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The Oscars can get a bit of a slating. Honouring obscure films which often aren't even out over here yet does get people wondering whether the Academy Awards (to be posh about it) really do deserve the massive credit they get. I mean, we've all heard of Sean Penn but how many people actually saw Milk? Or other nominees from last year, such as The Visitor, Doubt and Frozen River? They're all powerful films but they were equally as powerful when they were nominated for the San Diego Film Critics Awards and no-one took any notice of that. Sorry San Diego.

The Oscars also lose me a night's kip every year. Grrrr...

But here's how to love 'em. Don't think of the world's most famous awards ceremony as REALLY having anything to do with what are actually the best films around. With no nods for Sharlto Copley as Best Actor in District 9 or Best Original Screenplay to (500) Days Of Summer this year, how could they be? See them as a desperate, albeit fun, spectacle though and your night's suddenly a lot more interesting than agonizing over why you snored during The Hurt Locker when everyone else seemed to love it.

Wallow in the shamelessness. The campaigns that the films run to try and get Oscar voters to put a cross by their name on the ballot are legendary. Open up any trade mag in the early months of the year and 'For Your Consideration' ads pepper the pages, virtually begging Academy members to vote for, say, Clive Owen as Best Actor in The Boys Are Back. No-one did.

The speeches are also a great insight into stars' real personalities. In movies, they're scripted and directed to within an inch of their lives. On that podium, emotional and overwhelmed, you see the real people - and they've frequently got nowt to say. Who can forget ice-queen Gwyneth Paltrow spectacularly melting back in the day, revealing herself to be an unlikely wimp?

Mostly though, The Oscars are about the glamour and the publicity. It's an odd mix, seeing J-Lo blinged up to the eyeballs on the red carpet on a night when Blood Diamond is nominated but that's part of the charm. This is an occasion when every hungry star wants to be seen on the red carpet looking hot. Play a game of 'guess why that celeb has turned up' and invariably the answer is 'because their movie's out next week'. Watching The Oscars reveals what Hollywood is really all about. Money.

I'll see you at 3am.