´óÏó´«Ã½

Ouchers, we need your help!

You may be aware that on Wednesday this week, a on the fourth plinth of London's Trafalgar Square. Thomas Schutte's Model for a Hotel 2007 weighs eight tons, is sixteen feet high, and is made from layers of coloured glass. Monkey would like to give you his critical appraisal, but frankly I know nothing about art (but I know what I like). Looks nice, though. If you like that sort of thing. Ahem. Yeah. And stuff.

More importantly for us slightly disablified types, this means that the previous occupant of the plinth, Marc Quinn's sculpture Alison Lapper Pregnant, which showed the disabled artist naked when she was eight months into her pregnancy, has disappeared after just over two years in pride of place on the plinth. It has gone. It is no more. It is an ex-sculpture.

So the question is: WHERE IS IT?

Now let's face it, this particular sculpture is difficult to miss. Standing over three and a half metres high and made out of one single block of white marble, it's what you might call "quite noticeable". Even Monkey's visually impaired friends and colleagues, though they might not be able to see it so clearly, would soon realise that they had happened across this magnificent work of art if they tripped over it in the middle of the local shopping mall.

And this is where you, Ouch's ever alert readers, come in. We need your detective skills. Have you seen Alison's statue? Has it turned up in your local high street, possibly at a bus stop waiting for an accessible low floor bus? Did you wake up this morning and find it at the bottom of your garden, hiding behind the herbaceous borders? Has it gone for a holiday abroad? Did you see the statue going through Terminal 3 at Heathrow, wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt?

Alison, where are you?!

Ahem. So if you've seen her - or rather her sculpture, because sightings of Ms Lapper herself don't count - tell us in the comments to this post. Together, Ouchers, you and I can solve the mystery that is currently puzzling the entire world of disability. Oh yes we can.