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ANY ROOM FOR A SMALL ONE

Chris Evans | 14:13 UK time, Monday, 19 February 2007

Hi monkey cats, how鈥檚 it hanging,

So a woman starts a blog off just a few weeks ago and has now been offered seventy grand to write more of the same for a publisher, they call it the鈥

鈥ost Bridget Jones generation. A middle class mum struggling to bring up two kids whilst wrestling with the fact she might have to give her own life up to do so. Sounds grippingly normal to me.

So what about the scenario where鈥

Oh forget it, it doesn鈥檛 matter.

Anyhow, Jeremy Clarkson鈥檚 got the grumpty numpty market covered, Chris Moyles has the young, angry and misguided market tapped, Tony Parsons is the new man, pre mid life crisis, though he won鈥檛 admit it gang leader. May be there isn鈥檛 a market for really happy and contented and what am I going to cook tonight author.

Ho hum.

Write to sell ?

Write to be read ?

Write to write.

I have no idea.

I鈥檓 sat in my living room surrounded by people that work for me, we鈥檙e all having lunch.

Guess what they do鈥

Mark Mark ?
Jackie ?
Hiten ?

Hiten was recently head hunted by the woman who owns Anne Summers. She has her own plane and helicopter but she can鈥檛 get her hands on my Hiten. Though he did point out she was offering him a shit load money than I pay. If you love someone set them free. He is free to go, he knows that and if he chooses to I wish him well.

Had a big meeting this morning at The Beeb with Helen our exec producer. Music was the topic of the day and we then studio tested a potential replacement for Foxy, who goes on six months baby leave in three weeks from today.

Off to a movie quiz tonight been boning up over the weekend. Tune in tonight to be spellbound by my new movie knowledge.

Must go, way, way behind schedule.

Lots of love,

CLP.



Comments

  1. At 02:25 PM on 19 Feb 2007, SammyM wrote:

    Hi Chris and fellow Monday Bloggers

    Hope you are all well and enjoying that 'Monday is nearly over feeling' - HOORAY!!!

    Ho Hum - Onwards and upwards

    SammyM xx

    PS - Poor old Britney eh????

  2. At 02:28 PM on 19 Feb 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Good to hear from you and hope you had a sneeze-free weekend after the dustbusters had been!!

    With regards to employment, as long as the mortgage - or rent now - is covered and I've got enough to pay me bills and a little bit left over for some food/drink/fun, then I'm happy and if I'm actually enjoying my job then I consider myself to be very fortunate.

    I'm currently in a well-paid job which is changing by the day (the changes being out of my control) but I'm unhappy and looking for something closer to home.

    Of course, if Hiten decides to leave you, then I'm offering me services for half his salary and a season ticket on BR!!!!!!!

    Looking forward to 5pm and the show - hope everyone has a good week.

    jillygoat xx

  3. At 02:41 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Cheryl the Diva wrote:

    Hey CLP and bloggers - Happy Monday!

    If the Ann Summers woman wants a PA - give her my email address as I'm in the job market!

    Replacing the Fox will be a hard task. The lady who covered for her last week was OK, but IMHO a tad on the over-enthusiastic side for a newby. P'raps wait a little to get ones tootsies under the table before coming over all super-charged and raring to go go go!

    Surely, CLP, the answer to your writing dimella is 'write coz one enjoys writing' ?!?

    Bunny stew in the Diva household tonight - yum yum - and sorry if that offends anyone.

    Moonwalk training is coming on a treat - I did 8 miles in 2 hours yesterday - that puts me on schedule for a 7 hour marathon - a full 3 hours faster than last time. Sponsors are also pouring in thick and fast - let me know if any bloggers want to sponsor me and I'll let you have my on line sponsor iip address. Won't post it here as it will probably get PB's - unless CLP intervenes, of course!

    Right, sadly I have work to do. Having a seriously demotivated day today and have just eaten a whole pack of wine gums in about 4 minutes. Now got a sore tongue!

    Will pop back later (if this gets posted).

    CtD x x

  4. At 02:43 PM on 19 Feb 2007, wrote:

    Well I said 'blog off' recently and have not been offered 70 grand!!! Despite being a 36 year old single mum trying to bring up two girls - ho hum!

    Mark Mark - repeats repeats everything everyhting you you say say twice twice

    Jackie - makes the tea

    Hiten - handles your foreign business and walks the dog.

    C x x

  5. At 02:51 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Caroline wrote:

    Hello Chaps, Chapettes, the lovely Chris and the Ace drivetime team

    Well, I too was amazed that the aformentioned blog has been singled out鈥.I wonder if it is a case of 鈥渞ight place right time 鈥 or 鈥渋t鈥檚 not what you know it鈥檚 who you know鈥 or the publishing company hasn鈥檛 done much research.
    Chris, you blog is great ( and so is 1 certain other, in habited by nutcases not far away!)
    - I feel a certain tang of sour grapes, a bit, on your part鈥urely the point of your blog is to diarise you thoughts and feeling and opinions etc鈥ut you have also a radio show every weekday to vocalise these, and receive instant feedback from listeners too, where as 鈥渨ifeinthenorth鈥 maybe was to write an online diary 鈥 not necessarily sharing it with anyone (na茂ve to say on my part maybe, but there are plenty of blogs out there unread and uncommented upon everyday) she just got lucky.

    Anyway, you have a lifetime of access to an audience who love your work, - shown in listening figures/TV rating etc, whereas 鈥渨ifeinthenorth鈥漨aybe experiencing her 15 mins of fame (profitable, yes, but 1 believe 15 mins nethertheless)

    Can鈥檛 wait for the show ( will be leaving work on time to listen) I鈥檓 genning up for a forthcoming Red Nose Day General Knowledge quiz at work, so would love to get handy hints and get enraptured by your new found knowledge

    Mange tout, my friend, Mange tout

    Love Caroline x

  6. At 02:56 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Sam Downie wrote:

    Late last year Chris, when you were beginning this blog, I made a comment about how you SHOULD get these thoughts published, as your writing is such great fun to read, and very open hearted. From your thoughts to your dreams, to what you are working on and of course you show's n guests n team surrounding you.

    Yes.. maybe.. just maybe, you should at least think about getting a book done. NO not a autobiography (door stop..) just a book about your thoughts and dreams.

    Sam in Bristol

  7. At 03:16 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Em 26 wrote:

    hey bloggers

    today i have a couple of questions i would love to get some advice on! Cant really ask anyone who knows me so I am going to call on your wisdom!

    If you are with someone you have a child and a life with, if you know you are no good for them should you do the selfless thing and leave, or desperately try and battle your demons and stay? (this is not being asked in a martyre way, or wanting someone to tell you you are good! you are genuinely not!)

    Also how do you get over someone you cannot possibly have?

    Any advice gratefully received!

    em26x

  8. At 03:24 PM on 19 Feb 2007, wrote:

    Hey CLP glad that you're back and no streaming eyes?
    As for your people;

    Mark- He is your presonal stylist, he advises you on what new look you should go for while desperately trying to stop you from wearing colours that don't suit you whilst trying not to upset you. He wears a green trilby and dark purple pin striped suit with spats.

    Jackie- She is your publicist and after years of having to try to keep you out of the media for the wrong reasons she is now hapy and contented to ask which of the great things you've been up to you'd like to be put out there in the media these days.

    Hiten- Your long suffering chiropodist. He loves to take care of your feet and much as Mrs Ann Summers might have her flashy lifestyle he's heard that she's got horrific dry skin and corns from constantly pushing her feet into killer stillies fashioned from man made materials which has also caused her feet to stink to boot. He's decided that he's much rather stick to the toes he knows!

    Luv
    Lyndyloo
    -x-x-x-

  9. At 03:49 PM on 19 Feb 2007, wrote:

    yo Dude

    Yes exactly what I was thinking, but i did read some and it does make for eye watering reading (in places).

    Hiten - is he the one with the handbags? Yeah, he's going nowhere.

    I quite liked the girl you had on last week, she was very shy to start, and then she started coming out of herself, and giving you some flirty worky. tee hee.

    DWNB

    ps - apple and cinamin sausages tonight ... with mash

  10. At 04:10 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Dissing Dave wrote:

    Afternoon all,

    I'll take Mark Mark as buyer of Bon bons

    Jackie as chief magazine readers (Newspapers and of course comics for girlies)

    Hiten, is obviously very important to have been head-hunted. Therefore must be Tea-maker in Chief with portfolio for coffee!

    I'll do the soppy bit! THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN REPLACE THE FOX!!!!!

    DD out

    PS Top Gear Space Shuttle :-)

    PPS Jezza trading in his GT40 for a Lambo Gallardo Spider - Oh so would I, oh so jealous am I!

  11. At 04:13 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Dan wrote:

    Hi Chris
    Have a good show tonight - looking forward to it!

  12. At 04:34 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Prof Plum wrote:


    Could it be;

    Mark Mark is a Plumber

    Jackie is a loyal claenner.


    Hiten or (Hifive divided by 2 ) is a personal shopper specialising in under garments, for the man about town?
    I wonder why Lulu is still played on radio 2.
    Shout .........

  13. At 04:40 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Anonymous wrote:

    Don't start me on Chris Moyles. I heard a trailer for his show yesterday and it was basically taking the mickey out of the scottish accent for cheap laughs.

  14. At 04:59 PM on 19 Feb 2007, wrote:

    Hidee Hi Christophe!

    You sound like a happy chappie today.
    Along the theme of 'blog blag' I've got a wee confession to make.

    My son plays for an ickle Sunday league team associated with our local pub and I often go to see the matches and join the chaps for the best bit - post-footie drinks in the lovely local pub. I've been doing this since the beginning of the season having had very little interest in football before (or even still if I'm honest) but if my boy's doing it then I'm interested. Kenn supportive (interfering) mummy. Please be aware that my interest is far more in the post match banter, sandwiches and beer than in the game itself. They're an extremely clever and witty bunch and the camaraderie is high.
    Somehow I have managed to successfully blag my way through many a Sunday afternoon's premiership footie talk with odd comments and terminology that I have shamlessly plaguerised from commentators and pundits on Saturday afternoon radio.
    Such has been my success that yesterday the team manager asked if I would write the match report for the newsletter as "I seem to know what I'm talking about"! He said that the current writer is moving away and it would give a bit of kudos to the team having a female fan writing the report!
    I was mortified! I said that I would give it my serious consideration but being committed to school governing as well as working 6 days a week yada, yada, yada......
    I've spent the day considering this (and wrestling with my conscience - should I do the decent thing and come clean? I must say if I thought I could get away with it I'd be chuffed to bits and I'm very tempted. I've searched the internet (where I thought you could find anything) but cannot find a website dedicated to 'blagging your way through football chat' yet it seems to me that many people do this all the time. I know that you like to search t'internet for 'stuff' so please would you help me out here? Maybe Johnnie knows a site or two but then again would he tell you if he did?!!
    Hope the show goes well.....for a Monday!

    Debs xx


  15. At 05:06 PM on 19 Feb 2007, wrote:

    Ok ... was kind of expecting that!!!!

    Comment Submission Error
    Your comment submission failed for the following reasons:
    You are not allowed to post comments.
    Is there any particular reason for this, like I've been banned for some reason, or is there still bugs in the system? It's most frustrating! The blog and show go hand in hand! Anyways .... I did write .....

    Good afternoon, Christoph!

    I think, whatever you write, you should do something that you yourself would want to read!

    Why can't someone come along and offer us long term bloggers a heap of money to do what we do every day?!?

    So ...

    Mark Mark ?
    Jackie ?
    Hiten ?

    .... what DO they do?!

    Hope everyone is having a grand day. Keping this short as the BP haven't let me through for days!

    Have a great show! You always inspire, Mr E!

    Huggles,

    Susan, Highland lass

  16. At 05:26 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Parker wrote:

    The mind is a terrible thing to waste
    An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "To the kitchen." She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replies, "Sure."She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that." She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replies, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."

  17. At 05:37 PM on 19 Feb 2007, anna wrote:

    Hmm... chris - I think you will find that there absolutely was/is a market for a really happy and contented and what am I going to cook tonight author. look back at your former blogs.....

    sadly, some numpties complained that we were all having too much fun, you didnt do anything to help ease matters either way and consequently the blog is dyeing a slow and painful death.

    shame that, i loved reading (and commenting on) your stories of wizards, recipes, dreams, home improvement quandaries and the like.

    oh, how things change.

  18. At 05:52 PM on 19 Feb 2007, moose wrote:

    Chris,
    I am desperately disappointed...

    But if the replacement for the Fox doesn't work out, I will be able to swallow my pride and still offer my services. I am available.

    Fox the Moose is the way forward!!!

    Moose

    PS 70 grand...huh! Just wait...

  19. At 06:20 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Jill wrote:

    Hi Chris and other friends here

    Someone said 'an experience isn't complete until I've written about it'. I know what he meant. Although I DO remember most special things, I love to write them down in a little notebook somewhere - not to show anyone else, but just as a way of helping me to remember them.

    Maybe that's another spur to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.

    Enjoying the show... Off to listen better

    Kisses, hugs and so'rn xxxxxx Jill

  20. At 06:20 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Simon wrote:

    Greetings!

    I thought this blog was meant to be a bit light?

    Em 26 - sorry girl, life's tough so if you can't have someone, you just do get over it (or you don't.) If you don't life's pretty horrible, if you do, it gets better.

    How do you "know" you're no good for your partner? He/she may think you are good for them. But, if you're not it is up to them to take that decision. Perhaps he/she is not good for you and you are trying to externalise it.

    If you have got the "hots" for someone else, scratch the itch and see what happens - it's unlikely to be pretty but at least you'll know what may have been.

    Anyway, that's what I think.

  21. At 07:44 PM on 19 Feb 2007, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    Evening all

    Was in the middle of blogging this afternoon about how I was about to go into a boring meeting (not hard to prejudge them - they're always boring) and that I should make it out just in time for the show and the wretched thing crashed on me.

    And the (very) boring meeting went on past 6.00.

    So, only caught the last 40 min or so.

    Anyway, hope everyone is well.

    As one of the Chris Evans Blog Twilight Club For Terminal Insomniacs, I was going to recommend watching the Sleep Club programme tonight.

    But it's on way after my bedtime.

    Happy days.

    MfR

    PS Johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine.

    PPS I love it loud.

  22. At 10:34 AM on 20 Feb 2007, wrote:

    Chris

    Love the show, realise must get out to the cinema more!

    We'll really miss 'the fox', she's great.

    Martin and I have just launched our own web site selling all things organic and natural. Opening shop in 3 weeks, fast running out of time to get everything done.

    Any chance of a plug, Martin listens to the show on laptop and I listen downstairs getting kids tea ready.

    Keep up the good work

    Karen

  23. At 01:09 AM on 07 May 2007, claire duke wrote:

    Chris,

    What a life enhancer you are -so uplifting and incentivising. Hope lots of peeps come across your output. I thought I'd got it all sussed, but you've added icing to the cake.
    Just reading your stuff, even if it can't be emulated it's beneficial - brekkie, lunch and dins for the soul.

    Your views should be part of the National Curriculum, so that kids get the benefit asap. They will definately need it.

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