Paper Monitor
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Plans to deploy UK troops in Mali have been shoved aside on the front page of The Sun in favour . That has yet to happen.
This faintly sinister prediction of a "pub inferno" in which "Sunita dies" is (for the benefit of any confused foreign visitors) an example of a classic tabloid stand-by: Reporting events on Coronation Street with the same gravity and sense of drama as events in real life.
The headline "Rovers Reburn" will probably not go down as one of the Sun's finest, suggesting, incorrectly, that this will not be the first time "iconic Street boozer" the Rovers Return has been destroyed by fire.
Paper Monitor would have gone with Conflagration Street - relegated to a strap line on the inside pages.
But beating rivals to the big soap scoops still matters in Fleet Street - and there is no sign of the story in The Mirror, which .
And a picture of Posh spice in a chip shop.
"Hollywood to a British chippy is a journey back to the real world for Victoria Beckham," opines the paper in its leader column.
"No wonder the bewildered Spice Mum looked as if she was in the wrong plaice."
Which is nice. Except they used the same fishy pun in the picture caption. Must fry harder.