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Talk about Newsnight

Paul Mason's Idle Scrawl

Markets: from bad to verse

  • Paul Mason
  • 28 Feb 07, 05:02 PM

To mark for city types in London I am doing tonight's market anaylsis in verse...

When Shanghai falls by 9 per cent per night
And Greenspan speaks of doom, maybe this year
Big swinging London stock brokers take fright
Yet fundamentals say: irrational fear
For global growth's crescendo has not peaked
Nor is the cycle broke at fundament
The carnage panicked traders swiftly wreaked
Sparked from that crashing comet, sentiment

Six figure bonuses in wallets stashed,
The city guys and girls attempt sang froid
Hedged to the hilt, what if the market's crashed
Short selling leaves bank's money unalloyed
If this be worry then its cheek' unflushed
Speak but US credit, tones are hushed

Why can the screens go red if times are fine?
With too much cash in search of high returns
Some will buy plonk at prices of good wine
And when the cork is pulled their money burns...

To justify the money paid for shares
Even Chinese growth of 9 per cent
Is not enough. So traders dump their wares
We find what's been legit, and what been bent...
So do we face correction or a crash
Ask not the men who live by graphs and curves

For me I think this fallback will unwind
Corporate profits down but not yet
If you are one of the worrying kind
Worry about the big unanswered query
- Can China's ceaseless growth remain full steam
- To finance US debt, the biggest ever seen?

All forward looking statements in this rhyme
Involve risks and are only true at this time

Comments  Post your comment

  • 1.
  • At 06:18 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • Tim Todhunter wrote:

Heidegger said that poetry brings us closer to the mystery of being. I don't think this is what he had in mind...

  • 2.
  • At 07:50 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • dicky wrote:

the gansta rap version

to make a wedge yoo gotta live on da edge,
Gimme bling, party fling,
stay the course, no remorse.

i got shares in guns and buns,
from A to Zee ,
flash harry
with mega sports car
i even got shares in a battlestar. [chorus]

got my hand on the tiller,
racing fast, its a thriller,
Staying safe staying strong
going in heavy and long.

chorus

take the cream, live da dream,
playing with ma candles,
don't be a dick for a tick,
knowing when to fold is da trick.

chorus.


  • 3.
  • At 08:45 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • Paul Mason wrote:

Heidegger wrote a book called Being and Time
Which, with his central concept of "Dasien", did rhyme
Unfortunately he also joined a political party in 1933
Whose full acronym was NSDAP.

  • 4.
  • At 09:37 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • Paul Mason wrote:

THOSE COLES NOTES IN FULL

Verse 1:
1: The Shanghai stock market fell by 9% last night.
2: Alan Greenspan made a speech warning of recession in 2007 as a possibility in the USA
3: The FTSE fell by more than 2%, and continued to slide today
4: The world economy is growing well and at Davos world leaders were told of a cloudless horizon
8: Sentiment refers to the intangible vibes felt by traders when they have been speculating in a market where the authorities are about to clamp down on speculators.

Verse 2:
People with investments will have "hedged" against this big fall in the markets by making a "spread bet" on it falling further or rising back. I am reliably informed this can offset any actual losses. Many banks use "short selling" to ride out falling markets, effectively betting on the extent of the fall, and since they do this with their own money, so-called proprietory trading, that money tends to survive such shocks.
Sang froid is a French term meaning "cold blood", here rhymed with "alloyed" by the author in mocking self reference to his own humble schooling at Thornleigh Salesian College, Bolton.

Verse 3
Here "plonk" and "good wine" are used as metaphors, a common device in English literature, here standing for the quality of investment vehicles. The deputy CEO of the Shanghai stock exhcange once told this reporter that not all shares on the exchange could be accurately valued. (See Newsnight passim October 2003). The "cork" pulled is again a metaphoric reference: during market corrections often seriously overvalued stocks are revealed to be such.

Verse 5:
Many commentators believe the big worry in the world economy is the structural imbalance whereby Chinese savers are paying for the USA's debt, and the USA's consumer debt threatens to unwind, causing a recession in the US. See Graham Turner's comments in the piece.

Verse 6:
This final couplet is the author's witty attempt to parody the small print that caveats all financial statements since the Sarbanes Oxley Act.

  • 5.
  • At 11:20 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • David wrote:

Does Paul Mason realize that "fundament" is another word for "a*se"? A good description of his attempt perhaps. The journalist's job is to communicate. Why complicate things by straining language and syntax in an attempt to versify? (Sorry Paul - I am sure you mean well, and I am sure thousands of people disagree with my view).

  • 6.
  • At 11:32 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • A controversial spectator wrote:

The poetic wit of the bit..
Says every number 1 is a hit...
The rise of the chart...
Wakes the populace smart...
To the banking of thought in the pit

Nothing is left to chance..
The shakes and moves of the dance...
The news from the bourse in France...
And the suggestions of occasional glance...
Or the pastie to burgher of prince

Autopoesis was the thought
What every smart economist bought
What every biologist taught
And what every stupid intellect caught

The reality is a difference of worth
Distribbed by the gang bangs of mirth
The movement of qualities of earth
And the risk of a practical dearth

Where the money belongs is a quest
The people like to deserve it best
But the wealth of the nation
goes to standing oration
And the rest is farmed out to the rest...

We are fans of the shit or the great
The inputs whether early or late
The interplay of mate to mate
And the efforts of those to berate

In the end poetics is like genetics it takes genius and gentlemen...

2300 to 2330 28 Feb 2007 BCD


CHINA:

Really fascinating NN insight into an aspect of Chinese life - look fwd to more *

* very impressive lingual skills of Beeb reporter

Made me think somewhat.

As we look forward, what makes war more/less likely & over what?

Political Ideology or Resources *

* war sanctioned by population now accustomed/used to a better life

Ref Chinese share blip, an economic reminder - though much manufacturing outsourced to China, who will trust them with Professional Services (very few if any) so the West is safe (for now).

TIRED LABOUR:

A reasonable exercise of policy debate via the website [1] except for the timing & current context.

Fooling no-one [2]

Basically looks like the Blairites would rather do own goal damage to New Labour & Gordon Brown, rather than see Brown ascend without challenge **

** presume they are so passionate because they actually KNOW what many us suspect about Gordon abilities / liabilities

Q. so are ex ministers & Blairites & known enemies of Gordon Brown 'Charles Clarke & Alan Milburn' doing this spoiling exercise, for self/party/national interest?

btw - Michael Meacher asked a very good question today in PMQ's ref Private Equity, esp in comparison to usually toadying ones by Back Benchers [3] but shouted down by New Labour & dismissed by Blair (presumably because they are embarrassed about the parties reliance/connections too Private Equity funding) [4a] [4b]

vikingar

SOURCES:

[1]
[2]
[3]
[4a]
[4b]

  • 8.
  • At 11:38 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • Bill Eliot wrote:


A crowd flowed over London Bridge,so many
I had not thought death had undone so many..

  • 9.
  • At 11:57 PM on 28 Feb 2007,
  • A cost planning poetician wrote:

The cost to the lost of the found
Knew only a quite limited bounds
Hot news chased like a fox by the hounds
Stuff bought on presumable grounds

The can of the man with the span
Playing with money they nicked from the gran
Via the emails over the LAN
Is something the fans ought to plan

The poetic wit of the bit..
Says every number 1 is a hit...
The rise of the chart...
Wakes the populace smart...
To the banking of thought in the pit

Nothing is left to chance..
The shakes and moves of the dance...
The news from the bourse in France...
And the suggestions of occasional glance...
Or the pastie to burgher of prince

Autopoesis was the thought
What every smart economist bought
What every biologist taught
And what every stupid intellect caught

The reality is a difference of worth
Distribbed by the gang bangs of mirth
The movement of qualities of earth
And the risk of a practical dearth

Where the money belongs is a quest
The people like to deserve it best
But the wealth of the nation
goes to standing oration
And the rest is farmed out to the rest...

We are fans of the shit or the great
The inputs whether early or late
The interplay of mate to mate
And the efforts of those to berate

In the end poetics is like genetics it takes genius and gentlemen...


  • 10.
  • At 12:39 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • wrote:

The death throws of a capitalist system there will be more before it is buried and gone.

Today mankind used the total output of three planets (I don`t just mean oil) as we know there is only one planet.That is not sustainable in the SHORT term let alone the long term.When it goes we will not be in a recession but a depression that we will never recover from (click on my name).

But there again do we not live just for today,tomorrow can take care of itself.

Earth provides enough for man's need, but not man's greed.
Mohatma Gandi (1869-1948)

  • 11.
  • At 12:40 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • Parrotoik the Pontificator wrote:

ICE FLOAT! Should we buy bergs and freeze our assets??? What is the melting index of berg to flood ratios?

Ice caps... what a liquid investment with intriguing logistical delivery properties...

Check the INUIT Ice News Underwriting Investment Technology ...with Eskimo: Market movement query and positioning software....

The market movers.. penguins, seals, polar bears, mooses, eskimos, subs, ice breakers, igloos...inspired!


What is the economics of it... the value of a berg... the risk and cost of a flood... what is the melting index of berg to flood ratios and investment and return in a hedging market... of berg tonnes to flood areas...should we buy bergs and freeze our assets???

To be a real Emperor penguin: £1million = 50,000 acres of ice float ... various ranks of penguin float ownership, nest egg guardians, shivering, walking, and schluming through the market, down to the grade of pingu, generations of pingu!

Seals... would blubber if the ice melted ...want to seal it to stop that... they fish for catch to grow in blubber ...seal ranks... A Bridgitte is a buy of 50 seal cubs and the Bardot is the entry level spot price...

Polar bears... roam through the market bearishly aggressively nosey eating weak penguins to grow large strong and fat... mr and mrs with cubs

Eskimos... fish for catch, seals, penguin, and polar bears..

Igloos are investment houses {policed from pigloos}

Subs ... patrol under the market, periscope, and report back

Research scientists...

Ice breakers...plough through the market to reopen trading channels

Tundra...chaps who want it melted...

Mooses: Mathematical Object Oriented Sea Estimaters

And ice grades re age: the price in one year old ice..isn't the same as 5000 year old ice...lots of kudos ranks and title in it!!! prestige as planet saviours!!

Fridges: investment packagers' holding positions...short term open access.. Freezers: are longer term...Fridge Freezers and freezer cabinets...melting ice could be a massive liability and therefore cheap but the ice melt may be insignificant but premiums rising and therefore highly valuable...

Plankton...green voters ...and whales...government tax collectors who want their money without having to digest their issues!

From a chilly novice parrotoik ..a old joke, buy now..!


50 years to damn the arctic circle...like the great wall of china...damn drakes passage ...damn natal to Freetown across the equator! !?!? and connect the continents..the dedication of pyramids required...massive house sized bulldozers to dig out tidal shallows excavate the desserts and flood them...

We should print a new currency..a financial exchange product for the work.. the "Earthsave"


  • 12.
  • At 01:26 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • Bendicto the know wrote:

From stallone to capone
Its a day on the phone
Working who gotta own
For what yeild of fields sown
Where they are in the cone
Check the risk of their loan
Make the hot women moan
And the bad boys groan...
The forecast of grown
Has gotta be known
Cos if we are alone
We are blown!!

I'm benedict the predict
What gets the dodgy boys nicked
Dialects the conflict
And forecasts the vict...
Bendicto the know
Gets the good stuff to grow
Gets you out of your low
Speeds you out of your slow
Acts like a mate with your bro
Gets the markets to flow
With the glow of the know

A saint he is
He's a billy the wizz
And he knows the bizz
Grew up comrades of liz
Wins the markets and fizz
Cos he needs no zzzz
And he's free with his jizz with the mizz..

Putting it further faster than the knowing of the flowing by the rowing...


The control of the resources for corporate debt,
is the product of lifestyles that have no regret,
with foresight in ignorance, hindsight is stated,
a loophole in law, for the calculated.

The control of the resource is done by migration,
outvote the outnumbered, the timeless invasion.
The hereditary rich, hold the positions of power,
in reserve for their offspring, an obligatory endower.

On inflationary wages they steer a course
to financial disaster, that stems from the source.
The top 100 companies, a misconception of words,
the consequence of past excesses and exhausted reserves.

Restructure the company, refinance the debt,
a new product life-cycle, obscuring old products inept,
forecast the earnings, gloss on the cost,
dust-cover old account sheets, the last speculative loss.

Yesteryear's equity, today's glorified junk,
tomorrow's worth estimates, legally; we can only debunk.
New purpose built factories and office block costs,
in mortar and bricks, the investment whitewash.

The stockmarket financing the snowball effect,
growing cities of concrete, the crimes we detect,
when the burden is greater than a country can take,
solution; expansion to an emerging economy of late.

When the economies collapse, and they restart again,
corporate debt-mountain doubles, to laud a politic refrain,
and while nature is dying, and her pockets become bare,
upon this decimated Earth, our vision apparent,
is nothing but, a barren stare.

Ref George Dutton #11

"The death throws of a capitalist system there will be more before it is buried and gone"

Pardon? you sound like 'Rick - The Peoples Poet' from The Young Ones [1]

Are you:

1) an old socialist - embittered?

OR

2) a new wet behind the ears socialist - who has yet to do anything other than to indulge in left wing fantasies & smoke dope?

Capitalism has outlasted past systems & will out last any of today's systems, period :)

Q. or do you have some shinning alternative working example too reference?

But you are entitled to dream … you socialist sausage

vikingar

SOURCES:

[1]

  • 15.
  • At 08:29 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • George Dutton wrote:

15. At 02:55 AM on 01 Mar 2007, vikingar wrote:
Ref George Dutton #11

"The death throws of a capitalist system there will be more before it is buried and gone"

Pardon? you sound like 'Rick - The Peoples Poet' from The Young Ones [1]

Are you:

1) an old socialist - embittered?

OR

2) a new wet behind the ears socialist - who has yet to do anything other than to indulge in left wing fantasies & smoke dope?

Capitalism has outlasted past systems & will out last any of today's systems, period :)

Q. or do you have some shinning alternative working example too reference?

But you are entitled to dream … you socialist sausage

vikingar

Time will tell.
Reading your post tells me you have not taken your Medication AGAIN?.

  • 16.
  • At 09:54 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • BIG BEN wrote:

BIG BEN THINKING OF THE BEN WEALTHY ABOUT THE BAD TO VERSE {INSPIRED BY A WESTWOOD FAN}

The bong of the hour
From the London tower
What look down on the rest
Of who think they know best
Reigns above the sour
Of de people wiv power
Who don't like des flowers
Of the beauty of life

They wanna trouble and strife
All the husband class wifes
They wanna pressious the press
To make us feel their distress
They wanna make us all less
With their society guess

They think of billions of dosh
Beneath the inspiring cloche
Yet they are trying to wash
Out the colours of posh

So they fight the good fight
Wiv all their might
To earn right of the height
Of the cvs of sh!te

And Their height is so small
Their intellectual stalls
Do not enthrall
The worlds of choice

Cos we've all got each a voice
We don't need a rolls Royce
We can just talk to the boys
With the voice of invoice...

And we sell by the bell
Live in heaven
Not their hell
Cos we are doing well
Without their cvs of sh!te



  • 17.
  • At 10:24 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • bill shepherd wrote:

Reminds me of the couplet

" But far too numerous was the herd of such
Who thought too little and talked too much"

  • 18.
  • At 11:11 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • wrote:

I don`t like Greenspan he exposes a society of greed.But make no mistake the man has an immense intellect even though it is flawed.

  • 19.
  • At 11:30 AM on 01 Mar 2007,
  • Showing off the OE in poetry wrote:


They think control of resources
Comes with the think of the courses
That they study in the unis for marks

But the players think with the horses
And the mix of the sources
And the fighting with the thinking of Marx

The LMC are remedial
The they think like they need you all
And expect that you need them too...

And With their structivist think
and their beliefs in the shrinks
They're the kind of labour that thinks with the new...

So the way that we plays
Takes them hundreds of days
Thinking with the thesistics like mazes

Whilst we think with the graze
Of the hundreds of ways
Of making money with the Jours de lays

From a man getting fit on debenefit


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