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IT’S NOT HOW MESSY THE KITCHEN IS, IT’S HOW FANTASTIC THE DINNER LOOKS.

Chris Evans | 08:56 UK time, Tuesday, 19 December 2006

No one knows that the plane’s going to crash until the pilot tells them so. That’s a theory I’ve gone with on many an occasion. Then hopefully the pilot can avert disaster with no one any the wiser. Last night’s show was very much like this, the number of times we nearly missed cues and records and reads and callers.

In the old days…

….I would have let each situation get to me, making the next situation worse and worse but now I’ve learnt that having a quick giggle, throwing one’s arms up in the air helplessly as opposed to angrily and remembering why we’re all there in the first place is a far more productive way of dealing with things.

And so another show came to pass and was enjoyed by one and all, god bless ya’.

I loved the PANTO O THE PHONE and I love the KIDS, they are just the best. It’s hard to believe they are the same species as us, they are so cute and genuine, I wonder at what point we stop being like that or do really old people think we’re still cute and genuine, ha ha !

The countdown to Christmas continues and the pressure is quietly building, I can feel it down in the left hand corner of my tummy, slightly back of centre. It’s preparing it’s charge for the line. It must be defeated, stay ahead of it my friends stay ahead of it, for this is the only way.

More yuletide chores pop up every day, new hurdles for the Santa in all of us to address. Today, I have to wrap and then do a double check that the presents I’ve bought everyone will deliver the desired reaction.

We also have to crack on with the show and make it fly for all of you for the last four days. DRIVETIME is such an important part of the day, it sets you up for the time when you are being you, especially at now at Christmas.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! there goes my tummy again.

Thanks for all the positive feed back about S.K. the more I reflect on it the more I think I had a blast. By the way I did indeed meet JANET and she was INDEED a sweetie, the real engine room of the show, along with her trusty assistants . Did you know there are four ways to slice a vegetable depending on the size of the cut:-

1. Julienne
2. Baton
3. Forgotten
4. Forgotten
Ha ha ha !

I also once had a row with a French chef about the fact that the French have four cuts to a filet, whereas we only have one. The monsieur said he wasn’t aware of this fact, more than a little worrying I thought, seeing as he also owned a restaurant. My argument once again faltered slightly as I couldn’t remember the name of the four cuts though I am still certain I was right.

The sun is once again streaming through my bedroom window and lighting up the corridor through to the kitchen like it’s on fire.

Enzo is ready for his walk, I’m ready for my first meeting, two Comic Relief producers are coming round to talk about WHISTLE IDOL, and it seems it’s a goer.

Tonight is the last meeting of 2006 for THE ONCE A MONTH CLUB, though as of yet I haven’t heard a whisper from the other two members, maybe they’ve forgotten !

I’m off now, please feel free to fill in any gaps this missive may have left as it often does.

Come on Enzo time for walkies !

x.

Comments

  1. At 09:10 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    the various veg cuts you refer to are

    Julienne (thin batons)
    Macedoine (small cubes)
    Jardiniere (even thinner strips)
    Brunoise (tiny dice about 1mm)
    ALso Paysanne (small sliced shapes)

    re - the fillet. If you are talking about a beef fillet you've got (from the thick end...)
    Chateaubriand
    Fillet Steaks
    Tournedos
    Mignon

    Hope that helps to fill in your gaps old fruit!

  2. At 09:28 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Jax wrote:

    Morning all,

    Thank you for the best wishes from those who have sent them - and to those who haven't.
    I'd like to wish you all (CLP, MWK, Jillygoat, Hazel Love, Joannie, BigUn, Dissing Dave, Em, ChrissieS, Tracey-Anne, Lynne, Cathmel, Moose, Big’un, Gaby, SusanS, Dissing Dave, DWNB, Cath, J McC, ChrissieS, Cheryl, lyndyloo, Susan, Matt from Rudgwick and anyone who 'knows me') a wonderful festive season and a very Happy New Year and I hope that 2007 brings you all everything you wish for.....
    (Tracey-ann - a special thought for you - may you enjoy your festive season and I hope that each day brings you more strength x)

    I'm only in work tomorrow so I don't know after that how often I will get to see the blog. Believe me when I say I will make every effort to 'check in' each day but cannot make any promises. I'll miss you!

    I'm a bit stuck as to what to do over Christmas - I'm celebrating it with my parents but my (ex?) boyfriend has decided to stay on his own - he is unwelcome at my parents house and has refused to go to his family - the guilt of him being on his own is horrendous. I will have to make an effort spend some time with him but I hope he stays offf the drink - he's abstained for 4 days but I don't hold out much hope. Still at least this time he didn't have a seizure which he did last time because he didn't have a drink for 2 days - terrible what alcohol can do in it's extreme.

  3. At 09:30 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Moring Morning Morning !

    I was always taught Baton, Julienne, Brunoise and Chiffonade .....

    SK was indeed fab. I have never watched SK before so have nothing to compare but thought it was fab none the less. Am I biased ?!?!

    Joannie - GOOD LUCK with your interview today :)

    Will pop back in a bit

    Good Tuesdays one and all x x x

  4. At 09:36 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Gloria wrote:

    Good morning Chris and all:

    I didn't get time to post a comment yesterday but I really wanted to say how brilliant SK was, and created for me a bit of an oasis in the weekend with the outlaws in Essex.

    This is the first time in a good few years that we're spending Christmas at home (normally run away abroad to avoid it) and I'm quite surprised to be looking forward to it! I'm sure it's mainly due to all the enthusiasm generated in your show and all the good feelings that come out of this blog.

    Normally I'm a 'Bah, humbug' sort of person, but today I'd like to wish everyone lots of Christmas cheer and a happy, healthy new year.

    Glo x

  5. At 09:40 AM on 19 Dec 2006, jillygoat wrote:

    Morning Chris and all bloggers

    Despite having bought all my Christmas presents back in November, and having smugly wrapped and distributed them at the weekend, I still have a niggling doubt in my mind - and subseqeuntly my tummy - that I've forgotten either someone or something!

    We're going out to a very good restaurant for Christmas lunch which I'm looking forward to, so I don't have as much food stuff to buy as some, but even so, my list has been made for weeks and the shopping will be done in a military fashion with 'im indoors. We'll rendezvous at the local pub for a meal after work on Thursday and then march on our 24-hour Tesco's at about 8pm when hopefully everyone else is at home.

    That done, I should be able to relax - zzzzzzzzz

    Chris - hope the OAMC get-together goes well tonight - or at least goes!!!!

    Have a great Toodle-day and remember, only six more sleeps to go!!!!!

    jillygoat xx

  6. At 09:52 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Em M wrote:

    Hi everyone,

    Chris - I think I could definitely learn a lot from you, have you ever thought about a new job as a lifestyle coach?! I am terrible at just crumpling in a heap under any kind of pressure, and this fatal flaw has prevented me doing so much in my life. i think you're just that sort of person or you're not, but maybe that's just me being defeatist as usual!

    Did anyone see the Choir last night? I cried my eyes out virtually from beginning to end, Chris you need to get Gareth Malone on the show I think he's great, if a little skinny (he could do with some of Mrs E's chicken stew I think!)

    Saturday Kitchen was great but only because of you. I love people like you who break the rules, but do it in such a charming way that nobody minds. I'm not to sure about James Martin, he seems a little too in love with himself for my liking, I'm not surprised to read he uses the "do you know who I am" line.

    Its my 38th birthday on Thursday and I can't say I'm looking forward too it, although the kids are very excited about whatever they're got me as a pressie. I just feel a bit disappointed in myself this year, I haven't really achieved anything since turning 37, but the kids are happy and healthy and that's the main thing. Off to the panto with all my family to celebrate my birthday, just hope we will all avoid the sickness bug doing the rounds - yuck!

    Love and kisses

    Em xx

  7. At 09:53 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Morning Chris & Bloggers!

    It's a beautiful day here today, the sun is streaming through my bedroom window and I'm thinking of going for a ski (It's the thought that counts). I've got a few work things to do but my buddy and business partner is yet to surface from his pit. He was out on a work do last night and was a little worse for wear... saying that we went out for some Thai food and ended up dancing till 3am so I don't think we were that compus mentis (is that how you spell it?).

    Anyway Ian Wicks.... most impressive

    Mange Tout!

    Luv
    Lynda
    -x-x-x-

  8. At 10:12 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    How come you always seem to get sun in the mornings over there!!!!!!!!!

    Its been blinkin' miserable her for the last week - foggy, rainy, freezing cold - a lovely Christmas scene!

    PS -
    Q: Whats the most popular Christmas Wine in the UK??
    A: "I hate Brussels Sprouts!"

  9. At 10:19 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Nunu wrote:

    Great to hear Enzo getting so many mentions, bless him.....


    "Young attractive liver & white female WLTM dark, handsome fluffy male with GSOH, for walks in the park/forest, games of fetch etc.... Must like humans"


    Would Enzo consider answering this advert??????

  10. At 10:27 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Jax wrote:

    I forgot to put my 'Lotsa love J x' at the end of my post, so.........


    Lotsa love,

    J x

  11. At 10:30 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    The most popular Christmas whine is usually something by Cliff Richard!

  12. At 10:54 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Dear All,

    Thank you all for Christmas Wishes. Same back to you all.......Jax, Em, Eg, LindyLou, Gloria, Dan the Man, Moose BigUn, Jillygoat, Wendy, Wilsmar??? (Where r u WIlsmar - and don't say Toronto),Wickys (Sorry If I missed anyone... there are loads of us eh? )

    I have today spoken with Teacher from hell, - Daughter actually took to bed this morning.

    Teacher From Hell actually very nice. I take back everything I said about her. She thought she and daughter were getting on famously. Thought that she couldn't play because she hadn't practised. Was stunned and shocked when I said that it was because she was terrified and her hand were shaking. She was soooo apologetic. I'm going to see her tonight and she is going to reassure daughter that all is well in the world.

    I'm feeling Christmassy cause I have USB tree and Christmas Bunnies. Watch out on my page, cause I'm putting them up there.

    DWNB

  13. At 10:55 AM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    All,
    I beg to differ on the vegetable chopping front. In my kitchen the 4 approved methods are as follows:
    1. Chop large and even
    2. Chop medium and even
    3. Chop small and even
    4. Chop wildly and randomly, while naming the vegetable as the person that's most upset you during the day

    While from a purist culinary point of view, methods 1 to 3 are all acceptable depending on the dish, method 4 provides another basic result that cooking is intended for - namely STRESS RELIEF!!!

    I feel like I need some stress relief today. The bug is still hanging on for grim death. I seem to have joined the insomniac club. I awoke at 2.30am to the sounds of Mrs Moose talking to herself in the bathroom about all the things there are for her to do (a list longer than Christophe's weekend activity list), and was unable to get back to sleep afterwards. When the alarm rang this morning I was still awake.
    Now, after too much coffee my head is buzzing, the caffeine seems to be feeding the bugs in my tummy and they are having a party, and my eye has started flickering wildly. I must be hugely attractive to female mooses at the moment!!
    I swore at lots of drivers this morning. OK it was foggy, but on some of my route you could see as far as the road stretches, and yet the person in front of me still drove with foglamps brightly beaming at 35mph in a 60 limit. When I finally managed to overtake, there was a bus in front. Just one of those days - I'm sure it wouldn't have bothered me as much had I slept well...

    Oh well, "Things can only get better!"

    Did anyone else notice a subtle twist in the news this morning...
    Some think tank or other has been reporting on the achievements of TB in TEN years in power...I know TB wants us to believe that part of his legacy is a reign of TEN years but, if I can still count, May 1997 to December 2006 is NINE AND A HALF YEARS. I say "Don't count your chickens"...unless you own chickens, in which case you should count them to check they are all there.
    Now, how many ways are there to cut up a chicken?

    Moose

    PS Jax. Everyone has to take responsibility for their own actions. I'd advise you to make sure you distinguish between things that are in your circle of CONCERN but not in your circle of INFLUENCE. Your ex-boyfriend's behaviour belongs there. HE is responsible for his actions and choices, not you.

    PPS In absentia for Matt from Rudgwick...Brian McBride

  14. At 11:01 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    Good morning Chris! Good morning everyone!

    Chris, I got ready to go out while the show was on last night. Thoroughly enjoyed the show - absolute favourite bit was the little girl reading out her Christmas present list - and thoroughly enjoyed my night out too!

    The downside was that I slept through my alarm...Sir Terry's dulcet tones weren't enough to rouse me from my slumber unfortunately, so I was two hours late for work, ahem, and absolutely MORTIFIED...especially because I had a 'chat' with my boss yesterday regarding a pay rise...possibly may be saying bye bye to that now...hey ho...however did not get in a flat spin about it, and got here safely!

    I love getting ready to be me when I go home. Whether going out or staying in. It's cool just to flop on the sofa and read or watch TV, or on the rare occasions that the boy is there too, have a conversation. The cats are good company although Barney just tends to stare at me either trying to do cat telepathy or admiring his mummy's stunning beauty. Not sure which.

    Slicing, dicing, chopping, blending, mashing, mixing is about the extent of my cook's knowledge. The only thing I cannot BEAR is peeling potatoes. The feel of the peel makes me squirm. Dunno why.

    I am definitely off form today. The main consolation is that because I was late, there is less time for me to wait until I can go home again...

    a bientot
    love
    hazel
    x

  15. At 11:13 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Jerry is Sunny Sheffield wrote:

    Ah the Christmas and the Panto season are just fantastic... It was a busy night. 7.30 for another rehearsal of the 'Campest in the Camp' dance for the panto I'm in. I'm really looking forward to it because it's the biggest part I've had so far.

    Straight from the rehearsal to a local pub for traditional Sheffield Christmas Carols. A really great festive sing, and only 4 version of While Shepherds Watched. Some great solo singing too. It's always great seeing peoples faces when they hear The Mistletoe Bough for the first time. Perhaps the most miserable narrative for a Christmas song / carol, yet also one of the most beautiful to listen to.

    A couple of very relaxed dogs curled up on the floor gave the place a very traditional homely atmosphere. Oh and the beer was great too.

    Sweet Chiming Bells, and a Merry Christmas to everyone.

  16. At 11:21 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    Moose - the best way to cut up a chicken is by overtaking it really fast and pulling in right in front of it.

    I hope that clears that up.

  17. At 11:25 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Jax wrote:

    I have just typed out a message but it has disappeared - not sure what has happened there so I apologise if it somehow went through and you're getting another one.....

    Moose - thank you for the words of wisdom. I know I need to get more assertive, I do feel I'm getting there - atl least I'm stronger than I was when I left him a couple of weeks ago. I will make sure I enjoy my Christmas break - he has brought it all on himself. My mobile may well stay switched off too so I cannot be a victim of his verbal abuse over the phone.
    As for lack of sleep I can sympathise totally - even though I slept ok last night I do join the insomnia club every now and then. Is Mrs. Moose also a member as she was awake at 2.30 too?

    DWNB - I'm pleased to hear that the teacher has a heart and I hope this will help your daughter overcome her fear. I take my hat off to her for doing it in the first place.

    Funny when i was younger I did everything from public speaking/readings in church and school events, acting etc. Now I haven't got the confidence to voice anything over the family dinner table yet alone in public. Strange how life effects us huh?

    Lotsa love

    J x

  18. At 11:29 AM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    Hazel Love,
    Thanks for that. I wish I'd known on my drive in this morning...
    Admiring the stunning beauty from here!!!
    Moose

  19. At 11:30 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Phoenix wrote:

    Chris,

    Enjoyed the show last night especially the Panto bit tee hee.

    Keep up the good work cheering us all up each time we leave work to return to our homes.

    This morning the world across the harbour had all but disappeared into a greying mist - ahh we have fog. Just looked out of the office window and it has now all gone and left us with a cold but sunny day.

    To all the bloggers enjoy yourselves, I've enjoyed reading your entries.

    Phoenix

    PS The Hogfather was brills, it would be nice if any other of TP's books could be televised.

  20. At 11:34 AM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    Christophe,
    A thought - If the pilot has passed out or died or been sucked out of the window, then the passengers WOULD know the plane was going to crash before he told them...
    Pedantic Moose

  21. At 11:35 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Gavin wrote:


    SEASONS GREETINGS
    Tip of the Day!

    Without sadness, there would be no happiness.

    Love to all Shloggers.

  22. At 11:42 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Mr. Wicks I take my hat off to you :)

    In other news :

    I am just about beginning to feel all Christmassy. Having been distracted by health (incredibly inconsiderate at this time of year I feel !) I haven’t been as excited as I normally am about all things festive. I did all of my present shopping, wrapping and card writing in November so don’t have a mad rush now....

    Jax - Thank You.

    Mr.E - if you want to pop over to my leafy (although rather misty) part of Surrey and take Maisy for a walk too feel free !

    Right then - that said - I`m going home I think. I feel like a complete failure by giving up, leaving work and going home but my whole body is screaming at me to take a rest. So, a rest I shall take.

    Have fantastic Tuesdays one and all.

    Everyone keep your fingers crossed for Joannie !

    All my love

    Tracey-Ann x x x

  23. At 11:46 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Just for Em M

    I just wanted to say, in my humble opinion I think you’ve achieved something WONDERFUL this year. You have kids who obviously love you.

    I don’t want to harp on, so won't but a few great places to start on the motivation front (and this is just my opinion) are Anthony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay. I have found excellent sources of inspiration and motivation from all. (Other life coaches and mentors are available !!!)

    I hope that 2007 brings you everything you wish for x x x

  24. At 11:52 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Hi Bloggers,

    I think I'm having a bi-polar week I've been feeling soooooooooo christmasy and humming carols to myself and then today had to assess a man who is dying on our ward. I have sorted him out but I did go back to my office and have a cry - he reminded me of Dad at the end. The colour of his skin - the struggle to talk - holding his hand - just felt like dad. They are about the same age. This man has no family at all - I did panic a little that if I never meet the man of my dreams then will that be me? Dying on my own????????

    I'm going to get myself some chocolate - a sure cure for feeling down.

    You are all very knowledgable re: how to prepare food aren't u?

    I had a really wierd dream last night that Chris asked me to be the agony aunt for the drive time show and I'd come up with the most brilliant advise for listeners to phone in with!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Moose {{{{{{{{{{{{{get well soon}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Jax - don;t succum to the emotional blackmail!!!!!!!!!!

    Best Christmas wishes to you all

    Catherine xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  25. At 11:53 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Eleanor's Mum wrote:

    I've foudn the only way to cut vegetables is to hack them. I can never get the hang of juliennes or batons (my knives aren't sharp enough, or so I've been told by my mother, who also delights in telling me I have the wrong pan on the wrong ring... sheesh).

    I am feeling extreeeeemly festive this am, only two more days of work hell (now that our Christmas madness is over) and it's all systems go for the big day.

    Rather you than me walking Enzo Christophle. Fog has descended oop north and it's very grey and miserable.

    Anyone predicting snow yet? My garden's totally baffled - I have a geranium that's outside and in flower! Bonkers.

    Love to all - and my Santa bring you everything you never knew you wanted.

    xxxxx

  26. At 11:53 AM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Tracey ann xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Joannie {{{{{{{{{{{good luck}}}}}}}}}}}}

  27. At 11:58 AM on 19 Dec 2006, Gaby wrote:

    Chris

    YOu are so busy my friend - so many ventures - it's just great. So pleased you were able to read the great feedback from SK. One of the things that really attracts me to some people is when they are passionate about things. I think that is something that your bloggers have in common and that you certainly have and project in your daily posting. Thank you to one and to all.

    Gavin - thank you for your tip for the day - you have no idea how your sadness/happiness words are appropriate for me and my children today. From my heart, thank you

    Jax - you are doing so, so well. Continue to have confidence in the control that you are re-gaining. Lots of love xx

    ways to chop veg: rustic or non-rustic

    laters - still sorting car out

    Gaby
    xx

    ps Heidar Helguson

  28. At 12:04 PM on 19 Dec 2006, TheBigUn wrote:

    Good afternoon bloggers and schlogger,

    Chris the show is great and I have to say I laugh at the times when cues are missed and things do not quite go as you would like. I am sure there are many more that we do not even notice yet you do and it is good that you can laugh at them! ;-))

    A number of years ago I used to do the old amateur dramatics thing and always enjoyed the pantomimes more where gaffs were almost expected yet when we did serious plays and missed lines or cues we would tare ourselves apart yet the audience never noticed at all, worry, worry, worry, and all for no reason :-(

    A word of warning when slicing the vegetables over this festive season. Mrs B is sporting a rather large cut on her thumb when attempting to slice carrots for a dip with one hand and drink a drop of claret with the other. I had to finish the carrots whilst she said owi, owi, owi (or similar words) whilst finishing the red! (Purely medicinal you understand)

    Keith
    x

    P.S here is a short little joke for you!

    A fairground worker working on the dodgems gets the sack for no good reason.

    He calls a solicitor who says that..........

    You have very good grounds for FUN FAIR DISMISSAL.

    Keep smiling :-)))

  29. At 12:07 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Eleanor's Mum....

    WHite Christmas... check this out.


    We were as high as 65% last week, but is falling again. I think they only raise it up, to raise my spirits!!

    Ian Wicks.... Love the Duck. I really do.

    DWNB

  30. At 12:09 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Another vote here for Gareth of "The Choir"
    To see the faces of those kids who just 3 months previously had been so sullen and angsty and teenage, and then there they were looking proud and touched and emotional.
    Totally inspiring.
    Does anyone know if The Phoenix Choir continued after Gareth left? Would be nice to think the kids felt passionate enough to keep going.
    Enjoy Tuesday xxx

  31. At 12:13 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    OK ok, I`m going home... Just wanted to say though - Cathmel, Jax and Gaby - Big Hugs :) x x x

  32. At 12:14 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Hello all

    I asked Denise, my receptionist, if she had yet learnt how to chop vegetables. She looked at me as if I was asking her to solve the riddle of the sphinx, blinked twice, and told me that she hadn't done anything to a vegetable for a long time. 'Baked beans don't need chopping, Dr McCrumble', she added, with a slightly patronising tone.

    Denise is currently banned from entering the Institute kitchen until she has sat a health and safety examination. Dolores told me off for allowing Denise to use the chip pan unsupervised, and blamed me for the whole debacle. I shrugged and got on with my work of dissecting a fish to retrieve its parasites.

    Today is the day of the staff Christmas party. I am due to formally open proceedings in twenty minutes, with a sherry reception. I am looking forward to the party, not least because I get to play some of my favourite Christmas tunes from the 1980's (the definitive musical era, yes?). Dolores says she is happy to stay in the kitchen throughout proceedings.

    Jax - best wishes to you too.

    bye for now

    J McC

  33. At 12:17 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Tiggy wrote:

    hi CLP and all bloggers/schloggers

    I missed the beginning of last night's show as my doc's appointment was late (as usual) so don't know if you played 12 Days of Crimble (Muppets/Jon Denver) for us! Will have to check 'music played' page when it gets updated!
    loved the cooking bit last night, looking forward to more this week
    If I forget later in the week, Merry Christmas all!
    TTFN
    Tiggy xx

  34. At 12:19 PM on 19 Dec 2006, jillygoat wrote:

    Em M - I had started to send you a message but my PC crashed, so heaven only knows what will appear now!!

    I just wanted to echo Tracey-Anne, that to me, having children is a massive achievement. I don't have any children myself, despite many attempts(!), and therefore have no legacy to leave behind, but a little bit of you will continue forever - to quote the Americans, that's awesome!

    My brother paid for me to speak to a life coach over a three month period after I'd escaped a turbulent relationship and at a point when my self-confidence was at an all time low. He was wonderful and because of him, a psychologist and my fantastic friends, family and 'im indoors, I'm now jogging along nicely.

    As I've said before, not all of us are on this earth to set the world on fire - some of us are plodders, and the world needs plodders! You just keep on being a mum and you've got the best job in the world!

    Sorry if I sound preachy - I'm just slightly envious and missing my four beautiful nieces and nephews who are now in NZ!

    jillygoat xx

  35. At 12:36 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Moose - Just realised that my post to you didn’t get through yesterday. Just wanted to say ....Thanks :) As a result I feel exceptional ;)

    x x x

  36. At 12:42 PM on 19 Dec 2006, cath wrote:

    Afternoon all.

    (((Jax))) - I'm with you totally hon, my ex drinks as well, and I tend to get the unwelcome calls/texts/emails ... turning all off at Xmas.

    EmM - I saw the Choir - how cute is Gareth - when he started sobbing after telling them they hadn't got through to the next round .... Bless!

    Moose - I favour option no. 4 in your chopping veg list.

    Hazel - hope home time comes quickly for you!

    (((everyone else)))

    Cathx


  37. At 01:14 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Gavin wrote:

    SEASONS GREETINGS
    Gaby - your are most welcome.

    Glad to be of help to you and anyone else.Will post other tips as the days go by.

    Love to all Shloggers.

  38. At 01:16 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    Oh dear oh dear.

    Not only are we heading for a BlogFest, I can feel a BlogPantomime coming on for next year. (Oh no you can't etc)

    It would appear, from this, and previous days, that there are several thespians among us (Oh no there aren't etc) and I think it may be quite jolly to put something together for next year. (Oh no it won't etc) Whaddya reckon? Em M?

    Peter Blog
    Snow White and the Seven Blogs
    Bloggerella
    Jack and the Blogstalk
    Mother Blog
    Blogs in the Wood

    ...are just a few suggestions.

    BigUn - can open, worms everywhere!

    Moose - have you been to the docs about your bug? There seem to be loads of things going around at the mo, but you shouldn't still be so poorly baby...

    Dr J McC - I'm wondering if I can get Radio Cambridgeshire on my murdoch system. If so, I could record the good Doctor Booth, and use it as part of the package as provenance when the BOTB is on the Ant*ques R*adshow in 30 years time. Hmmmmm will have to see...

    Gaby - good luck with the car hon. My exhaust pipe has gone (along with the rest of my sanity) and the radiator is still requiring permanent repair. The poor car now sounds as though I've got a boy-racer attached to it! The financial outlay is going to be far greater than the reward I feel, so I think it may be the end of the line. Damn shame but all good things must come to an end...sob!

    Joannie - Hope the interview went well. Hope it's a job you want!

    SO...I was just talking to a colleague, and he has to go down a tunnel tonight. We were discussing health and safety, whether anyone has ordered the canaries etc, and he started talking about plane crashes. Why are you given life jackets when you are flying over land? Is it so that you can land on your front without going splat? What are the chances of 200tonnes of metal floating anyway? Would the stewards and stewardesses really remain calm?

    I think I've reached my limit for the time being.

    al fresco
    love
    hazel
    x

  39. At 01:17 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Anna Log wrote:

    I'm just about getting into the Christmas mood - normally I'm very Bah Humbug! but I'm trying (some would say very trying ...)

    Chris, is there any chance you could play that alternative version of 12 days of Christmas where the bird guano and other side effects of the gifts cause mayhem? Sorry but I don't know who its by or even what its called ... but it always makes me chuckle.

    As for vegetable chopping styles - small, medium or large chunks depending on the recipe. Is there any other way?

  40. At 01:47 PM on 19 Dec 2006, TheBigUn wrote:

    I am back,

    I am still going to be at work for another day or so but I am also aware that so many of you lucky people will not! I will be able to continue to blog at home Mrs B permitting ;-)

    The blogmister CE, Hazel love, Gaby, Jillygoat, Jill, Cate, Cake, Tracey-Anne, Lynne, Cathmel, Myra, Moose, SusanS, Steevie fae, Ashy, Fillybay, Weezie, Dissing Dave, DWNB,Em26, Hel, Jo, Jax, wilsmar, soozy woo, Em, Sigh not Simon, Missey, Cathmel, Dr J McC, ChrissieS, Dan the Man, Cheryl, Lyndyloo, Wendy, Susan, Joannie, Matt from Rudgwick, Jax, MWK, M.W.a!, Anna, Mayhem, Joannie, Littlest Hobo, Professor Plum, Santa and absolutely everyone else I have missed :-)

    Have a wonderful Christmas and a merry New Year, stay safe and well and come back safe in 2007 for more blog madness :-)))

    Jax, he really is not your problem, You could always change you mobile number in the meantime give him my number I will help him get his mind off you ;-)

    Em, 38 is no age (happy birthday for Thursday by the way) at all and far too young to be setting targets when you efforts should be to your family. I recommend you write down 5 things you would like to do/achieve before you are 50 and reassess then ;-)

    Hazel Love, I think occasional lateness is Ok as it is not seen as a problem, persistent lateness need swift action, I recommend that you find a book with say 101 good reasons why you are late for work and cross them off as you use them ;-)

    Joannie, good luck for today ;-) xx

    P.S. Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual
    trip...but there were problems everywhere.

    Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the
    toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the
    pressure of being behind schedule.

    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This
    stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found
    that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence
    and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to
    load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the
    Ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house
    for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard,
    he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
    In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds
    of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor.

    He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was
    made from.

    Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He
    opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas
    tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"

    And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the
    Christmas tree.

  41. At 01:53 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Deb wrote:

    Today not going well ! Eldest son managed to get himself and a friend locked in his room and both desperate for the loo ; had to organise a friend to go to the rescue as I am stuck at work .Eldest daughter has raging toothache and have just got emergency appointment but that means racing home to take her before taking youngest daughter to a party. Husbands car playing up and have to fetch him from a garage nowhere near dentists or party and have temporarily forgotten where younger son is !! Hey ho . One very calm friend merely commented "well it could have been worse they could have saved all that for Christmas Eve "Will listen to the show while driving them all over the place later to try and lighten my mood .

  42. At 01:55 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Em M wrote:

    Thankyou to those of you who reminded me that having kids is pretty great and looking after them does count as an achievement. I think I'm someone who needs lots of encouragement, so its good for me to be told how lucky I am and that i am doing a good job.

    As i think i've said before I work serving school lunches and it can be a bit soul destroying, but its so convenient and will do until something better comes along. The kids are all lovely but you're very aware that the teaching and support staff think that you are bottom of the pile. It must be lovely to be like Chris and get paid well for doing a job you love. The nice thing about him is that he knows he is lucky and that's good to see, lots of celebs just moan all the time.

    I have a touch of insomnia at the moment, but I think mine might have something to do with the big lump laying next to me in the bed, snoring. Anyone know of a cure?

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves Gareth from the Choir, I even just googled him!

    Em xx

  43. At 02:24 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Jax wrote:

    BigUn - thanks for your message. His number is 078.... ;-)

    Cath - maybe you should give me your ex's number and I will give you mine. We can then answer each others abusive calls - I'm sure we'd have no problem telling them where to go!

    Maybe we should just give both numbers to BigUn!?

    Dr. J McC - thank you for your thanks! And Tracey-Ann and Gaby and everyone. {{{{{MASSIVE HUGS}}}}} to all. The last 2 weeks have been horrid - you've all made it a little more bearable :-) xoxoxo

    Em M #42 - there's nothing wrong with needing encouragement - I guess I do sometimes (I guess everyone does sometimes). Other times we can be the ones who encourage.
    Never let anyone think you're the bottom of the pile (I feel like that too on occassion - not in my work but in my domestic life) - you are a very valuable, special person who the world couldn't do without......so there!

    Lotsa love to all my therapists,

    J x

  44. At 02:30 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Prof Plum wrote:

    Christmas Greetings one and all

    Well the food shopping will start soon enough. Left too long and the shelves will be empty as people stock the fridge and cupboards to breaking point.
    I feel rather sorry for all those dead turkies. Maybe they should sell them alive and we could keep them as pets.
    It could be new type of designer dog.

    A Turpod.. a turky crossed with a poodle

    or

    A Turkey lurcky... a turkey coossed with a lurcher.


    I'm sure everyone here as well as myself will wish Dr Mc Crumbles secretary Denise good luck in finding that special somebody to light her fire over Christmas.

  45. At 02:31 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    CLP
    Can't be TOAMC tonight. I'm sure it was only about 6 blogs ago you had one, in which case, it definitely isn't once a month.

    PS LURVED Saturday KItchen.

    PPS Santa's Float, which drives around our wee town for a fortnight in the evenings before Christmas collecting Christmas LIsts, and handing out Lollys and Hugs went up in Flames Last night. Everyone escaped safely you'll be glad to hear.

  46. At 02:33 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Susie Mac wrote:

    Am really tired flagging fast. My son woke me at 1am to tell me he couldn't sleep and my best pal sent me a text at 6am to say she was in singapore. Thanks for sharing all your information but really I would prefer to sleep. Just when I thought I was getting over the office Christmas party last Friday... Worst hangover for 20 years and it seemed to last 3 days.

    Anyway lots of sleep tonight, lots of list writing tomorrow, then the world will seem a better place.

    Sx

    PS. Just tried to book some botox, but the lady doctor is fully booked til the end of Jan - what's that all about?

  47. At 02:35 PM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    Tracey-Ann - you're welcome.

    Joannie - good luck. I'm pressing my thumbs for you (German thing...bit like crossing fingers)

    Hazel Love - no doc yet. The upsides of my particular bug are proving too alluring just at the moment. Two people today have already remarked that I appear to have lost weight - and they'd be right. And remember, I am male, therefore it takes the earlier of death or two weeks to force me into seeing the vet.

    Dr JMcC - typical timing! I will be moving out of the ´óÏó´«Ã½ Radio Cambridgeshire reception area to new pastures on exactly the day that Dr Booth is on. Do they have a "Listen Again" function too?
    I shall be attempting to pop into Heffers tomorrow to see the display - I shall attempt not to knock the books over with my hooves, unfortunately I can get a little clumsy in bookshops. I think it's the smell of muffins coming from their in-store coffee shops that makes me lose concentration - and they do insist on making the aisles person-sized - most inconvenient.

    I had only three things to do today which were completed by 11am. So I have made a start on book number 2. Dangerous game I know, but a moose has gotta write what a moose has gotta write...
    Still waiting on that flood of job offers...do these people have something more important on their minds like Christmas? So rude...

    Jax - Mrs Moose not exactly an insomniac, just so many things on her list to do that she stays up til 2 or 3am EVERY night doing them...or sleeping on the sofa...or whatever...
    If anyone has any ideas how I can persuade her that going to bed early, even for one night, will not mean that the world will end, and might just stop both of us from having nervous breakdowns and mean she can do more the following day, then please let me know - I have exhausted all the ideas that my tiny moose brain can muster...:-(

    Moose

  48. At 02:36 PM on 19 Dec 2006, ChrissieS wrote:

    Hi Chris (and everyone)

    I missed SK on Saturday (had to go Christmas shopping, forgot to set the video) and now I am working a later shift at work so won't hear the show and there's no time for me to Listen Again. Aaaargh! The panto sounds like great fun, so all the best with that!

    Feeling quite Christmassy now. Dublin was wonderful on Sunday but for a terrible, terrible 20 minutes - thought I had lost my 15 year old daughter and her friend. We had made an arrangement to meet up at 12 noon, but they thought I said 12.30. At 12.20 they walked casually up Grafton Street, while I was panic stricken, wondering how I was going to call my friend and say her daughter was missing. Don't want to experience anything like it again.

    By the looks of it, quite a few you are stopping shortly for the break so I will take this opportunity to wish everyone a really magical Christmas - love one another - and remember to eat the brussels sprouts or your hostess will be really offended! It's just changed my life so much being part of this blog (thank you Chris) and hopefully we will all meet up after the festivities!

    C xx

    P.S. Hope it's o.k. to add a few comments:

    Em M - what's to achieve? Just getting through each day, living your life, that's achievement enough!

    Iain Wicks - hey Cliff Richard is brilliant!

    Jax - I had to walk away from my relative who I loved wo much. The lies, the promises, the never ending stress was too much. You are not obligated to spend time with your ex. This is HIS journey, you have to concentrate on yours.

    DWNB - don't you feel fantastic that you took the bull by the horns, and to discover it was all a misunderstanding! Your daughter will be so relieved and you must be proud of yourself for facing this head on!!

    Cathmel - you were so kind to be with that patient at the end. You will know this better than me, but some people want to die alone. I know this is true of my brother. There was someone with him constantly and in the hour he was alone, he passed away. I really do believe that's how he wanted it.

    Sorry for the long message guys!
    x


  49. At 02:37 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Prof Plum wrote:

    Christmas Greetings one and all

    Well the food shopping will start soon enough. Left too long and the shelves will be empty as people stock the fridge and cupboards to breaking point.
    I feel rather sorry for all those dead turkies. Maybe they should sell them alive and we could keep them as pets.
    It could be new type of designer dog.

    A Turpod.. a turky crossed with a poodle

    or

    A Turkey lurcky... a turkey coossed with a lurcher.


    I'm sure everyone here as well as myself will wish Dr Mc Crumbles secretary Denise good luck in finding that special somebody to light her fire over Christmas.

  50. At 02:37 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Jax wrote:

    Terrible grammar in the last sentence of my previous post. Apologies!

    I meant....'with whom the world could not do without'

    But anyway who cares really

    Lotsa love,

    J x

  51. At 02:38 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Phoenix wrote:

    Hiya,

    I just had a look to see if there was anything on the net re The Choir afterwards - Chloe has joined a gospel choir but nothing else is mentioned.

    Chris please play the alternative 12 days of christmas the letter version it is really funny.

    Christmas is a special time of year for everyone with families as children grow up all too quickly and lose the fascination with Santa. I really like attending the Christingle services at the local church as they are full of joy - one year the entire church was transformed into Narnia.

    Peace to all
    Phoenix

  52. At 02:38 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    ANNA LOG!!!!

    Just for you, and you may have realised that I'm not terribly busy today...

    Bob Rivers Comedy troupe: 'The 12 Pains of Christmas'.

    Check out /dna/h2g2/alabaster/A212202 and you can download it from there. I'm pretty sure that one is the one that you meant.

    JAX - I put some stuff in a post for you yesterday, but it got taken by the BP. I used to do guilt trips rather well, and it's taking me a long time to nearly not do them at all. Darling, be with people you know love you unconditionally, be they friends or family...Don't be with people because you feel you have to be or they are using pressure or emotional blackmail. You can't make it right, but you can look after you.

    and a partridge in a pear tree
    love
    hazel
    x

  53. At 02:39 PM on 19 Dec 2006, jillygoat wrote:

    I was given some good advice by you bloggers regarding my non-existent £2.5k pay rise (as per my signed contract) - I had been told that the firm couldn't afford it right now (after successfully completing my probationary period), so I waited a few days and then sent a curt email to the powers that be asking if it was going to be backdated once things improved, or if there was a problem with my work, I'd appreciate knowing what it was.

    Today I've been told that I am getting an extra £1k in January but that my job will change to half a day doing one job and the other half doing another - apparently a new contract will be issued.

    Not sure if this is legal or correct - any advice would once again be appreciated.

    Please don't think me greedy - I'm just confused!

    Thanks.

    jillygoat x

  54. At 02:44 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Eleanor's Mum wrote:

    DWNB: Thanks - I have a 55 per cent chance of being stranded with rellys at home... I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not - but the page is impressive!

    PS - Loved the Hogfather on Sky, but the books are much, much, much better. :-)

  55. At 02:56 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Eleanor's Mum wrote:

    Em M. Just so you know, you're not the only one who feels a bit sort of invisible.

    As you may know, I'm a mum (and apologies for the constant ramming of Squiggly Pig down fellow blogger's throats) and it is by far my biggest achievement.

    Huzzband and I tried for over 3 years (which isn't long compared to some people) before we got pregnant, and it's been a wild and wonderful ride.

    Although, I have discovered there are two worlds - one populated by those who have kids and those without. I know which one I'd rather be a part of every time.

    Having said that, there are times when I feel like screaming becuase nobody sees me for the person I once was, or they don't recognise who I've become.

    I know exactly what you mean about feeling at the bottom of the heap, but every time your child smiles (Pig is just over a year old, so can't speak properly yet) or laughs at you, that's got to be worth millions?

    Maybe becuase I had to exercise patience (something I'm extreeeemly bad at) I'm a bit rose tinted..

  56. At 03:20 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Parker wrote:

    Went round to see my ex and my wonderful 5 year old daughter yesterday, and my little one handed me a Christmas card she had made at school.
    It is a badly folded piece of paper with some brown things stuck on the front, a pair of what i think are ment to be legs, all sitting on a twig which has been glued on to the card.
    Inside the card happy christmas has been "written", with the last few letters of christmas on another line from the rest of the word.
    To anybody who is not a parent it would seem like a right mess, but to me it is the best Christmas card in the world ever and will probably stay up all year!!!!!!!!


    chris can you ask santa when his birthday is? I hope its not the 25th December, as i would hate for him to be working on his Birthday

  57. At 03:24 PM on 19 Dec 2006, ChrissieS wrote:

    Me again,

    Cathmel - sorry I misunderstood the situation with your patient. Feel like an idiot, but I mis-read it.

    C xx

  58. At 03:43 PM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    Jillygoat - I'm not an expert but it sounds like they are breaching the contract. I don't think that they can change the contract unilaterally, and I would think that they can only reduce the extra amount if you sign something to say that's OK.
    There will be lots of ifs and buts. Important info will be the duration of your original contract, the cancellation clauses, notice period etc.
    And if they thought that your work was not up to standard they have an obligation to give you the notice stated in the contract of that fact. If they don't then it's clear that they do not think there is anything wrong.
    The problem you have is more what you do about it, as many of the possible courses of action may either damage your relationship with them, limiting your ability to earn money from them at all, or put them in financial difficulty, again limiting your earning ability from them.
    I would think that you should not passively agree to anything either - sounds like you've not done that by registering your concerns via e-mail.
    There may be some other ways of approaching it...if you invoice them for your work, you could continue to send in invoices at the contract amount, but choose not to pursue the extra amount for payment until later.
    It's a tricky one, but your approach will probably have to be worked out based on how much you need the contract with them and the money, even at a lower amount. Everyone has their price!

    Moose

  59. At 03:43 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Gloria wrote:

    Hi again to all. Sorry, specific messages for two members:

    Moose # 47 - are you sure Mrs Moose isn't simply trying to avoid you? If not, try getting her in the mood for a loving early night & tire her out - usually works for me!

    Jillygoat # 53. In my experience, curt e-mails (or curt anything) don't tend to help in these type of situations, so you might just re-evaluate your modus communications firstly. I've personally always found a conversation to be generally more constructive. Forgive me for saying so, but you seem very concerned that we don't think you're being greedy - maybe your employer thinks this from your tone?
    Secondly, in the real world jobs do change and things have a habit of not being as straigtforward as you expect. Effectively, your employer seems to have offerred you an alternative job with a £1k pay rise later than you expected it? Hope I've read this right.

    If the job is actually changing from that which you had accepted, there should have been some consultation with you about this and, hopefully, some agreement about what that would mean in ££ terms as well as your willingness and ability to do it.
    If they really cannot afford the promised rise and are changing your job, perhaps the company is in difficulty and their alternative is to make you redundant. In this case you would only be entitled to one weeks' notice.
    My advice to you would be to talk to your boss and get a real handle on what's going on & where you fit into it.
    Hope that wasn't too harsh (just trying to be realistic) and all the best with it!
    Glo x

  60. At 03:49 PM on 19 Dec 2006, jillygoat wrote:

    Parker - what a lovely blog! I've gone all teary now.

    I love getting cards and calendars made by my nieces and nephews - the writing starts off really big and then gets smaller and smaller, and the kisses at the bottom are + + + + until they get the hang of them!!!

    I've kept every one of the pictures etc that they've sent me over the years and I've just received a Christmas card from Sam who's 7 which he designed himself - it's got festive ladybirds on it!!!!

    I'm missing out on the nativity plays and carol concerts with them being in NZ but apparently a DVD is on its way - that's if I can watch it with blubby eyes!!

    Lots of stuff for the memory bank - I love it.

    jillygoat xx

  61. At 03:56 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    Have just had to check the transmitter and all seems to be ok on the western front except I've got a splinter.

    ...and EVERY time I put a message on, I forget something else. This is possibly symptomatic of last night's revelries...

    C H R I S ! ! - I hope your OAMC evening is suitably enjoyable for the last one of the year. Whistle Idol sounds totally BARKING! (If you don't stop whistling I'm gonna take out your pea) Barking in a good way...

    DWNB - all power to you. I was bullied by peers (rather than teachers) at school and told to deal with it myself, I always felt as though I wasn't believed, or made to feel I was exaggerating. I'm glad you were able to confront the teacher, and hopefully Tinkerbell(?) will now be ok!
    ...and LOVE the metcheck!

    CATHMEL - I'm SO glad that there are people like you to help people when they are at their most vulnerable, and make their passing more peaceful and loving. BIG love to you honey xx

    BIG'UN - I am thinking of writing a book of 101 reasons to be late. I am also thinking of writing a book of 101 things to do before you reach 50. No.1 would be to write a book of 101 things to do before you reach 50.

    The splinter is starting to sting. That is the last time I scale the wall of the stables for ANYONE! Just because we have to keep the reindeer indoors this time of year...deer-nappers doncha know...we are supposed to take it in turns. It has been my turn for quite long enough today thank you very much, and it's about time I did some CENSORED.

    By the way...I have been given those two hours from this morning. A bit of each of them has been added to the rest of the time I've been here...

    as a mis-quoted Marie-Antoinette said..."Let them eat steak"

    creme fraiche
    love
    hazel
    x

  62. At 04:06 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Friend of Hazel Love wrote:

    hey poeple hazel is now not here with a splinter and a needle and she lets me tyope in here as she wants me to say for her that it sonds like jillygoat boss may be in breech of contractment i had a good holiday and was not here for hazels birhtday but i snucke a look at all her friends on here happu cjristmas to you all

  63. At 04:13 PM on 19 Dec 2006, jillygoat wrote:

    Gloria - you're not harsh at all - perhaps I should have said that I was polite and concise rather than curt - wrong word I think.

    The reason I emailed the boss was because he's a bit of a butterfly and is never still for a minute - lots of fingers in far too many pies to be able to concentrate on anything for more than a few mins. Anyway, he didn't show up for the meeting that he'd arranged to discuss my situation, and I later found out that he was out all day anyway. It was frustration and a lack of the opportunity to communicate in person that made me commit to email - at least I had a record.

    Anyway, I'll "suck it and see" as they say.

    jillygoat

  64. At 04:23 PM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    Gloria - thanks. She's not just trying to avoid me but succeeding to excess! I'll just fix that and everything will be fine...
    Moose

  65. At 04:25 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Just expereincing the most breath taking sunset from my kitchen window.............................................

    Called the kids to see it but they are unimpressed so I thought I'd share it with you guys. It's a burnt orange like the sky's on fire WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOWWWWWWW

    Chrissie - don't be silly xxxxxxxx

    JOKES:

    Something to offend nearly everyone!
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    45 lbs.
    >>> >>> >> >>> >
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    Sexual Harassment.
    >>> >>> >> >>> >
    What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
    ?3.99 a minute.
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    The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
    >>> >>> >> >>> >
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    The sex is the same, but you get the remote control.
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    good-looking?
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    Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
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    dozen
    donuts.
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    A battery has a positive side.
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    When you take it off, you wonder where the breasts went.
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    Two mothers-in-law.
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    front door, whom do you let in first?
    The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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    A woman that won't do what she's told.
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    her.
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    Divorced.
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    I said, "Dust!"
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    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
    >>> >>> >> >>> >
    A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
    said,
    "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
    She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
    >>> >>> >> >>> >
    Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
    doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
    Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

  66. At 04:39 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Jennie (from the blog) wrote:

    Hey bloggers / shloggers

    so much waffle today - are you all on christmas wind down?

    I am busy busy trying to get it all ready for handing in my notice in the new year. Must have all the files in order for a nice easy handover.

    Already booked my sailing course (hurrah!) and bought my season ticket for the cricket down in hampshire - happy days.

    Still dont have a present for my dad - he has only asked for a "large sponge to wash the car" which has set me back 99p - why are men so difficult!

    any ideas?

    JX

  67. At 04:55 PM on 19 Dec 2006, moose wrote:

    Jennie - get your dad a dozen donuts and cathmel's joke book.

    Moose

  68. At 05:01 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Anna Log wrote:

    Hazel Love - Thanks for the tip off - I'll give your link a try when I get home. Work-related web police frown on downloads and put a stop to most of them.

    Hope you manage to get the splinter out with minimum of pain and suffering. I recommend alcohol to ward off any potential infections - don't clean your finger with it (that hurts!), just drink it. Red wine is probably best, but I may be wrong ...

  69. At 05:04 PM on 19 Dec 2006, anna wrote:

    blimey, feeling a long blog coming on. Sorry in advance.

    CLP - how nice of you to recognise that you are our de-work/re-personalise support system. I am definately more me when i get home if i have listened to you than if i cant.

    Jax - I know you have responded to what everyone else has said but wanted to echo the comments of my fellow bloggees. And to add, sometimes it is important to look after number one. Be a little selfish, it is sometimes the best way to protect oneself and to be fair others - may be the (ex) needs the difficult reality of being on his own to deal with what he needs to deal with. Sometimes walking away is the best thing for everyone, you seem to be the one with the strength in this relationship. Use it positively. xx

    Em M, so late with my blog that people have already said this too. You have two children who are helathy and happy. A brilliant achievement, i know. I struggle keeping one of them that way!

    Moose - forgive me being a littly dippy here, but i often think that when i am stuck behind slow drivers/buses/tractors etc.... that actually its the wizards at work to look after me. Take a breather, wherever you are going will still be there when you get there - however long it takes. Think Sliding Doors.

    BigUn - thank you for my mention in your list. Isnt it funny how even on a blog of normal people (well most of us anyway!) there are still some 'celebrities' who make your day when they acknowledge your contribution. You made my day. xx

    Off to fetch the man cub. He is at his nursery christmas do and wll no doubt be beyond excitement when i pick him up. I cant wait for christmas!!

    xx

  70. At 05:05 PM on 19 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Jax - meant to say my mobile home is in Bashley. Follow the link www.newforestcaravan.com to see pics. Lovely place fordingbridge

    c

  71. At 07:49 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    Hey Ya!

    Another late blog alert, live from Rudgwick, WS.

    When I was in my late teens (a moon, or two ago), we had a Christmas pattern of - certain pub Christmas Eve - different pub New Years Eve - that was essentially two opportunities to slap ourselves on the back, look back on the year that had been, and decide how we would make our fortune in the forthcoming 12 months.

    And in a way, I miss those years.

    Even if the fortune was never made. Yet, anyway.

    The past few days on here have been lovely, a sort of cyber-slap on the back, if you like.

    I know I said I probably wasn't blogging - although I did say 'primetime', but whenever the chance arises, I can't hold back! - some kind of therapy is required in the New Year.....

    Once again, huge hugs and kisses from Rudgwick for everyone here. Enjoy and, as I said before, keep that dream alive.

    Peace all

    M f R

    PS HH & Mac - well spotted Moose & Gaby!

    PPS Oh no, FFC v Wet Spammers!

    PPS One louder.

  72. At 08:16 PM on 19 Dec 2006, sarah j wrote:

    MR E
    What would we do without you !!

    Your writing is just brilliant and makes us all stop and think - and above all smile

    Enjoy

    SJ

  73. At 08:39 PM on 19 Dec 2006, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    Last word. Promise.

    Moose. Me and you. In the pub. Now.

    We have alot to talk about. Give me the nod if you fancy a beer at Chris' place.

    M f R

    PS 2-0 HH & Radz.

  74. At 08:49 PM on 19 Dec 2006, linda crisp wrote:

    find your show really great. I too love listening to the children. Loved it when you said the little girls sister must be baby jesus.
    Linda

  75. At 07:56 AM on 20 Dec 2006, Gaby wrote:

    Good morning friends

    Dr JMcC - I have ordered your book from 'sshhhhh....you know who'. I await it's despatch with great anticipation and, according to our amazonian friends, it will arrive by 1pm today - how exciting. I will allow myself some time to start reading it before the kids come home from school at lunch time today. Accompaniements being a cup of tea and a large wedge of Tunis cake.
    I hope that the Christmas party was a success, that Dolores didn't object to being in the kitchen for the duration and that Denise is ok. Did you find any previously-undiscovered genus of parasite during your retrieval process.


    Gaby

    ps this time next year we will be millionaires

  76. At 08:02 AM on 20 Dec 2006, wrote:

    Jax, Chrissie S, Hazel Love.

    I got home to find that Lovely Music Teacher had written Toolibelle a letter apologising for scaring her and encouraging her to keep on with her clarinet, and signed it "with love"....... Don't know about Tooli, but I'm ecstatic.

    Feeling even more Christmassy this morning. Went to School Christmas Concert Last night, watched my son (of the same music teacher), playing his Saxophone like a pro with 3 of his friends, and then with the Woodwind Orchestra. The senior choir stood out with a fantastically enthusiastic version of "All I want for Christmas". Is enough to bring tears to the eyes. Even took the Nank and Nunk along (84 and 77) respectively. Nunk was part of the first intake at the school my kids attend and I think he was fair taken away watching the Great-Nephew tooting away on his sax.

    Merry Christophmas Everyone!!!


    DWNB

  77. At 08:07 AM on 20 Dec 2006, Gaby wrote:


    Tracey-Ann, Hazel Love and Jax and anyone else that I have missed - thank you very much for your hugs. ooooohhh, so lovely.

    Talking of hugs - aren't they just great!! - a real one, you know, one of the ones where you almost go 'eeek' as you are hugged so hard. There are those that really go for it and those that hold back (story of my life!!). I might try to 'get one' today, lol. I don't think I will be getting one from the Service Manager at the garage where my very poorly car was allegedly 'fixed'. It didn't seem that they had done a very thorough job when I broke down the day before yesterday!!! Let the battle commence - £400 worth of 'fixing' made a large hole in my pocket....and that was before the money I have had to pay for the hire car over the next 2 weeks!!!! My 'old' car is not worth spending a fortune on (ouch, that sounds harsh to the old gal - still, 'tis a reality). The way forward will be leasing a car as soon as I can sort something out - can't afford to buy one.

    Anyway, am off to find someone to hug - these virtual ones are so garjus, I think I might progress to a real one!!! On the other hand, virtual can sometimes be better than reality ;)

    Gaby
    x


    ps Moose - get well soon x

  78. At 08:21 AM on 20 Dec 2006, Gaby wrote:


    I think my posts have got lost in the fog????

    Is it too early to put the sprouts on a low simmer???

    My geraniums are still flowering - I think I must have inadvertently developed a frost-resistant hybrid....everytime I reverse out of my wee drive, I glance back at hte house and look at the berry wreath on the door and the pink and white blooming geraniums just to the side of it - such a bizarre sight : )

    Gaby

  79. At 08:30 AM on 20 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    Mornin' all xxxxxxxxx

    JENNIE - get your dad more than one sponge! If he's anything like any bloke I know, he'll only use it a couple of times, then leave it in the bucket to go mouldy...and one would hope he is going to wash the car more than once dahling!

    Em M - Good job yesterday. Lets see how we get on with Humpday...

    Only three more sleeps til the boy is home tantantara!

    bon huit
    love
    hazel
    x

  80. At 08:40 AM on 20 Dec 2006, Hazel Love wrote:

    MOOSE and TRACEY-ANN

    Hope you're both feeling better today?

  81. At 08:53 AM on 20 Dec 2006, wrote:

    I have found that blogging is a great way to get yourself to laugh at things you would previously have found awful!

    Sally

  82. At 09:27 AM on 20 Dec 2006, TheBigUn wrote:

    Morning all,

    Hazel Love, There is something about Panto that stirs the old loins into wanting to do it one more time. I had to stop as one more year as an ugly sister and I may have started to enjoy wearing dresses and I owned more makeup than Mrs B ;-) LOL

    Cathmel, well done for getting that post past the BP. I am pretty sure that if I or a few others had posted it would have disappeared into ´óÏó´«Ã½ towers and never seen again ;-) Keep posting jokes for as long as they will let you ;-)

    Anna, you are not only welcome to the mention it is deserved ;-) strange isn’t it you are pleased to get a mentioned and I worry about who I missed out! X

    I will return later so beware ;-)

    Keith
    x

  83. At 04:38 PM on 20 Dec 2006, Cathy wrote:

    Hi, Just want to say a big thank you. I became homeless last Oct and should have my own place this January. In the meantime i've been living with my sis, Rose who lives in Northolt. The thank you is because i work in South Mimms it can be a very long journey to Northolt and you have made it pleasurable ! I don't mind if the traffic's slow or some joker is playing cat & mouse in the lanes as long as i'm listening to you & your great show the time just fly's by.

    I make more smiles then than at any other time of the day. Cheers & All the best for 2007, and keep up the great work.

    Love ya,
    Cathy.

  84. At 10:19 PM on 01 May 2007, wrote:

    Great work and pretty colors!

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