Paper Monitor
16:14 UK time, Thursday, 26 April 2012
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Paper Monitor is in favour of umbrellas as much as the next man or woman. Indeed having yet again been soaked during its lunch hour today, the brolly's worth has only increased.
So is an umbrella a news story? Well, up to a point Lord Copper. Meaning no. Except in one peculiar circumstance - if a duchess is sheltering under the aforementioned canopy.
For today's newspapers are full of graphic images - parapluie porn if you will - of
Catherine Middleton being sheltered from the capricious elements by her husband's umbrella.
"Undercover Duchess" .
For the Daily Express's cover " yesterday, thanks to husband William's umbrella."
The Daily Mail sees it as old fashioned chivalry: "Gallant: William shelters Kate."
Paper Monitor, who was brought up on the creed "Dog bites man - not news, man bites dog - news" - needed to lie down in a dark room to puzzle this one out. A duchess + an umbrella = news, apparently.
But just as the press card was about to be handed in, Paper Monitor catches sight of the Daily Star's front page.
"It's long to rain over us", it punned next to a pic of the Royal Couple. Ah, so that's it, there is a story here. It's raining and it's going to keep raining for a long, long time in this green and pleasnt land. Rain is the new zeitgeist and the press wants more of it.
Except wasn't that yesterday's news? Clearly an umbrella and a princess really can take on not just the elements but the news agenda and win.
The 
