WIFELESS AND IT'S ALL FALLING APART
So last night the new wife nearly became...
...the nine fingered new wife, after she successfully put her hand in the electric whisk and then, for some unknown reason,turned it back on, what a sillius billius. Now she's alright but she's not here, she's gone to the seamstress to have the dangly flapping bits sewn back on.
Re-bleeding in the evening, throbbing in the night and that wasn't even her finger, ha ha ! No but really she has had to go the hossie because your fingers is your fingers and yous have to look after them.
Now here's the thing, the first morning apart and it's almost ten o'clock, I am at the airfield but that's just about it, I am unwatered, unfed, I have forgotten my phone, my log book, I've left the oven on...basically I'm totally at sixes and then the sevens. My goodness me how quickly we learn and how quickly we forget. It's not that Tash does everything, it's just that we do everything together and when the hour hand falls off the clock - no one has a clue what time it is.
But hey ho, there you go, it is a truly beautiful day down here on the south coast and when I return home to the farm, hopefully everything will be back to normal, fingers crossed.
CLP 2007.
X.
P.S. How good was Marco Pierre White last night, genius...
"So tell me, why are you famous ?"
At last.
Comments
Ouch, ouch and triple ouch!! I hope Mrs E will still be able to wield a golf club! It's amazing how quickly you come to rely on your partner being there and how easily you fall into a routine. The downside is that when they're not around, even for a few days, things can go awry, as you've found today!
MPW - how brilliant is he!! He's knocked the previous three chefs into a cocked (or should that be cooked) hat.
Debbie - hope your little boy had a good birthday. Will be thinking of you on Wednesday when you give your speech. Can I suggest that you look for an inanimate object in the distance, and when you make your speech, fix your eyes on it. It will seem as if you're looking at people, but you won't be distracted, and hopefully this will help you.
jillygoat xx
You two just sound the sweetest couple. Hope Mrs E's fingers get better soon.
Am trying to get my head round my childminding paperwork. I think I need a secretary.
xx
Ah Jeaysus Christoffe bless yous.
Yous is not far off the dire state of my dear cousin Barry, who, when his long-suffering missus was rushed into hospital recently with severe stomach pains, rang her at six in the morning in a state of panic.
"Hello?" slurs she, a little woozily.
"Do I have sugar in me tea?" came the response.
Needless to say she hung up and phoned the Social Services.
Anyway to the lovely Tash. It's not a good idea to stick yer finger where it's not necessary sweetheart.
Take note of my mother Renee, in a right ragin' sulk with the Dear Depatred Father and therefore in full Martyr mode on the business end of the Flymo. Flymo grinds to a shuddering halt with a stone caught in the blades, Renee goes off to get a knife to extricate said stone, but fails to turn off the power.
The scene as I arrived was remeniscent of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and as I followed the trail of blood and gore up the hall and into the abbatoir, sorry, kitchen, there's Renee, face like last night's dim sum, finger hangin' off.
"Mother, what the hell have you done?" I shrieked.
"I know. Look at that. That's me best fish knife ruined."
Take care one and all. It's a jungle out there.
Clodagh.xx
Oh dear Poor Mrs E, hope she gets on ok. Reminds me a bit of the time I was cutting through labels at work and left my finger in the way. Strange how we do these things isn't it?
I totally forgot to watch Hell's Kitchen and turned the tv over just as it finished. I didn't even get to find out which celebs were on it, still don't know! Looking forward to slobbing out on the sofa and catching up with it tonight.
ChrissieS and Jillygoat, thanks for the advice. I was going to look for a friendly face either side of the church but you are right. I'll seek out an inanimate object and glance up at that. I still can't really believe that I'm doing it but I will get through it. Little man had a lovely day and told me at least twice it was the best birthday. Bless him.
Em M, having one just about to start school/nursery and one just left, I fully understand why you are anxious. Don't worry about him being late, at least the whole crowd on the bus are late with him. I really hope that he gets on ok today, it's a whole new adventure for him x
Bye for now,
Debbie x
Gretings CLP & ALL Blog Friends,
Bingo Star ere.
Oh my goodness gracious...... I'm getting the shivers just thinking about it.
I hope it's not too serious CLP with the finger.
You know I feel anger friend. Yes ANGER!!!!!!
Doesn't life just 'ave ter bring yer down when yer up...... I can feel some song lyrics in 'ere somewhere.
Anyway.... errrr.... yeah.... life 'as ter bring yer down.
CLP & Natasha, you've just 'ad a glreat time. The Wedding, the honeymoon, the drivetime shoe and a spiffa of a weekend and then that 'appens.
I being abit lighthearted but seriously I'm sorry ter hear the bad news.
Chow!
PS I'll leave me joke I 'ad for another day.
Chris,
Poor wee Natasha! What a fright she must have got, not to mention how sore it must be! Chris, that lassie will need some serious TLC for quite some time to come.
And I understand you are missing her - it's amazing how we come to depend on our partner so much.
Please tell Tash that we are all thinking of her - and in the meantime try to get yourself organised with a sandwich at lunchtime!
C xx
P.S. Clodagh - hilarious as usual!
Morning, it sure is a beautiful day.
MPW was fantastic last night, although my partner has now picked up on his saying, 'Apologise or walk away' a tad too much for my liking!
Roll on this evening.
S
xx
morning team.
Hope that you are all well. Couldn't sleep much this morning after a hectic night shift. Off to pick up parents this afternoon from Stansted, hmmm, nice and jammed on the M11 I bet?
EmM - hope day one at bigboy school goes well. Diss High?
CLP - best wishes to MrsE, hope she's home soon with all 10 still there?
MfR - I agree, that's one day pass I'd struggle to get too. Oh well, hopefully I can gloat on here the next morning (doubt it tho')
Still in shock at Heskey back in the England squad.....
....need more coffee.
Bonnet de douche
KWx
Oowie oowie!
Poor thing! Hope your better half is recovering away now!
It is amazing how much you become reliant on your partner/pal/matey/wifey/husbandy for the day to day things. As we marked 7 months of marriage and 7 years a-together, I did wonder how on earth did I survive that time before we met! Mad I know, but there's an added quality when there's two of you.
MPW? Well it ain't called Hells Kitchen for nothing...but if it was me, never complain...never!! At least not at that restaurant!
Tickle :)
Awwww how sweet, falling to pieces after such a short time... Please pass on our well wishes to Tash and in future make sure that dangerous objects are kept well out of her way! It's your responsibility as a loving hubby you know :)
MPW absolutely brilliant and very very scary!!! Wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him for one second! In fact I'm not sure that he's not just a weeny bit unhinged. It'll make for a brilliant series though. And what can I say about Angus? Genius!!!
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Kitchens are dangerous one and all
Can't tell you how many chip fires I've had in my kitchen. Usually every few years when I decide I need to claim on insurance for a new one.
Close shave for Tash, hope it gets better soon.
Hell's kitchen though. What a scream. The usual bad tempered Chef asking "who are you".
I once had a job as a waiting on. When times were hard like. One night, I dropped a plate of Scampi. The Chef went mad as it was the last avaible. I had no alternative but to scrape it up off the floor and serve it.
No one was the wiser and I got a great tip.
Chris,
Ooh, poor Mrs E - hope all is ok now; and you, out of sorts as you are apart...bless ya.
Have been away for weekend. No, not THAT sort of weekend. A little last minute mini-break with the kids before school. Actually, it's been the only break we've had in a long while, but that's another story.
Gingembre - are you going to 'the fortress' for either of the games over the next week? Ooh, talking of football, while we were away this weekend I happened upon a conversation with this guy about the beautiful game. The chat was excellent and much appreciated by me that he didn't patronise me or come out with that old favourite (seemingly) line 'do you watch football just so that you can look at the players' legs?'!......we had a chat about the game and he treated my comments with the respect that they deserve...and even as if they had been uttered by a fellow male!! Cheers mate and cheers to you, Gingembre for indulging my footie interests on this forum : )
Laters lovelies,
Gaby
xx
ps is it too early to put the spuds in?
pps mange tout, mange tout
ppps oh, seeing as we are talking 'footie' : ) ........ironic that my last 3 boyfriends haven't liked football at all and I love it !! lol !!!
pppps Call me irresponsible
Poor Mrs E. :(
TLC in large amounts tonght then...
De x
PS ditch the electric whisk and get a balloon
whisk.....
Gaby
I gave my tickets for the Russia game to a work colleague so he could take his son for an 18th bday gift and I'm working for the other.
IMO - Cashley Cole has a fight on his hands, your boy Nicky looks more than capable of holding down the left back berth. A bit of competition will only benefit the team as whoever has the #3 shirt will want to keep it.
Perhaps I'm the jinx of fortress wembley, they haven't won either game at the new pad. Mind you I never saw a defeat at the old 'un!!!
Jean Pierre Papin
KWx
Hope it wasn't the finger bearing that shiny new wedding ring............ :-0
xx
ooouuuccccchhhhhhhhhhhh!
I trust that said finger is now in situ and is bound in healing stuff.
CLP is defo on chores for the rest of the week!
Leb x
Ello CLP & ALL Blog Friends,
Bingo Star ere.
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM!!!!!
Can anybody out there 'elp me.
What's 'appened is i've bought a pot of humorous. No sorry it's called 'houmous'.
I've never 'ad it before (sheltered lifestyle I've 'ad, I know).
I only got it as it was in the reduced section at me local supermarket. I thought it looked nice, abit like a cross between bread sauce and coleslaw.
But know i've got it 'ome I don't know what it goes with.
Any ideas anyone?
Does it go with errr chips?
CLP can you 'elp? You know various TOP chefs!
Chow!
Bingo
Only one place for humous and thats to mail it in an envelope second class to your worst enemy.
I'm not sure what the dish is called though.
Christophe, know just what you mean re spiders webs over the face,(last night's show) so here are a couple of tips.
Walk up and down the garden waving your arms infront of you....don't worry about what the people next door think,OR pretend you're Hans Solo or Luke Skywalker doing lightsabre practice with a big stick, if you are accompanied by the new Mrs E I can bet my last £ the sight of you cavorting throught the undergrowth will take her mind off a throbbing, mutilated digit!
We do the strangest things.
with out thinking about it.
my wife went to give her mother a taste of her food when we were out for food a few years ago.
as she place the fork with the food on into her mothers mouth.
her mum closed her mouth around the fork.
at this point the wife pushed the fork into the back of her mouth.
scary i know and to this day she doesnt know why she did it.
her mum was ok just shocked.
so your good wife might have known that her hand was in there but turned it on anyway.
who knows with women they are wired up different to guys
Re BINGO STAR #17
Houmous........ delicious.......
my dog and i often tend to devour a tub of the stuff by dipping rice cakes in it, although very recently i have taken to munching it with garlic stuffed olives and cheese, washed down with a glass of slightly chilled red......
Not to every ones taste i'm sure, but works for me....
Enjoy experimenting
xx
Be warned tho, it can get very addictive..... or is that just me?????
(((Tash))) hoping your finger is all better soon.
MPW was absolute genius! "The scampi was lifeless ... of course it was lifeless, it was dead"
ha ha ha
xxxxxxxxx
Bingo, isn't it for repointing walls???
Alwight Ter ALL Bloggers,
Bingo Star ere.
Thanks ter everyone out there for your advice.
I'm off ter get a some envelopes, a dog, some rice cakes and a pointing trowel.
I knew this humous waz a BIG bargain.
I've opened it and it smells ....... errrrr.. abit NUTTY!!!!!
Chow!
Oh no all that blood....hope she is OK now.
Not sure whether I enjoyed MPW or not, some funny put downs other bits too cringe making - will see how the series develops. Can't work out how they produced all those meals when none of them seemed to have a real clue what they were doing.
As to Nigella - is it me or did she leave the dishwasher open all night?
Nev
First up.
Houmous (or, indeed, hummus).
Make your own.
Dead easy. Chickpeas, garlic, tahini and lemon juice. You can add a little yoghurt if you prefer it creamy. Whizz it up. Delish. Ooh, there I go all Jamieish. Keep it nicely coarse and nutty. Much better than the rubbish you get in supermarkets. We knock up a job lot at the weekend, and it keeps us going all week. Don't worry about the garlic, we haven't seen a vampire around Rudgwick for a while now.
Nigella. Whilst I really want to like her, I struggle with the multi-millionaire moaning about her busy, hectic housewife lifestyle. How many staff did you employ at the last count?
And MPW. Mmmm.
I like him and respect his position in the whole cheffy food chain, but I am not sure about HK.
He comes across a little too godfather and whilst I understand his 'back in the kitchen after years in the wilderness' thing, it does strike me that, despite all his effing and blinding, our Gord does seem to run a tighter, slicker operation.
Oh this isn't good. I'm getting sucked into the vortex that is reality TV and I have an opinion about it.
Thats it. The TV goes.
But then, The Restaurant is on tomorrow. I'll get rid of it when that finishes.
Much peace & love
MfR
PS The way you squeeze my lemon
PPS Like I'm slowly, slowly, slowly slipping under
PPPS Blind Lemon Jefferson
ouch with the fingers...theres a saying there about having your fingers in more than one blender or is it cake anyway you still sound very much loved ip clp...great geust on the show again ..
hmmmm so Mrs E done a bit of finger damage eh? Well thats nothing my Dad who is a complete maniac nearly cut my mums pinkie off completely last week. Eeek yes almost completlely severed with a CHAIN SAW. I said he was mad, he is though, completely stark staring mad. What sort of a man is it that takes a chainsaw to his wifes finger for goodness sake? I phoned them then went round cos there was no answer and finally tracked them down at A&E cos I arrived at their home to find a bit of tree stuck in mid air. THen I shouted at him cos he is stupid. Then he got upset cos he knows he is stupid. Mum is 75 it is time chainsaws were no longer a threat to her.
JK Nonegreen
tuesday on your show you had the cool guy talking about pizzas how can i get hold of a copy of his newsletter has he got a website?