大象传媒

Realised that this is where my license fee goes. Cringe.

I was late for a meeting and put my bag on the table to take out my folder. A tampax in my bag must have caught on the edge of the folder and it cart-wheeled across the table in a long slow arc landing right in the middle.
鈥淥h, l could use that!鈥� I said and grabbed it, stuffing it in my bag.
I think I got away with it鈥︹��.

I was writing a SATs maths question up on the board which refered to a number or cooks making ice cream. As I backed away from the board to read through the question to my utter mortification I had written about a number of co*ks instead.......I siddled accross in front of the whiteboard endeavouring to sheepishly add to the 'c' on the board to achieve an 'o'...... it's fair to say I think most people realised what I had written.....

Once I was a delivery driver for a pizza company. I rang the bell to deliver the pizza and a very good looking young man came to the door, glistening wet with a towell around his waist, obviously having just stepped out of the shower. Inside I thought "MMM nice" I handed him the pizza and he gave me the money and told me I could keep the change. I then went to say thank you back but to my embarrassement instead of saying Thank You I said "SEXY" The poor guy just looked at me, smiled and shut the door. Such fun !

Mine's a similar story to another one on here. On showing a really good looking and impecably mannered estate agent around our house, I developed a bit of a crush. When it came to say goodbye, he thanked me for showing him round. Me reply was 'your lovely', I meant to say welcome! Cue one bright red face and a rather embarrassed silence!!

Nagged the boss to get outt a of the way of us workers, and he turned round and told me "you're not my wife"... Praise the Lord, was all I could say!

I was asked in an interview 'who in the world, living or dead, would you most like to meet?' I thought about it for a while. I mean it's so difficult isn't it? In the end I played it safe & said 'living'.

This show is awesome! I adore it, it is the funniest, cleverest thing on entertainment on TV right now! Keep on making us laugh Miranda!

We had a bit of a family get together this weekend. At around 3 in the morning, I got up to look out of the window and saw my brother sitting in his car with the engine running, and talking on this phone. I started waving my arms trying to get his attention and signal him down the road. He turned and seemed to just stare back at me, still on his phone. Annoyed I sent him a text, when he was still talking away on his mobile, I decided to ring up. I think you know where this is going. My brother was in bed and non to plussed at having been woken up, it was someone else in a similar looking car staring back at me, probably puzzled at this mad woman at the window at 3am in the morning gesturing him to move on. So embarassed, I've been cringing all day and the constant teasing by family members hasn't helped.

Why is this series not funny? Getting of with Gary is so not working.

Standing in bank. Feeling hot. Undid the buttons on my jacket and stood with hands in pockets. People staring. Looked down. Had undone buttons on shirt. Favourite, grey bra on show for all to see.
So many people say I remind them of Miranda. If you ever need an older, slightly larger long lost older sister - I'm your man (although I am a woman and that is an expression of speech). I do occasionally get asked if I'm a man in drag or once when I had my haircut I was asked if I was the butch half of a lesbian couple (not that there is anything wrong being the butch half of a lesbian couple.