We've just
moved the clock forward in the office. That's got to be a good sign.
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Just so long as you don't do it twice!
Moved forward by how many desks, Eddie? Is it now team captain?
I come back from Wales and find I'm now being linkd to the Today Programme. Is nothing sacred?
I may have to change my name.
BTW, having briefly noted your posting about the Day One Blog, do you seriously want me to own up?
Unless of course, the ´óÏó´«Ã½ time-keeping operative department had already sent someone around at the weekend & put the clock forward when the office was empty? So now you're an hour ahead?
Eddie,
About moving the clock forward. Did a ´óÏó´«Ã½ 'man' wearing a brown dust coat and a flat cap have to do it? Or are you allowed to do it yourself?
So if I'm right Annasee, we'll have to listen between 4 & 5 instead of 5 & 6, just in case. Or, scratches head, would that be 6 & 7 instead, I can never work these things out...
Just now put my watch right. Standing in bank and thought thats funny they dont open at 9.20 ;-o
We're all assuming that they've only moved it one hour. What if they've decided to celebrate the 50th anniverary of the EU by doing the programme on European time?
Until I read all of your coments I was under the impression that the clock had been "moved" as a potential interviewee. I wondered had this been seconded. Would we be hearing an interview with the PM Office Clock this evening? Clearly I am a bit stupid sometimes.
Doesn't it fall on the floor when you move the clock forward, Eric? Mine does. We tried moving ours sideways instead but that just leads to a line of holes in the wall.
Anyway, what is an hour in metres? And who dictates which way is forward? Just be grateful we don't live in E8 (the mathematical world, not the London postcode!)
Belated equinoxial greetings to one and all.
Eddie:
They forgot to adjust their clock in You and Yours. So, one up to the Mair team, eh?
Steve (9), How do you know we don't live in E8? Could I possibly live in E8 without realising it? Could this be why my life is a bit weird sometimes? I ask as one who got an A for O level maths but gave it up sharp after that!
Once again, an hour is taken from the middle of the night, and somebody in a comedy programme asks "and what will you do with the extra hour?"
WHAT extra hour? I got an hour less sleep, not more.
I want to know what They do with the 60 million or so hours They take from us every Spring. Sure, They give them back in the autumn, but where do They invest them during the months between, and at what rate of interest? I think we should be told!
(Always up for a good conspiracy theory, me.)
Does no-one use the studio at weekends then? Or weren't they bovvered?
Chris (12) Never mind the hours, I want to know when we can get back the 13 days that were stolen in thew 1800s!
FFred - Blimey, I didn't know you were that old!
Ffred - if it's all the same to you, please may I have my extra 13 days in the run up to my next birthday in June? Always a good month to have a bit more of :o)
RJD (15) I wear the years well, don't you think?!? :-P
ValP (16) Sounds like a good plan to me. Although I'd plump for later in the year myself, say around late August...
As long as we can have the extra days in the summer I don't mind when precisely they are. I do realise that nobody asked what I thought but there you go anyway...
Apparently that was maliciously fast.
This is an equal opportunity blog Appy, you don't have to be asked!
Talking of "good signs", my three all-time favourites, in reverse order:
3. (In a bar, next to some speakers one might not otherwse have noticed) "Do not touch these speakers".
2. (A road sign) "This sign is out of order".
1. (A city centre notice) "Do not read this sign".
What a bizarre world.
Mine was in the Ladies at minchinhampton Golf Club - over the hand basins
'Please do not wash balls in these basins'
Rejoice
PS I DO NOT PLAY GOFF
Well, you wouldn't, would you Aunt D? Not with dirty balls anyway...
I bet you would if you could find somewhere to wash your balls...
Appy, you sadly misjudge me if you think I wouldn't......
LADIES - PLEASE!
...although I might use tongs....
Sounds painful to me, Aunt D? Not that I'd.......
Aunt D, I'm afraid I don't understand. How can one control the direction of a pair of tongs with a golf club???
Ladies, the Club Secretary has asked me to remind you that the only guests permitted on the course are those with their own balls accompanied by a member.
RJD, you know the drill and you know the way. We should rename it the RJD corner...
:-)
tee hee hee hee
Ha ha ha ha ha! What a shower :o)
Can I take my Mashie Niblock with me?
Ceratinly not RJD! You will sit still and quietly contemplate your behaviour!
Or, as Si would say ((.)) - his navel?
Don't you mean Naval?
Gosh Ap (34) - I sort of like it when you're cross with me ;o)
Aunt D (36), Hahaha!
RJD (37), hmm, very clever -- I'm snookered now. (And those are the wrong sort of balls, even if they are very clean...)
I'm speechless - and that doesn't happen often ;-}
Blame it on the Niblock.
In that case, Appy (38), what you should do is grasp one end of the cue firmly in one hand, place your other hand near one of the balls and slid the cue back and forth along it. A smooth action will help the shot.
Hello RJD, I didn't expect to see you here!
H.
RJD! Humph! Sit still over there, do not look at each other, do not speak, do not snigger, do not even think about balls! :-)
Ap - I don't want to sit in the same corner as Humph - he's just rude!
By the way, if you are truly snookered, I could probably demonstrate a solution but it involves bouncing off a lot of cushions and I couldn't say with any certainty where the balls would finish.
Well Appy (41) if I am to play the part of Cinderella does that make you the Evil Step-mother or one of the Ugly Sisters? ;-P
H.
RJD (42)
I believe the pot said to the kettle:
"Although clearly your made out of metal
When viewed from back here
Your colour, it's clear,
Is black and on that you must settle!"
H.
No, Humph, I'm one of the dwarves...
RJD, do you want to in there over Easter?
Appy and others, 38 and elsewhere:
Just to clarify the postion, and quoting from the rules:
"the device used to mark the position of a ball being cleaned shall be regarded as and acquire the value of the ball until such time as the ball has been cleaned and replaced. If any player other than the striker should touch or disturb the device, he shall be penalised as if he were the striker, without affecting the order of play. The referee shall return the device or ball being cleaned to its position, if necessary, to his satisfaction, even if it was picked up."
I hope that's all a bit clearer now
Humph (44) - Honestly it's not me - It's Ap. She takes every innocent remark I make and deliberately misinterprets it. Just watch – I’ll prove it!
Ap (45) The dwarves weren’t in Cinderella. They were in Snow White.
tee hee!!
*wipes tear away*
thanks, peeps, I haven't laughed so much for ages..!
n-n
xx
It didn't say anything about washing devices in the basins.....perhaps they thought Ladies don't have devices, or if they have, that they only require a bit of buffing now and again.
Obviously the sign writer was male.
Buffed Devices - hmmm, sounds as intriguing as Miffed Balearics, eh RJD?
I'm just totally lost about these devices - buffed as per Aunt Dahlia or otherwise. As for Big Sister's devices for marking the position of cleaned / moved balls, I'm afraid it is way above my head. I'll just continue to rely on harvest Y-fronts.
Hey! I've never been anywhere near Snow White! The mere suggestion makes me feel a little Grumpy..
(Well, I would've hated to make a fibber of you RJD...)
:-)
Ap - And how does the little Grumpy react?
He feels Bashful and Happy, of course.
Oh Ap, you really are sharp!
I know RJD (47)! The point of my post (44) is that I am as innocent as you. We all suffer Appyrisms on this Frog. For example, if I was to thank Fifi for those delightful pictures of her black pussy yesterday, I would be in the naughty corner until Christmas. It is JUST NOT FAIR! :,-(
H.
I know just what you mean, Humph. Yesterday I'd been thinking of commenting on Stewart's lovely Venice photo. It put me in mind of Saturday's upcoming Boat Race, with all those hunky young men giving it all they've got, and the cox going 'in' and 'out'. Such energy, such vigour!
But I knew I'd be misunderstood.
Ah, but Humph, Big Sis, the fact that you knew you would be sent to the naughty corner belies your innocence. You are bad girls and boys and no mistake sbout it!
As for the chap who used the expression "harvest Y-fronts", I think he needs special help. I mean, that corn husk's gotta chafe, no?
Ap - No chafing at all and that's the point. Harvest Y-fronts - "All Is Safely Gathered In. "
No no no, that's winter draws on.... where were you brought up.
Don't answer that.
RJD, hahahaha. And then the vicar leads the congregation in celebration.
Aunt Dahlia - Not so much brought up as dragged up!
.... and perhaps should have been left there, RJD? ;o)
So where do these harvest y-fronts come into it?
Val P - You are clearly not paying attention!
cf "the harvest bra" for the amply proportioned female - "All Is Safely Gathered In. "
Do these harvest bras have blue straplines?
Well your stapline was certainly blue - you tell me!
On the contrary -- yesterday's straps were pale pink. Today I am still in my PJs!!! :-)
Pale pink I could cope with but I have this thing about cyan.
Cyanide?
Cyanose?
Cyanara?
Now why does that remind me of Ernest Dowson?
Aunt Dahlia
"Non Sum Qualis eram Bonae Sub Regno Cynarae"
'I am no more the man I was in the reign of the Good Cynara'
Gosh this blog is truly educational. Thank you
Ah - I see, all is now revealed, cyan. Also re harvesting. Yes ve-ery slow the last couple of days. Must be time for a tweak or a tune-up?
I also commented upon Aunt D's educational posting (thanks), but it seems mine hasn't appeared -- probably because I'd promised elsewhere that RJD could have the last word here. Ah.
I was actually thinking of 'I have been faithful to thee Cynara, in my fashion'
Three little words that conjure up such a huge range of possibilities. Should go alongside 'Up to a point, Lord Copper'.
Now lets get back to the double entendres please....I am working you know, and need a few laughs..
Word
I think you should all change your names to Jacob... well, it's clear you're all crackers.
Anyway, thanks for the many laughs contained herein, I've got a stitch now.
RJD, I realise this is probably not welcome from your point of view as you wanted the last Word.
And so you shall have it:
RJD's Word.
Oh no he won't.....
Aunt Dahlia - After much deliberation I have come to the conclusion that this harsh, gruff persona that you portray is totally false. I am convinced that when the veneer of malice and spite is peeled away, we will discover that you really are quite nasty.
Now leave this thread alone. Ap said I could have it.
Oh, alright.
(slouches off, snickering)
Strewth!
Oh, I forgot, other peanutty chocolate bars are available.
I believe the London Chocolate Bar was run only this very morning :o)
Oh Bog Off you lot! I checked this for a few days and thought it was safe. Have you nothing better to do than trawl all the way back here to annoy me?
As Muttley used to say when he was a bit narked at Dick Dastardly :"Rassanfrassenrasserfrass"
Nope
You mustn't be getting audited often enough, or you'd be too busy to look for us RJD?
So how does the trap work? An RJD trap for heffalumps?
Now you're just being silly, you two! I'm going off to find a thread that both of you don't know about and I'll have the last word there!
How satisfying would that be though? No-one will be there to read it??
Val P - Excatly! I'm the only one who knows where it is!
Gone then have they? Good!
That's what you think, RJD!
Strewth! -again.
Shhhhhhhh, don't let on ........
what?
mmmmm.. a litle flighty footwork going on here.... you just have to win don't you? Well I haven't forgiven you for that heartrending story you wrote and didn't attribute many Sundays ago. We camels have very long memories, and bear grudges and umbrage, let no axe go unburied is our motto.
(What is that in Latin, since you have it?) I rather fancy that on my coat of arms.
Let no axe go unburied
"Permissum haud securis vado inhumatus"
But surely if you hold onto grudges and umbrage you wouldn't want axes buried!
Let no axe be buried
"Permissum haud securis exsisto seputus"
Is this an RJD retrospective?
Ah - alone at last!
Are you sure you are alone?
Absolutely postive! Wait a minute - who said that?
I'm afraid it was me.
no - it was I.
I'm confused now. Are you me or I am me?
Oh Lord! Now there's two of me, one of him and a clone of one of the three of us. Whose turn is it?
Someone say something?
I'm sure I already said just that - didn't I?
Hm, So we have an AlterEgo, a Clone, and a RJD. "Very interesting - but stupid!"
I was in court the other day, when suddenly this chap burst in with a big long scarf wrapped around his head and neck. He went quietly but very deliberately and speedily around the courtroom squeezing the breasts of all the females present. He then left as quickly as he had come - and nobody said a word and not one of the courtroom attendants paid any heed to him.
I turned to the Resident Magistrate and said "Who on earth was that and why didn't someone stop him?"
He looked at me and said, "Oh don't worry about that. That's just the muffled titter that sometimes runs around the court"
RJD - Appy passed on your message, was trying to find an opportune moment to say thanks and this is probably it! xx
witchiwoman - I thnk Marc may already have twigged that it was mac by the time I got through to him. I think mac is just a bit of a pain. Obviously very intelligent, but I think lacking in common sense and can be abusive rather than funny. I just don't talk to him.
A lot of months ago, somebody pretended to be Appy and I know that it can be upsetting.