Password
I thought it was kind of funny, actually.
He didn't.
We were rushing in and out of the mall to pick something up. I didn't feel like shopping so we stopped at the food court. I love food courts. I got a cup of tea, a A&W veggie burger and an order of onion rings. They have tables for the disabled right at the edge of the food court - tables that border the mall. These tables are a bit higher, have removable chairs and have the blue badge guy painted on top to make it clear that this is where we are to gather.
At the table next to me is a young guy in his thirties. He's sitting in front of a cup of coffee and looks lost in thought. After a couple of bites of burger and a couple of slurps of tea, I strike up a conversation. After all, we're both crips, we're sitting side by each, why not chat. I make some noise about it being a hot day. Canadians love to talk about the weather, we don't do it as a 'filler in' conversation like those in other countries do, we take weather seriously. He looks at me, kinda cute, and states clearly. "I'm not disabled."
"The chair is a good disguise," I said and laughed.
He didn't find it funny.
"This is just temporary. I'm not like you."
He was annoying me. "How do you know it isn't temporary for me too?"
"Because you look too comfortable in that thing."
"So you'd be temporarily disabled, then?" He nodded, "and do you think the a##h### thing is permanent?"
"Look, I didn't ask to talk to you," he said, "I just don't want anyone to think that I'm ...."
"Crippled?"
Tears formed in his eyes and he nodded and looked away. I went back to my burger and decided to leave him alone. Not much of a nice guy anyways and who needs the aggrivation.
"Is it all that bad?" he asked me.
"Being in the chair?" I asked for clarification, I'm fat too ... dually diagnosed so I wanted to be sure.
He nodded.
"No, it's not bad. I still get around, still do what I want, it's not bad at all. Besides, it's like getting membership in a club you never wanted to be in and then finding out that they've got better beer and cooler people."
"It might not be temporary, they don't know yet."
"Oh." I wasn't quite sure what to say, but that's not often stopped me, "I hope it all works out for you."
Then I noticed someone coming towards us and he waved at her.
"Wait, before you go." I spoke with urgency.
He looked at me, curious.
"If it turns out that you are going to be in the chair longer than you thought ... the password is .... Criptonite."
He started to laugh. Like it was the first time he laughed at his possible future with a disability.
"It would almost be worth it," he said.
And was gone.
Comments
It's an awkward situation, granted - coming to terms must be difficult - but I wonder whether some newly-disabled people understand how insulting such sentiments are to those of us who were born with "impairments"? Do they think they're too good to be Disabled?
I would say "why NOT you?".
CLASSIC! I'll have to remember that password!
I understand that the stages of loss include denial (even a possible temporary loss still means you are where you are) in the way I think many spinal cord injury people go through a "I'm going to be the one who walks again" stage. I find it unusual he needed to explain it to you not the AB's.
You give a great example of handling with some humor since when offended I tend to play offensively obtuse like: "You're NOT in a wheelchair? Ohhhh..."
I also like the damning "you look too comfortable" - yes, curse you for not having a badly fitting chair.
And last night I finished reading Christopher Reeve's book "Still Me"... your reference to criptonite (sp?) just struck a cord.
Brilliant posting! Not everyone who ends up disabled can accept it - and many of us are lucky enough to have good, kind, caring, loving people around that are prepared to help and support when times get rough.
I don't like it - but who does?
Regards
'debvhu
The way I see it is,life is made better when we come to terms with the reality of our situation and more so with a touch of hummour.
Mmmmm, A&W onion rings. There's nothing like a Mozza Burger with onion rings and a root beer. *drools with head back*
I didn't know you were Canadian too, Dave!
This is a wonderful piece. I did this in reverse after neurosurgery with a shaved heard and a 10 inch scar and scarves on my head.
"Was it.."
"Nope"
"Do you have.."
"No"
"Are you going to be.."
"I don't know"