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Hey ... back again from touring. Sorry, it's been so long.

We had a really successful run. 6 cities down ... 6 more to go. It's been awesome -- though I have to ask Iowa in February and Miami in August? Who did we offend? Honestly, we're sorry... really..

The highlights included a trip to a paralympic training facility (bringing to 3, the number of Murderball stars I've met... name drop, schmooze). Nothing like being in a fully accessible space, a place where disability is so normal that it's the apparently AB types that cause you to look more than once! giggle. The lowlights included travel snafus and oh-so-bad food. I mean, who on earth orders pizza, pasta, and meatballs as pre-performance food for a vegetarian, vegan dance company? And in one instance, the whole thing was so screwed up that we had a whole plane basically to ourselves!!

Anyway. The thing that sticks most in my mind for today are the reviews and the comments people made about us (including to our faces). Why are we (and other disabled people) always seen happy-smiling-bringing-light-to-the-world -types? I know my colleagues at West Coast. And I'd say we were a bunch of miserable whiners. It's too cold in here, too hot in here. The hotel this... the food that ... the weather ... the car.... the stage floor, the theater, the lights, the mirrors,the food, omg the food ... We are definitely grouchy whingebags -- and if you spent any time with us, you'd know that. But all the outer world can see is our happy little cripple faces (and oh-so-inspiring-non-disabled faces). It's so nice that you can be here and do this. It's so wonderful. *You* are so wonderful. Gah. Snort.

It's not just us, though. The New York Times recently ran a piece on the guy in the tv show, Las Vegas. Sho' nuff... he's a light-bringing chap, too. I know it's the whole infantilism, self-reducing thing. But honestly, Ouch's Disability Bitch aside, why don't/can't the grouchy, bitchy, whiny, moany, scary, swearing, cussin' crips ever reach the light of day?

• Visit the decidedly sour-faced, potty-mouthed