´óÏó´«Ã½

talk about the s**t hit the fan, or was that man?????

Save the trainers Chris, I always notice you have really cool ones

KWx

Euuuuwwwwwww. Gross but very entertaining. To someone else. I'd have died had it been me!!

Diva's don't do doggie do do!

CtD xxxx

Ooops Poops - Don't do doggy doo either nor sick etc. other half has to collect - not sure if he would if it was like Enzos though -poor soul, he didn't mean it - did he?

Biggles Mum xx

Awwe poor wee Enzo.........I wouldn't be saying that if I had been on the receiving end!

Mary xx

Chris

Never Blogged before however felt compelled to today as our poor pooch suffered the same thing, after a long few months of being his back legs we both ended up at the chiropractor! But the important thing was that he regained his legs (Not what they were but never the less the alternative doesn't bear thinking about!)
It takes a while but when you can let them off the lead after all those months and see them relise they finally have freedom again it's well woth it, just make sure he learns to lean on the lamp posts as well as wee up them other wise the comical look on the face as they keel over whilst mid stream will have you doubled up!
Sending you good vibes and all the best to Enzo
Pipxx

Oaft, Christof.

The very very exact same thing happened to the original DWNB, Dylan Dog. Oh Wow,
we were so devasted when it happened, and Dyl stayed in the University of Glasgow Animal Hospital for nearly 4 months getting better. We too had a lovely Sling to Walk Dylan and suffered the indignity of the poo slipping out unnoticed by him straight onto our feet.

But the wee Dogwithnobrain never let us down and was there with his wee happy smiling face all the time. (Yes, Dyldog did Smile).
Eventually he got to walk about without the sling, and went on to live a further 5 years. He always preferred to walk on Grass, and always lived up to his nickname trying, thinking his wee back end was okay and jumping up to the washing line!!! -

His favourite thing before the accident was to jump high, bite the washing line in his teeth and hang there til he pingged off, releasing all the pegs in the vincinity.

Aw. He was never the same physcially after the accident, but he was always the same wee happy dog, and we were all so sad when he finally went away.

Give Enzo a BIG hug Us

DWNB

Wowee, look at it this way . . .IT CAN ONLY GO UPHILL from here on . . .!
What a laugh!

DtM

PS How was the DJ'ing at the wedding??

Hi

My parents dog is getting on and she sometimes cannot get up due to artoritis but mention food and sometimes she can bounce like the pup she was, very strange.

My fella is could at massage and rubs her back legs which seems to help her a bit.

Poor old enzo - I know I'm not looking forward to when we have to say goodbye to my parents dog as she has been around since we all lived at home and is very much all of our dog.

BP x

OMG!!! I've just had a thought ..... we could all end up like that one day ....

Yikes!

CtD x x x

Howya chaps, thanks girls for your good wishes re. Renee, v. kind.

I'm back from the hospital with said Old Trout and am sat amidst her and her friends Vera and Joan, drinkin' sherry, swappin' operation stories, singin' war songs and bein' racist and I've just overheard summat marvellous.

Renee, (answering the phone) "Ooo I'm not so bad, thanks, yes, yes, well they've done me Autopsy and I go back on Wednesday.."

"Mother," says I. "I think you mean BIopsy. If they'd done your Autposy you'd be goin' somewhere completely different on Wednesday."

Bless her.

Clodagh.xx

Oh, Christophe, that is sad news! I hope lovely Enzo makes enough recovery to still enjoy his walks...trundles?

I used to see a couple out with their German Shepherd who had a trolley thingamajig...they also had a Dachshund...which looked as though it was on wheels...

For me, I really do think that this is possibly going to be my oldest pussycat's last summer...but then I've said that for the past four years...and she's still going strong!

...and Ms Diva...if you're ever being lifted up via the back end, I hope to goodness I'm there to see it...

Barking is just another tube stop
love
hazel
x

Renee, bless you - you are a gem and I hope you will be okay xx

CtD - thanks for sharing that one lol

Mary xx

...Clodagh...I thought an autopsy was when they test you to see if you're still ok to drive a car?

Hazel - So good to have you back :o) xx



Mary xx

And Christoffe Whiffy Pie.

Spare a thought for my Dear Departed Father Eric, who used to insist that our also Dear Departed Jack Russell terrier used to booby-trap him out of spite, when one night he ventured to the toilet in the dark. The aforementioned dog had been having some trouble bowel-wise and had been taken short on the landing, whereupon Eric stepped full square into the swamp that was the carpet. In his bare feet.

The language that ensued as it squelched between his toes, not to mention his hitherto undiscovered penchant for Irish dancing was better than anything on Britain's Got Talent, and I know for a certain fact that it is possible for a dog to smirk.

So never mind the trainers, CLP. It couldve bin worse.

And by the way. Malapropisms.

The Ex-Hubby many moons ago, during a heated debate over which bit of the body must cross the line first during the Olympic 100 metre sprint, boomed out;

"Look. It's DEFinitely the one whose Trousseau crosses the line first."

So no veils then, chaps. No point.

Clodagh.xx

Clodagh - you could submit Renees "Autopsy" comment to Russell Brand's "Nanecdote" item on his R2 show - produced by Naughty Nic the Vicar's Son, no less!

Very, very funny tale. Thanks for sharing it!

Hazel - the way things are going, they'll need a crane!

Very distracted by my Noel Fielding artwork this afternoon. The world will positively stop turning when it gets to Brandy, The Depp or Mr Jude Law. Phew!

Busy busy busy and I love it!

CtD x x

MfR - where are you babe??

Awwwwwwww CLP, Poor Enzo too!!
You must have been so worried about him, poor doggie! Wed be devestated if anything happened to Buster the wonder dog, hes seven now but hell always be my liddle ball of fluff! Hopefully hell be back to his old self soon.
Clodagh, glad to hear everything went well with your Mammy, My mum comes out with gems like that too, I can remember her once telling some one my brother had to go for an ATTITUDE test before he started his new job!!! Think she meant aptitude, otherwise he never would have gotten the job!!!!

Why thank you Mary.
It's mighty good to be back! I'm just hoping that I can visit more regularly than when the spam fritter sees fit...

Pets are precious members of the family and you do the most weird things to help them along and keep them happy in their old age. Here's hoping Enzo makes a good recovery.

xx

Hi Guys,

As CtD could hear me I shall try a short post. So sorry to hear about Enzo's illness what a worry for you. I had a good chuckle at your story CLP but nearly had an accident myself laughin at Clodagh's story!!!! Bless the old folk!!

C x x

Poor Enzo and poor Chris! I normally stick trainers in the washing machine and they turn out ok.

My cat is 17 this year and is doing amazingly well (touch wood). She is only just starting to look like an old cat really. She still plays with string and little mouse toys much to Little Man's delight. The only thing is she needs letting out more often, normally between 5-5.30am!

Renee sounds fantastic Clodagh, and you guys here make me laugh so much. I've had a bit of a 'wobble' today and coming on here has helped. Thank you.

Lots of love
Debbie x x

Chris and all

Hope Enzo gets better soon.

Bloggers I feel a little ganging up going on with all the personal messages and hugs and kisses.

Clodagh is your Mum related to Hylda Baker per chance?


Anyway I will leave you ladies in peace.

Hang on a tick - my blog just disappeared!! Where's it gone?

Hi Chris, this is Gary Monaghan - do you fancy a pint one night?

hey het hazel, good to see you back and instantly on top form

my knee's are upto their usual mischief, had surgery last week on both of them and am currently laid up doing a good impression of a compass!!!

MrsW's website is going strong, only 2 hours old. I am so proud of her x

Bonnet de douche

KWx

Love to know where my last ramblings went! Chin up re Enzo! Be lost without my little man even though he is now nearly bald thanks to the groomer!

All these pin ups - don't know who they are apart from Depp and Brand! Scary guys! How sad am I - but I could suggest George Clooooony or Tom Selleck in his heyday? Munch!

Gingembre - put other halfs web site on blog in code - say first few letters at beginning of each paragraph?

Looks like Bingo been kept in for bad behaviour.

Liz - I just so agree!!! He forgot to be sick!

Bless Renee - someone once told me they had received results of Auto posy!!

Rosie - welcome to mortgage misery (we've got 2) - should be good time to buy though?

Biggles Mum xxx

Hi Chris

I know its a bit of a sad story in some ways but I do have tears down my face from mirth.

Hope Enzo gets better soon just give lots of cuddles. My dogs 7 but people think he is still a one year old, he gets called Mad jack by everyone, he is a bloke dog but goes to the toilet like a girl he does not know what lamp posts are for and I am not showing him.

As for mums and words my mum is incapable of saying Lasagne even now she still calls it Las Sonia.

Forgot to say that all this reminds me of the time my nan told me that her neighbours cancer was in 'recession'.

Animals steal our hearts thats for sure! If they didn't you would'nt be a pair of Jeans down!

If the honeybees go how long before we follow......

MX

For the record.

It's not my fault the bees are declinin'.

They're makin' up for the deficit by increasin' in size. After my altercation in me ickle VW I had to stop at the services and put more air in me tyres.

The John Prescott of the bee world that's what that was. I've seen smaller things with rotor blades on.

Ey and another thing. We all know now why the aforementioned eejit was so ragin' to have an egg thrown at 'im. After all, that egg could 'ave gone into 'is sausage butty.

Clodagh.xx

Hi Chris and the gang,
was amazed to hear you talking of Noel today, I used to go to the gym with a great vet called Noel in Guildford in the early 90's, who was also a patient of mine, must be the same guy, too much of a coincidence, hey Noel, remember NSA? (he'll understand if it's the same Noel). He was a really great laugh and was on about his 3rd vet degree at the time, glad he's fixed up your pooch!
love the show
regards
David

Evening each

Ahhhhhhhhh poor Enzo, hope he's feeling better soon.

Got the all-clear today from the mouse man. Am definitely getting a cat, can't go through that again. I'm not usually a wimp but where mice are concerned I'm standing on the chair like a cartoon!

Clodah: too right about John Prescott. Apparently he said he ate a mountain of food then felt sick. Well, you would, wouldn't you?

Anne x

Oh my god that was a funny story about Enzo but not for him! poor thing I bet your face was a picture, shame it wasn't captured on film. It's amazing what we will put up with for the sake of out much loved animals. I hope he gets better very soon.
Just stick your trainers in the washing machine they will be fine!

Chris, your story about going home last night made me smile. Tell me something, how could you not see your beautiful wife on the sofa, she is "the girl on the sofa" :o)

Mary xx

what am i doing wrong? I just feel confident enough to spend time writing a long post and it disappears into thin air!!

Where is bingo star i miss him?

Forgot to say: The garage near me has HUGE queues. Silly so-and-so's - don't they realise they're causing the shortage.

And I'll need to fill up on Thursday to get down to Newcastle - and the garage'll be shut. Bums.

Anne x

I've seen lots of dogs like that because I'm a Chartered Veterinary Physiotherapist!! That means I can teach these dogs to walk again. It's very rewarding and as you know, can be quite messy!

If you need any help, email me...

Suzanne

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Oh god I would have screamed the house down and then been sick!

MWK- Work is going well and its nice to be doing something.

I have just realised that there is no longer a link to my blog! So please still visit and here is the address.

Hope the beeb will let me post that.

The fella went home this morning. We had a lovely relaxing day yesterday, bliss! Anyway now off to try and do some form of exercise. Take care, missy x

chris its probably not the first time you ve been sh..t on...but hey thats life.....if we didnt have bees there would be no food think about it...

Hi cHRIS, I hear you said you played golf in northamtonshire, which course did you play? how did you get on? and we have a very nice little track at rugby golf club in warwickshire if your ever nearby?
Cheers buddy

Gaz

My calendar has firemen on it one for each month -many american though - are they the only ones who will pose. I did see a calendar for the Bournemouth Rowing Club now that was interesting indeed, one of the uni crowd showed it to me just before xmas.

Chris you have my sympathy but I sure don't envy you and tash with the sling duty I like Biggles mum don't do sick, poo or off milk - sorree nope - sick I will join in so have to disappear and come back with a tissue soaked in something nice smelling and then I can deal with it - that includes the furr balls that my lovely cat hoakes up early hours of the morning = oh joy (courtesy of Biggles mum)

I just like this new bog mechanism so much fun.

Isn't bingo on holiday for two weeks - he said he was going away for a bit.

Hi Hazel you've been missed.

Phoenix

We have an office dog here that always threatens to do the same thing to anyone passing by.

Not in the army, but attending boot camp...

Best discovery since coming to Germany? DSF 10pm on Monday evenings - Premier League highlights!
Is it too early to commiserate with MfR and Gaby???

You had to go and tell that story while I'm eating my lunch, didn't you Chris? Good thing I wasn't eating Vegemite.

We used to have a cat who just hopped up one night and his back legs stopped working. We had to put him down, and my mum hasn't had to heart to get another cat because she doesn't want to go through all that again. Which is completely understandable.

VaughnJess from Down Under

Hi Chris
Hope Enzo is on the mend.
We were with Deano the German Shepheard at the Hydro yesterday.
Although he is 11 years old you could see what can be achieved.
Deano has been really sore over night after his swim but hopefully it is helping him.
I though what a lovely dog Enzo looked and am sure he will pull through.
Noel and his team are fantastic.
Maybe bump into you again at the pool.
All the best
Graham

Hiya

I can post as elmleaquack or super_bagpuss I have just noticed - which should I be?

Elm aka bp x

Eww...Chris, that's vile and Clodagh, your story made me cringe too!!

One Mr P-less day down, 4 to go.

earthDrippin - my thoughts exactly - all binge and no purge!

CtD - sorry, I'm a bit late on the calendar thing but I would have to have Marlon Brando January to December (when he was young and fit, not in the flabby Godfather days).

Gingembre - are you going to plug Mrs W's website? Would love a gander and Missy, will have a squint at yours too x

B's mum - I have no idea what all this credit crunch / recession stuff is about. I'm going to be a 1950's-style housewifey about this and leave it all to Mr P. Sorry to all the feminists.

Rosie x

Elm....super_bagpuss I reckon!

Morning team, hope you're all well this fine sunny day?

cathmel - Bingo is in custody for a while after his misdemeanours as far as I can remember....I'm sure he'll be released v v soon???

missy - hope you're well, once I'm up and about I'll pop by your new work for a wave, maybe even pop to marmalades for a latte???

Have a good day

Bonnet de douche

KWx

Rosie, it's a wedding dress website, the address is on my facebook page.

felicitybridal

KWx

.co.uk

I'd vote for Super Bagpuss too.

Gingembre, it's GAWJUS here. Sun is up, boids is singeing, bunnies is looking unfairly cute...glad the knees are still a story...I feel a bit late to the party at the moment!

Have just found a vol au vent...if no one wants it? Wilsmar...are you still about? Was it yours?

I can recommend st@rbucks (only as an absolute emergency of course) Dolce Latte with Cinnamon and Whipped (oh yersss) Cream.

Extortion but SOOOOO worth it
love
hazel
x

ps Has anyone taken Bingo a file with a cake in it? Or similar?

Dr.Beeker.

You know what. Not only were Renee and Hylda Baker separated at birth but she and the DDF Eric WERE Nellie and Eli.

And on that theme, can I put forward the BEST scene EVER in the history of the Movies.

Nearest And Dearest.. The Movie.

The scene: The pickle factory. A young nubile factory worker is bending over the pickle vats while the tea boy is looking on, eyes like hard-boiled eggs, and mistakenly pouring vinegar into the tea cups.

Handing round said tea, Stan (Joe Gladwin, little old chap with bottle-bottom glasses who used to do thevoice-over for the Hovis ads) takes a large gulp and spits it out projectile-fashion.

"Yer der-dozy duck!" he yells, grimacing. "You forgot to put sugar in it.."

Marvellous. The best scene ever apart from Jack Nicholson's response to Shirley Maclaine's offer of a post-date coffee in Terms Of Endearment:

"I'd rather stick needles in my eyes."

Incidentally it took me ages there to remember Joe Gladwin's name, how infuriating is it when that happens; I'm bettin' BigglesMum would have known..

Clodagh.xx

Hazel.

Toffee nut latte with whipped cream and a sticky apple cake. Yummy yum yum.

Mind you if you get to New York they do banana nut loaf cake the size of a house brick which is definitely worth robbin' the post office for.

Clodagh.xx

Help!

Me blogs is vanishing!

MfR

This is not working ???

Try again???

Feeling nervous back to fat club after 2 weeks on holiday! Fingers crossed I've stayed the same!

cathmel...my colleegew has just announced that his afianced lived for about a month on five cracker breads (other types of pre-fabricated card available) a day, ham, fruit and then one meal in the evening and lost about a stone. He has just said that he started the same plan earlier this morning, and has already eaten at least eleven of the aforementioned breads, and thinks they may taste marginally better if topped with a hamburger.

I also hope you have stayed the same! Good luck m,deario xx

...and clodagh, anything topped with whipped cream has to be the bees!
love
hazel
x

Hey there MfR...is there a commiseration necessary? This would still be about football would it?

I dont think the blog police like me any more

Naah Clodagh - got alzhi - alzhei - memory block with names. Can remember the little guy with the bottle specs though - just! and his voice on the hovis ads talking like he had pebbles in his mouth and about to be sick - please note JP

Biggles Mum xxx

Can you just slow down on the blogging please? I've been AWOL for ages now and every time I think I've caught up, at least another 20 posts arrive!

Anyhoo - hope all is well with everyone. To MWK, gingembre, Hazel, Cathmel, Lyndyloo, Debbie, MFR, Moose, DWNB, CtD and Wilsmar (sorry but it's quicker to use yer old monickers), hope all is well with you all and it's good to be back. Apologies if I've missed anybody off x

HL - well done babe xx

Gingembre - love the image of you impersonating a compass - which way is the wind blowing?!!

The sun's out - hoorah!

jillygoat xx

Yoos sending your bees to me? just been dive bombed by one the size of a sparrow - came straight at me - I had to duck! and if the beeb want to film gigantic dragon flies get over here to my pond - like something out of m.a.s.h.

When Biggs was a fluffy puppy - came tearing up to office, obviously bothered about something - other half "whats the matter little one?" cuddle cuddle - whopping great bee emerges from fur and stings him on his finger! Did I laugh - you bet I did - gave the bee a state burial

Biggles Mum xx

PS Nice gingembre - will tell my nieces when they decide to do the decent thing! Both just split and single again - told them not to live with their lads - take after their auntie,(used to be) too strong minded for the old give and take yet.

PPS I don't do money either Rosie but woe betide if there's none there when I want it! I use the cards - he writes the cheques - yabadabadoooo!

Biggles Mum xxx

Cathmel.

Listen hun. Who gives a bugger if you are occupying a tad more space when you get to Fat Club. Yous is occupyin' it with Gorgeousness so tell Fat Club go ask me granny.

I have yet to hear a coherent argument in favour of making people feel bad about themselves being a positive thing. How on earth can it be motivating being made to feel guilty and lacking control. And pardon me for this but in my own friends' and acquaintances' experience of Fat Clubs, the people in charge are invariably patronising and hideous control freaks.

Yes, yes I know, there will be those who aren't and also those for whom said clubs have been lifesavers but my point is I've never met any.

I remember going to a Ladies' Luncheon with a woman who shall remain nameless lest I get BP'd for libel, but she was something of a diet guru in the 80s. I was expecting something inspiring and illuminating, but instead what a truly smug, patronising and nauseating, not to say vain, woman she was. I'd say half the women there launched 'emselves right up the road towards bulimia immediately after that lunch.

So. With apologies to those who I have no doubt have their hearts and motives in the right place and whom I have doubtless offended, Fat Clubs be buggered.

Let's start Gorgeous Clubs instead.

And start off with a toffee nut latte. Only a tall one, mind.

Clodagh.xx

....erm, can I come in yet?

MfR

wOzer

everyone v. busy blogging this morning. What is it about Pets / Animals which sets us all off.

I'm not allowed another pet. I've seen off 15 goldfish, been distraught over the loss of DNWB, even more distraught over the loss of my Kitties, and now I'm left with the Buns. One of whom likes to have poop pulled from his bum weekly.

I got diagnosed with Asthma a couple of years ago and the doctor said "have you got Cats?" and I says "yes", and he said,"ah well", and I said, "you aren't asking me to kill my cats are you", and he said, "no, not exactly, but when they do, don't replace them". HUmph.

And only now that they are gone, and I'm askingmy husband weekly for a new one... he says, didn't really like having them in the house anyways.

Humph

Sorry peeps - really silly busy today.

Back laters.

CtD x x x

oooh, get my new sparklesparkly name!!!!!

Is the blog working better with this new system?

Hello everyone :-)

Poor Enzo. Hope little Beth is being kind to him.

Gingembre, I've been out of the loop for a while, how did your op go??

T xxx
(or should that be SST?)

tinsel (SST) - 'twas last week, went well thank you, still on crutches etc.

hope you're well

KWx

We could be WAGs. WE'RE ALL GAWJUS!!!

Spesh DWNB if I merember correctly...

Join now while registration is free, and get a complimentary 'Kick-@rse' Kit at your first meeting.

I'm gorgeous.

No. I'm gorgeous!

No! I'M GORGEOUS!!!

Sorry, went all a bit spartacus there...
love
hazel
x

Phoenix, you preshus! And Sparklesparklytinsel...is it really you???

Hello Hazel - yep, it's really, really me :-) (that's if I'm who you think I am obviously!!). Lovely to see you back too after so much time AWOL!!

G, hope you're recovering and will soon have two knees that bend in all the right places!

I'm fine - I'm in the process of selling my flat (great timing eh??) = I'm only moving round the corner, into a smaller flat but with its own garden - can't wait to see my lovely doggie lying out there in the sunshine!! Am slowly getting my allotment under control - built my pea and bean wigwam things the other day - they looked great, hope they're still standing next time I go back!!

Txx

Hey Chris almost the same happened to me.
Dillon had a 'doggie stroke' leaving him unable to use his back legs too. So after giving him copious amounts of water - as he wasnt eating I then tried pulling him out to the garden on an old duvet !! No joy.... 2 days later and a sore back I sent my partner off to the vets. Dillon started to pant rather alot the sort of panting that tells you he is really desperate!!!. So I pulled him into the kitchen whereupon his bladder exploded - if you can now imagine what 2 days worth of wee was like all over me - the kitchen - and worst of all his tummy. I was like a woman possessed trying to wash this off of him!!!!. Needless to say when it was all over Peter walked back in from the vets!!!! PS He has recovered now and is able to cock his own leg albeit a bit more shaky now.!!!! as for Dillon!!!!!!!!!!!! Brilliant show Chris look after that dog of yours now.......Gill x

Hi Chris,

Sounds a lovely way to start the day. Hope your friends had a camera!! The day could only get better.

Great show, take care and look forward to tomorrows blog.

Hi CLP
I know this little missive has been on your blog for a couple of days; but I've just had a read through a couple of your comments..... Enzo's story made me laugh out loud so much so, the guys in the office looked in amazment, not because I don't laugh very much because because it was a howler :o) much love and good vibes being sent to Enzo and your and yours of course. Loads of love janleyj xxx