Life’s a Snore
- 7 Jul 07, 09:32 AM
Hands up all of you who snore. I must confess that I too have my hand in the air. Yes, I’m Kim and I’m a snorer. Indeed, according to my other half I snore like a ten ton truck with a dodgy exhaust. Trust a man to put it so tactfully and delicately. Particularly when he too could raise the roof with his noisy nocturnal snorting – but I’m not bitter. Actually it doesn’t really bother me because, to be honest, the Grimethorpe Colliery brass band could be playing in the room and I would sleep through it, euphoniums and all. But it does bother my delicate little flower – ha - and it has caused more than its fair share of grumpy morning moaning. I wish I could say that he’s exaggerating, but I know there are times when I’ve been snoring so loud I’ve actually wakened myself up – I can’t believe I just admitted that in public. And you know it’s always at its worse when you’ve eaten late, had a few drinks and you’ve rolled onto your back – which is pretty much all the time I’m in Paris, where, I fully admit, I am Snorzilla. What I hate most of all, and why I think I’m so touchy about the subject, is that it seems so unlady like - surprising when you consider that 1 in 10 women are big time snore hounds. But ultimately it’s still the kind of thing you associate with big, hairy rugby players rather than the refined fairer sex. Yes, when it comes to sleepy time I’m definitely more Brian O’Driscoll than Nicole Kidman.
Why I mention all this stuff about snoring now is that I read one of those surveys during the week giving all the usual facts and figures but with one notable addition…our snoring pets. Indeed 32% of the people surveyed said it was a huge annoyance – certainly gives a whole new meaning to the words ‘cat nap’. Although in my case I’m quite comforted by the fact that Ella, my canine counterpart in the snooze stakes, and I can snore contentedly together with no sniping comments from certain – people who snore in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones – quarters.
Actually I have now come up with a solution for that particular problem - I got him ear plugs, told him to dry his lamps and he is NEVER allowed to utter the ‘s’ word to me again. I’m off to Paris shortly so let’s see how long the snore truce lasts!
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yes-! snorers unite! I do snore from time to time especially after a few drinks ....red wine especially .. my better half never has complained all these years .. guess I must be a sporadic snorer!Still it could be worse we could both snore in unison and keep each other awake !
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