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Tom Fordyce

Quelque chose pour le weekend? (92)

The outskirts of Paris, Friday - Just one day to go now until .

Gulp.

Right now, Ben and I are incapable of doing almost anything except run round in ever-decreasing circles, squeaking in schoolgirl fashion before collapsing to the ground like a pair of over-dramatic old luvvies.

It’s enough to make our already-outraged fathers vomit in disgust.

Watch Tom and Ben's sixth postcard from France.

In one of our all-too-brief periods of lucidity, however, we’ve painstakingly put together a series of useful French phrases for those of you piling out to Paris in the next few hours.

How to thank us? Well, we’ll be up in the rugby village outside the Stade de France before the match – and a man can get mighty thirsty at that time of day…

Me serait-il possible de passer la nuit par terre?
Could I possibly sleep on your floor?

C’est pas moi! C’est le mec là-bas
It wasn’t me – it was that man over there

Euh - pourquoi je peux voir deux Tours Eiffel?
Why can I see two Eiffel Towers?

Oh mon dieu - je crois que j’ai déjà atteint le 7ème ciel
Oh dear - I think I’ve peaked too soon

Je vous jure, c’est mon pote à l’intérieur qui a mon billet!
My friend with my ticket is meeting me inside

Laissez-moi passer, je suis remplaçant!
You have to let me in, I’m a player - I'm on the bench!

Laporte! Tête de cacahuète!
Bernard Laporte has a head like a peanut

On n’a pas pas besoin de talent quand on a huit attaquants gigantesques et notre Jonny à nous?
Who needs flair when you’ve got eight massive forwards and a kicker like Jonny?

Sebastien Chabal? On dirait qu’il sent le poney
Sebastien Chabal looks like he smells like a wet horse

Vendu! Le match est vendu!
Fix! It’s a fix!

Bof! Au moins on est allé plus loin que les All Blacks
Oh well - at least we got further than the All Blacks

Je suis vraiment désolé mon lieutenant, je me suis laissé emporter par l’excitation
I’m sorry officer - I got a fraction carried away

Vous ne sauriez pas le nom de mon hotel par hasard?
You don’t know what my hotel is called, do you?

J’en ai pas l’air comme ça, mais je suis Argentinien par mon père
I may not look it but I’m actually half Argentinean

Au terminal Eurostar!
Could you take me straight to the Eurostar terminal, please?


Any suggestions of your own?

Tom Fordyce is a ´óÏó´«Ã½ Sport journalist travelling around France in a camper van with Ben Dirs.


Comments  Post your comment

  • 1.
  • At 09:02 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • robfrith wrote:

One for Ben:

"Je suis desole mes mecs, il semble que je me suis pisse autre fois!"

Sorry guys, it seems like I've wet myself again!

  • 2.
  • At 09:27 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Moyboy wrote:

L'Angleterre et les bleus vont se rencontrer au Stade de France samedi; l'Argentine et l'Afrique du Sud vont se rencontrer au Stade de France dimanche; La Nouvelle Zélande et l'Australie vont se rencontrer
à l'aéroport de Charles de Gaulle lundi.

England and France meet at the Stade de France on Saturday; Argentina and South Africa meet at the Stade de France on Sunday; New Zealand and Australia will meet at Charles de Gaulle airport on Monday.

Je voudrais trois peches s'il vous plait

I'd like three peaches please

Le sange est dans l'arbre

The monkey is in the tree

And, one for the ladies,

J'ai le tour eiffel dans ma pantalon!

I've got the eiffel tower in my trousers!

Ben and Tom your blogs have kept a welshman, upset at our team's performance, very amused with these blogs. I hope that this weekend turns out to be as good as last weekend, but as good as Jonny is, i think Les Bleus will sneak it tomorrow and SA will go through Sunday. I'm also prepared for my licence fee to go on you staying for that last weekend, Allez Les Bleus, Allez Les Bleus!

  • 4.
  • At 10:05 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Nickie wrote:

I'm liking the one about 'Who needs flair...', with any luck we'll all be able to say that on Sat night.

Of course lets just hope that Jonny has sorted out his problems with his balls by then...

Wait that sounds wrong...

As a side point - loving the blog boys!

  • 5.
  • At 10:08 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Une francaise en Angleterre wrote:

À ce qu’il paraît,les ballons de Jonny Wilkinson sont trop gonflés.
(Apparently, Jonny Wilkinson's balls are over inflated)

Je suis désolé(e) mais je viens de vomir sur vos tongs.
(I am so sorry, I have just thrown up over your flip flops)

C’est très séduisante, votre banane.
(Your bum bag is very attractive)

  • 6.
  • At 10:22 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Eddie Kelly wrote:

This blog is fast becoming an obsession of mine!. What will I do with my morning ritual when it stops? - oh I know improve my output at work!!!

  • 7.
  • At 10:26 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Joe RYAN wrote:

Un verre d'eau et deux comprimés d'aspirine s'il vous plaît. (A glass of water and two aspirin, please).

Non, c'est pas une gueule de bois. Je suis toujours comme ça le matin. (No, it's not a hangover. I'm always like this in the morning).

Un bidet !! C'est pour ça qu'il n'y avait pas de chasse d'eau. (A bidet ! So that explains why there wasn't a toilet flush).

Et vous croyez que moi, je suis moche. Il faudrait voir notre pilier gauche. (And you think I'm ugly. You should see our loosehead prop).

  • 8.
  • At 10:30 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • David Ginsberg wrote:

Chaps you have omitted the most important bits of french, how to order a beer.

Patron, un demi/un pression s'il vous plait : Landlord, a half pint please (actually a 1/4 litre)

Patron, un baron/un serieux s'il vous plait: Landlord a pint please (actually half a litre)

Patron un formidable s'il vous plait: Landlord can you serve me a litre of beer which will finish me off

It also worth noting that if you ask for a glass of red wine it will usually be chilled which is actually very nice.

For those driving or recovering a "Panache" is the fantastic term for a shandy.

I hope that these are of use, enjoy.

  • 9.
  • At 10:31 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Coxy wrote:

Morning guys,

I trust the Bois do Boulogne campsite was up to scratch...

Just whiling away the day before we set off tomorrow morning...

Surely you're not going to be in the village all day long?! What sort of time will you head up there? Presumably you'll be going from G-d-N... will you be entertaining a tincture prior to heading out for the village... I know that there is a small bar pretty much opposite the main entrance to G-d-N...

Anyway, thanks again for all the blogs... if I find you guys tomorrow, I'll make sure that I get you a swift half (or more)...

Cheers

Paul C

  • 10.
  • At 10:46 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • the french man wrote:

bonjour a toute l' angleterre, sachez que la langue française est un art et que vous avez completement prouvé par votre niveau de langue que vous n' ètes pas capable d'alignés 2 phrase sans faire 3 fautes. ALLER LES BLEUS ALLER LA FRANCE! Et tirez les premiers messieurs les anglais!

hello to every body in england, i want you to know that the french language is an art and you just totaly show me that you can't write 2 sentences whithout 3 wrongstates. Go france!!! go the blue ones!!!
and shoot the first misters the english!

  • 11.
  • At 10:57 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Up and Undre wrote:

Not really in the spirit of things but a pretty useful phrase..

Parle vous anglais?

Do you speak english?

But don't expect any frenchman who knows English to actually speak to you in English though...

  • 12.
  • At 11:23 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Luigi wrote:

From Sunny South Africa, thanx for keeping us informed on your travels. Very humerous and interesting.
Wish we were there. Unfortunately I cant see Poms coming thru, Boks and Frogs for the Final.

Good Luck!

  • 13.
  • At 11:24 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Glyn from the Alps wrote:

Oh dear ! The Frenchman #10 will both have to polish up his English and his written French, before criticizing !
What a jerk ! Quel imbécile !
Allez les Bleus ! Come on England ! May the best team win !

  • 14.
  • At 11:24 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Chris wrote:

Excellent tips, I'll remember them! Up at 3am tomorrow to drag ourselves to Paris, the plan sort of ends there though, sure we'll sort something out.

Let's hope we have to do it again!

  • 15.
  • At 11:32 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Paulina wrote:

Also very important words:

'ALLEZ LES BLANCS!'

and

'Ce sera une finale Angleterre-Argentine'.

'It will be England-Argentina in the final'.

  • 16.
  • At 11:43 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • le cochon volant wrote:

C'est un flic blond, patron.....

It's a fair cop, guvnor....

  • 17.
  • At 11:47 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Stephen Nye wrote:

"encore un essai pour angleterre, les bleus regardent commes perroquets souffrants"

another try for england - the french lookk sick as parrots

(with apologies to my GCSE french teacher from many years ago)

  • 18.
  • At 11:48 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • jonnygolightly wrote:

Mein kleiderschrank ist von blitz getroffen worden.

(My wardrobe has been struck by lightning).

Many years ago I mastered this incredibly useful phrase in 9 or 10 languages (including Yiddish). Sadly, now I can only remember the German version. Nevertheless, hope this helps.

  • 19.
  • At 11:48 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Carole Maidenhead wrote:

Re Blogs 5 and 10 - I can see that my good friend Une Francaise en Angleterre is much better at English than "the french man". "shoot the first misters the english" - qu'est-ce que c'est que ca? Eh? And mon amie, La Francaise, what excellent phrases you have chosen. I will use them in the pub in Maidenhead tomorrow whilst wearing my Ben Dirs tribute banane and Tommy Fordyce vest. Er, well, maybe not the vest.

  • 20.
  • At 11:48 AM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Une francaise en Angleterre wrote:

the french man no.10

Oh là là.

Critiquer les autres, c’est s’exposer à la critique.

(People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones)

  • 21.
  • At 12:06 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Coxy wrote:

Hpw's the weather faring over there guys?

We need to travel as lightly as possible (less chance of losing stuff).. so don't want to be weighed down with too many layers...

A demain

  • 22.
  • At 12:12 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • duk wrote:

To quote Napolean Bonaparte "You become strong by defying defeat and by turning loss into gain and failure to success." He could only have been talking about England....

  • 23.
  • At 12:22 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Perdue wrote:

Re comment 11

The normal reply to
"Parlez-vous anglais?"
is
"Non, but I expect you do!"

  • 24.
  • At 12:25 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Chris A wrote:

Le poisson de Babel indique que l'homme français amuse très
(Babel Fish says that the french man is very amusing)

...and a topical one...
Le non, ceci est le sac de la boule de Jonny, je le berce jusqu'à ce qu'il doive le saisir.
(No, this is Jonny's ball bag, I am holding it until he needs to grab it.)

  • 25.
  • At 12:27 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Chipper wrote:

Parce qu'on a gagné, pouvez-vous nous retourner Calais? (Because we won, please could you give us Calais back?)

  • 26.
  • At 12:28 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Rod wrote:

Shockingly a wedding meant that I missed all the games last saturday! After failing my country so badly I took a long hard look at myself and decided atonement could only be found through a pilgrimmage to Paris tomorrow.

I can't afford the match tickets, so shall be hitting a big screen - but which will be best the best?!?

And will I be the only English fool to watch amongst a sea of the french?!

PS: Top blog boys!

  • 27.
  • At 12:36 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Irish Mike wrote:

Can't believe you lads made it this far. Fair play, but I hope France beat you off the pitch. They are a better team. As for Ireland.... well lets just say the only decent movement I saw on match days was the euros from my wallet.

  • 28.
  • At 12:45 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Glyn from the Alps wrote:

Oh dear ! The Frenchman at #10 should definitely brush up both his English and his written French before he starts criticizing...
Allez lz Bleus ! Come on England ! Que les meilleurs gagnent !!!
May the best team win !!
And win the final of course .

  • 29.
  • At 12:47 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Warren Collin wrote:

Go bokka!!!!!!

  • 30.
  • At 12:51 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Joe RYAN wrote:

Mais oui, aucun problème pour organiser une soirée avec mon frère, Jonny. Mais comme il est très sollicité il préfère que j'essaie d'abord. (Of course, no problem, I can set-up an evening out with my brother, Jonny. However, he does get plenty of offers so he prefers that I try first).

  • 31.
  • At 01:06 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Dave H wrote:

Getting a bit more off the beaten track here language-wise, but if the drinking does get a bit heavy, a phrase that always sticks in my mind (thanks George) is:

"strch prst skrs krk"

...which is Czech for "tactical chunder" (sort of!)

I just wanted to share that - I just like knowing a phrase that has no vowels in it!

Great blog lads - almost makes work bearable!

  • 32.
  • At 01:11 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • wrote:

"Il n'y a pas que les essais au rugby, il y a les drops aussi"
("There are not only tries in rugby, there are drops too")

"Oh là là là là, quel caramel de Betsen/Loussay!!"
("Blimey, what a huge hit by Betsen/Lewsey")

"Le cochon est dans le maïs"
("The pig is in the cornfield", when a team builds a healthy lead)

"Whou! whou! whou! whou! whou!"
("Houw houw houw houw houw", when Chabal comes on)

"Laissez-le tranquille!!"
("Leave our little Jonny alone!")

"Madame, c'est toute l'Angleterre qui se dresse pour vous féliciter"
("Madam, the whole of England is up to congratulate you")

"Une tournée pour les Rosbifs patron, et c'est toi qui arrose!"
("A round for the Brits landlord, and it's on you!")

  • 33.
  • At 01:36 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Fab from Paris wrote:

Something could be usefull for you, guys:
"J'ai mal a cul!", "I've got a pain in my arse"
ALLEZ LES BLEUS

  • 34.
  • At 01:40 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Fab wrote:

Just few words from an hugly french guy to clarified what #10 probably would say:

These words are attributed to the Comte d'Anterroche during the battle of Fontenoy, during the reign of french king Louis XV.
The battle opposed French-Irish troops, to the English, Hannover, Dutch and Austrian troops.
During the advance of English infantry, the English officers saluted their French peers and captain Charles Hay shouted : "Messieurs des Gardes françaises, veuillez tirez!" ("gentlemen of the French guard, shoot !"). The comte d'Anterroche answered : "Messieurs, nous ne tirerons jamais les premiers, veuillez tirez vous-mêmes !" ("Gentlemen, we never shoot first, do shoot !").
After losing the battle in the first time, the French troops won it, losing 7000 men, while the English lost 15000. In french folk, Anterroche said "Messieurs les Anglais, tirez les premiers" and then was immediatly killed by a bullet!

Nice story, isn't it??

  • 35.
  • At 01:42 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Stu Watson wrote:

Mes excuses Sebastian, étaient que votre tête ?

My apologies Sebastion, was that your head?
(Simon Shaw might be needing this as he steams into the rucks!!)

  • 36.
  • At 01:46 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Fab from Paris wrote:

Just few words from an hugly french guy to clarified what #10 probably would say:

These words are attributed to the Comte d'Anterroche during the battle of Fontenoy, during the reign of french king Louis XV.
The battle opposed French-Irish troops, to the English, Hannover, Dutch and Austrian troops.
During the advance of English infantry, the English officers saluted their French peers and captain Charles Hay shouted : "Messieurs des Gardes françaises, veuillez tirez!" ("gentlemen of the French guard, shoot !"). The comte d'Anterroche answered : "Messieurs, nous ne tirerons jamais les premiers, veuillez tirez vous-mêmes !" ("Gentlemen, we never shoot first, do shoot !").
After losing the battle in the first time, the French troops won it, losing 7000 men, while the English lost 15000. In french folk, Anterroche said "Messieurs les Anglais, tirez les premiers" and was immediatly killed by a bullet!

Nice story, isn't it??

Something could be usefull for you, guys:
"J'ai mal a cul!", "I've got a pain in my arse"
ALLEZ LES BLEUS

  • 37.
  • At 01:50 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Officer Crabtree wrote:

I shall meez yoou at half pass sex

I was p1ssing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking guon; you are clearly the guilty potty.

God Moaning. The resist-once have accqo-aired a bum. They are going to ex-plod the whaleway brodge

  • 38.
  • At 01:52 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Stu Watson wrote:

Mes excuses Sebastian, étaient que votre tête ?

My apologies Sebastion, was that your head?
(Simon Shaw might be needing this as he steams into the rucks!!)

  • 39.
  • At 02:01 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Chipper wrote:

Parce qu'on a gagné, pouvez-vous nous retourner Calais? (Because we won, please could you give us Calais back?)

  • 40.
  • At 02:08 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Officer Crabtree wrote:

I shall meez yoou at half pass sex

I was p1ssing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking guon; you are clearly the guilty potty.

God Moaning. The resist-once have accqo-aired a bum. They are going to ex-plod the whaleway brodge

  • 41.
  • At 02:20 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Chris Rowbottom wrote:

Hi Ben and Tom....

I've followed your blog from the start and you have had me "Rire mes pantalon de".

"Menton de menton"

Very excited about tomorrows game. "balancer le niveau bas" and all that.

  • 42.
  • At 02:29 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Patdartagnan wrote:

Unfortunatly, I will be working this week-end, otherwise I and a friend could take the bowls, and make a game of petanque with Ben and Tom.
Malheureusement, je travaile ce week-end, sinon moi et un ami aurions pu prendre des boules et faire une partie de pétanque avec Ben et Tom.
a french tradition is (and it's true) as a team lost by 13-0, the losers have to kiss the bottom of their adversary, but never happens by luck a weak team always tick a little point. But it's funny to look at their faces as the score is 11-0 or 12-0

  • 43.
  • At 02:32 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Thierry wrote:

May I add this one :

Savez vous comment on marque un essai?

Do you know how to score a try?

Might be useful for English players, don't you think?


Just warming up guys...

  • 44.
  • At 02:33 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • jonnygolightly wrote:

"Chabal est un grand chemisier de la fille. Ma belle-mère est robuste que lui; même sa barbe est plus impressionnante."

(Chabal is a big girl's blouse. My mother-in-law is stronger than him; even her beard is more impressive.)

  • 45.
  • At 02:34 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Chris Rowbottom wrote:

Hi Ben and Tom....

I've followed your blog from the start and you have had me "Rire mes pantalon de".

"Menton de menton"

Very excited about tomorrows game. "balancer le niveau bas" and all that.

  • 46.
  • At 02:35 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • BlueMichou wrote:

"Il n'y a pas que les essais au rugby, il y a les drops aussi"
("There are not only tries in rugby, there are drops too")

"Oh là là là là, quel caramel de Betsen/Loussay!!"
("Blimey, what a huge hit by Betsen/Lewsey")

"Le cochon est dans le maïs"
("The pig is in the cornfield", when a team builds a healthy lead)

"Whou! whou! whou! whou! whou!"
("Houw houw houw houw houw", when Chabal comes on)

"Laissez-le tranquille!!"
("Leave our little Jonny alone!")

"Madame, c'est toute l'Angleterre qui se dresse pour vous féliciter"
("Madam, the whole of England is up to congratulate you")

"Une tournée pour les Rosbifs patron, et c'est toi qui arrose!"
("A round for the Brits landlord, and it's on you!")

  • 47.
  • At 02:37 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Marjorie wrote:

Maybe "voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?" (to a beautiful french girl) could be useful if you are sad (or excited) after the match...;-)
See U tomorow and enjoy!

  • 48.
  • At 02:54 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Marjorie wrote:

Maybe "voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?" (to a beautiful french girl) could be useful if you are sad (or excited) after the match...;-)
See U tomorow and enjoy!

  • 49.
  • At 02:54 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • les autuers - Camille et Gemma wrote:

Mon dieu!
'....we’ve painstakingly put together a series of useful French phrases.....'
How long exactly did it take you? One click to send an email to your darling sister who just happens to be a French teacher and her clever (and French)colleague Camille?
One click is painstaking?
Then how hard must you find it to have your ginger hairs removed, with a girl's wax product,from your broad shoulders?
Don't mess with your little sister and her French scrum half or all your secrets will be revealed.
Tommy repeat after me 'merci!'
Goujat!

  • 50.
  • At 03:14 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Gary wrote:

first dicovered Ben's Cricket commentary ... and now these blogs... uncontrollable laughter at times... but always a smile on my face... great fun..!!!

  • 51.
  • At 03:24 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Mr Lingo wrote:

Never leave home without these;

Je suis desole, j'ai fait du merde dans mes pantalons!

Je voudrais quatre liters "super" pour ma aeroglisseur.

Ou est la crocodillamon?

  • 52.
  • At 03:28 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • peyo wrote:

For these one among you, english supporters, who will sat behind the french bench during the match :
"dégage de là, abruti, je ne vois rien"
Please, Mr Chabal, could you moove a little bit, I can't see the match

  • 53.
  • At 03:29 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Officer Crabtree wrote:


four moo yews boys, four moo yews ....

(Quatre années supplémentaires garçons, quatre années supplémentaires ...)

  • 54.
  • At 03:31 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Michelle wrote:

I was just pissing your coffee when I thought I would droop in for a drunk.

  • 55.
  • At 03:40 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • peyo wrote:

for this one who will have a seat behind the french bench tomorrow :
Please, Mr Chabal, could you move a little bit, I can't see the match.. thank you very much !!!
"Tu vas te bouger un peu, abruti !!"

  • 56.
  • At 03:43 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Michelle wrote:

Policeman:Good mooning,I was pissing you coffee when I thought I would droop in for a drunk!
Renée: I always wondered why you didn't go home to England...
Policeman: The prunt police mans wages were god, the wither here is wonderful and once I became a flient french spoker there didn't seem any pint!

  • 57.
  • At 03:46 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • fatfrankie wrote:

Rappel Agincourt. Le jeu commence. Suivez votre courage et sur ce tcharje exhaltez 'Dieu, Harry, Angleterre et St. George'!
Remember Agincourt. The game's afoot. Follow your spirit, and, upon this charge cry 'God, Harry and St George'!

  • 58.
  • At 03:49 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • ententecordiale wrote:

Nous aurions perdu, mais au moins on ne peut pas nous accuser d'étre des bouteilleurs/étouffeurs.
Alors, comme est-ce que on arrive a la Gare du Nord?(sic)

We may have lost, but at least we can't be accused of being bottlers/chokers.
Now, how do I get to the Gare du Nord?

  • 59.
  • At 04:01 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Nick Evans wrote:

We are a group of England fans coming from Barcelona to Paris and we are wondering where is the best place for ticketless fans to watch the match?

  • 60.
  • At 04:03 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Eddie wrote:

Come boys your not going to fool anyone with that french, you'll look like some poor English Jonnys just of the boat.

You need a bit of Largot or Verlan to show you indulged in some real french life not just picked up some phrases from a sports website!

Oui mais Nike-les est beaucoup meiller que chirjacques! Sarkozy - is much better than jaques chairac

Mais putain c'est la belle doche - Damn it's the mother in law!

Ca c'est un veritable paquet des moules/flot de nana, quoi - that is a group of seriously hot ladies!

Mais il y a les Tupe par tout ici - there are ladies of the night everywhere here!

Je peu tu saute? Can I jump you (you may well get slapped for that one unless you are in the above situation!)

Chaque'un a son gout - everyones got thier own taste, and yours is rubbish!

And my favourite:
Il faut que il y a combien des militaires pour fait la defence de Paris? Aucune idee ca a jamais etais essaye - How many soldiers does it take to defend paris? - no idea no ones ever tried!

  • 61.
  • At 04:10 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Ifan wrote:

BUSTED!

  • 62.
  • At 04:11 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Anonymous wrote:

number 31, Dave GH "put a stick through the neck".. but you knew that anyway! I think it could catch on,especially to the tune of 'Jerusalem', maybe? Nice to see a real lack of vowels, though.

  • 63.
  • At 04:14 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • sam wrote:

Tu es canon!

- means "You're hot stuff" - works every time with the sophisticated ladies of Paris!

  • 64.
  • At 04:20 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • jonnygolightly wrote:

"Chabal est un grand chemisier de la fille. Ma belle-mère est robuste que lui; même sa barbe est plus impressionnante."

(Chabal is a big girl's blouse. My mother-in-law is stronger than him; even her beard is more impressive.)

  • 65.
  • At 04:21 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • sam wrote:

Tu es canon!

- means "You're hot stuff" - works every time time with the sophisticated ladies of Paris!

  • 66.
  • At 04:22 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Matthew Hind wrote:

Just seen your video blog. It reminded me of the time I found a friend's book on the Archers (the radio programme that is) and saw what the cast looked like. Now if Ben was a member of the cast, I see him as an Ed Grundy, man of soil and liker of strong drink and young barmaids. Tom, with that blond hair and razzle-dazzle smile, a shoe-in for Ian the chef from Grey Gables.

Have you seriously got tickets for tomorrow? My license fee; my hat.

  • 67.
  • At 04:26 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Neil Robertson wrote:

"Voici dix assiettes rouge"

"Here are ten red plates"

Was the first French I ever learned courtesy of Longman's Audio Visual French. Has never been any use to me but I put it out there in the hope that one day it can be of use to someone.

And if you see Jean Paul Listening to the radio...

"Jean Paul ecoute le radio"

  • 68.
  • At 04:28 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • ecordiale wrote:

Nous aurons perdu, mais au moins on ne peut pas nous accuser d'étre des bouteilleurs/étouffeurs.
Bon chance dans la finale ... alors, comme est-ce qu'on arrive a la Gare du Nord?(sic)

We may have lost, but at least we can't be accused of being bottlers/chokers.
Good luck in the final ... now, how do I get to the Gare du Nord?

  • 69.
  • At 04:30 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Neil Robertson wrote:

"Voici dix assiettes rouge"

"Here are ten red plates"

Was the first French I ever learned courtesy of Longman's Audio Visual French. Has never been any use to me but I put it out there in the hope that one day it can be of use to someone.

And if you see Jean Paul Listening to the radio...

"Jean Paul ecoute le radio"

  • 70.
  • At 04:30 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Carole Maidenhead wrote:

BONKERS. All of us. Completely, completement, bonkers. Brilliant, isn't it!? Re the postcard just filmed by our heroes on the streets of Paris, we need to know if Dirsy has pulled one of those Swedish girls? And did Tommy get the other one? We ought to be told.

  • 71.
  • At 04:33 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Peter in Preston wrote:

Again from 30 years ago but I think this will apply to M. Laporte when les blancs stuff les blues.

"La maird a frappe la venticule!"

"The sh%t has hit the fan!"

That's a fan powered by electricity and not any unsuspecting individual in the crowd.

  • 72.
  • At 04:34 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Mutt wrote:

After
"Je voudrais une bière glacée svp"

The next most important french phrase is probably
"Où sont les belles femmes"

  • 73.
  • At 04:44 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Skeyboy wrote:

votre mère est un hamster et vos odeurs de père des baies de sureau

  • 74.
  • At 04:44 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Skeyboy wrote:

votre mère est un hamster et vos odeurs de père des baies de sureau

  • 75.
  • At 04:45 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Rooster wrote:

La Marseillaise en Anglais

A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
for to have a jolly good sh*t, sh*t, sh*t;

He pulled his pants and trousers down, so that he could revel in it, it, it;

Oh, but when he went for the paper,
he found that someone had been there before

Ou est le papier,
Ou est le papier;

Monsieur, monsieur, j'ai fait 'manure';
Ou est le papier!


Print out and sing at the top of your voice when the French National Anthem is played - Good luck!

  • 76.
  • At 04:45 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Ivor Longhorn wrote:

Les fluers sont belles =

The flowers are lovely.

  • 77.
  • At 05:02 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Ben Dirs wrote:

Hello one and all! Thanks for all of your comments today - this blog gone double mental since last weekend. As for our plans tomorrow, following a raft of warnings over the Bois de Boulogne campsite, mostly along the lines of 'you might see things you don't really want to see', we've sacked it off, left Le Bloggernaut in the burbs and have opted to kip on a mate's floor instead. We are bombing it into Paris on a train as I type. As for our pre-match plans, we reckon we're off to the rugby village near the ground before the game and, once we've fulfilled our work duties, we'll head back into town and follow the sound of madness. Those two Swedish sorts on the video will be there...probably with their tongues down the throats of a couple of very naughty French rugby players...

  • 78.
  • At 05:19 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Ben wrote:

Monsieur Chabal est lié au buffle de l'eau

Mr Chabal is related to the water buffalo

  • 79.
  • At 05:30 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Another wasted afternoon wrote:

The other points of view, you can sign in and comment if you wish!

forums.rugbyrama.fr

Look for France- Angleterre
Might while away that last hour

  • 80.
  • At 05:33 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Garry R wrote:

Ok - c'est un gendarme blond!

It's a fair cop

  • 81.
  • At 05:38 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • les auteurs - Camille et Gemma wrote:

Mon dieu!
'....we’ve painstakingly put together a series of useful French phrases.....'
How long exactly did it take you? One click to send an email to your darling sister who just happens to be a French teacher and her clever (and French) colleague Camille?
One click is painstaking?
Then how hard must you find it to have your ginger hairs removed, with a girl's wax product, from your broad shoulders?
Don't mess with your little sister and her French scrum half or all your secrets will be revealed.
Tommy repeat after me 'merci!'
Goujat!

  • 82.
  • At 06:12 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Patdartagnan wrote:

Little sentences:
Excusez-moi, Monsieur, mais vôtre femme sent le fromage
Sorry, Sir, but your wife smells the cheese
Qu'est-ce qui est vert et que lorsque l'on appuie sur un bouton devient rouge ?
Une grenouille dans un mixeur...
Who is green and what when we press on a button becomes red ? A frog in a mixer...
Qu'est-ce qui a quatre pattes et un bras ?
Un pitbull dans un jardin d'enfants.
Who has four legs and one arm ?
A pitbull in a nursery school.
Qu'est-ce qui est vert et qui pue au fond des bois ? Réponse: Un scout mort depuis 1 mois.
Who is green and which stinks at the bottom of wood ? Answer: a boy scout died for 1 month. Wallabies and Kiwis for 1 week are good answer too.
Pourquoi les Irlandais courent a la fenêtre quand il y a de l'orage?
Pour être sur la photo.
Why Irish people run to the window when there is a thunderstorm?
To be on the photo.
Terrible accident d'hélicoptère dans un cimetière irlandais...
...les sauveteurs ont déjà dégagé plus de 500 corps.
Terrible accident of helicopter in a Irish cemetery ... rescuers have already freed up more than 500 bodies.

  • 83.
  • At 07:00 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Jonny's left boot wrote:

"hello to every body in england, i want you to know that the french language is an art and you just totaly show me that you can't write 2 sentences whithout 3 wrongstates. Go france!!! go the blue ones!!!
and shoot the first misters the english!"
-------------------------------------
Pot, kettle, black...anyone?

  • 84.
  • At 07:35 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Jo wrote:

Right for those of you who have made the trip from London to Paris for the game this weekend.Living out here at the moment I wish you:

"Bienvenue a Paris."

A fair few of you have asked "where is the best place to watch the game if we don't have tickets?"

Well there are 3 big screens around Paris (though I suggest getting there as early as possible before it packs out...)

1) Hotel de Ville (Metro Hotel de Ville)

2)The Rugby Village at Trocadéro (Metro Trocadéro OR ask for other options...)

3)There is a big screen outside the Stade de France but I reckon the other 2 would be best bet.

If you want a different atmosphere you will most bars, cafes and restaurants will be televising it..though aim for English/Irish bars etc unless you want to be out-numbered.

Hope the information helps people. Enjoy the evening wherever you watch the game.

  • 85.
  • At 09:07 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Clive Knight wrote:

Only two words for the French on Sunday morning: "Bonjour Tristesse" (or might it be for the English?)
Clive

  • 86.
  • At 09:18 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • tim c wrote:

GOOD EVENING'
'Telle est donc la conditione humaine que souhaiter
la grandeur de sons pay c'est souhaiter du mal a ses
voisins." [voltaire]

Such is the human condition,that to wish greatness for
one`s country is to wish harm to one`s neighbours"

he is an imbecile Bernard Laporte on christophe dominici. 2004

imposible n`est pas francais [Napoleon]
Say no more.
on ne change pas une equipe qui gagne
one does not change a winning team proverb

`"la chance sourit aux audcicieux"[ error ?]
" Fortune favours the brave"
il y a loin de la coupe aux levres"
there`s many a slip twixt cup and lip " and finally
DOUBT is the beginning not the end of wisdom
:Thomas"
ON that note bon chance and good night.

  • 87.
  • At 11:30 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • A_French_Man wrote:

A bit of french culture now cause I can see you all know it all about the language, frogs and semlly things. The game is only 24 hours from now ok so we need to work in emergency now and get to the point : cooking, language & traditions now gentlemen :

"Mon rosbeef je l'aime bien cuit mais bien sûr toujours un peu saignant, j'en fais toujours beaucoup comme ça je peux en emmener pour manger froid quand je pars en vacances sur une île britannique, je le mange accompagné de frites bien croustillantes et comme je suis civilisé je le mange toujours avec un petit verre de rouge pour voir la vie en rose. Bien sûr allez les Bleus et vive la France, et que le meilleur gagne !"

which it gives as an exact translation:

"My english fan I like it cooked enough but of course always a bit bleedy, I always cook a lot of it so that when i go on hollidays to a britannic island I can take some with me and it it cold, I eat it with french fries and considering I'm a civilised personn I always eat it with a small glass of red wine to see the life in pink. Of course God save your german Queen, come on the whites and may the best be French !"

  • 88.
  • At 11:44 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • Jhapinz wrote:

Quite simple really. Any team that loses 36-0 in pool play isnt deserving world cup champions. What a joke. To the earlier poster who described NZ as an insignificant country I believe that has to be the ultimate in arrogance- something NZ has been accused of again and again in recent posts. A country with so many players so much money and even then have to hire our retired rejects to sustsain a local competition. We'll see tomorrow but if that team that turned up against NZ turns up tomorrow then bye bye England. Not that it matters. See you in 4 years.

  • 89.
  • At 11:52 PM on 12 Oct 2007,
  • charlie wiel wrote:

Je sais bien que tu as de la peine, mais ne pleure pas comme une petitte fille.

I know it hurts, but there's no need to cry like a little girl.

  • 90.
  • At 01:12 AM on 13 Oct 2007,
  • London Pat wrote:

Chabal va nous manger!
Chabal is going to eat us!

I'm sure that if I was in France I'd be for the English despite their arrogance.

But I live in London, and hope for a Bleus against Pumas final! Sorry South Africa...

Having said that, England has never been more dangerous than when they were the underdogs (in rugby, that is), so the "Blancs" have their chances.

  • 91.
  • At 09:23 AM on 13 Oct 2007,
  • Wes wrote:

As an expat for the last 25 years I have never seen the French support with so much doubt. They're like a pancake waiting to be flipped. In any case by Monday I'm going to be up or down two bottles of champagne and 80 croissants. Come on England!

  • 92.
  • At 11:50 AM on 13 Oct 2007,
  • wrote:

Here in the heart of the French Pyrenees surrounded by some of the most fanatical and knowledgeable rugby supporters in France the lead up to tonight is amiable yet tense.

Will the later hours of today put "le Rosbiffs" on the menu, or as I expect will "les blue" have lost their appetite.

Either way its great that one of the Northern hemisphere's teams will be contesting the final.

Allez les Rose's

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