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The problem might be if the big cheeses amongst the elves are former Councillors or similar public service bosses.

I heard one Council convenor pleading how very many miles of road hi Council had to salt and how very difficult it all was. (Didn't go down too well with those who have been effectively car- or van-skiing their way into work for a week nearly now on un-gritted roads!)

Could you imagine the heart-sob stories the elves leaders might give out?

Those icebergs put up such a fight - they're such slippery customers! There's just so much sea out there! And it's just so very, very wet.

#1

there would be fewer problems on the roads if cars were fitted with appropriate tyres. It would be illegal to drive on summer tyres at this time of year in most central and northern European countries - but here it is much easier to blame everyone else rather than take personal responsibility

Good luck convincing anyone used to a 9-to-5 disposition to take up a job working offshore. I have no doubts that there are available positions, I'm just not convinced many people see it as a viable option.

I've been working offshore for around 10 years now - and in that time the average age of the offshore workforce in the UK has dropped from 53 to 47. We still lag a long way behind the likes of Norway with regards to the demographic diversity of our workforce. I can estimate perhaps 85% of workers are male in the UKCS (United Kingdom continental shelf) and that number being nearer 60% in Norway.

Working offshore means your away from home for at least 14 days every month. During that time you are on shift for 12 hours and in some cases always "on call" - There's no bar, no park, no woods or hills to walk in. Forget meeting your mates for a drink or a game of football! The closest you'll get is the games room, TV lounge and the Gym!

Access to phones is freely available - but depending on the POB (persons on board) this is usually restricted to 15 minutes per person to allow everyone an oppurtunity to call home. Internet access has become a little more widespread these days - with Norwegian companies paying for the facility of personal mobile phone usage and wifi for their workers (Sadly yet to materialise in the UK sector!)

Personally, I've missed birthdays, funerals, deaths and marriages through my job. In the case of those I know with families - baby steps, baby words and 1st days at school have been some of many missed events - much tothe dismay of new fathers.

It is not an easy life - by any stretch of the imagination. Hundreds if not thousands of marriages and relationships have broken down as a result of the commitment it requires. Countless more develop drink problems during thier "leave time" and as a result - their health and wellbeing as well as home-life suffers.

A distinct difference between working offshore and onshore is "time off" - whereby a worker can recieve 2 to 3 weeks holiday before reporting for work again. In my own time off, I've toured Asia and learned to speak fluent Japanese - visited Niagra falls in Canada and the US, counted the steps of the Chichen Itza in Mexico and swam with dolphins in Antigua. The benefits for me far outweigh the hard work and sacrifice that goes into making this lifestyle worth folllowing.

If anyone would like to work offshore - then visiting this site is highly recommended!



I will bid you all a very Merry Christmas from me - who as we speak is on an oil platform 140 miles Northeast of the Shetland Isles in the cold dark blue we fondly call the Northern North Sea! Tomorrow will be work as usual for the lads and I - but I'm content in the knowledge that come Sundays Chopper - I'll be preparing to take in 2010 in Tokyo with my freinds for a well-deserved winter break!

All the Best!

Gary

I hope the elves aren't planning any industrial action at a time of year when their service is most in demand, as the sneaky unions usually do in their greedy self-interest. The elves must think of my self-interest and not inconvenience me in any way in the run-up to Christmas. After that, let them strike and let them starve for all I care. I'm not in a union and I have to work 70+ hours a week with no paid overtime, no health care and no pension plan, so everybody else should, too. In fact, bring back chimney-sweeping children, lead in paint and asbestos. That'll learn the strikers who's boss.

#2 What a rather odd idea.

I mean I'm fine with changing tyres or using snow chains, but the problem really is that public "servants" keep moving goalposts. So, fine, Councils can stop gritting and ploughing the roads, reduce the Council Tax and business rates down accordingly and then the ordinary people (a.k.a. the electorate) can use the money they've saved to pay for snow chains or snow tyres.

Oh, but of course it won't work like that will it? We'll probably be told by allegedly honourable persons that the upward hike in the Council Tax was due to the change in ntaional legislation resulting in them having to pay out to fit the Council lorries, buses and cars with snow-tyres ..... blah ... blah ... blah.

Maybe fairy godfather Gordon could wave his wand and conjure up some extra elves. Are there no East European elves keen to work in the cheery arctic atmosphere ? Maybe the Border police could let in a few unemployed Genies from Asia to plug the gap assuming they bring valuable qualifications to Britain. A lot of our gritting elves only appeared on Christmas eve, after five pm when they were on overtime and likewise on Xmas day when I thought they'd be busy stuffing turkeys and delivering presents , but so what, they at least cleared the roads, and did what they're paid for, unlike the actual councillors who are paid a lot and deliver zilch.