THE TIPPING POINT (TUBBY WISE, THAT IS)
Marriage dilemma number 164...
... so yesterday here's what went on.
I was at the flying school, early bird style. With me, and bear in mind I'd be out all day, I had a banana, a big pear and some thick doorstop ham sandwiches topped off with home grown sweet onion, delicious... I ate them all during the course of the morning and mighty tasty they were too. In the afternoon I had the now famous cornish pasty in the sauna as well as my good boy d.j. choccie biccie that I told you about. During the show, I drank two litres of water and agood boy cup of tea.
On the way home I always call Nat, sometimes to say hello, other times to have a discussion about "stuff" which means we don't have to get to heavy during our "us" time. During this conversation we nearly always discuss our dinner plans. Now last night I was still quite full from the food of the day and all the liquid, however it transpired that Nat had been hard at the stove for the last hour cooking up a Jamie oliver stuffed chicken breast storm, along with four cheese mash, fresh peas and a red wine and sun dried tomato gravy. What could I do ? I couldn't let the poor girl down. I arrived home and spent the next half hour, loving every mouthwatering gobfull.
I confessed to Nat afterwards what had gone on but subsequently the strangest thing happened. I found myself going back for more, more chicken, more mash, more everything. I polished that lot off and then !!!!!! I went and stuck my nose in the mash pan, there was still more left and then !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to the pantry to steal some bread so I could relive a childhood fave of mine and have my long lost, much lamented mash butty with ketchup - honest. It was gorgeous and THEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fell backwards on to the sofa and got right stuck into a chocolate santa I remembered had been hiding at the back of the fridge hoping to see just one more Crimbo. Five minutes later alas, not a shard of Santa survived.
Alright here's the stinger, I woke up this morning... STARVING. Really hungry, tummy rumbling - the lot.
This is why I have to be careful what I eat - all the time. I reached the food tipping point where proper, genuine, real tubbiness was only a few more gluttinous gorgeous grub motor programmes away. I am already considering when, where and why I might deserve my next mash butty marvel.
CLP,
2008.
X.
By the end of the night Nat was pissing herself laughing.
Comments
Unbeleiveable, unbelieveable . .
Oi, MonsterMunch,
Do you not take on board anything I say . .
Blinkin' Nora - whats the point of posting, preaching and pontificating on this blog if it goes in one ginger ear and out the other . . !
And you're thinking you'll be fit to fly a plan after all this gnawing, huh!! Time for a re-think my friend, time to reassess and evauate - diet=slim=health=life.
Get with it . . !!
Thats it, nuff said. Phew - need to lie down . .
Must get a sandwich - this is making me hungry . .
DtM x
Aaahhhhhhhhhhh mash potato sarnies. CLP - I am so glad I'm not alone! Whenever I mention this delicacy to friends I get the "you freak" look of puzzled bewilderment. They don't know what they're missing!! And I know it's bad for you, but a good helping of salt enhances it too .....
Here's how it works CLP .... the more you eat, the more you "stretch" your stomach so the more hungry you feel when a bit of space is made available. The trick is to eat slower - it takes approx 20 minutes for your stomach to talk to your brain and for your brain to go "OK - full. Stop eating". Even in these days of wireless technology, that's how it works!
I'm now so glad I purchased a new loaf this morn. Liver and bacon, fried onions, peas, thick, dark gravy and MASH sarnies. Heavenly blissful joy!
Chocs left over from Christmas - where do you want me to send them? We've got more confectionary left over (unopened!) than Charlie had in his Chocolate Factory.
For now .... over and out!
CtD xxx
PS: sweets for my sweet
PPS: he did the monster mash
Nat and me both, CLP. What a marvellous awful eejit you are, fair play.
I reckon you've got baby's dummy syndrome. You know, when you're after attention and want to stick summat in your gob.
I think I'll leave it there. Talk like that'll bring on one of me 'eadches.
Freud was right you know.
Clodagh.xx
Hi
broke diet rules and had a magnum in bed watching torchwood on iplayer - yum yum - and not just the ice-cream - more spike please (or John or James or whatever his name is)
Elm x
Oh tsk tsk Captain Christophe! 'twill only be more of you to LUUUUUUUUUUURVE...
Now, see we've done the mash sarnie, the crisp sarnie and the Jamie this 'n that thingamajig, and we've all pretty much et too much...but the main thing is, we've all enjoyed it...and admit it Chris, SO DID YOU! Wots more, we're all gonna keep doing it every now and then too, so...
...lets face it, if lovely Nat wants to cook her husband some lovely grub, then you should love it and call her lovely...
or get yourself a 'Tubby-Tippy Bib' for saves til laters
love
hazel
x
What time's dinner?
Wow!!!! How big was your belly?? Did you have to roll sideways to get into bed? Phwoaar sounds mighty fine though - very very jealous, I would LOVE to have my dinner made for me.... does Nat do deliveries? Mind you, as has been said on previous blogs.. January is not the time for cutting back - the brain just does not compute!
Good for you Chris, no point wasting good food. Just think of the effort that went into making... Im going to have stop now as I will wind up eating chocolate and I have a fantastic chicken surprise waiting at home. Hope its not Hugh Fitting Whitting thing.
On the flip side
N
Why is is that on the morning after the day of constant munching, that you always wake with a rumbly tum???? Almost like you've been starved for days? V curious!
Leb x
Christophe that is BAD!!
But then.... yesterday's ham only just made it into today, by pure force of will. There "wasn't enough worth saving" of the vegetables so I finished them off... even though I had made enough to have the leftovers for lunch today...
Good on you for not letting her down, that's what I say!
xxJeni
Chris,
Fair play to you.......we have to treat ourselves to these pleasures when they are presented to us : )
Gingembre......WHAT a scoreline!!!!!!!!!
MfR......insomniacs are us
love to one and love to all
Gaby
xx
WOW!!!! mash butties....something I hadn't even thought of......oh dear, I can see the Christmas diet going out the window......
Food Glorious Food!
CLP, we used to have days like that where I used to work. We usually did it on a Friday and called it 'Fat Friday'. If we continued it to the next day it could have been 'Faterday'. Sorry, that was awful........the 'Fat Friday' bit is true though.
I remember now having a thing about salad cream sarnies as a teenager. Now days, if I roast a chicken I save enough for sandwiches the next day. Then I love a cold chicken, stuffing and salad cream sandwich.
Thinking about crisp sarnies, I just checked the cupboard, only have hula hoops. That just doesn't work!
Enjoy whatever it is that ends up on your plates tonight!
Lots of love
Debbie xx
wow Chris..... where did you put it all.....?
AND chocolate........phew !
speaking of which ..must check dark choc
stock..torchwood later mmmm :)
X R
Wonder what you had for breakfast? I hope you did have breakfast cos if you didn't that would have been a big mistake, you would only do the same thing again today, got to be kind to your tummy and let it recover gently!!Try a tasty bowl of homemade soup with chunky fresh bread for dinner tonight instead of anything too heavy, that might help.Love Jenn x
Hurrah!
I've just spent the last 2 hours with the daughter gettin' set up on me brand spankin' new laptop that she bought me for Christmas, eew get me!!! And no fist-fights or swearin' or bein' called a Twonk. Just one slap round the back of me head for bein' silly and not concentratin'. Now that's a result.
Ok now then, she's gone off now to torture the boyfriend so I'm flyin' solo. Right. What did she tell me about upliftin' me photos and puttin' 'em into me drawers. Umm.... ah yes, click on the Olympus acorn and hold me breath.
Ow I've bit me tongue now. Whats that sayin'. Remind Me Later. Remind me what? Bloody hell now I've forgotten things I didn't know in the first place.
Jaysus I need a lie down, me head's sore. Mind you it might be these glasses, 10 euro from the Eurosaver, dead trendy but they're a bit tight and the daughter says I look like Timmy Mallett.
What've I missed on the wireless?
Clodagh.xx
Nowt like a mash buttie one and all
Today I have been mostly eating Broccoli though.
I see from facebook (which in itself is quite mad. I can't get my head around tests and sending pokes etc). Anyway people from the blog want to meet up. Is this really a good idea? It could shatter illusions. I myself can't make my mind up if I am male or female a red arrows pilot, a binman, a pole dancer or a plain ordinary member of Take That.
Ciao
morning all, how are you all today?
Well Spurs certainly know how to break a hoodoo don't they? Mond you even with 25 mins togo and 4-0 up, I still wasn't 100% relaxed!!!
Now we need to break another jinx and beat Chelski at Wembley....CoyS
The great facebook/Mulberry meet? I'm due to be on a night shift then but will try to change/take leave. I do agree with Prof but also think it'll be great to put faces to names....can't wait
Just to put a downer on things for a mo'. As some of you will be aware I've had an ongoing (now boring) knee problem for 14 months which hopefully next Friday will be all the nearer to ending???
The problem is, due to compensating and protecting it by always relying on t'other leg I've now damaged the other knee???!!!
HoHum...
Bonnet de douche
KWx
Christophe
I've never even heard of a mash buttie, but guess what is on the hob - the remains of themash that went into last nights cottage pie. I can't can I? In the purpose of pure scientific research I may just partake. Should it be hot or cold? Do you put butter with it - stupid question of course you do. If I have it with seeded batch bread will that make it less fattening?
xxx
Prof Plum - SO with you on that one. What is the point of taking this out of the virtual into the real. No point - even the gods shouted no when they tried it before, hee hee.
Hula hoops make a jolly good sarnie, although fishfingers, ketchup, mayo and plastic white bread are the best midnight hour snack-eroonie.
6 nations starts soon - how exciting is that. Pies and pints infront of the telly all weekend and no excuse save the rugby needed. Marvellous.
jx
Debbie, I have to take very small issue re the great hula hoop question. It does work, but you have to smash them up a bit first, and it is advisable to have a dobbie of salad cream for dipping...
Then back to the cold Chicken...can't do salad cream and chicken...butta bitta mayonnaise and a wee sprinkle-ette of salt...yumster bajumster in yer tumster...OR very machewer cheddar (other types of cheddar available) or luvverly emmental with salad cream...now yer talking!
So are we doing sarnie receepees today then? It's just that recently I have mainly been eating prawn salad on granary from the delishus bakers wot they make for you for a remarkably reasonable price and they all smile and say hallo. The ladies in the bakers that is...not the prawns...oh and a bag of crisps...the flavour of which I decide whilst awaiting the sarnie...
and maybe a banana
love
hazel
x
Plum, you could always be androgynous...or drive a Sinclair C5...or not, obviously...or amphibious...or ambidextrous...or even ambivalent...but I spec you are already...
Bingo, I need a reason to keep getting up in the mornings please? If you have anything in yer glowing ball that could brighten my day?
ps the Badger had a good birthday!
CLP
Loved your blog really made me laugh and as a forty something with a great love for food and an expading waistline i really emphasied with it. The missis doesn't help she doesn't see the waistline and cooks for twenty when its usually just us two as the kids like their own menus.
Love the show keep up the good work.
Gazza
Ps mash butties rule
Happy Birthday Pheonix! x
Back later, so much to do, so little time!
Debbie xx
Christopher!
Mash butty's just wrong my friend! Now if it had been mash, red onion gravy and a couple of the finest cumberland sausages then you are talking ;-)
Oh have I missed lunch....... what is in the back og my fridge, I wager no chocolate, oh no not in my house. :-)
Keith
I've just been out to buy cheese'n'onion crisps.... forgot the white bread though :(
Mmm crisp sarnies and gravy...
I like yesterdays left over mash - fried up and served with fried eggy and ham.
m xxx