[Grippenschaaft] How To Get So Rich No-One Likes You
HI! I'M DOCTOR GUSTAV GRIPPENSCHAAFT!
You know, every day I receive letters from people desperate for my help. But enough about me.
LOOK AT YOU! YOU ARE AMAZING!
There - did you see that? I just lied to make you feel better. Feels good doesn't it? It's cool to give people a boost when they're feeling low.
Lying can play a big part in the path to enlightenment. Consider the following scenarios and the benefits of lying:
ÌýÌý 1. That is a lovely dress, honey. I love the way it is blue. Now - can I borrow five dollars?
ÌýÌý 2. No, sir, I'm sure I gave you twenty dollars. You've short changed me... by five dollars.
ÌýÌý 3. All of my products undergo rigorous safety tests. Not ONE person has died using them.
Yes! That's right! Through lying I can make FIVE DOLLARS EVERY TIME! Sometimes, as with the last scenario, I can make a heck of a lot more! (And you can too)
WAY TO GO CHAMP! You are almost there! By now you should be growing in confidence & energy. Furthermore, the money transfer you set up has come through without a hitch! GREAT WORK!
By the way, when you next check your bank statement you might be confused by the amount of money going to my organisation. If you do, STOP, take a deep breath and repeat after me - "CONFUSION IS A NEGATIVE EMOTION. I AM HAPPY WITH THIS".
I'm happy with it too. x
Mr Dr Gustav Grippenschaaft
Grippenschaaft is written by Thomas Nelstrop and Simeon Goulden.
You know, every day I receive letters from people desperate for my help. But enough about me.
LOOK AT YOU! YOU ARE AMAZING!
There - did you see that? I just lied to make you feel better. Feels good doesn't it? It's cool to give people a boost when they're feeling low.
Lying can play a big part in the path to enlightenment. Consider the following scenarios and the benefits of lying:
ÌýÌý 1. That is a lovely dress, honey. I love the way it is blue. Now - can I borrow five dollars?
ÌýÌý 2. No, sir, I'm sure I gave you twenty dollars. You've short changed me... by five dollars.
ÌýÌý 3. All of my products undergo rigorous safety tests. Not ONE person has died using them.
Yes! That's right! Through lying I can make FIVE DOLLARS EVERY TIME! Sometimes, as with the last scenario, I can make a heck of a lot more! (And you can too)
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By the way, when you next check your bank statement you might be confused by the amount of money going to my organisation. If you do, STOP, take a deep breath and repeat after me - "CONFUSION IS A NEGATIVE EMOTION. I AM HAPPY WITH THIS".
I'm happy with it too. x
Grippenschaaft is written by Thomas Nelstrop and Simeon Goulden.
Comment number 1.
At 13th Sep 2009, MacScroggie wrote:At best this stuff raises a cynical smile.
But it's hardly entertainment and it certainly isn't comedy.
Perhaps a few "F words" would get modern audiences rolling in the isles ?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)