THERAPY THE FINAL FRONTIER.
Who are we? Why do we exist? Procreation or recreation? My goodness me, 拢120 an hour for this.
Ever had therapy?
Did it help?
I had it for six weeks once at the behest of my first wife鈥
鈥 looked in the yellow pages and I came across a woman鈥檚 name, I went to see her and the first thing she said was that I should take my shoes off.
I did so and then we had a chat. The first chat was for free, 鈥渢o see if we got on.鈥 We did and then at the end of this first chat, she gave me a massive hug.
鈥淲hy did you choose me?鈥 she asked.
鈥淏ecause you were a woman,鈥 I said.
鈥淲ell, I have to tell you something, You are my first ever male client, I don鈥檛 normally do men.鈥
We got on like a house on fire, I cried and I talked and I felt the waterfalls of emotion flowing from a place deep within, like never before. Thoughts and words took on their own existence, I was merely the conduit, the floodgates were definitely were open. It was wonderful.
I now have a psychoanalyst right now here next to me. However she is saying she is a phenomenological existentialist, bloody hell, what is she on ? The ninth year at uni is what, apparently..
She, herself has just cancelled her own therapy. Too hung over and still 鈥渆l dodge鈥 in the brain department.
拢120 a time and not a wizard in sight.
Deepak Chopra where are you when we need you ?
All therapists need therapists, all people need people, isn鈥檛 it the same thing ?
The essence of therapy is to entirely tell the truth, the empty page is ready to be written on and you hold the pen.
It鈥檚 forced thinking and contemplation. People will always be f$%^&*d up, so the therapist will always be able to earn a shilling.
If I were to visit a therapist now, where on earth would I start ? It doesn鈥檛 even bare thinking about but I鈥檇 probably begin with鈥.
Comments
Morning all
I'd love to have therapy, bot because I think I need it but rather to have had the experience. I always thought therapy to be quite a selfish thing to do, it must give you a space and time to entirely dedicate yourself to - well - yourself. When else in our busy modern day lives do we have the chance to focus entirely on ourselves. I certainly don't have the time to do so and I suspect that not many other people do either.
Also it gives you the chance to talk about yourself for an hour at a time - when else are you ever going to find someone willing to listen to you prattle on about your problems for an hour? OK, so you have to pay them for it but they still listen - or have they perfected the art of sitting still and nodding in the right places all the while they're in their own little world of private thought?
On a different note I have just realised the foolishness of having to travel due east in the morning and due west at night - today I very nearly rear ended someone on the motorway as I couldn't see their brake lights due to the blinding suns rays, and at night, when the sun goes down it's the same, maybe I should leave earlier, when it's still dark to alleviate the retinal pain? Or look for another job where I have to travel west in the morning?
Anyhoo, real life calling me again, don't you just hate it when that happens!
:o) Jo
Will be interesting to hear what Tim nice but dim has to say about the NHS today, everyone has an opinion about that
good morning christophe.
wow am i the 1st? i haven't had therepy. i did think about it when i was first diagnosed wher m.e but instead i started a diary. i would write everything down and that helped alot. and now my own blog which also is really helpful.
and the good thing is a diary only costs a few pond a year!!
take care chirstophe and will read again tomorrow
Therapy - is it a good idea? I think my friends are my therapists. They are there for me and I for them in all situations. They pick me up and dust me down everytime I fall but they can't seem to answer the perential question I ask What do I keep doing wrong with men?
So if I were to go to a therapist that would be the question I would ask. I think it would be best posed to a man to get that illusive male perspective. Why oh why do men fall in love with me almost on the first date, shower me with praise , make me feel like a million dollars, promise me the earth and then take it all away? I do wear my heart on my sleeve - Mum is always telling me to be more guarded - but then if I was that wouldn't be me would it. I would not be true to myself or the person I was with if I covered up and hid my feelings deep inside.
So what do I want in life and is it this that ultimately scares them away? I want to meet someone who makes me happy, who makes me laugh, who I can share my hopes and dreams with and in return, for them to share theirs with me. I want to feel warm inside when I look at my partner from the tips of my toes to the ends of the hair on my head. I want to cuddle and love and be loved totally for everything I do even when I am stupid and daft, drunk or sad and even in my moments of genius which are few and far between but have been known to happen on occasion! For goodness knows that is what I have to offer.
Good god - this feels like a therapy session in itself!!
I look not for material posessions, I earn my own money and am independent - but I do long for a family, I try hard not to speak of the five year plan that so many men run away from with the dust flying from their heels but secretly want to be married! I wonder if I shall ever meet the man with whom I can be an equal? In this suposed age of equality I think we are further away from it than ever before.
Ahhrrrggg!!!
Anyway - Not wishing to part with 拢120 per session I shall continue my search without therapy instead relying on my family and friends to help me through the next time I get dropped from a height with no reason or explaination. Failing that I shall blog - I feel much happier now having vented my spleen!
Good luck to all
H x
Morning Christophe
Had therapy once, forced to go by the ex, heart wasn't it in so didn't go back for the follow up -looking back, probably should have done, would be more sorted now if I had !.
Agree with the driving thing - I too nearly totalled mine this morning
As the song goes "Things can only get better"
Fondly
Lashers x
Chris, absolutely love this blog. Your enthusiasm for life is really contagious - I find myself being almost cheerful after reading your blog entry each day! On the subject of therapy - well, it may be a good thing for some people but my own opinion is - you may just open a can of worms you could do without. Better, I think, to work through your demons on your own, if you can. My deeply missed late dad used to say "Don't think too much, all you get from it is a sore head"!
A GOOD MORNING TO YOU MR E ive just had a strange dream , i wasnt asleep and my wife had just left a cuppa on the side of the bed for me and then i must have just nodded off again ..almost straight away, i went into a dream ,,, we were on a hillside somewhere with a guide telling us to follow him , my kids were there and my 3 yorkies and it got so foggy that i thought we were lost .i wanted to go back but the giude said no follow me but stay together ...woke up then to to the sound of my wife saying she was taking the kids to school..only 5 mins had gone ? well anyway going to the docs now to have my ingrowing toenail removed ....bak to work tomorrow so ill blog at the normal time have a good day fellow bloggers. think about my toenail all alone in the docs just as MR E plays his 1st tune today bye
Good morning all.
Therapy... interesting thought for the day Chris. I get my therapy at a fairly cheap cost... bottle of wine and a call to my oldest and dearest friend... who has a bottle of wine at the other end of the phone hundreds of miles away... we share all our thoughts, misdemeanors, etc. It gets especially interesing if we choose to delve into the second bottle... then the whole world is put to rights... thoroughly enjoyable, cathartic and not to mention early morning head ache inducing!
Have a gread Wednesday
Suzanne x
cant say ive ever thought i needed therapy, my doctor told me i needed therapy once because i was neurotic, (i believed that my son was autistic.) so off i went like a good little girl to see the nice lady, spent six months seeing her every week, until they diagnosed my son with AUTISM so i wasnt barmy after all, although i may be now, or will be if he keeps posting his toast into the video recorder, thank god (if there is 1) for schools, now there s some people who must need therapy, teachers,
Hello one and all,
I've had counselling on and off for well about... 4 years. wow I鈥檝e never thought about it like that!
I鈥檇 recommend it completely.
I was able to go when I wanted (or some times when they recommended) some times once a week, some times not for a few months.
Its completely cathartic and totally beneficial. Ok, some times it can be irritating while they wait for you to understand what you鈥檝e been talking about and understand the path that your leading your self on. But I鈥檝e become such a better person through it!
拢120!!!! Good grief Chris! Thankfully mine have all been through uni or the wonderful NHS (although not wonderful while you wait to see them!) I mean it took me 3 months to see the gent I see now. And it was possibly some of the worst 3 months I鈥檝e had!
Oh well getting better now!
I agree totally Chris, people need to talk and until we learn to accept each others faults and not criticize people for a weakness that they can not help (I鈥檓 not talking about the seriously mentally unstable foke out there) but people need understanding and comfort!
Oh I don鈥檛 know. I just hope people were no longer looked down upon because they need that bit more support.
Hmm glum now :(
Hi Chris and Fellow Blog Readers - Therapy is good, whether it be professional, a close friend, or even someone you don't know very well but who is a good listener. Failing any of those people being available or affordable, a dog is wonderful therapy, long walks in the countryside, tell your dog all your hopes, fears and worries. When you come back you will feel fantastic. It works! ;0) KC
Morning Bloggers and Schloggers
So who is on your couch?
I will admit to having a spell in therapy following my diagnosis with cancer. I knew I had a problem but my mind could not deal with which one was causing me the most issues. There was me, my wife, kids, parents, brothers, sisters and not forgetting work colleagues. I did not need or want pity but at times I needed to talk. My problem was who to talk to.
I was offered and chose to talk to a councillor who gave me some very good skills to deal with anxiety not only due to the affects of dealing with cancer but for use in every day situations. Those tools will be invaluable to me next week when I see my consultant again to check on my progress鈥︹︹︹︹.20 minuets in a waiting room can seem a very long time and again my life will flash before my eyes waiting for my name to be called out 鈥︹︹︹.after 10 minuets with the doc, I just know that I will cry whether the news is good or bad. It has helped me and I am a better person for it I am sure. I am calmer and having lived through a very tough time for not only me but everyone who knows me I have a different outlook on life. I see people getting upset about things and just smile as I think to myself you are fine if that is all you have to worry about! I am given strength that for all of my worries there is always someone worse of than me who I can and do feel sorry for.
So I guess the therapy was good for me as I took from it what I needed and did not go looking for it to solve the cancer for me. It has given me a better outlook on life and because of it I think I am a better parent, boss and more importantly to me a better person. If you asked me is it right for everyone I would have to say no as I find it a little like marmite鈥︹.you either love it or hate it! 飦
Wishing you all a very happy and therapeutic day :-)
Keith
x
Hi Chris
Some may consider your blog or fine show to be a form of therapy - you can express your thoughts and feelings to others (as long as you dont mention sky plus) and experience a form of release.
Therapy doesnt have to be structured it can be talking to your best friend or writing down how you're feeling. I think its always important to have some me time every day! Mine usually is the train journey and the drive home from the station with of course your show to keep me company!
Keeo up the good work, enjoy the therapy and give enzo a pat from me
Ella x
Good morning all
This is the first time I have looked at your blog and the first time I have ever written in one. The reason I looked at it today is because Chris Evans was in my dream last night!! I did not actually get to speak to you, but everywhere I went there you were talking to other people and when I tried to get close up you moved on!! When I read your blog this morning it was quite uncanny because I have recently been thinking of having some sort of therapy. My husband of 16 years (and the first and only love of my life) has recently left me for someone else and I am totally lost and feel that I need someone/something to guide me as to what do to in the next phase of my life. I have even thought of going to a medium to try to contact my Nanny Grace to ask her to tell me what to do!!! But then this made me think that I may need to pop down to the local psychiatric ward and have myself committed. Does therapy really help or does it just make you think about things that you might have been better off forgetting?? I dont think there is any right or wrong answer to that but I do now feel a bit better for telling you all my thoughts.
I have therapy. I love it. Talking to a stranger about your innermost thoughts, fears, desires, and having an objective response to those - it works for me. My lovely therapist has made me realise that it's ok to feel the way I feel (sometimes I beat myself up about stuff) - if you're feeling a bit iffy I would HIGHLY recommend it. Friends are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but a good therapist will get you to examine your feelings/actions in a way that you may never have thought of before.
Prob doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me. In fact I'm seeing mine at lunchtime - I'll let you know if I have any relevations about myself!!! Have a great day all :-)
xxxxxxxxx
I had therapy a couple of times; once when my sister got killed and once when I just went nuts and turned into an evil monster.
My experience is that it can be very useful in that it is wonderful to be so entirely self-indulgent. Even with your friends, it is very rare that you can have an entirely one-sided conversation. And you can end up learning things about yourself, or picking up tips as to how to best dodge the vicissitudes of life.
However, a lot depends upon who you are talking to. One bloke I saw was excellent: really thoughtfuly, insightful, encouraging. However, I have also seen someone who, with hindsight, was jsut a complete waste of my time. To be honest, I knew that at the time but just thought that as the first time had helped, so would the second. It doesn't work like that.
So by all means do it, but do it with your eyes open. It's very easy to put a plate on your door and charge people money for sitting on your sofa, but that doesn't automatically mean that they can do it. And what suits one person may be inappropriate for someone else.
Just finished reading the blogs after blogging myself and wanted to add :
Gemma 25 - don't feel glum. Hopefully there is much more of a positive attitude towards the millions of us that need a bit of help now and then - and the more of us that admit it, the less stigmatised we'll be.
Big'Un - I love your posts - you sound like a lovely, thoughtful, wonderful man. My therapy has also definitely made me a better parent - being a single parent to a teenaged girl has been a struggle at times but we are so much happier now.
I hope you've beaten your cancer.
Love to all. xxxxx
.....I really don't know how to start.... I think I'm a nice enough person with a great deal to offer but seem to spend my life eternally single.
Well that's how I'd start, though I'm not sure I like the thought of where it might lead.
I decided a while back that I enjoyed listening to other people (freinds in general) and trying to help them see their problems with a new perspective . In fact I put a few of my mates lives "back together" after nasty break up's with partners. I even got told by them that I should charge for my services. So I went and studied with Paul McKenna and his mentor Richard Bandler so I could become better at what I was doing. For a while thinking that this might be a new direction in my life.
Funny how it's always easier to listen to someone elses problems than deal with your own isn't it?
Maybe I'll just stick to selling land and listening to my mates....
Happy Wednesday to all
Lynda
-x-x-
Post 11! The Big Un, or may I call you Keith! All the very best of good luck for next week! KC ;0) aka Jeannie x ps How true what you say about people getting worked up or upset about things, when really you have to think to yourself, you are fine, if that's all you have to worry about. Although I knew this in my heart of hearts, it is good when someone points it out, and I am going to carry this in my mind all day. It is a beautiful October day here in Bonnie Scotland, and a good thought to keep with me!
One more blog and then I really will go and do some work. Just wanted to add, if anyone feels like they need to talk, but is worried about the expense of therapy or the NHS waiting lists for it, you can always call Samaritans. They are there for anyone who needs a bit of emotional support, 24/7. They won't offer any advice, but they will listen and hopefully help you put things in perspective a bit. xxxx
Happy hump day!
This is my first posting and am pretty pleased to be joining in.
Personally, I think everybody would benefit so much from a little therapy, but it has a bit of a negative stigma attached to it that most would scoff at the idea. I've never had any professional myself but think I鈥檇 probably like to try. Was actually offered it once after a death in the family but turned it down鈥 kind of wished I鈥檇 given it a go now. The idea of letting it all out to an impartial stranger sounds very appealing! I can't think of any reason why it would be negative but can think of lots why it would be very positive! Maybe there should be a 'talk to a stranger' day where everybody could mull things over with somebody outside of there everyday life? Who knows.
Interesting to read other peoples experiences with therapy. It鈥檚 encouraging that so many people can actively recommend it.
Anyway, I hope the sun is shinning wherever you are. It鈥檚 glorious here!
Hi Bloggers.
Do we think Chris randomly wrote this today?
Or was inspired by Jane Moore's column in the Sun about Billie, she reckons Christophe would be the perfect therapist?????
People appear to me in my car when I'm stressed. What do you think is wrong?
Save your money and go on one of those Alpha courses I keep being advertised. A friend of mine went on one and hasn't stop smiling since....
Have managed to duck out of real life for a little while!
Andy O @ 20 - I bloody love the idea of 'Talk to a stranger day', it could be a bigger (equally as good) idea as 'Cycle Train' (probably more achievable. Maybe we should all donate an hour of our time to go and listen to someone we don't know, just to give a different perspective on their problems. Being a nosey kind of person I would love this (does curious sound better?), but would hate to have to give advice for fear of it being completely wrong and random.
Maybe all the years at university just give you the training on what types of advice to give? Or how to get people to think that you are giving them advice when you are really allowing them the time and space to work out their own problems?
:o) Jo
The developed world needs therapists - I blame the train, the car, and all forms of transport. In the `old days` people used to live in communities, families and relatives where close by, people knew one another. Finding a partner was easy, finding a soul mate was easy and like in Crocodile Dundee you told your problems to someone in the community, they told everyone, who understood, then the problems was gone?! Or is it we have always needed to fight our own gremlins, worries, the ones that make us different, unique and by visiting a therapist we come to terms with them or realise we are not unique. John Cleese had therapy, even wrote a book about it, then he married a therapist, ummm what does that say? A lot of demons, uniqueness, a mind so busy with thoughts that they torture you constantly, who knows? But I know it鈥檚 good to talk鈥 a chat with my sister about a problem, that鈥檚 the cost of a phone call and does work. Sometimes we have so much baggage in our minds that it鈥檚 too much to offload on a relative or friend, so we pay a therapist to listen to it all. I went to a therapist once for my confidence, he鈥檇 wire my finger up with a stress meter and then with my eyes closed we鈥檇 talk. Then he said, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 worrying you now?鈥 I said, 鈥渢he cost of visiting you鈥!鈥 I have to say it didn鈥檛 work.
Keep talking, or should that be conversing and preferably not with yourself; share your thoughts, a little each day, like these blogs - perhaps a 21st century form of therapy?
has therapy any definition? Is one person's therapy another person's poision? I don't know I seek therapy in so many different ways, a good run, yoga, counting my blessings, appreciating life.
Done the procreating, now enjoying the recreating!
This blogging is a bit addictive, do I need therapy?
Have a nice day all
Christopher - thank you for providing something to think about each day x
Good morning bloggers!
I highly recommend therapy. I disagree with those who say talking to good friends is the same. Quite simply, it isn't. A therapist is trained to help you see the whole picture in your life, to peel back those layers as uncomfortable and distasteful as that may be. Friends however, won't reliably hold that necessary mirror up to our face because they have an agenda: to remain our friend. There a things they won't say or perhaps can't even see because of their relationship with us and desire to protect self. A professional has no such agenda. It is no skin off their backs if their client is angry, upset, crying...they don't care about preserving a friendship. As a result you are more likely to get to the real issues.
Anyway, have a great day!
Amanda
I saw a therapist a few years ago after a particularly traumatic split with my then partner of 23 years.
However no 拢120 per hour for me,Oh no mine was on the good old NHS and I was being treated under the Mental Health Act. After a couple of visits we had discussed what I already knew was the answer to my troubled little pea-sized brain, I was overcome with rage, at myself, how could I possibly allow someones actions to have such a devastating effect on me.
Once this boulder sized penny finally dropped I was able to sort myself out and stopped seeing the therapist, changed jobs, bought my ex out of the house and have met the most wonderful man imaginable.
Sorry I seem to have waffled on for ages, in short, if people find therapy works, good for them, if it doesn't maybe you had the answers all along.
Good luck, Take care
Hi Guys,
Gosh this is all a bit deep for a Wednesday...
I think therapy can definitely help some people, the trouble is accessing it, someone close to me recently committed suicide waiting for an NHS appointment. We will never know whether the therapy would have eased her troubled and fragile mind, 20 years of mental anguish would not have been fixable overnight but she had finally asked for help and then waited on a list for over a year before life just got too much to bear. Those who loved her had done their best but it just wasn't enough.
I guess we all need to look out for each other more so that only those people who really need expert therapy are in the system.
Hi Chris and all
Did you ever get the answer to why we exist Chris? If two people hadn't cooperated for long enough, I wouldn't be here. So procreation and cooperation is why we exist : ) I exist for other people. My son needs me and my husband needed me to create him. My actions not only have an impact on me but on each and every person I know. In my small way I am shaping the universe just by being me. But I need other people to cooperate, otherwise there is no cause and effect. Okay, I'm rambling now!
I've thought about therapy. But I could never just choose a therapist out of the Yellow Pages. I can't imagine ever letting my guard down to someone I didn't like. So if I could just choose someone that I thought I could open up to, then yes, I would do it. I've encountered many people who have impacted my life in such a positive way, it would be great to have a one to one with them and receive guidance from them. It's not something you can just ask for is it? Pity!
Lx
First time blogger..so be gentle with me.
I had therapy after several traumatic years. It really helped to put it all in perspective. I learnt a lot about myself. How my actions directly affect how others treat me. That it's ok to feel upset and angry. It's the way you express that anger that causes the problems.
Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. It just compounds it.
Neither is it a good idea to carry around a lot of baggage. It just gets heavier and heavier with time. And distorted, so that what you thought was the issue...isn't really after all.
I know have most of my baggage safely boxed up and put on the shelf where it needs to be. Occasionally i need to take down that box and re examine the contents.
Sometimes all you need to do is cry. I spent my first session just crying. Men don't generally understand why women like a good weepy film. It lets all of the emotions out. It's good to cry. But it's better to laugh afterwards.
I suppose what i'm trying to say is that therapy is a good thing. It's not for everyone, but it's good to get all of your baggage out in the open and to shelve some of it from time to time.
Take care everyone and smile at least once a day. x
Hi Chris and Chris鈥檚 fans,
Another nice chewy subject for today.
I trained as a homeopath for three years (89-92) and only practice occasionally now. Homeopathy is the only kind of 鈥榯herapy鈥 I have had more than one session of. Powerful stuff. I trained following my 'treatment'.
I was also a Samaritan for 2 years (95-97). Samaritans鈥 counselling training is superb but all we could do was listen. We were forbidden to give any advice at all for obvious reasons. Most calls were from people who were just lonely. It broke my heart to hear the callers every time. So many people and so little love. I used to sit there imagining lots of little bluebirds flying off with white ribbons to the person on the other end of the telephone and then flying around and around their chair wrapping them in the white ribbons of love. This wasn鈥檛 part of the training but visualisation is something I have a firmly held belief in. It certainly didn鈥檛 do any harm. x
I have also trained in Reiki as many people need some hands on or very close to them. I can spot them a mile off. Some people have not had a loving human touch for years and when they do it transforms them and often opens the floodgates to their emotional self. It鈥檚 extremely rewarding. I cannot possibly greet people without a hug and being a singleton I rely on cuddles from people for my own well being! I need that human touch. 3 a day is minimum and that鈥檚 just my colleagues鈥︹. X
拢120 for an hour of therapy seems a bit steep but some therapists are absolute experts in their field and manage to help people who cannot be helped elsewhere. To some this may be worth every penny. However some clients hold the value of money so highly that they would only benefit by paying top dollar.
When I need 鈥榯herapy鈥 now I either call a mate 鈥 I love them all soooooo much! - or meditate. I choose the mate most likely to be able to help. I'm not likely to speak to a non-parent about a parenting issue for instance or a skinny friend about dieting. That's why I keep a broad spectrum of friends! I鈥檓 very happy to say that my mates call me too when in need. It鈥檚 very much a two way thing. Nothing to do with me being 鈥榯rained鈥 at all. I鈥檓 lucky. I don鈥檛 let anything fester and nothing so bad that I couldn鈥檛 talk about it has ever happened to me 鈥 touch wood. x
Tonight I shall share big cuddles with my ma & pa as mum鈥檚 going into hospital tomorrow for a parathyroidectomy (yuk! I need a cuddle NOW - got one!). If I could get a job cuddling I would. It鈥檚 one of the things I鈥檓 best at!
Let Wednesday continue to do it鈥檚 thing and we shall meet again tomorrow. Tatty byes peeps,
XXXXXX Debs XXXXXX
PS Please will you play The Power of Love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood for me this evening? It energises me and I need to be positive for mummy. It's great for driving too. It really won't be the same if I play it for myself. Thanks. x
Hello Christoph and fellow bloggers.....
#11 Big Un - Hope all goes well for you next week, will be thinking of you...
#20 Andy O - I totally agree with you about "talk to a stranger day" but am a little concerned that I might get carted off somewhere where the cardi's do up at the back cos the poor person couldn't cope with all I was trying to tell them!!!!!!
I think we all get days where there is so much jumbling around in your head, you don't know whether to scream, shout, laugh, cry or just hide hoping it will all go away - never had therapy but I do think I would love to talk to someone neutral, and get it all off my chest - (it does feel like a great weight you are carrying around)......but it is good to know that thro blogging we realise we are not alone
Luv to all
Mayhem
xx
Alright everyone afternoon
therapy never had it myself for me you life would have to be going wrong and it may help no idea.
on the show later he's a top entertainer fit as flee yes it can only be Brucie!
and congrats to foxy if i may on to be a mum again didn't she do well!.
well it's been nice to blog to blog nice!
great show laters all
Therapy..Isn't that what this is????
"the empty page is ready to be written on and you hold the pen." [ keyboard]
I think we are there for each other more - we need to recognise where we find people in our lives and let it all breathe out. It just as much a blessing to help as it is to be helped.. isn't it?
So why do we worry about being a burden to others so much?
its all about the process and not the result.
Howdy all.
My ex-wife also asked me to go to therapy. Apparently the act of leaving her was a sign if a deep depression. It wasn't - but that's another story!
Anyway, I went. I met a nice American lady who told me that I wasn't depressed and probably didn't need therpy because of the break up of my marriage. i have always wondered since about the duality of that statement - i.e. you could take from that that I do need therapy for something else!
Anyway onwards and upwards. Pip pip everyone. :)
Given that the large majority of us bloggers seem to have had therapy of one sort or another, it's no wonder that there are so many of them out there.
Most of me is sure that people go into becoming a professional therapist, of wahtever variety, for all the best of reasons. Part of me, though, does get fairly cynical about the process at times. Just because someone wears arran jumpers and sandals doesn't make them any good at being a therapist. But then, I know that a lot of people doing what I do (a lawyer) who aren't that much cop at it. Like anything, try to find someone who comes recommended, I suppose. And be prepared to change if your first stab doesn't work.
I seem to remember having something called metaphor therapy, where I would draw pictures and come up with outlandish descriptions of how I saw my life. Fantastic.
Someone commented that it's just a question of finding out something you already know. Of course it is: the therapist isn't there to give you the answers, but to help you realise them for yourself. Just think how many friends of yours you carry out pop psychology on: she's only staying with him as she's frightened, he really lacks confidence, or whatever. But there is something in the fact that we've all got some issue or another. Phillip Larkin was right.
Hi everyone
I haven't had therapy yet in my life but would never discount it. Amanda #27 what you said makes perfect sense.
I know this is a different area but when my lovely mum was showing early signs of dementia and it was a very difficult time for us all. I was trying to get her some help and some more care. She had to be assessed and a geriatric psychologist came to talk to her and was utterly brilliant, she asked exactly the right questions and just really understood everything she and we were going through. Afterwards I said to her, "I don't know how my mum feels now but even though I am crying I feel absolutely incredible. Thank you, thank you so much."
My mum is now 92, and living in the most wonderful home, she is registered blind but is a ray of sunshine, always laughing and singing. I love her to bits. x
Lots of positive thoughts to Keith #11
Therapy to me is a bit like religion - if it helps people then fine. But neither are for me, that is just my personal opinion.
I'd rather spend 拢120 in a decent restaurant with some friends - and discussing issues, thoughts, ideas, why's and wherefore's etc.
I'm a hardy person (Kobasa) and don't really get down. And when I do, I pick myself up really quickly. Unless I'm surpressing everything (Freud).
Life is too short to be worrying and wondering why. Keep busy, stimulated and most important allow time for having a laugh.
Hi C and all....
A rainy day here in Toronto.....
Soooooooo.....therapy - I have to tell you, without my therapist, I think I would be in a rubber room rocking backwards and forwards!!! Yes, it is great to unload on friends, but it is not the same. I have recommended my therapist to a few friends but I find some people are afraid. I think because once you see a therapist, usually the flood gates do open and some people just cannot handle it so they keep it all inside. Going to my therapist was the best thing I ever did. I am divorced and she has helped me so much with my kids, my ex and of course me!!! It is not easy spilling your guts, so to speak, but it is worth every penny.
I have to tell you, the first visit is extremely hard and I did try a few before finding the right one but well worth the effort!!
Have a great day everyone....
cya
Joannie
xxx
Like the song by Johnny Cash: "Flesh and Blood needs Flesh and Blood"
hello Christophe
I had therapy - it's not scary, I had a really nasty car accident and was terrified about cars and particularly brake lights. Slightly inconvient when your job involves lots of driving. I went to see a lovely man who did CBT or cognitive behaviour therapy. It involved me visualising braking cars and then him tapping on my hands. It sounds bizarre and it probably was - but it changed my life. I know quite happily whizz around in my little car, still wary of all the other lunatics on the road but without being quite convinced that everyone has it in for me.
Also, top tip - should you ever get hit by an uninsured illegal immigrant in a car with no MOT, fake plates and no driving licence - even if you pride yourself on being ladylike - just smack him in the chops, it's the only restitution you'll ever get because the police will bail him and he'll disappear into the ether............. Meanwhile you'll lose all your no claims and be so traumatised you have to have therapy.
Still c'est la vie, could have been sooooo much worse,
Happy afternoon, I'm off to take my friends 8 month old baby swimming.......
Kathryn x
Afternoon All.
Call me odd, but the thought of unloading to a complete stranger freaks me out!!
My therapy are my 3 cats and my darling horse.... oh yes, and my partner!!!!
My animals helped me through some really bad times before I met my now partner.
Animals show unconditional love, and show far more patience and understanding than a human, despite them being paid 拢120 per hour.
But there, just my humble opinion................
Laters Peeps
Melanie C
My boss paid for my therapy - so what does that say! Found it very self-indulgent sitting talking about myself for an hour, also feels like you go round and round in circles. The therapist said I was working stuff through - I thought she just wanted the money!
Find a wee glass of wine and a chat with your chums works much better. At least they tell you when you are being a tube.
Good afternoon all
It is I, McCrumble, blogging once again from a secret location with a fast internet connection. Not much to do around here except read other people's blogs and drink tea prepared by Ravel. I'm missing my wife, Dolores, very much. She is all alone back at the Institute, being looked after by her mother. I am slightly worried about that aspect of things, as her mother has fingers lighter than a helium filled baloon, and I didn't have time to lock away all my valuables before she arrived.
Anyways, enough maudlin. I must confess that I've never had the urge to go into therapy. There is something about it that has always puzzled me. For instance, what is the difference between a therapist and someone who simply empathises with what you are saying? Empathy costs nothing, yet a weekly dose of therapy costs more than a season ticket to Twickenham and Arsenal combined - which are also forms of therapy, are they not?
Being a parastologist, I am somewhat straitjacketed by my objectiveness. Sometimes, however, I find it both therapuetic and cathartic to turn my brain to more artistic pursuits. My modest attempts at art are all viewable at my online gallery:
A hypothesis stemming from my artistic endeavours is that therapy can be acheived by regularly doing something new. For example, someone frustrated by their mundane 9-5 call centre job could try their hand at being a weekend warden at a nature park. The more engaging the activity, the more the benefit.
J McC
(This comment was brought to you by McCrumble on the Couch - counselling for the modern blogger)
Hi Chris & All
First I need to give a big hug (((hug))) to Debs (#32) - hope that cuddle keeps you going for a bit.
I've never had 'professional' therapy but as many others do I believe that you can receive therapy of others such as friends, relatives and sometimes even strangers so I guess that in my lifetime I've had plenty of therapy. I feel that I'm lucky in that I'm a natural born chatterer so in the end everything comes out, sometimes I may ponder over stuff myself before divulging it to a trusted other but other times I think I spill all of a problem before I've wholly realised that there was a problem there to start off with. I do feel that I am a good listener as well though and this is especially true at the moment as I am listening and occasionally advising a close relative who for one reason and another being given a lot of torment.
I know that I would love to receive hypnotherapy but I don't know what for - I would just love to be hypnotised and regressed, I just have this nagging worry with it though that if I was I may come out with more problems than I went in with.
Natalie (#13) - I do believe that you were meant to read this page today and that is why your dream was so 'chris focussed'. Maybe you do need to speak to someone either in a professional way or even to speak honestly and openly to a friend or loved one to try and come to terms with what has gone on in your life.
hEL cRUSE (#22) - I don't think there is anything wrong, I believe in Guardian Angels and maybe this is something to do with what you are seeing. As long as they are there to help you in some way then there is nothing at all wrong with that, you should feel blessed to have them with you.
Right that's me out of here, thanks for some good thought provoking stuff - have a good afternoon everyone.
Hear you at 5 Chris
Katie
x
Hello Bloggers
Needing therapy? You could try the NHS, but you`ll wait a long time and it may not be the ticket you need when you get thier. I contacted MIND, the national organisation for mental health. They put me in touch with local organisations that offer free and low pay counceling, right here and now. Never be affraid to ask for help from what ever organisation that may be relavent and use all the tools available.
Keep well
Interesting blog from Chris, great comments from the shloggers, and all seem to be true - some for some, others for others. What is Truth? Different for everyone.
This is Hump Day, and climbing our personal hill seems to be a good therapy, and clears the cobwebs away, whether we reach the summit alone, with a friend, or with a therapist.
For me the answers most often come when I sit alone in a quiet place and empty my head, and am open to God/The Spirit/Creator/Life/Buddha - whatever you choose to call that source of strength and light. Sometimes, though, the penny drops in reading something, or when listening to other people's experiences, as in this blog.
In any situation there are always at least two ways to react to it (one of the themes of Paulo Coelho's book, 'The Alchemist'), one negative and one positive. Go for the positive one!
Love and hugs xxxx Jill
P.S. Big 'Un/Keith - send you love and strength for the doctor's appointment, you're a great inspiration
Andy O - Talking to strangers is great isn't it, and listening to them. So often you find yourself telling each other loads that you wouldn't say to close friends!
Hello All,
Are you having a Wednesday Dip Chris? That's when I start to contemplate things....
Therapy - I've had it - apparently I am a type A personality and the ever increasing stress I find myself under is predominately due to me! Not a good thing to tell a type A - "you're a failure because you're you!"
I bottle things up - in the 'olden days' they called it having a 'stiff upper lip', these days I am pitied for stoically going about my business in the face of the adversity that is/was a shocking marriage.
Everyone should talk - it's really scary taking the first step and bearing all to someone, they don't have to be a therapist - a friend is just as good.
If I had talked earlier about the way things were, I may not have wasted as many years on a man who clearly had neither love nor respect for me. Not talking makes it easier not to think about it...
"It's good to talk."
Have a Wonderful Wednesday
XX.
Now then Mr Evans.
Thinking some more...
You don't need therapy what you need is a good woman. Someone of equal intelligence, equal in fun, equal in respect and of course equal in love.
Someone who you feel secure and comforted with. Someone who you can talk to, walk your dog with, cuddle up with etc etc etc. Someone who also gets you going, excites you.
And - don't think about the past, don't keep talking about your ex with your new partner - move on. Maybe it's more difficult with being in the public eye?
Life is tough, but get on with it. Spend your 拢120/hour wisely.
Hi
I only had time to read a bit of the comments today so forgive me if someone has already said this.
Friends are not good therapists as they only tell you what you want to hear. Also how can you discuss them in the sessions with out the risk they will tell all their friends or judge you.
The therapy session is more than just telling the truth is knowing it will go no further and you will not be judged. Well unless you are are likely to cause harm to yourself or others.
The only snag is the very high cost there should be more of them to drive down the prices.
By for now
Nick C
Yep i've had therapy. A wonderful experience - dispite all the tears! You do get to sort so much out and learn how to cope/deal with things in life - that your past may effect in some way. Very enlightening. Would recommend it to anyone. And definately a best mate is just like your very own therapist. Love Flo
I think if I could afford to, I would definitely have therapy, I have so many unresolved issues I need to deal with and I think it would be easier if I had a bit of expert advice.
I buy every self help book going but sometimes I just feel so down but I don't like to inflict my misery on others. I've got a lot to be happy about in my life, but the clouds are always looming. How do other bloggers deal with those dark days when all you feel like doing is hiding yourself away?
I don't get the impression that Chris is depressive by nature; he seems to have a very positive outlook. I think a lot of the damage is done when we are children, but some of it's genetic.
Em xx
Hi Chris, yeah had therapy after my marriage went tip top and all it made me do was cry buckets and make everyone miserable! Brought up loads of stuff I had wanted to forget from childhood etc. Anyway, you have just cheered me up and also perhaps my ex hubby..playing the Boss!!!! A good thing to come out of us being together, we saw him live!!!! Great show, bit more Green Day would be appreciated (old stuff) but hey what about Hootie and the Blowfish????? Greeeeat!!! Love ya loads, x Sarah xxxx
Hi guys,
why not sign up for a counselling course? i did last year thinking i was going to learn about other people and STUFF. you'd be surprised by what you learn about yourself and STUFF.
it was a part time evening course and did the job and you feel like you're doing something useful by learning, it's not as daunting as therapy and i met some fabbo people.
have a good evening you lot
C xx
Hi Christopher,
Been off on holiday so just catching up with the blog. Never been to therapy, don't think I need it, especially when you have good friends who you can talk to and their free!
Hope you are ok, your final paragraphy made me think you were abit down today or thinking about something that made you upset.
Looking forward to hearing you on the drive home tonight, extra speacial day for me today it's my birthday last of the twenty's!!!!
Take care
Hi Christopher,
Just back from holidays and thought I would read the blog. Never had therapy, don't think I need it?! I can just go to my friends and chat their free!
Hope you are ok, the last paragraphy made me think you were abit down or thinking about something sad?
Today is a special day, it's my birthday last one of the twenty's dohhh! Off out tonight for an Itilian hope you are ok, looking forward to hearing you on the way home.
Cheers,
V
Hi Chris top show.
Therapy! Wot are you bangin on about? if you have the option and more importantly the funds to go and have therapy you have the problem right there, Money the be all and end all of almost everything in life, Dont have enough money become depressed go see a therapist oh i for got no money you cant do that, got loads of money go see a therapist cos you dont no wot to do with it all and its makin your head spin, guilt from all the needy people in the world and so on. Best policy ever, Good old fashioned get on with it be open enough with your close friends and you will save yourself thousandas on fees there is nothing like a good old heart to heart with a close pal (even better if your both half sozzled).
Hi Chris top show.
Therapy! Wot are you bangin on about? if you have the option and more importantly the funds to go and have therapy you have the problem right there, Money the be all and end all of almost everything in life, Dont have enough money become depressed go see a therapist oh i for got no money you cant do that, got loads of money go see a therapist cos you dont no wot to do with it all and its makin your head spin, guilt from all the needy people in the world and so on. Best policy ever, Good old fashioned get on with it be open enough with your close friends and you will save yourself thousandas on fees there is nothing like a good old heart to heart with a close pal (even better if your both half sozzled).
Don't even start me on therapy! Months of weekly, expensive therapy taught me nothing more than what my friends had been telling me for years - my ex husband is a w~#king piece of sh*t and the day he walked out on me was the happiest day of my life.
Although I still have down days as I'm still single (although not celibate) four years later and working hard to bring up my two girls and hold down a good job I do not turn to therapy I confide in my lovely amazing friends and that's all the therapy I need..................
Receipe for Enzo - courtesy of Bullies in Need - rehoming for Bull Terriers UK
BRIAN's TUNA BROWNIES
3 170g cans of flaked tuna in water (drained)
3 large eggs
2 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoons garlic flakes
Slowly add the flour to the other ingredients, and mix until the
mixture is dough like, and comes away from the sides of the bowl.
Continue kneading until the mixture is an even consistency. Pat into a
1/2" layer in a floured 10" x 10" baking tin. Use your own hands not
paws o' bull terrier although they insist on helping at this point.
Bake at 130C (275F) for 35 minutes. Humans must remove hot cookie
sheet from oven, a bully with oven mitts is impressive but there is
method in their madness. You must allow brownies to cool.... BEFORE
sampling. It is also good idea to remove potential tripping obstacles
from kitchen as they are quite capable of getting the entire tray all
at once if they bump you ever so slightly.
Turn out of the cookie sheet onto a cutting board, and slice into 1/2"
squares. Use a knife. Do not let anybully convince you that teeth
will expertly perform the same operation.
Keep enough brownies for 1 week in the fridge, and store the rest
locked in the freezer. Bullies have been known to do night time
icebox raids and blame it on the cats.
Therapy is something I would dread. Telling a stranger about all my inner fears and secrets. Lying on a couch feeling all stiff and awkard.
No not for me.
When I feel down I just look around and think what a wondeful world we live in.
Sadly in life we meet people who can be either be control freeks or cause us to have doubts about ourself at times.
You have to be strong and have belief in yourself. No one else will really.
Always do the right thing and you can't go wrong.
Chris
you have got me - a blog virgin - your blog is the first blog I have ever viewed - what a great idea. I only visited the site to see what Foxy looks like. The voice matches the face beautiful! i know what yo look like Chris!
Well maybe I need therapy - my idea of true therapy is hitting the sweet spot with my No.1 driver, straight down the middle.
Hi All
First time I've had a chance to look at theblog since going back to work on Monday. Phew - amazing how wiped out I am!
Therapy. Hmm. Tried it in my early 20's - not very successful, therapists husband had just left her after 27 years and her mother had been run over by a bus! So ending up listening to her, rather than the other way round. Oooops! Think I proabably needed it then - took another 10 years before I felt I had really dealt with things. Yes, friends are great for all the things that are going on in your life, relationship break ups, bad days etc and I don't know how I would manage without them. But.... there are things/experiences/feelings that can't always be discussed with those closest to you. Anyway......I'm a very lucky bunny, and happy!
Bigun - Good luck next week. Lots of positive thoughts to you.
Thanks for the show Chris - you make me smile every day!
Josie xx
i'll keep this brief as i'm upset at the moment
i didn't hear bruce forsyth i can only assume he was on top form
thats all thanks
Are blog's not a type of therapy?
Dizzy
What? What would you begin with?!
Sorry, bit nosey and cheekey for my first blog.
Therapy seems to be more and more popular these days, I have found recently that people I least expected to are having it and those who I thought should, aren't.
I think friends are your therapists and most are much cheaper than 拢120!
Great blog Chris x
I'd have to begin with grief councellling. At various times in my life I have lost a loved one who has died before their time. I started life with 4 brothers and then 2 step brothers, there is only 1 step brother alive now. I didn't have therapy as no one else in the family did, you just hang in there together. Also, I could never have afforded 拢120 an hour....what good is an hour when every day of your life is invaded by pain and a big space where they shouldbe. No, for me family and friends win out evry time, and it takes a long time too to adjust to the fact they (loved ones) are not around, but life goes on. Gone but never forgotten...and you do get on. But you keep a little place inside yu where they stay. (The hardest thing is the struggle against the unfairness of it...difficult not to get bitter, but you must not get bitter because bitterness is like jealousy, it wastes so much time and emotion and it poisons your own ability to get on with your life.)
I have never been seriously ill, not yet anyway, had a small brush with the big C a few years ago but it was nothing. Apparently I am at higher risk of cancer because both my mother and my grandmother succombed to it. Hey ho...hence the over preoccupation with my diet, (y'know, you are what you eat?). However, I am sure that I would have therapy for this as I think I would need pointers in order to respond to my illness in as positive way as possible.
I should probably see a therapist about my need to openly trivialise serious events with humour...sometimes it really is inapropriate...but i guess thats just my way of dealing with mega dramas...till I have come to grips with the hurt inside then i can bring it out into the open. I have one or two close people who are privy to my inner self but it takes years for me to let anyone that close.
Prof Plum (62).. i agree you have to become strong and learn to believe in yourself...that in itself can be a drama and a half.
Dizzy (66)...you may be right...blogging is a type of therapy, gosh I feel better already!
Luvvies x
When are you going to dinner at Number Ten?
Hi Chris
What a great day to have this blog!
Its World Mental Health Day today, and I've had a wonderful day helping out my local Community Mental Health Team and Carer Support Workers, raising awareness of how vital it is to take care of your mental health, and the Carers who save the NHS a fortune.
I have therapy weekly, as I've had to deal with some pretty scarey topics in the last few years which have taken there toll on my life. Its been great to get them out in the open, so I can move on.
I highly recommend it!
Take care of yourself
Bin...x
In sunny Shropshire
I have wanted to comment on your show for ages but never have a pen as you race on with the text number so quickly i miss it. So you can imagine my delight when i saw your blog page - yippee loads of comments hee hee x
Firstly QT brill i often sit on the floor drinking my hot chocolate finding my self shouting at the TV. Shirley williams is brilliant as a public speaker, mainly i think because she is logical in her views and takes no s*&t. I looked at the QT website today and put you forward as a guest hee hee - however ruddy computer didnt work but i will try again! Any other suggestions anyone? i love 2 on the website Jeremy Clarkson or Rowan Atkinson, i would like to see Nelson Mandella i think we could all learn something from him!
Secondly homous - yummy especially with tuna steak, salad and olive ciapatta bread mmmm - my fav especially on a sat night in, with an ice cold bottle of white wine! Try Onion/pepper and sundried tomato homous from Tesco - lush.
Finally Therapy - well where to start - i am a nearly 40 year old single mum just completed her degree in Psychology and i have decided to go into counselling and hopefully go on to do CBTherapy, also doing voluntary work dealing with people with mental health problems once they are back in the community, it is rewarding. When i left my partner i became depressed and having come through this, all i know is that you have to have confidence, self-esteem and believe in yourself and you can do anything you want to and i enjoy trying to install this into others and help them get through their problems. If you want to read a good book read Counselling for Toads, it relates counselling to the book Wind in the willows it is an amusing useful insight into counselling techniques.
Right enough waffling - better do some work - have enjoyed the rant im sure i will do more at some point!
Em x
ps. Stephen Fry is wonderful and very brave for
his show on his illness - an amazing
example to us all.
pps.Walking - always take Hot chocolate
and also JD in the hip flask and when you
do coastal walks look out for the seals.
This is a bit of an strange one ...
As you using my Name to get your subject out
can I ask what is this Therapie thing all about ?
Ella x
I think getting Therapy is a very good thing in this 'button-up' british society. If we sang more...... don't forget those who are elderly are lonley at Xmas. They need cheering up. There is a CD of traditional songs and rhymes just out for Carers of those with Alzheimers, people with dementia, Parkinsons and who have had a Stroke. Sing more with others....it is great therapy and reduces depression.
Take care
Molly XXX
Some Words from a future CBT Therapiest
hello
I read most of the comments in this blog, it is important for me what the generell opinion is about CBT.
I will start my CBT Diploma Course in January 08 than I will go 2 Years to College an become Diploma Psychotherapist. This will cost me alot of time and some money.
i don;t do it to sit in the future in front of a man or a women to do one hour nodding and get a lot of money for it.
First you have to listen to find out...........
120 拢 well may be down in London, genrell is about 拢 40 an hour and I dont want to hug everyone and you can leave your shoes on hey lol.
Serious now, the WHO and the NhS has brought out Statistics, where England will need 10000 Psychologist and Therapist in the next 10 Years, the rate of Suicides are going up and up and up.
Why do you all think this is.............
This type of therapie CBT is a good and quick way to help people, who are suffering from depressions, anxiety, stress, burnoutsyndroms and eating disorder behaves and so on.
We learn the tools to help.
Your feelings are contected to a chemical process in your brain, a good therapie will help you to change this chemicals, sometimes in combination with supporting tabletts( Depression)
The Generell senetence is YOU FEEL WHAT YOU THINK.
I look forward to me future Job and to the people I will meet and work with.
I believe there are easier ways to get money out of people.
Also I believe, thats my opinion, the best Therapiest must come out of hell her or himself , to understand..........
May one Day it will be a normal standard to say hey I went to a therapy and it was good.
In ancient time people like me are been called a sinneater.
I hope I could give some views, how a futureTherapiest is seeing Therapie.
I hug you all now 8)
Susanne