blog three eight zero six.
When bad bad bad food turns even worse. Last night I had to...
...go to the airport to pick up my mum and her pals from their hols.
Now here's the deal... the pick up was Gatwick North at 23.15, awkward, awkward time. You see I couldn't leave London last night until 21.30 as I had to go and catch a band showcasing (favour to a mate), and Gatwick is only an hour away at that time of night so, it was hang around here or hang around there. I could have gone home but I would have only been able to stay for about five minutes before setting off again. Anyhow it ends up with me getting there an hour early and of course you're not allowed to wait, I'm also very hungry at this point. "I know," I thought, "I'll go to the garage around the corner, pop in, pick up a bite to eat and then park up until I am summoned by ma ma."
Not the most complicated of plans I know but nevertheless, what could possibly go wrong ?
Cue: my point of view, looking at the refrigerated sanwiches one day old !!!
I had no idea that what could look so effortlessly unappealing by day could look so positively deathly by night. The plastic packaging now mottled with a gloomy condensation, almost doing us a service by disguising what might lie inside. Rows of unselected garbage stood like lepers in a far flung wilderness. What were they to do ? They knew they were not good enough to be real food eaten by people who may care about seeing tomorrow morning. As I looked at them they looked away unable to return my stare. They knew they were not meant for this world. The fruit salads had turned brown, the pork pies had begun to breathe and upon closer inspection even the normally more hoity toity chicken wraps were shriveling up with embarrasment.
Seriously, this was a desperate enviroment for desperate people of which I was now one. So what did I do ?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I bought something, yes something to eat, yes I confess, I did I really did. However the story does not end there.
Stuck on the plastic window of my triangular round of cheese and onion kamikaze roll read the following label....CHEESE AND ONION - NEW RECIPE !
Excuse me, new recipe? It's cheese and onion, that's it...cheese and onion, CHEESE WITH ONION, CHEESE ALONG WITH ONION, ONION AND CHEESE, AN ONION CHEESE THING.
Oh and hang on a minute, these labels were everywhere... look...BACON LETTUCE AND TOMATO...NEW RECIPE....HAM AND MUSTARD...NEW RECIPE, what the hell are you talking about ?
And as if anyone that has to buy one of these sandwiches, who must be on the verge of STARVATION to do so in the first place, cares.
Drivers, late night dudes, hungry people of the roads of great Britain, you have my deepest sympathy.
CLP.
2008.
X.
FORGIVE ANY SPELLING I AM a litlle emotional.
Page 1 of 4
Comment number 1.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Awww CLP ... garage food. almost as hideous as garage flowers.
Glad you saw the morning, my friend.
Had I been in your shoes I think a packet of much-discussed on previous blog crisps and some choccy-woccy woc woc would have done the trick.
You're nice and early today!!
CtD xxx
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Comment number 2.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Hey Chris - as you're in the office early today why not take the opportunity to check out the CLP Bloggers page on FB?
You'll be amazed.
Maybe even a little flattered!!
CtD x x x
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Comment number 3.
At 11th Jun 2008, lyndyloo_the_1st wrote:Hi CLP Am back from my travels and opted not to go for the new or otherwise sandwhich recipes in airports/garages/etc Luv Lyndyloo ...
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Comment number 4.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:Hi Cheryl, here's where you've been hiding!
I don't even bother looking at those sandwiches to be honest, yuk! You must have been starved to eat one.
Debbie x
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Comment number 5.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:Rushing over from Blog 385 ....
Yukkity. I never buy those ready made sarnies. Now that was a perfect opportunity to get a BIG BAG of crisps if ever there was one!!!
Bingo - Brentford - they're not very good are they??? I can see the floodlights from the window where I work ...
T x
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Comment number 6.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Yay!!! I've got some company at last!!!
Petit four anyone .....
CtD xxxx
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Comment number 7.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:CtD - choccy woccy woc woc??? Ha ha ha!
x
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Comment number 8.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:By the way, can you guys send me some good luck vibes at 7pm this evening? I'm trying to get some pre-sale tickets to see George Michael at Earls Court, so exciting!
I can sense a CtD, Emirates scenario!
Debbie x x
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Comment number 9.
At 11th Jun 2008, cathmel wrote:What a grumpy old man moment! I totally agree though clp. Mostly with your 'new recepie comment - some things advertised so often as 'new and improved' or new this or that you have to wonder how rubbish they used to be but in fact nothing has really changed or could be done ie: a cheese and onion sandwich can never be anything else can it?
Phew I feel quite emotional too - a grumpy old lady post
see ya later
x x
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Comment number 10.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Sparkly Tinsel - Oh my goodness.... the fllodlights... does that mean the Thames 'as burst it's banks?@???
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Comment number 11.
At 11th Jun 2008, cathmel wrote:ctd - je voudrais des petit fours s'il vous plait!
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Comment number 12.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:CLP - You could ave taken the sliver caravan with the missus in it ter the airport.......
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Comment number 13.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:I thought you were a sophisitcated man of international mobility!!!!!
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Comment number 14.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:As for me driving late.... I bring me own food.....
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Comment number 15.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Monster Munch, bananas, Tesco value bottle of lemonade refilled with......
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Comment number 16.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:dilluted orange from Somerfield.....
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Comment number 17.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:And plenty of Revels!!!!
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Comment number 18.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Especially the rason ones!
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Comment number 19.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:I aven't 'ad food poising for years or 'ad ter pay £7.50 for......
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Comment number 20.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Sorry food poisoning......
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Comment number 21.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:And payed 7.50 for a soggy sandwich that'll.........
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Comment number 22.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Only ruin the 'plank' work!!!
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Comment number 23.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:But no peanut ones coz everyone seems to be allergic to peanuts in the 21st century.
The world has gone BONKERS!
CtD xxxx
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Comment number 24.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Know what am sayin'!!!!! Chow!
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Comment number 25.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Aye chez there's a new name for a chocolate bar.... Peanut Bonkers!!!!!!!!
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Comment number 26.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Wonder 'ow yer spell poison???? I must be suffering from alzheimers ere.. can't remember 'ow ter spell anymore!!
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Comment number 27.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Wonder 'ow yer spell alzheimers??
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Comment number 28.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:PS CLP - The VERY end of yer blog.....
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Comment number 29.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:You feel very ......
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Comment number 30.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:emotional......
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Comment number 31.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:And suffering from spelling probs too!!!!
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Comment number 32.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:It must be spreading!!!!
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Comment number 33.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Maybe the russians ave put something in our vodka?
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Comment number 34.
At 11th Jun 2008, meandjumpingbean wrote:Wow chris you're early today!! Caught most of us by surprise it seems :)
Heeee.... am on the "big" computer now, as mr jumpingbean has confiscated the laptop. So I suppose I ought to do something useful while I'm here. Only problem is the only thing I'm likely to do is sunbathe as I am now in full view of the sun and likely to get sunstroke before anything remotely useful happens. Ah well, c'est la vie, eh!
Eeee could do with tinted glass....
And as for service station sandwiches... yuck yuck. Crisps every time. Forget the soggy sarnies, go for the Big Eat and blow the consequences.
Aaargh the wind is blowing a gorgeous breeze - outside - but none of it is getting through the wide open window! No fair!!
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Comment number 35.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Bingo
Sounds like you could get locked up for being a "Peanut Bonker" !!!!
Cheryl x x x
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Comment number 36.
At 11th Jun 2008, DeRedHead wrote:This blog makes me howl,
who was it yesterday ? no Monday- the pillow/bed fellow was chatting away about his speciality and CLP replied 'MangeTout' to something yerman had said and the conversation carried on uninterrupted. .. love it. Chuckling away here to myself at the thought.. but tell me now .. kind and clever people of the CLP-B, how is it that with the credit crunch and the cost of fuel etc that my company still want to send me on a 10hr flight to attend a meeting that I could perfectly well conduct over the telefunken.. Nope? No, me neither...But am working on ways to get out of it .. never say never when De Red Head is on de case !
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Comment number 37.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Chez - Am already locked up..... am bloggin from The Priory clinic!!!!
Anyway all this talk, it's all..... nuts!!!
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Comment number 38.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:PS I don't put any x's aka 'x' or 'X' at the end of me blogs, as it brings back bad memories of me school work after it 'ad been marked!!!!!
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Comment number 39.
At 11th Jun 2008, meandjumpingbean wrote:Hey Bingo I got confused after our Finnish language classes in Finland - they would put a green cross when something was right, and a red tick if it was wrong!! How to confuse an already confused english girl....
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Comment number 40.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:Bingo - it's when you get the "See Me!" that you want to start worrying!!!
x (in the nicest possible way!)
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Comment number 41.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:garage food - should be called Garbage food
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Comment number 42.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:the food here in the business class lounge for KLM Heathrow is a bit pokey but there is plenty of free booze on offer
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Comment number 43.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:Hello EJR, how are you?
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Comment number 44.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:EJR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comment number 45.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:so off to raid the g and ts
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Comment number 46.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:bored in Heathrow but flight boards in 40 mins so not too bad...more updates to come from amsterdam :D
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Comment number 47.
At 11th Jun 2008, meandjumpingbean wrote:hello...!! nearly said something inappropriate but stopped myself just in time.... flippin' hormones...!
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Comment number 48.
At 11th Jun 2008, cathmel wrote:EJR lovely to hear from you. Keep us posted on your trip!
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Comment number 49.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:Ice anyone?
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Comment number 50.
At 11th Jun 2008, meandjumpingbean wrote:mmm yes please ;)
x
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Comment number 51.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:Safe journey EJR, look forward to your updates!
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Comment number 52.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:thanks all for the fond wishes - I promise not to bore you all
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Comment number 53.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Sparkly Tinsel - Ah yes the old 'See Me'.... I never got that... the 'eadmaster used ter run away from me!!!!
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Comment number 54.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:fingers crossed to be sat next to a bored and lonely red-headed supermodel who has a penchant for englishmen...please god..please
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Comment number 55.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:PS Talkin of going to 'see' people in authority.... gotta joke......
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Comment number 56.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:A man goes to 'is doctor....
'e says "Am feelin' down as nobody ever listens to me"!
The doc says..... "Next"!!!!@@!}!!
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Comment number 57.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:EJR ... if only you knew.
Earlier today you were being blatantly discussed in your speedos!!
Cover up, young man.
CtD x x
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Comment number 58.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:My goodness.... three lines appeared!!!!
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Comment number 59.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:looking at the weather forecast it seems I am getting out just in time ..wow look at all the rain you guys are due...
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Comment number 60.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:EJR - Don't worry about boring people - yer can't do any worse than me!!!!
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Comment number 61.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:CtD ...lol...I have never, ever worn speedos...there is a pic on my FB profile of me in a small wetsuit...but I would not recommend it to anyone lol
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Comment number 62.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:Bingo and boredom and not two words that often occur mate
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Comment number 63.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:Rob, be careful what you wish for ... I think there's a convention of male redheaded supermodels jetting out this afternoon ...
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Comment number 64.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Ave still not finished me trip ter Ukraine updates!!!!
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Comment number 65.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:Ok I'm off to FB see you all later ;-) x
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Comment number 66.
At 11th Jun 2008, meandjumpingbean wrote:hee heeeee doubly naughty Tinsel!!
xx
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Comment number 67.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:EJR - You don't know me in real life.... ave been know ter clear Speed Dating events!!!
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Comment number 68.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:I knew it, no speedos for EJR!!
Blimey, yesterday gorgeous Gordon in his wetsuit, and today I have EJR in HIS wetsuit to look forward to when I get home and on to facebook!! Life doesn't get much better!!
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Comment number 69.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:sparkly...that is great ..made me laugh out loud in the lounge here :) people are look strangely at me...i love it...male models did you say.....mmmm..nah not my bag baby ;)
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Comment number 70.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733592 wrote:What a hilarious blog. I never touch sandwiches in boxes myself.. well except once and it didn't taste of anything.
Rob not flying the flag then?
Bingo Speed dating in speedo's fabulous.
Toodle oo
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Comment number 71.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:Inspector Coco - Whatta good idea, might try that if the Ukraine goes ape!!!
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Comment number 72.
At 11th Jun 2008, Easyjobrob wrote:Nope...BA = Bags Absent - every time i have flown BA (except once) they have managed to lose my luggage - so only in an emergency - and anyway KLM have a better frequent flyer programme - that is what has bought my trip to NZ :)
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Comment number 73.
At 11th Jun 2008, B-sMum wrote:Wots happening here! get my head down to do some work - blog up to nearly 200 and half way to wherever on the next and
EJR talking to us somewhere from heaven?
seems I have a bit of reading to do!!
Beesmum xx
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Comment number 74.
At 11th Jun 2008, B-sMum wrote:AhHa waiting to board - I believe this blog will go quiet for a while rob whilst all those who can hop off to fb!! to check out the wetsuit!
Great joke Bingo!!
Beesmum xx
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Comment number 75.
At 11th Jun 2008, B-sMum wrote:See? told you - nothing since 3 pm!!
Beesmum xx
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Comment number 76.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:WAAAAAH!!! I can't get on facebook till I get home. Come on girls - give us a verbal report!!!
T xx
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Comment number 77.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:Don't want to spoil the surprise for you Tinsel.... but thought I'd let you know that there are soldiers too!
Debbie x
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Comment number 78.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733592 wrote:In Bingo's lingo
It's all to much
Back to my cocktail mixing. Next one is a Miss Marple followed by a Dickson of Dock Green.
Toodle ooer
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Comment number 79.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Debbie - are they eggy dip dip soldiers? Or roughty-toughty chaps in green outfits?
Tinsel - cold shower for you today!!
And Debbie - good luck with the tickets. If you do get lucky I can only advise you to take tissues and a plastic bottle. And a camera!
Can't get the image of wet-suit men out of my head now. Grrrrrrrrr cheers Rob!
CtD xxxxx
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Comment number 80.
At 11th Jun 2008, sparklesparklytinsel wrote:LOL Debbie. Will have to watch my speed on the way home!! Men in wetsuits and uniforms ... mmmmmmmmmmmmm .....
T xx
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Comment number 81.
At 11th Jun 2008, Dan the Man wrote:whats going on with the blog maister . . .?
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Comment number 82.
At 11th Jun 2008, Debbie C wrote:Haha, CtD they are the roughty-toughty ones, very nice too! Might go back for another look now!
Ta regarding the tickets, but I can't take a decent photo at gigs I just end up with peoples backs and heads. Don't know how it happens but hey......
Tinsel, not long to go now till hometime lovey!
Debbie x x
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Comment number 83.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:I'd have a Sherlock Holmes, vodka, gin and more vodka. Then I'd need a Dr Watson
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Comment number 84.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:Finally let me post!
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Comment number 85.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:That was short lived.
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Comment number 86.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:Loved reading today. Going back to police cars following I was on motorway and a car appeared to be following me so I speeded up from about 75 ish to 90 odd and it was an unmarked police car.
Yes I did get a ticket and points. He did ask why I was speeding but I didn't say 'cos you seemed to be following me Which although the truth I had a feeling wouldn't make much difference.
Garage food, buy a pack of biccys, anything but the dead bread
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Comment number 87.
At 11th Jun 2008, meandjumpingbean wrote:Jules there's a number you can call when you think you're being followed, just don't speed up! Pull in to the next services and call 112 I think it is (help me out guys, is that the right number?) and you can ask if there is a police car about. Don't whatever you do pull over even if they start flashing lights at you until you know it's the police for real. They're obliged to let you get to the next services before you stop.
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Comment number 88.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:I could have slowed down too, I realize but it was instinct to accelerate. Thanks though mjb. Hope your horrormoans are settling.
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Comment number 89.
At 11th Jun 2008, U11733486 wrote:I see the stockmarket is tumbling again terdee....
The only damn shares that are going up are Dignity.... the uk's largest funeral directors!!!!!
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Comment number 90.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:Ha ha
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Comment number 91.
At 11th Jun 2008, Jules77 wrote:lovely for Errol and Mariella, has given the day a warm glow. (as did the wetsuit chat)
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Comment number 92.
At 11th Jun 2008, DWNB01 wrote:today for my lunch i had,
Rocket, from my garden, corriander, from my garden, a smattering of grilled bacon, a crumble of feta cheese (i'd love to say from my goats, but that would be a lie), and some chick peas (neither were they from my chickens). Mixed with a little light dressing - mixed olive oil and vinegar.
Heavens, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Angel food indeedy.
Get a refridgerator for your car, and travel safe in the knowledge that your food needs are safely taken care of.
Much Love.
Well Fed, DWNB
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Comment number 93.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Aw DWNB that sounds lovely!
I'm getting hungry now and obsessin over the chinese banquet I'm going to put together tonight!
CtD x x x
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Comment number 94.
At 11th Jun 2008, alright_flower wrote:CtD, don't suppose there's an extra seat going at your table tonight? Chinese banquet sounds fab!!
AF x
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Comment number 95.
At 11th Jun 2008, DeRedHead wrote:Yes, Chinese banquet for me please,
and if you could position me in front of the roly-poly self-assembly duck and pancakes that would be seen as a favour ;-)
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Comment number 96.
At 11th Jun 2008, B-sMum wrote:Me too CtD move up all --- what's on the me and you and is it all from stratch or are you popping out for a few container fulls.
Our local has ditched the foil and now uses plastic containers - cupboard is full of them - well you can't throw them can you?
Just off the read all the blogs I missed and blog allowing spit in a few comments Highland Sue style.
Beesmum xx
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Comment number 97.
At 11th Jun 2008, B-sMum wrote:stratch??!! scratch!!>
BM
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Comment number 98.
At 11th Jun 2008, alright_flower wrote:Beesmum, did you see what I put on the CLP bloggers FB site re hotels? Bit pricey, wot???
AF x
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Comment number 99.
At 11th Jun 2008, B-sMum wrote:Not yet AF - can only use laptop for fb and not work computer cos of all the security so will check tonight but I am guessing not good!!
By the way for all who shot off to see mr wetsuit - give me a clue so I don't have to go through all the sunsets/storms/wonders of the world etc to find it!!!te he!!
Beesmum xx
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Comment number 100.
At 11th Jun 2008, CrimboDeevs wrote:Chinese banquet is a 50/50 effort. I'm cooking from scratch beef and green peppers in black bean sauce, and my version of singapore/chilli noodles with pak choi.
Those people at w@1tr0se have suppled the Dim Sums, seaweed, sesame prawn toast and prawn crackers.
The thing about cooking chinese is that is takes 4EVER to shed/chop/prep and about 90 seconds to cook it all. I alway get stressed out cooking chinese, but it's one of my fave foodstuffs so worth the effort.
Alex for The Apprentice!!
CtD xxxx
PS: boss just gone home. off to check EJR in his wetsuit on FB !!
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