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ashes to ashes dust is a must

Chris Evans | 10:45 UK time, Monday, 5 March 2007

Jesus Mary and Joseph, the lady downstairs, a nice lady, quite a well known lady actually is...

... having an extension built and this morning the workmen set about demolishing all the old walls etc. The problem being however that due to the gaps in my floorboards it looks as if a bomb has gone off.

So, here's the thing i don't know what to do. I am not a grumpy person, I am not a grumpy neighbour but this simply has to stop. After the first two hours of what I'm told will be two weeks of dust mayhem my flat is literally black. The worl will have to stop, I went to butter some toast and the butter turned out black too.

What does one do in such a situation?

I think I'll have to move myself and all my stuff, like ... everything out.

I'm sorry guys but I have to go and sort this out I'm at a complete loss as to which way to turn. I mean I don't want to cause a fuss but this simply will not do.

CLP 2007

X

Comments

  1. At 11:04 AM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Poor CLP!

    That sort of disruption is not good for the soul. Did anyone inform you that these works were about to start? I think packing up "lock stock" might be a bit of a radical solution which could make you even more upset. I would think that the knocking down walls stage will be short lived but even so.... Best to go speak to nice lady and get an idea of what the work will entail. It might just be a very short lived inconvenience.

    Whatever the case... remember the wizards... something will turn up and sort it out.

    Mange Tout

    Lyndyloo
    -x-x-x-

  2. At 11:08 AM on 05 Mar 2007, wilsmar wrote:

    2nd attempt - if this duplicates, many apologies.

    So no Monday sweep then!
    Seems like Mr E could do with as many brooms/ brushes etc as he can get.
    Cheerio for now.
    Wilsmar.

  3. At 11:09 AM on 05 Mar 2007, Em M wrote:

    Hi Chris,

    I know you don't want to make a fuss but I think sometimes you have to be assertive or the resentment builds up and bang! you turn into Basil Fawlty. Seriously though, as long as you're polite I'm sure the person will understand, maybe you should show her the toast! Good luck.

    Went to a murder mystery party on Saturday, it was so much fun but I am still so tired - I just can't party like I used to!

    Em xx

  4. At 11:13 AM on 05 Mar 2007, Jainie wrote:

    Deep Breath CLP! As a good neighbour you are doing the right thing.

    If you don't tell and then she finds out through this blog, or casual converstion with someone else, she will be embarassed and wonder why you didn't say something.

    Take as long as you need, we know you will be there for us later on!

  5. At 11:30 AM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Hi Chris et al

    re: butter
    If the butter has been left covered, or in the fridge, then I'm afraid the blackness is mould. Please discard.

    re:floorboards
    If there are gaps in your floorboards that are letting in dust then I would suggest putting down a heavy rug or a carpet

    re:neighbours extension
    look on the bright side - you'll have a roof terrace at no expense to yourself

    re:moving
    It may be cheaper to hermetically seal your apartment. Or you could do what you did last time, and sell everything.

    Hope this helps

    J McC

    (This comment was brought to you by McCrumble Life-Consultants Ltd - helping bloggers everywhere)

  6. At 11:34 AM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Oh poor CLP! You really are not having much luck in your homes just now, are you?!

    I would go and have a friendly chat with the workmen ... no need to upset your neighbour, but surely there is something the wokmen can do to keep down the dust? That can't be healthy!

    Or you could get them to come upstairs and seal off every single gappy (not you Gaby!) floorboard to stop the dust coming through?

    You really don't want the hassle of moving all your stuff out ... where on earth will you go!?!

    Hope you get it sorted, honey! And if you do, post again!

    Sending lots of prayers up for patience and peace for you today, Lambie Pie!

    Huggles, Susan, Highland lass

  7. At 11:37 AM on 05 Mar 2007, john wrote:

    You can stop the work immediately. Ask them where the CDM regs exempt them from considering you? (they don't). They must assess the impact on your flat and make appropriate arrangements which as you are a national treasure should include 2 weeks all expense paid at Clariges (suite) plus cleaning and repairs to your property as appropriate. Smile now Health and Safety is on your side.

  8. At 11:37 AM on 05 Mar 2007, Nicki wrote:

    Good morning one and all,

    although it's not proving to be too good a one for our leader.

    Chris your blog this morning reminded me of some major decorating that was going on in my house a few years back, we were knocking walls down, building staircases etc. and THE DUST!!!! I thought the house would never be clean again. But after constant dusting hoovering and coughing for a few weeks all normality was restored.

    This must be even worse for you Chris as the improvements are not even for your abode!

    I truly feel for you, perhaps you could invice the nice lady up to yours for a cup of gritty tea, I'm sure sge would be very understanding.

    Good luck
    Take care
    Nicki

  9. At 11:39 AM on 05 Mar 2007, ChrissieS wrote:

    Chris!

    You poor pet lamb! What a nightmare! All you can do is speak to her about it and let her see the mess your place is in - already!

    Perhaps the builders carrying out her extension can "seal off" your floorboards somehow? Plastic coverings, tape, etc?! Sorry, just hopeless when it comes to DIY/house renovations!

    Good luck, my dove!

    C xx

    P.S. Hope everyone else is o.k. and ready to face the week!

  10. At 11:55 AM on 05 Mar 2007, moose wrote:

    Chris,
    I'd move out - rent another flat for the duration. Then suggest that this lady pays all the bills for your extra rent, cleaning the flat etc, but instead of giving the money to you, donate it all to Comic Relief instead. Then everybody ends up feeling great about a bad situation.
    You might even meet some great new people in your new location.

    Alternatively, you could fester over it all, complain and moan and everyone feels bad for a long while.

    Whichever way you decide to go, I'd advocate extreme. Go extreme. One way or the other. But don't mamby-pamby around in some compromise middle ground. That's no good to anyone.

    Moose

    PS McCrumble - maybe we should talk about a partnership deal? A bit like Sky and Virgin only more successful...

  11. At 12:02 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Matt from Rudgwick wrote:

    And a happy Monday to you Chris

    Not having much luck on the domestic front are you?

    Allergic to the haunted house in the country and now Krakatoa going off in town.

    You need to get yourself one of those houseboats you were talking about the other day.

    All that fresh air, a change of scenery when you fancy it and the noisiest neighbours you鈥檒l have are ducks.

    Anyway. Monday morning is all but over. If you go upstairs and look out of the window, you can just about see a warm glow in the distance.

    That鈥檚 the weekend and it鈥檒l be here before you know it.

    Peace & love

    MfR

    PS Monkey gone to heaven

    PPS It was a good day

  12. At 12:02 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    CLP,

    Thank's not a good start to the week. I'm afraid I'm no good with assertiveness so I'm not the best person to give advice on this one....

    You could always come and stay at mine for a couple of weeks.....

    Love and huggles

    R xox

  13. At 12:05 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Moose #10 - fantastic suggestion....

    Not been around much lately but have not forgotten you or anyone else,.....

    Love and huggles,

    R xox

  14. At 12:45 PM on 05 Mar 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Hi CLP

    I'd suggest you ask the lady concerned up to your flat on the pretext of a quiet chat, undisturbed by builders. She'll then be able to see for herself the mess that's being made to your property and hopefully you'll be able to come up with a solution to the problem.

    If you'd known about this before, of course, you'd have been prepared so she has to take some responsibility here.

    Good luck and keep us posted.

    jillygoat xx

  15. At 12:45 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Oh Christophe, I know how you feel! Had the same when we had new boiler fitted. Black everywhere due to inconsiderate plumber employed by landlord. Many spiders everywhere too.

    Was going to suggest that you ask the quite well known lady to get her builders to seal your floor a la ChrissieS - great minds think alike huh ChrissieS!

    ...and surely she should have had a survey done of some sort, which surely would have given some idea about the amount of disruption which may be caused to yourself?

    Why are you so unprepared for such onslaught? Did no-one think to mention it to you, or were you out when they popped by?

    Is girl on sofa black too, or isn't she there at the moment?

    BTW JMcC - I have black butter. This is caused by the boy burning his toast this morning because he was late and went off and left it then when he went back downstairs to eat it, scraped the black off. All over the butter.

    We also have black sky
    love
    hazel
    x

    ps Whoa black butter ram-a-lam

  16. At 12:47 PM on 05 Mar 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Jax - lovely to see you again and I really hope you're OK.

    jillygoat x

  17. At 12:55 PM on 05 Mar 2007, steve potts wrote:

    Hey Christoff and bloggers,

    What have you been doing to deserve all this house nonsense old bean.

    That scenario would drive me nuts, and nice woman or no the workmen must stop until provision has been made for a dust free enviroment.

    find out which of your freinds recorded last nights top gear and watch it again, LOL best ever episode.

    Chris Moyles engaged in pulley action to get back to his seat with his vittals, had tears rolling down my cheeks.

    Don,t go back to your place until you have assurances its ok to do so.

    Take care .

    Pottsie.

    ps Top banana book work Rock Chick MWa.

  18. At 01:09 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Nev wrote:

    I am a little worried if you really do have Jesus, Mary and Joseph living downstairs. All that dust cannot be good for a young baby and what about all of the animals..is there not a smell!

    I have always found when doing any building work... write to the neighbours to explain in advance and apologise for any inconvenience before it happens - as there will be some no matter how well you plan!

    The only solution is to make the Dyson (other makes of vacuum are available) work overtime - but remember the filter will block easily and need regular cleaning!

    Here's hoping they are not knocking down supporting walls..........!

    Nev

  19. At 01:11 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Tinsel wrote:

    Afternoon all.

    Christophe, your blog had me picturing you like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland - oh my ears and whiskers ... (at least I think it was him!!) - scurrying around getting all het up!!

    Hope it all gets sorted out soon.

    Did anyone see the lunar eclipse?? Quite eerie!

    Have great weeks all
    xxxxx

  20. At 01:15 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    hi chris and bloggers!

    I'm afraid you simply have to tell her!! When living in a apartment block people do have to think of the neighbours! It is not fair to start banging and drilling at some crazy time in the morning!
    Do some yoga breathing, it always helps!

    Who saw billie on Top Gear last night? Brillaint wasn't she even though she did cut a little corner!

    Today I am testing out the new trend of shots over tights. For those fashionistas the 80's trend of short denim shorts over thick tights is back. I have just been to Waitrose ( other supermarkets avaliable!) and I felt some people didn't get it. But now about to go for a coffee in Norwich and have a try there!

    Hope you all had a fab weekend, its such a beautiful day here, the sun is out. Has spring arrived at last?
    missy xxxx

  21. At 01:37 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Sarah wrote:

    Chill Chris, its only dust.
    Move out for a week and get your flat cleaned. A little disruption never hurts in the grand scheme of things.
    Saz

  22. At 01:41 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Tinsel (Cath...xx)

    The lunar eclipse was totally amazing! I couldn't stop looking. I watched in 15min intervals so I could see how far everything had moved since the last time...and there is another on on 3rd April hoorah!

    I had to explain, several times, to the boy that it was us in the way of the sun, he couldn't quite grasp it bless 'im (numbers is his game, he could give a certain Ms V*rderman a run for her 拢).

    He says that he doesn't get bowled over by nature like I do, then when we drove past a painting of a sunset, he oooed and aaaaahed. I have several hundred photos of sunsets, but no interest shown at all. Hey ho.

    So how much Moose goes into a Moose McCrumble, and would you need to use lard, or just unsalted butter as the healthy option?

    Todays handy hint...

    ---Pottsie luvs Mariella-->

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah xxxx

  23. At 01:48 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Oh dear, not a happy Monday. I would ask her what she would do if she were in her position (then explain the position) and that way you have your 'acceptable' answer.
    What you must remember is that for you to be put out at all is unreasonable. Your pad would be deemed unfit for human habitation if it really is as dusty as you say. Dust in the butter? Utterly unacceptable! Whatever it takes to return your pad to what it was when you went to bed last night is entirely her responsibility and should not put you out one iota. If I were her I would want to know asap so I hope that you have acted quickly. She can always claim on her or the builders insurance. No need to fall out, It's obvious it's in no way down to you. When you soeak to her just be optimistic that this will come to a satisfactory conclusion and let the wizards do the rest.
    Bon chance!.....and do let us know how it resolves.

    Debs xx

  24. At 01:59 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Moose - I'm always up for new collaborations. What did you have in mind?

    Hazel - ban the boy from your house! It is an absolute outrage that he thinks that scraping toast over butter is acceptable.

    Cupid (aka Hazel) - what on earth are you implying?

    J McC

  25. At 02:04 PM on 05 Mar 2007, moose wrote:

    Hey stupid cupid,
    Always lots of lard involved with this Moose...

    Moose :-)

    PS Well spotted on the Potts/Mariella thing. Has there ever been a blog wedding before?

    PPS Also like the Moose McCrumble name. Will have to register the domain quickly...

  26. At 02:11 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Prof Plum wrote:

    Good day

    Never one to miss a commercial opportunity I would collect dust and sell the famous ladies dust on ebay.

    Angel Dust!

  27. At 02:25 PM on 05 Mar 2007, stephen.whittam wrote:

    i love you comment about i have a lot of people
    contact on my windows live massenger my comment are what is your best thing you have for tea at night one go to the pub and get drunk or go to bed when get up out of bed you go shopping and garding thats for you mate mate
    stephen

  28. At 02:31 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    If I was you, I'd buy strawberry jelly, mix it up and drip it thru the floorboards. It's gonna make a huge mess in her ceiling and it will close the gaps in your floor, as well as leaving a nice smell.

    Failing that, pay someone to take her out.

    DWNB

  29. At 02:32 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Jillygoat - thank you for your kind words. It's good to be back in the fold...

    Love and huggles,

    Rxox

  30. At 02:34 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Bren wrote:

    At least you'll find out if it really was the dust in your second abode that caused your allergy!

  31. At 02:53 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Hello,

    I would have done a sweep but I got called to a Snitchers meeting this morning. Had to go and make a statement with regard to the flytipper that likes to leave all of his household and business rubbish down my lane. As it is, CE was relatively early and from my calculations Wilsmar was closest with 12.48 - so congrats and virtual bloggers pack on its way to you now.

    I have just taken a phone call. We have been issued with a level 5 flood alert for our property. Time to batten down the hatches, get plenty of milk and tea in and sort out the firewood. Thats the thing with living in the middle of nowhere - there is always something going on, some little twist that nature throws our way to make sure we don't take her for granted. Bring on the wellies!

    As for Pottsie loving me....well I am gorgeous (someone has to believe it), but personally I think he is trying to win favours with the sweep. All forms of flattery and bribery accepted.

    til later,

    MW, a!

    PS for pottsie x

  32. At 03:00 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Parker wrote:

    A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
    opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
    She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum
    powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said," pretend you're a
    statue."

    "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

    "Oh it's a statue," she replied," the Smiths bought one and I
    liked it so I got one for us too. No more was said, not even when they
    went to
    bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned
    with a
    sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood
    like that
    for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

  33. At 03:08 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:


    Dearest JMcC

    Given the size of our kitchen, I am lucky to only have black butter. Because he was so late, he had forgone the traditional cuppa char and bowl of weetabix (apparently oatabix now available, they sound nice, perhaps we should get some of those darling...) otherwise I would probably have had black milk, black sugar, black weetabix, black tea (with the black milk), and black bread. In fact, a whole charcoal themed breakfast, avoided by the skin of my custard.

    I have tried to ban the boy from the kitchen previously, because he does not wash up as he goes. He can get a delicious roast dinner (not black) together in there, but it is in my own interests to stay away, otherwise I would end up with size9 footprints up my front (other parts are available) because he is like the proverbial bull.

    He is the great kitchen disaster.

    He is our kitchen's 'Titanic' although there is not more kitchen under the surface.

    I'm going to stop now, except to say a BIG HALLO TO J and also to J-NOT-J

    big kissssssssses
    mwah
    moi
    love
    hazel
    x

    Only cross this field if you can do so in 9 seconds.
    The bull can do it in 10.

  34. At 03:26 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    I've thought again.

    Invoice her for all the damage and cleaning, get her to pay up, and then take her out.

    (i mean that in a soprano's type of way, as opposed to a date)
    DWNB

  35. At 03:40 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Sammie wrote:

    CLP,

    Not a good start to the week! I think you should tell your neighbour that she has been quite thoughtless in not warning you about these works and tell her what you want in terms of recompense. Moose's suggestion is the best, I think. Just because she's famous, doesn't mean that she can be rude... I bet once you;ve spoken to her, it will all be fine....

    HL - I have a similar issue with my daughter in the kitchen. Have banned her from cooking several times. Tried to explain about clearing up as you go along, etc., but to no avail. There again, she is only 15...

    Moose - top suggestion forr esolving CLP's issue - go to the top of the class! I also think that Moose McCrumble Enterprises sounds good... Look forward to your above the line marketing...

    5 hours until I see you know who!!! Excited - can barely contain myself. Sitting here with the silliest grin :-)

    Missy - how's the shorts/tights thing going? I remember that from first time round!!!

    S xx.

  36. At 03:57 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wilsmar wrote:

    Mw,a - I think as there were so few in the sweep you should rescind my winners status today - I thank you for the offer of virtual goodies but they are completely undeserved. (Perhaps an acceptance speech would have been shorter?)
    On a serious note - batten down all your hatches and latches - I hope you stay dry despite the warning.
    I wonder if Mr E will play David Bowie - title at top of page - on tonights show?
    Still in a draught!
    Wilsmar

  37. At 04:05 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    #35 Sammie
    Tights and shorts rock. I feel strangly empowered. They make my legs seem so long!!

  38. At 04:07 PM on 05 Mar 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Sammie - take heart!! At least your daughter knows where the kitchen is!!!

    My mum told me time and time again to keep a bowl of hot, soapy water on the go so that I could wash up as I went along. It didn't make any difference at 15 but when I got married at 21 it was automatic, so hang on in there for a few more years!!!!

    Good luck with this evening - glad he's been promoted from a date - this is indeed great progress - and isn't it wonderful to feel like you're feeling ?!!!!

    jillygoat xx

  39. At 04:08 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Rachel wrote:

    Chris,

    Instead of looking at the problem and what caused it , look at the solution.

    the answer is easy.

    1. Hire a cleaner to come in 3 times a day ( or more if required) while the building work is going on and for a couple of weeks afterward until all the dust settles. Bare in mind that "the knocking down bit" is going to be the worst, so that should be all over with in a day or two.

    2. Don't get stressed or annoyed , it's not worth it.

    3. If all that dust can get into your flat from the floor below think about all the free heat you've had ... :)

    4. Don't sleep with your mouth open. :)

    See it's not so bad.....just

    Keep smiling

    Rachel x

  40. At 04:08 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Tinsel wrote:

    DWNB - ha ha - love it!!

    Also quite like the jelly option but could be a bit sticky.

  41. At 04:09 PM on 05 Mar 2007, sally wrote:

    Talking about dust and teenagers making a mess, I just remembered....

    I was in the shower at the weekend, and as the bathroom window steamed up I noticed one of my delightful teenage boys had drawn a large phallic symbol on the window.

    Must give the window a good scrub, as I'm sure the neighbours will be able to make it out....

  42. At 04:34 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    I've thought about it again....

    Sell your story to the papers, then smoke her out the flat.

    DWNB

  43. At 04:45 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Ummm 鈥. not trying to be sacrilegious here, but Numpty Cameron has already laid claim to Jesus, Mary and Joseph! If CLP thinks they are sitting covered in dust in his flat, it just proves how way off the mark Numpty was!! J

    And didn鈥檛 you just have cleaners in, Christophe?! I鈥檇 be well miffed!

    Em M - I鈥檇 love to do a murder mystery!

    J McC - love the quip about roof terrace!

    Jax is bax!

    Hazel love - you crack me up! How did you get to be so witty!?

    Tinsel - we saw the lunar eclipse in Aviemore - awesome! The next one is on the evening of the Scottish CLP Bloggers鈥 Meet in Glasgow!

    Missy - what are shots over tights?!?

    Stupid cupid - Moose McCrumble - lol!!

    Mariella / Potts - can I go get a new hat?!

    DWNB - you are naughty!

    Mariella - hope the flooding doesn鈥檛 come to anything! Want us all to pop round to give you a hand moving stuff upstairs? Stick kettle on, we鈥檒l be round in a jiffy! I鈥檓 sure Pottsie will be round directly!

    Hazel love / Sammie - my hubby is just as much a disaster in the kitchen 鈥 the bathroom 鈥 the bedroom 鈥 the living room 鈥 the car 鈥. need I go on?!

    Huggles!

    Susan, Highland lass

    10 minutes to go!

  44. At 04:52 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Caroline wrote:

    Hello chaps, chapettes, the lovely Chris, and the fab drivetime team
    Have been busy, and hardly time to read as well as comment
    Poor you CLP
    Moose has best suggestion 鈥 whole hog鈥xtreme鈥oor old Enzo, how鈥檇 he coping?
    Do Claridges accept big dogs?

    Honestly, it鈥檚 not only a bit of dust..I was having my bathroom done, I did not think the plumber would be using the airing cupboard, and he did鈥lack dust all over my clean sheet, duvet covers, pillow cases =N I G H T M A R E. You have to make a fuss as firmly as you can..Do it politely鈥ou can do that; you鈥檙e a well brought up chap!

    MooseMccrumble..could be a new variety from 鈥淕o Ahead鈥 (other biscuits are available) or chilled dessert aisle鈥 A huge Viral marketing campaign..get yourselves on U Tube and see how many friends you can get!

    Hazel, there are some things that you just have to love them for, but black butter isn鈥檛 one of them!

    Off now..goodbye, see you soon
    Note to self..Join in a bit more on CE blog or you鈥檒l get left behind!
    Love Caroline

  45. At 05:15 PM on 05 Mar 2007, The Kate wrote:

    Go get 'em Tiger....

    An outrageous find on a monday morning !
    Simply not on.... go and give 'em hell....

    K
    x

  46. At 05:27 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    OMG! Why did no-one tell me Nic was auditioning? I could have dressed up as a prop or hid behind a camera and maybe got an introduction... Hey-ho! another missed opportunity!

  47. At 05:31 PM on 05 Mar 2007, spoodle doo wrote:

    Fear not christophe Im having 'one of those days' dont be beaten by it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Keep the smile on your face and visit the offy on the way home :)

  48. At 05:34 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Danny Dayglow wrote:

    recycling the jokes and facts so you don`t have to...


    Facts of the 1500鈥檚

    Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still

    smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

    * * * * * *
    Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

    * * * * * *
    Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

    * * * * * *
    There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

    The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."

    * * * * * *
    The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."


    In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

    * * * * * *
    Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."


    * * * * * *
    Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
    * * * * * *
    Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."
    * * * * * *
    Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."
    * * * * * *
    England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

  49. At 05:38 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Sandi wrote:

    Put Marmite on your toast and the dust won't show - works for me!
    Sand
    x

  50. At 05:47 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Hi Chris

    sorry about your predicament - apart from moving out for a bit theres not a lot you can do really. We are having some building workd starting in 4 weeks so I will then know how you feel.

    Anyway, just a little idea I had (not original by any stretch) just in case you ever fancy an excuse for a do - why not have a meeting for all the people called Chris Evans (both male and female). might be a laugh....

    oh and yes, I do have a vested interest - my son happens to be called Chris Evans too

    golddigger

  51. At 05:48 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Peni wrote:

    Hiya Christoffe
    Gotta agree with Pottsie re Top Gear last night - I particularly liked the bit when LaMarr lost it and got out in a huff to walk to the Brits - classic...see it and it will cheer you....

    On the dust front - I know how you feel. 'Im indoors knocked out part of a wall about two weeks ago.....THE DUST IS DRIVING ME MENTAL. I spent about 3 hours this morning cleaning some of it up - for the seventy fifth time.

    And he has this wood habit. He loves cutting up wood. Ok, he makes great furniture with it, but my vac doesn't like sawdust, so doesn't matter how often I clear it up, there's always more.......and I'm on my third vac this year. ah well.
    Happy Monday all....only one more day til Life on Mars
    Peni xx

  52. At 06:04 PM on 05 Mar 2007, wrote:

    #43 Susan S. They are denim shorts worn over thick tights. A very 80's look and the thing to wear now!!

  53. At 06:10 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Sheppy wrote:

    What a shame Chris, nevermind here's a little poem to help you forget all about dusting.

    Dust if you Must

    Dust if you must,
    but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture, or write a letter,
    bake a cake, or plant a seed.
    Ponder the difference between want and need.

    Dust if you must,
    but there is not much time, with rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
    music to hear and books to read,
    friends to cherish and life to lead.

    Dust if you must,
    but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
    a flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
    this day will not come around again.

    Dust if you must,
    but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind.
    And when you go, and go you must,
    you, yourself, will make more dust.

    Author unknown - I first heard this poem read out on our local bbc radio station. Good though eh

    Good luck with the work, it'll soon be all over.

    Sheppy

    xx

  54. At 06:51 PM on 05 Mar 2007, martin james wrote:

    CLP

    Why opt for a custodial sentence when we can both be free and winners?

    PAX
    QED


  55. At 09:48 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Catbird wrote:

    Oh, poor Chris, and there was me thinking I'd had a hard day. All your bloggers are thinking of you.
    I desperately wanted to see the lunar eclipse, but unfortunately I got home after work (which of course should be banned on Saturdays, but isn't!) and was so cream crackered that I dozed off and missed it - d'oh! Note to self - stay awake next time.
    Lots of love & squillions of cuddles,
    Catbird xxx

  56. At 11:01 PM on 05 Mar 2007, Mr Sheene wrote:


    What you going to get?
    Dust Busters
    DUST can be captured on infra red camera manifesting as white globes of light, black dust or a ghostly apparition.

  57. At 04:41 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Ah CLP!

    I have lovely neighbours all around me who like to drill, bang, rant, shout, swear, wreck the place etc..... I try to suffer with good humour, I did say I TRY! Even when some of them left me a (not too bad looking) sofa out side my door tonight, thanks for that!

    Toast is Black?!

    That is bad form, thats the deal breaker!
    Don't mess with Toast, its just not cricket old chap.
    Toast is the essential start and end to a day, what finer pleasure in life is there? I have yet to find it

    Spacemonkey (AKA Caroline)

  58. At 07:29 AM on 06 Mar 2007, Victor Obinna wrote:

    TV Programming


    You would have thought that getting the viewers to audition the next TV hitshow was a no-brainer because what emerges guarantees instant success, but TV executives and progam commissioners aren't that smart.Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber is not afraid to ask his prospective audience to audition his next show,so what are TV bosses afraid of.They are more interested in having control over who supplies shows to their channel rather than do everything to get the best shows irrespective of who it is coming from.They don't care about TV viewers.

    Task For Chris Evan?
    ++++++++++++++

    Who is the best Programme creator in the county right now?For your information,that's me.I own the best gameshow in the world.It is called 'TKO'.I own the best variety show as well.It is called 'Neighbourhood Watch'.I own other gameshows as well, 'Postman's Packet and 'Bankrupt'. all are miles better than Deal or No Deal or Millionaire, Weakest Link, Pokerface or any others you might think of, and all have great syndication value.

    If you doubt that,why don't you get any TV channel to stage a viewer auditioning.I know that they have aways claimed that it is going to be some kind of logistical nightmare.I've even heard you repeat the same mantra on the day the Endemol guy appeared on your radio show.That's not true and I will tell you how easy it is to organise such a competition.

    Rules To Be Applied
    ==============

    1. To place all entrants on an equal footing,you use the same production unit to produce all shows

    2. Cost of production must be same to the last penny

    3. Since the intention is to discover real creative talent,no celebrity or known name,or scantily clad bimbos should appear or present in any of the shows.There must also be no props or costumes or exotic locations.

    4.Creators of the show must not be identified to viewers or to the press.Let the creative power of the individual speak for him.

    5. The TV channel can choose any of three categories; Gameshows,light-entertainment/comedy and variety show.The same rules outlined above apply to all three categories.

    6.New proramme creators as well as established names are all welcome,but they will all work within the same straightened set of circumstances set out above.I want to kick their butt. I want to demonstrate that I have greater creative ability than they have at endemol and other big prduction houses.

    7. The TV station organising it will show it as some kind of marathon show in which the viewers vote for which gameshow they want to see more of and ditto for other categories as well.The TV station cannot loose.They will have a lot of interested viewers while showcasing the different material.Remember that American Idol is just as compulsive to view, from the time the no-hopers are auditioning right till the time a worthy idol emerges.Above all they will also end up with shows that are bound to be cast iron successes because they have practically been chosen by those who will spend lots of evening watching it.

    You might think that every man and his dog will be taking part.No.You do not need to advertise the show.Myself and a few other people who may have been seriously knocking at the door will compete.This will be a first, but in future others will get their chance.

  59. At 08:28 AM on 06 Mar 2007, Gaby wrote:

    Chris,

    You poor babe. I am so late commenting, I think everything has been said by our friends already and I am in such a rush to go to work that I haven't even time to read everyone's comments. Oh what a hopeless old blogger I am.

    Keep smiling my friend - something good is going to come out of this.

    Moose and McCrumble - do you need an agent? I am sure there is already a patent pending on such a collaboration so 'we' are half way there.

    This time next year, my friends, we will be millionaires.

    Susan S - lol : )

    Gaby
    x

  60. At 08:42 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wrote:


    Now, Rachel, I am grinning like a mad person, but be that as it may, 'Don't sleep with your mouth open' has to be the out and out winner! Sooooo good to have you back honey! Hope all is ok in Angel world xxx

    ...and wilsmar xxx

    M.W.a! The weather here was atrocious last night so it must have been a lot worse where you are. Please remember not to feed the ducks bread otherwise it's the devil's own job to get dried bread duck cr*p out of your soft furnishings. Seriously though, keep safe and warm and stack those sandbags high honey! (Alternately, you could always curl up with Pottsie...aaaah)

    laters chickens
    love
    hazel
    x

    ps Gaby is a stalker, Gaby is a stalker, nur nur nur nur nuuuuur

    pps and Sheppy, what a SUPERB poem. Am gonna print it out, frame it, and hang it at home as a monument to Housework Sluts everywhere. Thank you for that!

    ppps dust. Who needs it eh?

  61. At 09:02 AM on 06 Mar 2007, mulbartonboy wrote:

    Moose-Mcrumble......and Custard. yum yum.
    this time next year you could be millionaires!

    keep smiling everyone. (people never know why)

  62. At 09:03 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wrote:

    Good morning, Christophe!

    Hoping and praying you have woken to a better day today! I was just thinking last night about the joys and sorrows of neighbours.

    We too live in a flat, though I'm sure yours is far swankier than ours! below us is a single Mum (not even remotely famous, but becoming quite infamous!) and her 14 year old daughter, whom we know through a club we used to run.

    They have a very volitile relationships, but 2 weeks ago we were subjected to 2 hours of the daughter trying to get out of her locked bedroom by screaming, crying and kickingthe doors and walls. What worried me was that we could hear nothing from the Mum - usually it's a 2 way battle.

    So, much as I hated to, I phoned the police, stressing to them the importance of NOT coming to our door. As I came off the phone, my hubby came back in from the bins and say the daughter had managed to get out her window and had taken off .... but not before Numpty Hubby told her I'd phoned the police cos Iwas worried about them! Like she won't tell her Mum!

    Anyway, despite my fears, there has been little backlash from it - our tyres are still intact, our animals still alive, our trees still growing (yes .... I really was that woried!). But .... the police have been out every couple of days since then, though not called by me!

    IOt took us 3 1/2 years to get back on the property market and buy this place - and it has plans for 2 rooms in the loft area - but I'm kind of panicing about our future here ... and we just can't emotionally, mentally or financially afford to move again.

  63. At 09:09 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wilsmar wrote:

    Before this kicks off today.................
    I'm hijacking it for a second - BP allowing - to say
    Hope you're well Ms Love - left a comment on your diary 20/2. Hope the sunshine is soon on the East Sussex coast for you.
    For now.
    Wilsmar
    PS Voulez vous cuchet avec ...........

  64. At 09:38 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wrote:

    HL and Wilsmar
    up a tree
    k
    i
    s
    s
    i
    n
    g!

  65. At 09:39 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wrote:

    OOOOOPPPPPPSSSS!

    Apologies .... thought Wilsmar was someone else!!!!! Forgive me girls?????!!!

    Blogging off now!

  66. At 09:57 AM on 06 Mar 2007, Em M wrote:

    Susan S - I really feel for you, living near dodgy neighbours must be a nightmare, we are so lucky that on both sides our next door neighbours are a dream (in that they never bother us apart from to give us a parcel that has been dropped off with them when we're out!),

    We live in a cul-de-sac and many of our neighbours have become our friends, and the kids all get on, but sometimes it can become a bit full-on; in the summer they all like to get together for a "burn" (sitting round a fire in eachother's gardens) or a street barbie, and if we are doing something else or just feel like staying in to watch the telly we can feel as if we are snubbing them a bit, but that is a minor problem, so my heart goes out to you. Your home is your castle, where you can pull up the drawbridge and shut out the outside world, and if you feel anxious a lot of the time it can affect your mental wellbeing. Hope it all works out.

    Em xx

    PS Keep meaning to say, I am reading an excellent book The Night Watch by Sarah Waters, the person who wrote Fingersmith, another great read. Get it, you'll love it.

  67. At 10:19 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wilsmar wrote:

    Highland Lassie is forgiven, but any more libellous action will result in DWNB being contacted for swift retribution....... Soprano style! I think she may know a man "who does".
    Love to Charis and Amy.
    Wilsmar
    PS: AA

  68. At 10:20 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wrote:


    Oh dear. SusanS. What shall we do with you.

    I think we shall have to tie you to the tree and you can wait for the bears. I'm sure lyndyloo would lend them for the duration.

    wilsmar, I saw you, but the Work BP stopped my blog for a while, so I can't get into it a lot of the time! We have Foxes Crunch Creams today (other types of sandwich biscuits available) so may I suggest today's 'Dunk In'? 11am.

    Romans IV Thessalonians 0

  69. At 10:42 AM on 06 Mar 2007, jillygoat wrote:

    Hazel Love - I love Fox's Crunch Creams (or any other biscuit come to that!) so may I please join you for the dunk-in?

    Good to see you today and hope you're feeling better xxx

    jillygoat


  70. At 11:05 AM on 06 Mar 2007, cathmel wrote:

    Am I too late for the dunk in? I'm starving!!

    x x

  71. At 11:18 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wilsmar wrote:

    Hazel, you make a lovely cup of tea. Next time I shall bring the biscuits - or bake for the occasion. Jillygoat you're invited too.
    Mr E didn't make the Dunk In time did he?
    Wilsmar
    PS The washing up's done.

  72. At 11:24 AM on 06 Mar 2007, wilsmar wrote:

    Forgot you Cathmel................. you're invited too. Funny how these get togethers get planned when there's iffy weather.
    SusanS - forgot to thank you for the thought that I could actually get up a tree and it wouldn't then collapse.
    Wilsmar
    PS No Doughnuts for our Dunk Ins.
    PPS Shame!!

  73. At 11:51 AM on 06 Mar 2007, Sammie wrote:

    Morning schmorning!

    Back in the big bad office today - so posting is a bit of a nightmare...

    You're all having so much fun though - it's great to read!

    Had a lovely time last night, except was marred slightly by the fact that in my rush to get ready (best laid plans and all that), I broke my little toe (I think - have done it before...). OUCH!!!

    Have driven to work in Birckenstocks (other sandal attire is available) and then rammed my foot into lovely stilettoes. I arrived at my desk, hobbling, nearly in tears and decided that I don't care what anyone thinks and have replaced the death shoes (look lush though) with comfier things. I'm due in the Metropolis tomorrow, but that trek across town really doesn't appeal at present....

    Susan S - I'm sorry to hear about your neighbours - I too have been lucky (touch wood), but as has rightly been stated - your home is your castle, where you have a right to feel safe. Huggles to you and yours.

    The weather last night was scary - I battled with my car all the way home and had to avoid bits of tree and recycling bins in the road - not pleasant at all. Really felt for the lorry drivers on the M1 - stay safe all!

    Righty, I'll try to have a look later, once himself has blogged.

    Later!

    S xx.

    P.S. Beautiful day and quite warm in the sun too! Spring is in the air....

  74. At 10:21 AM on 07 Mar 2007, leon marley wrote:

    tell the lady you want compensation for your rotten toast. how very dare she have your toast disturbed....its a shock to anyones system is that.

  75. At 08:43 PM on 07 Mar 2007, Tony Smith wrote:

    Nail some dust sheets over the floor boards

  76. At 10:24 PM on 05 May 2007, John Malin wrote:

    Chris,

    I listen a lot to Radio 2 and tonight while transcribing the Gloucestershire Inclusure acts thought I would listen to Radio 2 after hearing ar repeat of Desmond Carrington from last Tuesday. Since 2130hrs to 2215 whoever is on is crude and should not be broadcasting. I know it is nothing to do with your excellent programme but can you pass on my complaint please.

    John Malin

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