do think they can walk on water... which in a way they do... anyway she is Italian... Veronese... & I'm English... our husbands were dealers in a casino... The Bahamas in the 70's... anyway she was having a thing with an American, pale blue Jeep driving schoolteacher... small island... & she got found out... my husband & hers interrogated me for what seemed like hours... is she... has she... she's already admitted it... you can tell us... etc. etc. etc.. I stuck up for her... when her husband confronted her she just admitted it immediately... can you imagine I was made out to be the biggest liar under the sun... absolute nightmare... I think twice about telling fibs now...we are no longer married to Italian's... she's living on a Greek Island & still keeps in touch with the gorgeous Jeep driver... happy memories... learning languages can be easy... you just have to live with it on a daily basis... albeit via headphones... stay cool.
That's sexy stuff JMcC.
Dx
Dear Christopher,
Listening on the way home from work tonight, and heard you say 'mange tout, mange tout' to a lady that took part in your show.
Well a few years ago my friends Terry, Shirley, hubby Alun and I had gone to partake in some alcoholic beverages, and came up with a silly game of trying to think of french adaptations to everyday words, such as:-
Chamois leather (in a french accent)
Cami Knickers (again in a french accent) and even 'eli copterr' sounded brilliant at the end of the night. This became a silly game between us for ages - made us laugh like loons.
Great fun, great friends, great times. Just sad now that we've lost touch. Just goes to show that you can have fun whatever you're up to as long as the company is good.
So try it next time you're on the radio - say 'chamois leatherrrrr' - I'll know then that you've read my comment.
Lots of love - you're great
Myra from Anglesey. xx
Hi again Chris
Myra here.
Sorry I've just twigged onto what the blog is for -(not just for random comments but as a thread on from your thoughts. Menopausal brain I'm afraid).
I'm very much a yes person, even though I don't want to be.
I'm just too much of a wuss to say no as often as I want to, then I end up feeling resentful - stupid really.
I should really just be a grown-up and say no, instead of wanting everyone to think 'oh she's a great girl (woman) that one'. Just do it automatically.
I reckon it's after being bullied at school,when I found out that the way not to be bullied was to agree to do things even if I didn't want to.
It got the bullies off my back, but has stayed with me into adulthood. This is quite cathartic really - I'll be psychoanalysing myself at this rate.
I now work for a very worthwhile company - in a job which is very stressful, but which I enjoy, but still find myself saying yes to almost everything. S T U P I D.
One day, when I've won the lottery - I'll say no to everyone - just because I can.
At least I'm not nasty to anyone, and try to treat everyone as I want to be treated myself. Doesn't always work, but I know that I've tried.
Will listen tomorrow on the way home from work.
Will look forward to your next missive.
Pob lwc
Myra
Chris, there are givers and takers in this life, and you're definately a giver, and thats good. So what if you can't deliver all the time, at least you give things a try. People love you for it, so don't give yourself a hard time. Not trying to give you an ego boost, but you come across as being a warm and generous person, and funny too. Keep up the good work, the show is great, all the girls in the day surgey unit at the Manchester Royal Infirmary drive home listen to you and think you are wonderful!
Have a lovely day, hope the weather down there is better than the awful rain we've been getting.
Take care
Andrea.x
Saying No is so difficult, but so important. Try I need to think about that as a response to closed questions if tempted to say yes immediately. Works for me.
Thanks for the upbeat and challenging end to each working day as I drive home Chris. Hope you find yours soon, C x
Well, hmmmph.
Just been on to read the entries posted since I left my entry this afternoon - and I can't find mine! Have I been so controversial that my entry can't be posted??? Mr (or Mrs) Blog Editor - where is it????? On the other hand, was it so boring that it can't be posted? Think I prefer the former....
Glad you updated the Blog Chris, I feel much happier now - wasn't able to listen to the whole show tonight; storming headache that started with bad posture and I'm sure would have resulted in bad temper, forced me to take to my bed. But did catch the lying guy - excellent! You really do have the most wonderful guests. The lying thing fascinates me because I have an inbuilt lie detector, which has become very finely tuned over the last few years. Take my ex for example, I'd know he was lying because he'd open his mouth (hahaha) and if I challenged him, he's become quite offensive, so vigorous was his defence - 'the lady doth protest...' I do agree with your expert though (is he a failed/retired spert??) white lies do help the world go round and as long as they don't hurt anyone, they're fine.
Love and hugs to all xxxx
P.S. Very glad you've decided not to search for a wife just yet Chris, you'll never find one if you look!
P.P.S. I am fed up as I promised to talk to someone special online tonight and I woke up too late - grrrrrrrr - that'll learn me...
P.P.P.S Missing my virtual snogs :-(
Regardless of my last comment. One real challenge to anyones negotiating skills is trying to negotiete with teenagers....take my son for example... PLEASE
Any suggestions. Love em but can't negotiate with them,
Cx
Hey all
First time on blog. Listened to show today driving home from Aberdeen in pouring rain, but sunshine in the car. Too late for me to contemplate the art of negotiation - bed beckons. Later x
Havinng mentioned earlier that this was the 1st time i'd blogged, thought I better read sum of the previous stuff.
Its taken me all night to read the stuff while Chris was away, but what a laugh I've had.
You guys are great thanks especially to Rachel (blue angel) your website is fab - you are far too young!, Dot, Ju, Gill, Tess, DWNB and Keith (AKA Geroff!!). Your blogs have made me howl, better than the telly anyday!
Am away for a few days - back on Friday - so will take me a while to catch up again, but enjoy the fab radio show at 5pm and keep blogging so I know whats been happening in the world when I get back!
Big hugs Weezie zzz
I do enjoy the blog however some of the replies are somewhat concerning. Poor Wezzie for example carried Chris Evans and Danny Baker all the way back from Chicago. Blue Angel Racheal.... well Bunny Boiler springs to mind.
Do some people take themselves too serious?
I would have to say yes to that one.
ok, so was Sally asking for more air time? Or was it Foxy? Can't see that nice chappy with the locker asking for much more. He seems to have everything he wants!
Chin Up Christof. Say what you want...... and how you want it.
DWNB
Hey Sammie @ 43, I too left a blog yesterday and it's not appeared. Nothing controversial in it's content. There were already a dozen or so when I posted mine and they've gone too.
Must be a tech thang.
Dx
Hi all, My 1st time on the blog
I`d just like to say to Chris and all the team what a fanastic show, it keeps me amused and my spirits up while I`m driving the truck up and down the country, especially during rush hour while I`m trying to avoid the numpty drivers who try and fit a 8 foot car in a 9 foot gap between 2 trucks while trying to exit the motorway at the last minute. Or drivers who drive at 50 miles an hour then accelerates as they realise theres a truck trying to overtake
Re: OH WHY DO I ALWAYS ?
Had you been out on the beers?
HI CHRIS, MY HUBBY IS A LOT LIKE U CANT SAY NO TO ME, HE MAKES ME SMILE STILL AFTER 27 YRS, SO DO U! COULD HAVE WATCHED U ALL THE WAY ROUND AT THE GOLF AND I DONT NO THE FIRST THING ABOUT IT, I SMILED BECAUSE U WERE ENJOYING YOURSELF AND WATCHED FOR THE SAME REASON, BRING BACK PROGRAMS THAT DO THAT?
had a good start to the morning reading all the blogs on this one!
mmmm saying no it is very hard!
I think it is always worse with work - being self employed I need to keep the momentum going to keep working to earn some money! However, sometimes we get the chance of jobs which you just know are gonna turn out to be a right pain in the arse! for a while things were so tight we were taking every job which came our way, we were burnt up, too busy and not seeing ourkids and stressed with the awful jobs.
Last year we organised ourselves - decided to not accept some jobs (conservatories in particular) and started to try to organise work in batches, survey only every few months to give us the time to work on a project, give the client all of our artistic output and give them a great design and put up our fees! Work is still busy and we are still a bit stressed but the jobs are more interesting and the client (we hope) gets a better design at the end of the day. LH is keen to go for every job we get a phone call for (he desperately wants to chuck in the full time work and join me in our wee soon to be new office but the lincome won't sustain the mortgage repayments as yet)! Hopefully in 5 year time! It's not perfect but much better than the last couple of years - we are working at it!
Saying no - I think it is a healthy part of growing up! but it takes courage to do and must be done for the right reasons - not to be nasty! gd friends will understand it and those who don't are not worth the bother.
Keep up the good work Chris - off to listen to last nights show as I only caught first 45 mins due to other things and noisy children!
Builders back today - hooray! must try to organise a phot when it's done
Love Dot.
PS - if you want a new house/extension to your house/granny flat/loft conversion - employ an architect!!!
PPS - but don't let two of them design their own! (but it will be cool when it's done)
dear chris
re your blogg - saying no -
i always used to say yes in order to please people but since i am getting older i am not so quick to say yes.
i hate saying no but i am getting better at it. i am becoming more selfish which isn't good but if you say yes to everything you end up having no time to do what you want to do
i like to do what i want to do and this does get in the way as i find it hard to compromise - it has only happened in the last few years but everybody else does it so why should i?
i will say yes to things which help others in need!
people think if you aren't married and don't have children that you are able to say yes and drop everything!
it is horrible when you feel you are letting someone down but i try not to ask people for favours so that i just look after number 1.
it sounds horrible but something just clicked and i don't think i will go back to being a softie and saying yes to everyone!
love julie x
Some sage points there Chris. I agree that life is too short to spend all your time negotiating for every deal & every penny. I have a friend who haggles over EVERY purchase he makes, just for the pleasure he gets out of doing the deal - driver everyone up the wall!
Another point re your message, I was interested who many times you referred to yourself in the first person as "one" as in "as ONE gets older" etc. Not going to get all posh and lose your man of the people charm I hope!!
Jordie
deep and meaningful - just what we have come to expect but make sure you do!!! Do a little - if everyone did a little it would be a lot and could snowball from there.
listening to the show this morning as I missed last nights due to Brownie runs and other asscoiated mumsie things! I amthe only one who reads the blog the next day - I never got a chance yesterday! But what is fab about 'listen again' is you can fast forward over that irritaing Irish band with the singer with the whiney voice who's name I don't know but who sang 'big sur' and I can't stand them (in the bin with EJ)!
Tuesday - busy day - lots of work to get through, get quote out, draw up and design a job, kids home, help with homework, cook tea, do Rainbows, see client tonight, home, bed!
Have a thoughtful Tuesday everyone. If anyone gets a cream cake dedicate it to me cos I saw a photo of myself last night and thought who's that fat wummin! aaagh it's me!
Love Dot.
Chris
Every Friday when it's either race weekend for MotoGP or British Superbikes I try to get you to play "Motor-biking" by Chris Spedding for my bike racing friends and even though I have got through to the guy who answers the phone, he never ever rings me back!!!
This coming Friday I'll try again and will probably be unsuccessful yet again, so I would like to ask you on your Blog if you will please play "Motor-biking" for my friends Keith Amor who will be racing for Scotland on the Isle of Man and also James Ellison racing down in Oz in MotoGP and his brother Dean who will be racing at Silverstone in British Superbikes.
Please wish them all a safe weekend of racing Chris.
Thanks very much
SylviaB x
Welcome back Chris...Did you know that I have sent you many many texts and e mails to ask you if you would say Hello and Good Luck to Motogp competitor James Ellison and Bsb Competitor Dean Ellison a safe and successful week end. James is in Australia and Dean at Silverstone ....from all your Family and friends in Kendal and Scotland.........................and good luck to all motorsport competitors who are competing for their country..