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Here's Martha with news of tonight's Newsnight & Newsnight Review:

European summits ain't what they used to be. I have fond memories of the Nice Treaty. Not its political significance, you understand, but the magnificent buffet provided by our French hosts. Nowadays the poor journalists and ministers all go to the Justus Lipsius building in Brussels which is, of course, much more efficient but lacks a certain glamour. Unless you count the presence of our Diplomatic Editor, Mark Urban, who was once famously described as having saturnine good looks.

Now that the Lisbon Treaty is set - finally - to be ratified, Mark will be asking what difference will it make to the EU? And I will be asking my guests if it is just a tidying up exercise or the route to an EU super state. We'll also be exploring who will be getting the top jobs and if David Miliband wants to become the new High Representative.

Michael Crick has been causing mischief in Taunton in Somerset where a blogger has apparently caused several councillors to resign.

And Kirsty has been interviewing that giant of American literature, Philip Roth about his new novella. .

We will be discussing that book - The Humbling - with my Review guests at 11pm, who this week are Marina Hyde, Johann Hari and Jonathan Tallis.

But our main focus will be celebrity culture with several different takes on that. There's the new documentary Starsuckers which has famously hoaxed a number of newspapers into running mad "sleb" stories - like Pixie Geldof stuffing sweets in her bra and Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud being a secret expert on quantum mechanics.

There's a more soft focus view of fame with the new film showing Michael Jackson during his final rehearsals. But is it simply cashing in on his memory?

And we'll look at Reality Killed the Video Star - Robbie Williams' new album. Did the media want him to fail even before it came out?

Do join me from 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Martha

Here is what is coming up on the programme:

European Union leaders are in Brussels for a two-day summit aimed at settling a number of thorny issues, including the ratification of the Lisbon Treaty and how to finance the fight against climate change.

Tonight, Mark Urban, who is also in Brussels, will have the latest on what is being achieved and on another issue hitting the headlines - Tony Blair's chances of becoming the first president of the European Council.

Leaders are to discuss the matter informally over dinner tonight - will they find it the perfect digestif or somewhat unpalatable?

And Jeremy Paxman will be talking to senior European politicians about what kind of European presidency they would like to see and their visions for the future of the EU.

Plus, with just six weeks to go before the crucial UN climate conference in Copenhagen, Susan Watts has been in the city for a series of cross-party talks which are helping to shape the agenda.

She has spoken to key players including the Danish prime minister and Wang Guangtao, the architect of China's climate change legislation.

Also, Richard Watson reports on the ´óÏó´«Ã½'s plan to cut the amount it spends on the salaries of some 640 senior managers by a quarter over the next three-and-a-half years.

And Jeremy will be speaking to ´óÏó´«Ã½ Trust chairman Sir Michael Lyons and Shadow Culture Secretary, Jeremy Hunt.

Tonight we'll be asking why the Ministry of Defence put financial savings before safety following the publication of a devastating, independent report into the fatal 2006 Nimrod crash. Fourteen crewmen died when the aircraft blew up after air-to-air refuelling over Kandahar when leaking fuel made contact with a hot air pipe. Charles Haddon-Cave QC, the author of the report, said that the government had failed to meet its obligations to British servicemen in a "systematic breach of the military covenant." We hope to speak to the Defence Secretary, Bob Ainsworth.

We have an exclusive film from Liz MacKean about the threat of dissident Irish Republicanism. She has seen confidential files which reveal that dissident activity against the police in Northern Ireland is on the rise. We'll be speaking to the Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, Shaun Woodward and Sinn Fein's Gerry Kelly.
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Our Political Editor Michael Crick will be gauging reaction amongst MPs to the news that they will face wide-ranging cuts to their second homes allowances and other expenses. The independent inquiry led by Sir Christopher Kelly into MPs expenses will publish its findings next week. So what tactics might MPs who are unhappy about Sir Christopher's proposed changes employ to try to dilute them?

And is television comedy becoming boring because of tighter rules and regulations on what entertainers can say - what is and what is not an acceptable joke in 2009?

It's Jeremy presenting tonight - join him at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Here's Kirsty with news of what's happening at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

In Afghanistan where eight more soldiers died today, there is not one but two battles being fought. The battle to conquer the Taliban, and another equally devastating battle, to keep women and their babies alive. Maternal mortality is one of the country's most persistent problems and Lyse Doucet has been to the remote region of Badakshan to see what happens to all too many women there. Her film is very moving, as women desperately try to help each other in a society where women can't even seek medical help without their husband's permission - and there's scant medical assistance anyway. .

The leader, the candidate, an affair and a rebellion. David Cameron has given his wholehearted support today to Elizabeth Truss who has been selected as the Conservative candidate for South West Norfolk. Her affair some years ago with a Tory MP, Mark Field, was not raised during the selection process. Now the constituency party is not entirely relaxed and is holding a meeting at 6pm tonight to review the situation. It is highly unlikely that the result of tonight's deliberations will be deselection, but it brings to light the Tory tussle between local control and centralised command, which is only going to become more intense as new selection rules are introduced in the New Year.

Has homophobia really gone away or is it just in the closet? The shocking attack on James Parkes, a trainee police officer, in the gay quarter of Liverpool, has left him in a critical condition. The police are treating it as a homophobic hate crime. Should it be made clearer in schools that homophobia - like racism - is a punishable offence?

Join me at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Here's Kirsty with details about what's happening in tonight's Newsnight:
Tony Blair for EU president? He's not even officially a candidate, but the money is on him already and we don't even know the full job description. The new role, created under the Lisbon treaty, is to replace the unstable six month rotating presidencies. At the EU Summit on Thursday leaders are supposed to rubber stamp nominations for the top jobs, but there's a lot of horse-trading going on, with rumours that France's Nicolas Sarkozy has gone cold on the former PM, and concerns from the smaller EU members about a "high profile" president. Tonight we'll be live from several EU capitals.

In England and Wales there are certain criteria for entering faith schools, and an almighty row about what these are and should be has gone all the way to the UK's new Supreme Court. Is being a Jew a matter of bloodline or religious practice? Do parents have to "prove" an adequate level of religious observance? The Court of Appeal ruled in July that because Jews are also defined as an ethnic group under the Race Relation Act, denying a child admission solely on the basis that their mother isn't Jewish would count as unlawful discrimination. If the Supreme Court upholds this ruling other challenges could follow.

The shadow chancellor, George Osborne, has described the main planks of the government's economic policy as broken. To encourage more lending to businesses, Mr Osborne has called for banks to pay big bonuses in shares not cash. Is this a good idea - is it workable?

And should MPs be allowed to employ relatives? And if not might they resort to "wife-swapping" to get around the rules? We'll have one of the rebelling relatives, attached to a high profile Conservative, live in debate in the studio.

Do join me at 10.30pm.

"Buddy can you spare a dime", "Dancing in the dark", "Life is just a bowl of cherries", all phrases that were coined during the Great Depression and have remained in the American lexicon.

As fixed as the haunting images of migrant families captured by Dorothea Lange's unparalleled photographs.

The Great Depression shaped modern America, literally in the great skyscrapers, and metaphorically as the Depression gave way to World War II, the Cold War, and ultimately the greed of the Gordon Gecko years.

But has it taken this new crash to bring America to its senses?

In a special edition of Newsnight and Newsnight Review tonight live from New York, we explore the economic and cultural landscape that was created out of the Wall Street crash 80 years ago tomorrow, and ask if our present travails are anything approaching the same scale.

We have a stellar guest list. In the studio historian Simon Schama, queen of the internet and Republican-turned-Democrat Arianna Huffington, banker Liaquat Ahamed (whose book Lords of Finance points to the actions of four bankers in the 20s as central to the crash), and the novelist Hari Kunzru.

Already in the can, Jay McInerney, who has some extraordinary observations of his own, which he is working into a new book. Get this - he says people on the Upper East Side are pretending to have lost money through the Madoff scandal.

Meanwhile, Philip Roth speaks of this as just another dark time in a series of dark times in America.

Paul Mason has made two archive-rich films to kick off discussions.

First, he asks if the 1929 crash taught Ben Bernanke and others a lesson that helped avoid a depression this time.

And second a film on the cultural response to 1929 - the literature of Steinbeck and Henry Roth, the "talkies" which portrayed the underbelly of American life, and the state-induced saccharine of screwball comedies like Bringing up Baby.

Then we'll look at the cultural response this time around.

TV sitcoms now focus on family life again. In Hank, Kelsey Grammer is an entrepreneur who loses his job and moves to small town America. In the explicit Hung a teacher who is struggling to make ends meet becomes a male prostitute. Oliver Stone (who only last year said he couldn?t imagine revisiting Wall Street) is currently making Wall Street II, with Michael Douglas reprising the role of Gordon Gecko.

And, of course, like Banquo's ghost, Michael Moore has turned up with his own trumpet blast at the bankers with Capitalism, A Love Story.

The sparks will fly, so do join us live from New York at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Kirsty

Here's Emily with details of what's coming up tonight:

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen we bring you Cheryl Cole, live, in the studio, singing a bit, and discussing current affairs in split trousers.

Okay Maitlis, nice try.

Tonight, in the absense of Cheryl Cole, we bring viewers of cult-viewing-show-Newsnight a rigorous debate on the very future of the Royal Mail.

Does postal communcation in 2009 feel like mining in 1984? Will this strike signal the beginning of the end of a service many feel is becoming less and less relevent?

Newsnight has an exclusive poll tonight which reveals just how highly esteemed the Royal Mail actually is by the general public. We ask if people still know the name of their postman.

Well, do you?

Also tonight:

'Kill Emily Howell'
The composer that is receiving death threats because - some believe - she goes against the very spirit of music creation. We will listening to some of her music and debating whether she should, in fact, be dead.

Sound a little extreme? Call it the spirit of the age. Or at least the night.

Peter Hain? We're relying on you to be watching, tonight, sir.

Join us, 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½2. I said TWO, that's 2.

Emily

Here is what is coming up on the programme:

Tonight we debate what has happened to the white working class.

Ahead of a controversial ´óÏó´«Ã½ appearance by BNP leader Nick Griffin, Jackie Long has been to the town of Blurton to examine claims that Britain's white working class have been left behind, allowing the BNP and far-right groups to flourish.

Also, Newsnight's Defence Editor Mark Urban has been to Kineton, Warwickshire, to find out how UK forces are working to limit the threat of the Taliban's tactic of choice - improvised explosive devices.

As British forces employ more heavily-armoured vehicles to protect them as they move around, the Taliban have reacted with bigger bombs and multiple IEDs aimed at trapping soldiers trying to rescue injured comrades.

Plus, Lyse Doucet has an interview with the senior UN envoy in Afghanistan, Kai Eide - a man who has been playing a key role in the Afghan election process from the start.

Join Jeremy at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Here's what is coming up tonight:

"We believe that this decision of the IEC is legitimate, legal and constitutional and that it strengthens the path towards democracy." Afghan President Hamid Karzai said today as he confirmed that he will take part in a run-off for the Afghan presidency against Dr Abdullah Abdullah in two weeks time .

Tonight, Lyse Doucet will be reporting for Newsnight from Kabul.

We will have the latest on the decision, the international pressure which brought it to fruition, the difficult security issues from a second vote and the all important question of whether Afghanistan ensure that this round is fraud free.

Also we have a new film in our series about young people leaving the care system.

Tonight, Liz MacKean catches up with Phil, who is turning 18. Phil has been in several foster homes over the years and must now prepare to move on from his latest foster placement and live on his own. .

And we will be looking into claims that the problem of sex trafficking has been exaggerated and that the number of people who have been brought into the UK and forced against their will into prostitution is much smaller than claimed. We hope to be speaking to one of the politicians who pressed for change to sex trade laws in England and Wales.

Join Jeremy later.

Hamid Karzai lacks enough votes for an outright win in the Afghan elections. That's according to the Electoral Complaints Commission (ECC) who have ruled that 1.3 million votes from August's election are invalid. Under election rules, Mr Karzai now faces a run-off against rival Abdullah Abdullah - an outcome that the Afghan president has been fiercely resisting. Tonight our Diplomatic Editor Mark Urban will be outlining what all this means, and Lyse Doucet is in Afghanistan and plugged in to the Kabul rumour mill. Lyse has also been speaking to a representative from the ECC. We'll have interviews with the major players as we ask what's next for Afghanistan.

It is 49 days now to the crucial Copenhagen climate summit. In one of a series of pre-meetings, the Major Economies Forum is in London today, bringing together 17 of the world's biggest greenhouse gas-emitting countries. Our Science Editor Susan Watts will be giving us her analysis of today's events and we'll hear the view from China, the US and from our own Energy Secretary, Ed Miliband.

And Sir Ludovic Kennedy the legendary writer and broadcaster has died at the age of 89. He is perhaps best known for his relentless pursuit of miscarriages of justice and was a familiar face on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two on Newsnight's predecessor programmes. We will be remembering him.

Do join Jeremy at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Here's Emily with details of what's coming up in tonight's Newsnight (scroll down for news of what's happening on Review from Martha)

Publish and Be Damned?

At the heart of tonight's programme lie just 25 sentences that we may never get to see as they remain - for now - shrouded in secrecy, on the orders of the UK government.

They detail what happened to a terrorist suspect in custody. The British government has refused to make them public saying they breach our intelligence relationship with the United States and therefore our national security long term.

Tonight, the High Court ruled that it was overwhelmingly in the public interest to publish them.

Tonight, we ask Mr Miliband what he makes of the outright rejection of his argument by Britain's top judges.

Gaza 'war crimes'

"No, we didn't abstain - we didn't vote."
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Confused? We were. Apparently, there is a key difference between the UK government abstaining and not voting when the UN Human Rights Council backed a report into the Israeli offensive in Gaza.

Earlier I put it to David Miliband the position amounted to "mealy mouthed fence sitting".

You can see his response to that this evening.

Also tonight, we'll be asking how much sympathy there is here for the position of Geert Wilders - the Dutch politician who calls the Koran a fascist document that should be banned and says he is against Islamic culture and Islamisation of the West.

Should he have been allowed into Britain? Was he war mongering in seeking to come here or demonstrating that the UK is indeed, a country that can tolerate dissenting voices in the name of freedom of speech?

And the man who is reportedly twice as successful as the CIA in making predictions.

Bruce Bueno de Mesquita uses maths, science and the logic of brazen self interest to see into the future.

Does it work? Could he tell us how the Israeli Palestinian peace talks will end up or indeed what the outcome of a UK general election would be?

Tell us what you fancy finding out - within reason - and we'll ask him how he would come to his conclusions.

Do join me tonight at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Emily

And then in Review...

Is the artist starving in their garret back in vogue? After the excesses of recent years, there seems to be a new puritanism in the art world provoked by recession.

We'll be exploring the complex relationship between creativity and commerce beginning with a major show about pop art at Tate Modern.

From the woman who makes copies of Warhol's own mass produced images to the artist who has sex with a collector for 20,000 dollars, the exhibition explores art in a material world. Damien Hirst's False Idol, the calf in a gold case is there. But he's now returned to painting with a new show hubristically sited amid the 19th century masters of the Wallace collection. Is this back to basics or an ingenious new twist in brand Hirst?

And we'll also discuss whether the new work on the Turner Prize shortlist reflects our changing times.

The panel is Grayson Perry - whose new work the Walthamstow Tapestry has much to say about the world of brands, the chief art critic of The Times Rachel Campbell-Johnson and Ekow Eshun from the ICA.

Do join us at 11pm.

Martha

Here is Gavin with what is coming up on the programme:

Today's Quote for the Day:

"You know, Gordon, I should not like you. You are Scottish, we have nothing in common and you are an economist. But somehow Gordon, I love you. But not in a sexual way" - French President Nicolas Sarkozy conversing with the prime minister.

In tonight's programme:

We have an exclusive story on the Royal Mail dispute - we hope. We're working hard on it as I write this. We hope to break the story at 10.30pm.

Plus: the death of the Dollar as the world reserve currency? What would it mean?

We'll also be looking at the damning review into defence procurement.

And how the media has changed thanks to the internet, mobile phones and digital technology in the noughties decade.

All that on ´óÏó´«Ã½2 at 10.30pm. Must be worth a watch. Gavin.

Here is Emily with what is coming up on tonight's programme:

Afghanistan:

Tonight, Newsnight hopes to bring you breaking news on the Afghan Conflict. Our Diplomatic Editor is squirreled away, firming things up, so forgive me if, for obvious reasons, I don't go into more detail right now. It should all make sense at 10.30pm.

What we can spell out - indeed what the PM himself spelled out to the Commons this afternoon - was that another 500 British troops would be sent to Afghanistan. He imposed certain conditions - namely that Afghanistan itself would have to train more soldiers and NATO would have to commit more troops and, curiously, that the UK service personnel would have to be properly equipped - a condition presumably, well within his grasp.

The announcement came after one of the most sombre PMQs I can remember - dominated not by future troops, but by those who had lost their lives in Afghanistan during the summer recess. The roll call of the dead - 37, since Parliament last met - took a full two minutes to read out and left its shadow on all the House proceedings thereafter. Tonight, we'll be asking not just about strategy in Afghanistan but about purpose.

Also tonight, we put the Greens on Trial:

Would the cause for climate change be more widely accepted - and acted upon - if their proposal had involved fewer hair shirts and a less cloying scent of burning martyr?
Or - to switch that round - is it possible to be properly green and carry on living our rather carbon-extravagant lives?

The mainstream politicians would tell you that you can - is it only the Greens who are honest enough to tell us sacrifice is essential? Our studio panel of radicals will include Zac Goldsmith and Caroline Lucas.

Read Justin Rowlatt's blog

Also you might recall last night Jeremy promised we'd be throwing a couple of MPs to the lions. Well, you can find out what they made of that one. In the spirit of the Green debate, it might be enough to turn even a lion vegan.

Join me tonight at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two.

Emily

Here is what is coming up on tonight's programme:

MPs from the two main parties at Westminster may challenge the independent auditor - and their leaders - about requests to repay some parliamentary expenses.

Gordon Brown and David Cameron have urged those on all sides to comply with the process. But there is growing anger that the review of claims made over the past five years has led to retrospective limits on some allowances. David Grossman is on the case.

And, who carries the blame when an innocent man dies after being assaulted by the police? That's a question raised following the death of Ian Tomlinson at this year's G20 protests in London.

But it is also a question that is still unanswered 30 years after the death of a teacher in another London demonstration.

His name was Blair Peach and the Metropolitan police commissioner has finally promised to release the findings of their investigation into his death after keeping them secret since 1979.

It was widely reported at the time that the inquiry recommended charges be brought against individual police officers. Tonight, for the first time, the inspector said to have been a prime suspect speaks about his role in an exclusive report from Peter Marshall.

Also, a law firm has abandoned a bid to prevent the British press from reporting proceedings in Parliament.

Carter-Ruck had tried to stop all media revealing that a Labour MP had tabled a question relating to oil-trading firm Trafigura and Ivory Coast toxic waste.

When Paul Farrelly asked about an injunction blocking the publication of a report on the waste, called the Minton report, Carter-Ruck argued that an order stopping media revealing that the report had been blocked applied to Parliament.

Tonight Liz McKean will report on this case and the prevalence of media laws being used by large companies to restrict information.

Join Jeremy for all that and more tonight at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ TWO.

Here is what is coming up in tonight's programme

An extraordinary evening at Westminster. Within the last hour Downing Street has had to admit that the prime minister will repay £12,415 after an independent audit of all MPs' expenses claims since 2004.

Gordon Brown's claims were within the rules but auditor Sir Thomas Legg has said £2,000 a year for cleaning and £1,000 for gardening was sufficient - and the PM claimed considerably more for both.

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg is to repay £910 of the £3,900 he claimed for gardening between 2006 and 2009 and we are expecting far more pay back requests to be revealed by the time we go to air.

We'll discuss the damage caused by Sir Thomas' investigations and the likely fall-out.

Also tonight - why can't ITV find a chairman and what does this tell us about the state of broadcasting?

And we have a special report into the English Defence League - are they really a dangerous right wing organisation or a legitimate protest group for a disenfranchised minority?

Join Jeremy at 10.30pm

Here's Kirsty with news of tonight's programmes:

Tonight it is all about fantasy and reality in Newsnight and Newsnight Review.

Stranger than fiction...

President Barack Obama's Nobel Peace Prize. It has been met, in the main, by shock and incredulity. As one US political commentator said, "Perhaps next they'll start giving Oscars not to the people who have made the best movies of last year, but to the people who have the best chance of making the best movies next year."

Mr Obama says he is "humbled" by the award given by the committee for giving America "hope for a better future."

Does he deserve it? Is he a peacemaker - yet? Has he made the weather in Iran, the Middle East, Russia, North Korea, Afghanistan? Our Diplomatic Editor, Mark Urban will be looking at his record so far.

Today President Obama holds the fourth of five summits to plan the next stage in Afghanistan - whether to send more troops of not. And we will be speaking to the author of the book which is said to have the answers to the Afghan problem - read by everyone in the White House, and to PJ Crowley, assistant secretary at the State Department.

Also tonight, will we have the energy or the money to keep the lights on in 2020? Today Ofgem issued a stark warning about energy prices, saying there is a "high likelihood" of increased energy bills, citing a combination of the need to establish energy security, clean coal technology, investment in new energy sources, and further technological advances to deal with climate change. Bills could rise by as much as twenty-five per cent. Paul Mason will analyse why this has happened and what needs to be done.

And we'll be asking the government minister responsible whether they are to blame and what they intend to do to sort it out.

And then on Review at 11pm: welcome to the fantasy factory!

On the thirtieth anniversary of Douglas Adams' best selling book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy we examine how far sci-fi and fantasy have come, and why.

From the geeky fringes of a counter culture, straight into the mainstream, to multi-million dollar Hollywood deals for the best directors and writers. Is the phenomenal success of a series like Flash Forward pure escapism, or a way of holding a mirror up to our dark times, when little of supposed reality makes sense?

We also examine the appeal of the hit film District 9, a mockumentary set in Johannesburg, in which aliens suffer a new apartheid, and are exploited by the city's violent gang culture.

I'll be joined by uber-geek turned Mr Hollywood cool, director Kevin Smith; comic genius Mark Millar - with his new geek turned superhero, Kick Ass; Eoin Colfer who has inhabited the interplanetary homemade weird-world of Hitchhiker's to write the sequel; writer and self confessed geek Natalie Haynes (minus the spots and specs); and award winning author Jeanette Winterson, who loves science, in fiction.

Together we'll discuss our voracious appetite for fantasy.

Do join us.

Here is Kirsty Wark with what is coming up on tonight's programme:

Tonight we devote most of the programme to David Cameron's party conference speech - delivered as a putative "prime minister in waiting".

It was all about a stronger society, conquering social injustice, combating big government, championing the poor, insisting the rich take their share of the pain, and reforming welfare as we haul ourselves out of the economic doldrums and up to the "summit" where he said the view would be good.

After George Osborne's get tough, tell the truth about the debt mountain and what has to be done to smash it - this speech was designed to say - trust me I can deliver us out of crisis.

Our Economics Editor Paul Mason has been to the North West of England to see how the speech went down.

We'll be speaking to a member of the Shadow Cabinet and then the Newsnight political panel will take the party conferences to pieces to work out what shape the parties are in as we now career towards an election.

And... Strictly Come Dancing's language problems.

Is the "N" word or the "P" word ever acceptable? Carol Thatcher was banished for saying one thing, but Anton keeps on dancing after uttering another thing.

Brucie says it was a bit of fun... tell us what you think here. We will be debating the limits on Newsnight.

Here is Jeremy with what is coming up in tonight's programme:

I confess. I have not been loyally sitting through session after session here in the Manchester conference centre on your behalf.

This morning, I bunked off and went to City Art Gallery. There's a rather interesting exhibition of women surrealists there.

I shall resist cheap jokes, but will disclose that I was a long way short of being the only refugee from the conference there. They included one of the nation's most distinguished commentators, who seemed positively thrilled to have escaped.

So I missed Kelly Holmes talking to the Tories. Yes, that's Kelly Holmes the Olympic gold medallist. Didn't know she was a politician? Nor me. She followed in the steps of James Dyson and Kevin McCloud.

It's some sign of the times that the Conservatives can get people like that to turn up: it only seems yesterday that the best they could manage was Jim Davidson or Patti Boulaye.

There was no suggestion of either of them joining the government, although I suppose Lord Davidson of Billericay has a certain ring to it.

Maybe in the new era, it'll be Lady Emin of (Unmade) Bedfordshire. And a string of obscure baronetcies for Everyone She Has Ever Slept With.

It turns out that half the nation has been having these inconsequential fantasies. Including a bloke who called a Radio Five phone-in this morning and wondered whether Sir Richard Dannatt, the recently retired head of the Army, might like a place in the House of Lords. And then it turned out that David Cameron had been having precisely the same thought. How weird is that?

So, Sir Richard - or as he will doubtless soon be - Lord Dannatt of Dungeneralling - looks set to be joining the Tory ministerial team, if they win the next election.

Well, goody for Cameron. But if Dannatt did take a job with the Tories, wouldn't that mean that all the poisonous whispering from Labour ministers was essentially true? That when he complained about the government not giving the boys in Afghanistan the support they needed he wasn't speaking up for the poor bloody Tommy but plotting a tactical advance for the Opposition?

We'll be chewing that over with former officers now aligned with each big party.

We'll also be interrogating the shadow chancellor, George Osborne, about his Plan to Save The World. You'll recall that he's already told over four million people they'll be worse off if the Conservatives win, so that seems worth a good 10 minutes or so...

And we also have a piece from Mary Jane Baxter, a woman who used to be a journalist, decided to improve herself, and went into millinery.

She's exploring the new age of frugality which is said to have overtaken us. The spirit of make-do-and-mend is supposed to have taken a deep hold.

I rather wish someone had imbibed or dispensed a bit of it last week, when it proved impossible to send a report from Brighton to London. Hold on to your hats.

That's quite enough for now. Lots more at 10.30.

Jeremy Paxman

Greetings from the railways sheds which once housed the Manchester end of the St Pancras railway line. The city has an unfortunate history when it comes to politicians and railways. When William Huskisson attended the opening of the Manchester/Liverpool railway in 1830, he was so keen to have a quick word with the Duke of Wellington that he stepped on to the track, failing to notice Stephenson's Rocket was coming down the line. That was the end of his political ambitions.

No-one has yet been similarly mangled here this week, although Ken Clarke - the closest thing the Conservative Party has to a human version of the Rocket - did have a try at flattening Peter Mandelson this afternoon.

The Tory conference still has two more days of what are comically called 'debates' to run. It's hard to know what name to give the succession of speeches resounding around the old railway sheds here. But debate is definitely not le mot juste. The closest we've got to dissent was Boris Johnson's appearance here yesterday, and if you were watching you'll know he's not exactly what you'd call a faint heart when it comes to cheerleading for David Cameron.

A teenage girl strongly resembling Violet Elizabeth Bott did get her three minutes of preternaturally grown-up rhetoric this morning, reminiscent of the young William Hague after gender reassignment. For the rest, there has hardly been single word of dissent in the hall on any subject, even on issues which we know split the party from top to toe, like Europe. It is politics reduced to a choice of various flavours of chocolate. No, scrub that, it's all the same flavour of chocolate.

The thing finishes on Thursday, when the stage is torn down, because there's hardly any time to put up the set for the next convention here, which is an enormous display of beauty products, apparently. Too delicious to imagine what might happen if the two events overlapped.

The speech of the day was George Osborne on the economy. He walked on to the stage all furrowed brow and portentousness, desperate to live down the Boy George jibe. It didn't lighten up (although it did have one good joke: "What does it say about Gordon Brown that he got into a trial of strength with Alistair Darling. And lost.")

It was one of the cleverest political speeches many of us have seen, eschewing the usual facile promises, and full of doom and gloom about the mess we're in. The party has evidently decided that everyone appreciates the sickness in the public finances, and is willing to take the medicine necessary to begin a cure: pay freezes, public sector pension cuts and an end to various benefits. He also came up with a slogan which may just work: "We're all in this together", which he repeated time and again.

We can now see clearly what the Tories plan to do to try to bring about the first change of government since Blair swept to power 12 years ago, and on tonight's show we're going first to anatomise it, and then to ask whether it can work.

Our chief guest is the shadow home secretary Chris Grayling, whose meteoric rise to the top of the party testifies to the way he's regarded. Then we'll have a number of others, including Danny Finkelstein, often tipped to run the Downing Street Policy Unit if Cameron ever gets the tenancy.

Searing analysis from Crick and Grossman, it goes without saying, of course.

Oh, and Gavin gets to go to find out who's won the Man Booker Prize.

10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two. What would you rather be doing?

Here's what is coming up on tonight's programme:

"The convention is that I ask the questions, but never mind." - Jeremy Paxman to London Mayor Boris Johnson in a lively interview on Europe, and his relationship with David Cameron, which has just taken place at the Conservative party conference in Manchester, and which will be in tonight's programme.

Also tonight, Political editor Michael Crick has been on the trail of Ken Clarke, trying to get to the bottom of how divided the party really is over Europe.

And David Grossman is looking at the Conservative party's welfare proposals, asking just how different they are to Labour's, and how radical you can be when critics say your policies are a blueprint of those of the government you are hoping to replace.

Jeremy will also be speaking to shadow work and pensions secretary and women's minister Theresa May.

And US pollster Cornell Belcher will be applying the polling techniques he developed when working for the Democratic Party and Barack Obama ahead of last year's presidential election to assess how people view David Cameron and his party.

Join Jeremy at 10.30pm on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Two for all that and more.

Here is Gavin Esler with what is coming up on Newsnight and Newsnight Review:

Hello,

I'm presenting both Newsnight and Newsnight Review tonight, and so we will one way or another manage to encompass everything from the Olympics and Brazil to Barack Obama, to a bit of Henry VIII, the poet John Clare and the inheritance of modernism.

In tonight's programme - as of writing it is not clear which city will win the 2016 Olympics though, despite the campaigning on behalf of Chicago by Barack and Michelle Obama, the smart money appears to be on Rio.

After the Beijing Olympics and the South African World Cup, is Latin America finally coming of age as a world economic and cultural powerhouse?

Plus, Michelle Obama's speech on behalf of the city of Chicago comes after Sarah Brown's speech at the Labour party conference on behalf of her husband, the prime minister.

Which prompts the thought - do political wives, or partners, make a difference? Discuss.

And - when you think Newsnight, you think grime.

If you don't know what I am talking about then perhaps our item on Tinchy Stryder will open your eyes. And if you do, you'll love it anyway.

Plus in Review: I don't get out much these days. I have been reading the Man Booker Prize shortlist.

The Man Booker winner will be chosen next Tuesday, but tonight three book prize aficionados Rosie Boycott, John Carey and last year's Man Booker chair, Michael Portillo, will review an enticing list of titles - including the latest novels from former winners AS Byatt and JM Coetzee, and the hot favourite Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel.

Perhaps they will also explain to me why at least two of the books are so fat I almost developed a hernia trying to lift them.

Oh, yes, and they will also perhaps try to figure out why in the 2009 Man Booker prize none of the six finalists were sufficiently interested in the 21st Century to set any of their novels in our own times. One is set in the 16th Century, two in the 19th Century, and three set between the 1920s and the 1990s.

Yesterday? It's the new today.

Gavin

Here is Emily Maitlis with what is coming up on the programme:

WOMEN PAEDOPHILES

"The reality is women abuse, women abuse without men telling them to abuse, and I think we have to acknowledge it for the sake of the children who are being abused". So says Kidscape director Michelle Elliot.

Tonight we broach a subject that rarely comes under discussion - but has been thrust into the light by the convictions of female child abusers at a nursery in Plymouth.

We know that paedophiles don't always wear long overcoats and lurk in parks. We have been slow to recognise however, the women that choose sexual violence to satisfy their own needs. So this evening we will be asking how common place paedophilia is amongst women - even mothers - and whether it is motivated by the same thing that drives men to paedophilia.

AFGHANISTAN
I have just been talking to the Nato Secretary General Fogh Rasmussen, to ask him if he believes there will be, and should be, a change of strategy on Afghanistan. President Obama has been sitting on a report for the last two months calling for 40,000 more troops on the ground - what is holding up his decision?

Well one thing presumably, is the dire state of democracy in Afghanistan - elections that have been widely recognised as riddled with fraud.

So is the appetite for fighting there slipping away? Could we not achieve the same desired results - security here at home - with targeted counter-terrorism and unmanned drones?

Tonight we have special intelligence on new moves afoot in Pakistan.

IRELAND'S EU VOTE
Last time, the joke goes; the Irish got the answer wrong. They voted No to the Lisbon treaty. So they have been asked to go to the polls again.

The quip may not tell the whole story, but it embodies the spirit of one of the most extraordinary political campaigns in recent history.

There have been dirty tricks a plenty - on both sides - huge bribes of cash - on both sides - and characters that are larger than life - including a close friend of the hedge fund brigade and the colourful owner of Ryanair.

Liz McKean is in Dublin as the Irish prepare to vote once again - this time in the middle of a recession that threatens to choke off the very life blood of the country.

Plenty more this evening including Michael Crick and his chopped up cow.

It's enough to make you beg for Brit Art once again.

Emily