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Dreaming of the Hoff

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Comedy Dave | 19:03 UK time, Monday, 30 October 2006


Dear Webfriends,

It’s me again, back uncharacteristically early with another computer postcard to update you on what I’ve been up to recently. I wasn’t going to write one today, but nobody else seemed interested and instead nominated me for this honour, so here goes.

Since we last spoke I’ve been on holiday which was nice, although I’ve now lost some of the hearing in my right ear as a result of a suspected wax blockage. I’ve tried holding my nose and yawning, and spraying the shower head down my ear, but so far nothing has worked.

I even had ear candles put into my ears last night (girlfriend’s idea) to see if they would work, but they didn’t and just caused me to feel a kind of muffled anxiety as I worried about the potential risks of mixing fire with my head which can’t be safe. I think I’ll probably just see if it sorts itself out over the coming weeks, otherwise I might have to go to the doctors and get them syringed or something which might be unpleasant.

Last night I had a dream where I was in an airport somewhere preparing to get on a plane that sailed on the water rather than flying over it, and in the queue at the airport was former Knight Rider star . He seemed quite nice, and was very friendly to me and the other passengers, and even signed copies of his book ‘Making Waves’ for children who were keen to get his autograph. I don’t know whether he was on the same plane as me in the end, to wherever I was going, because just as we started boarding, my alarm went off and I had to get up and have a shower.

I’ve just done a big shop in Tescos and spent £66.74. It’s a lot really, but I’ve got loads and stuff, and tonight I’m having plaice fillets (fish) with brown rice for my tea as part of my new healthy lifestyle. I’m not sure how long this new regime will last, but so far it’s going ok, and I’m actually quite impressed with myself. As they say at the shop where I bought my tea, every little helps.

Anyway, I’m going to go now and watch telly, and then get an early night and see if I dream about any other Hollywood megastars who might also be using strange forms of transport.

Until next time

Bye

Dave.

°ä´Ç³¾³¾±ð²Ô³Ù²õÌýÌýPost your comment

  • 1.
  • At 01:48 AM on 26 Nov 2006,
  • He who points out the obvious wrote:

Hi "Not So", just a quick note to let you know, well, remind you actually, that if it wasn't for your unbeleiveably lucky friendship with Chris, you'd almost certainly be a part time, deputy assistant manager at McDonalds. Weekends only..... "Comedy" Dave? Doesn't that suggest that occasionally you're funny? Give it a go, live up to your nickname. You sponge of the success of your great mate, haven't been funny for years, are superbly stupid and basically make a living by moaning, whinging and bitching on a weekday morning. Lucky sod!! seriously, fair play to you, but don't forget, you're nowt mate.

Bitter and Twisted - Lancs XX

  • 2.
  • At 11:31 AM on 10 Nov 2006,
  • Luke wrote:

Michelle,

Dave's marriage ended, and he now has a new girlfriend.

There's a clip of it on chrismoyles.net

Keep up the great show guys!

  • 3.
  • At 07:52 AM on 10 Nov 2006,
  • angela wrote:

Hi dave,
Having your ears syringed is not very nice.
angela.

  • 4.
  • At 10:04 PM on 08 Nov 2006,
  • wrote:

Hi Dave,
I think you are fantastic, i wake up to Moyles every day (bar sats n suns, obviously, that would be impossible) i just wanna say i love you and i love the show! please give Chris a big kiss for me!! actually, you may not want to do that... haha!!! erm, glad you decided not to wear that banana-thong-slingy-thing... absolutely hilarious, but not at all practical!

  • 5.
  • At 10:20 AM on 03 Nov 2006,
  • Lucy Burgess wrote:

Hi Dave,
I just wanted to say go and get your ear syringed. Its a lovely feeling cause they use a jet of warm water and you get to see all this crap come out of your ear! Nice!
And, you'll be able to hear again.

The show is cool by the way, always makes me giggle. x

  • 6.
  • At 02:19 PM on 01 Nov 2006,
  • Michelle wrote:

Dave, what's with the Girlfriend, what happened to the wife???

  • 7.
  • At 11:57 AM on 01 Nov 2006,
  • Helen wrote:

Shouldn't you be having some veg with the fish and rice for it to count as a proper healthy meal?

  • 8.
  • At 10:52 AM on 01 Nov 2006,
  • ciaran keavney wrote:

mind bloging crap dave and i dont even listen to the show only the podcast hi alid hi dom hi rachel hi dave hi carie

  • 9.
  • At 08:24 PM on 31 Oct 2006,
  • paulas wrote:

HI DAVE LISTEN TO THE SHOW EVERY DAY AND IM A MASSIVE FAN ( IM NOT GAY OR AWT )THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE R1 WEB-SITE , GOT TO SAY A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO YOU WERE ALL RIBBING ALLED WHEN HE HAD HIS TEETH WHITENED AND YOU WERE ALL THINKIN OF NAMES FOR HIS ALTER EGO , YOU JUST CAME OUT WITH YOUR IDEA WHICH WAS " BATTY MAN " I DONT ENCOURAGE HOMAPHOBIA IN ANY WAY BUT OH MY GOD I NEARLY CRASHED MY VAN . DOESNT SOUND FUNNY BUT AS YOU KNOW ITS ALL ABOUT TIMING AND DELIVERY WHICH WERE BOTH PERFECT , I WAS ACTUALY CRYING, YOU ARE A GENIOUS . KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

  • 10.
  • At 05:26 PM on 31 Oct 2006,
  • James wrote:

Hi Lisa,
Which pub was that?

Thanks

  • 11.
  • At 01:55 PM on 31 Oct 2006,
  • Lisa wrote:

Hi,

My husband met you in the pub before the ArsenalVEverton game on Saturday!! He said you were a really nice bloke!!!
Glad your all back, love the show!!

Lisa
xx

  • 12.
  • At 12:29 PM on 31 Oct 2006,
  • kim wrote:

are the plaice fillets coated in anything because that can be very unhealthy.
oh and try olive oil in you ear!!

xx

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