Animal Tragic
There is a charming story, no doubt richly embellished with each boozy retelling, of a journey through the bush by two English cricket fans travelling between test matches.
Midway though the drive, they had the misfortune to plough headlong into a kangaroo, which lay lifeless at the side of the road.
A blazer-wearing member of the , one the men quickly decided there was mischief to be made out of this unfortunate accident. Quickly, he adorned the dead marsupial’s corpse in the egg and bacon colours of his illustrious club, dressing it in a blazer, tie and cap.
Just as they were about to capture on camera this moment for posterity - and imagining the delight their trophy-like snapshot would engender from club members back home - the corpse began to stir.
To the men’s great horror, the kangaroo got up, looked quizzically around and then bounded into the bush still wearing the tie and blazer. Supposedly tucked inside the jacket pocket was the MCC member’s passport, perhaps even his tickets for the next match.
The Brits love a good novelty Australian animal story, and never more so than when they involve kangaroos, sharks, koalas, snakes, Tasmanian devils and corpulent cane toads – or, ideally, a combination of all of the above.
Their narrative appeal lies, of course, in the buttressing effect they have on our dog-eared view of Australia, as a plucky frontier nation with a foul-mouthed - and probably foul-smelling - ‘Crocodile Dundee’ lurking behind every eucalyptus tree.
High-minded and haughty though this may well sound, I actually arrived in Australia on a ‘no novelty animal story’ ticket, having bid my editors in London adieu with the promise of avoiding stories about corpulent cane toads, feral pigs and ravenous sharks - or, for that matter, bushfires (unless they were truly horrific) and bizarre outback crimes (ditto).
The country offered a more nourishing menu of stories and issues: multiculturalism in the aftermath of Cronulla, the ongoing reconciliation debate, the rise of the green agenda, that vexed post 9/11 question of how much liberty should be sacrificed for security .
Suffice to say, my new job resolution lasted all of 48 hours, as I soon found myself mugging up on the lethal powers not of sharks but stringrays. had just been killed by one in Queensland.
So my first major story here was to cover his funeral in Queensland, a gaudy celebration of Outback Australia, where khaki was the new black.
Lost in our coverage amidst all the pathos and tears was the complicating, and thus almost unbefitting fact, that many Australians clearly felt somewhat embarrassed that the caricature-like figure of the ‘Crocodile Hunter’ had arguably become the country’s most prominent global ‘brand ambassador’.
Just before Christmas, I met up with some of the other British reporters who cover this vast, fascinating and often bewildering land and reflected on this unhealthy obsession with novelty animal stories.
Inevitably enough, that very day there had been an absolute belter in Victoria: , no less, surely the ultimate conflation of madcap animal yarns.
Our aim, as with every country, is to cover Australia in all its myriad forms. I’ve just spent the past week in the Northern Territory talking to members of the , of which more later.
And as regular readers of this blog will hopefully agree, we covered the recent federal election in a fair amount of detail.
So you can imagine my disappointment when I returned to Britain over Christmas and found myself being constantly reminded of a story I had filed some months back.
Did it feature Kevin Rudd, John Howard or even the Welsh-born Julia Gillard? Of course not. It involved that poor 60-year-old woman in outback Queensland who was killed by her , which apparently made her the object of his sexual desire.
It was the ‘most read’ story on our website for days - right up there in the Australian novelty animal story pantheon with ; and now, of course Shark Kills Swimming Kangaroo.
In conclusion, I should perhaps reveal what was arguably the ´óÏó´«Ã½â€™s most popular online Australian story of last year, which raced to the top of the ‘most read’ league table last year and made an unexpected appearance only last week: the revision to the points system which made it .
As much as we love our novelty animal stories, and the corny stereotypes they so often reinforce, we seem to like Australia even more.
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I have no problem with the stereotypes, so long as people realise that they're just that.
They're also not representative of all Australians, and to seriously classify Australians as crocodile dundee characters is an insult to the diversity and sophistication that exists within this country.
I was talking to a friend who had emigrated from England a few years ago, about his preconceptions of Australia. He seriously believed before he arrived, that he would have to know how to deal with deadly snakes, spiders, crocs, and sharks when he made the move to a wild and exotic plce known as "North Sydney" (this could account for all the SUVs we see around the place).
I find a lot of people in the UK seriously do think Australians live this wild, frontier lifestyle. All credit to Nick, who has recognised that we're far more - and that human civilisation on this continent is framed within an urban context on the whole.
Would be nice for the facts to make their way back to a country that would probably take us more seriously (economically and politically) if they knew the truth.
Is this too much to hope for?
I love your blogs! As an Australian living in France I predominately use the ´óÏó´«Ã½ website for information and I look forward to the Pacific region edition.
The article expolores the very essence of what I stuggle with when encountering interested French folk. No; i didn't grow up with a kangaroo, snakes, and sharks in my backyard!
Geeze, mate. Take it easy.
I for one, love these ideas of everyone else thinking that we get to work in Kangaroo pouches and have to fight off wild Dingos and Taipans to get lunch.
Why? Because taking the p*** out of tourists is a LOT of fun. Have you ever seen the look on a British tourist's face when you point to a huntsman near them and say 'careful of that widow over there, mate.'
Kodak moment, every time and without fail.
The story about the kangaroo getting hit by a car etc sounds like a great movie.... perhaps Kangaroo Jack would be a great name for this movie too!!!
From a fella Aussie!
The story about the kangaroo getting hit by a car etc sounds like a great movie.... perhaps Kangaroo Jack would be a great name for this movie too!!!
From a fella Aussie!
Nick, as a migrant from the UK myself, I have always had deep issues with the Steve Irwin image of Australia. After all, how many Australians actually live in "the bush", or away from major cities / urban centres? Yes, there is dangerous stuff out there, but what really is the frequency of such 'attacks'? More people die on Sydney's roads than from an animal, of any sort.
Then again, living on the Northern Beaches of Sydney, I have encountered a poisonous snake in our bathroom. Which I do not recall ever occurring when growing up in leafy Hertfordshire.
Oh, and yes, I did 'deal' with the snake, and no, that is not a euphemism for killing it.
Now i,m not trying to put off anyone
who would like to come too Australia,but fair dinkum not one word about the deadly box jellyfish,
and what about the dangerous Red Back
Spider and the ever present salt water crocodiles.
I wanna see the photos of the kangaroo wearing the cricket team's blazer! I understand that it is playing for the undefeated Aussie team. Show me the pictures.
I'm a sydneysider and usually strange animal stories get the third or fourth headline on nightly news. But it was strange that i only heard about the camel story through ´óÏó´«Ã½ online. i find it quite disparaging that most of the 'Australian content' on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ website is about 'those quirky australians with their quirky animals'. there are so many other political and social issues that are important. i've been asked by people overseas whether we keep kangaroos and crocodiles as pets. i dont know if that was stupidity or ignorance. i'm so glad you're showing the real oz through your blog. now only if they stopped publishing those quirky animal stories, the rest of the world would realise that we're more than crocodiles and sharks.
I'm a sydneysider and usually strange animal stories get the third or fourth headline on nightly news. But it was strange that i only heard about the camel story through ´óÏó´«Ã½ online. i find it quite disparaging that most of the 'Australian content' on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ website is about 'those quirky australians with their quirky animals'. there are so many other political and social issues that are important. i've been asked by people overseas whether we keep kangaroos and crocodiles as pets. i dont know if that was stupidity or ignorance. i'm so glad you're showing the real oz through your blog. now only if they stopped publishing those quirky animal stories, the rest of the world would realise that we're more than crocodiles and sharks.
Look,come on down to Oz,,we will welcome you,,,,iff you have a trade,we will kiss your a***,but don,t sprout off about your cricketers,our your union players,we don,t like big mouths,skits,join the boys at the pub,after work ,cop an ribben,and no more will be said,enjoy Australia i for one will welcome YOU,,,,Cheers.......
I agree with Pallavi. Lets face it, only the really weird stuff will get an airing. For example, how many 'only in America' stories do we love to hear about? However, before we get too indignant, perhaps we should stop and think about our perceptions of other countries.
I believe we have one of the most urbanised populations in the world - so the whole Croc Dundee thing is such a myth. And Nick, you are so right about Steve Irwin - personally, I found him a bit of an embarresment,but on the other hand, he took advantage of that ignorance of people overseas and look how it worked for him!
I look forward to your hearing about your trip to NT.
As an Australian living in Scotland, I go through phases of loving and loathing the reporting of Australia. My all time favourite story? About 4 years ago when I first moved to the UK, the one story about my home town of Brisbane was the 'udder tampering' scandal at the Royal Brisbane Show where the teats on cow's udders were glued shut in order for them to appear fuller and win more prizes at the show! Classic! I had that printed out and stuck up on my office wall for months!
As an Australian living in Scotland, I go through phases of loving and loathing the reporting of Australia. My all time favourite story? About 4 years ago when I first moved to the UK, the one story about my home town of Brisbane was the 'udder tampering' scandal at the Royal Brisbane Show where the teats on cow's udders were glued shut in order for them to appear fuller and win more prizes at the show! Classic! I had that printed out and stuck up on my office wall for months!
As an Australian living in Scotland, I go through phases of loving and loathing the reporting of Australia. My all time favourite story? About 4 years ago when I first moved to the UK, the one story about my home town of Brisbane was the 'udder tampering' scandal at the Royal Brisbane Show where the teats on cow's udders were glued shut in order for them to appear fuller and win more prizes at the show! Classic! I had that printed out and stuck up on my office wall for months!
When I lived in the UK, I always thought that the Poms clung onto the outdated pejorative stereotypes of foreigners (especially Australians) as way of coping with their own decline and decay. They were a little like an old incontinent relative who likes to tell stories about how his was once virile and tough - unlike today young’ins. I used to encourage the spread of these stories, in the vain hope that they would shorten the queues outside Australia House in London, but is seems that most Brits find British beef more dangerous than Australian snakes and spiders.
When I lived in the UK, I always thought that the Poms clung onto the outdated pejorative stereotypes of foreigners (especially Australians) as way of coping with their own decline and decay. They were a little like an old incontinent relative who likes to tell stories about how his was once virile and tough - unlike today young’ins. I used to encourage the spread of these stories, in the vain hope that they would shorten the queues outside Australia House in London, but is seems that most Brits find British beef more dangerous than Australian snakes and spiders.
When I lived in the UK, I always thought that the Poms clung onto the outdated pejorative stereotypes of foreigners (especially Australians) as way of coping with their own decline and decay. They were a little like an old incontinent relative who likes to tell stories about how his was once virile and tough - unlike today young’ins. I used to encourage the spread of these stories, in the vain hope that they would shorten the queues outside Australia House in London, but alias it seems that most Brits find British beef more dangerous than Australian snakes and spiders.
As an Australian who has lived in the U.S. for over 30 years, I have done my bit to educate the average American on Australia - no, I don't have a pet kangaroo, and no, I didn't live in the outback and yes, this is an Australian accent even if I don't sound like Steve Irwin or Crocodile Dundee. However, I've spent just as much time with delusional Australians who think we all live like the families in dreadful Hollywood sitcoms. Or believe that the U.S. is so dangerous because of guns (yes it is but I live in the country and don't have to have double locks on my doors like my family in Sydney!) It's hard not to believe the stereotypes of any country. But thanks for giving us more than terrifying animal stories.
Don't believe any of these Aussies when they tell you their country isn't full of nasties!
Since moving to Australia a few months ago I have been stung in the foot by a stingray and bitten by a poisoness spider.
I had a venomous brown snake in the garden of a place where I stayed and another one coiled up outside a clients' office.
Hailstones the size of footballs have destroyed the neighbours cars and a friends hotel was so infested with moths that they had to shut the whole establishment.
Plagues of Secadas wee on your head from the trees above and there are so many flies that to open your mouth would be very unwise.
.........and this is the same country whose airport customs officials spend half an hour cleaning your golf shoes in case you bring in anything unwanted on your spikes!
How can we reconcile this?
The answer is of course:
'it's Orstalia mate!
Don't believe any of these Aussies when they tell you their country isn't full of nasties!
I love it here but since moving to Australia a few months ago I have been stung in the foot by a stingray and bitten by a poisoness spider.
I had a venomous brown snake in the garden of a place where I stayed and another one coiled up outside a clients' office.
Hailstones the size of footballs have destroyed the neighbours cars and a friends hotel was so infested with moths that they had to shut the whole establishment.
Plagues of Secadas wee on your head from the trees above and there are so many flies that to open your mouth would be very unwise.
.........and this is the same country whose airport customs officials spend half an hour cleaning your golf shoes in case you bring in anything unwanted on your spikes!
How can we reconcile this?
The answer is of course:
'it's Orstalia mate!
I'm a Brit (welsh, not a pom) who moved to QLD 3 months ago.
I think the reason that a lot of Australian news doesn't get reported abroad, apart from the quirky stuff, is that Australia doesn't have too much impact internationally.
I don't intend that statement to be insulting but apart from th good work on Kyoto and the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, the country does little that isn't solely concerned with itself.
A problem which I think is worse is the complete lack of international news on Aussie tv. There is the occasional story mentioned but, as a rule, Aussie tv news is the most insular I have come across. A case in point, the other day the news mentioned that Australia had come third in some sporting tournament; that was it. No mention of who came first or second.
Thank the lord for SBS
I'm a Brit (welsh, not a pom) who moved to QLD 3 months ago.
I think the reason that a lot of Australian news doesn't get reported abroad, apart from the quirky stuff, is that Australia doesn't have too much impact internationally.
I don't intend that statement to be insulting but apart from th good work on Kyoto and the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, the country does little that isn't solely concerned with itself.
A problem which I think is worse is the complete lack of international news on Aussie tv. There is the occasional story mentioned but, as a rule, Aussie tv news is the most insular I have come across. A case in point, the other day the news mentioned that Australia had come third in some sporting tournament; that was it. No mention of who came first or second.
Thank the lord for SBS
Rob James
It's a compliment that Australia would focus on its own interests. Otherwise it has not learnt the lessons of sending 2 generations off to Europe in WW1 and WW2 with little reciprocity for its own defence.
Nick. Britain is part of Europe, its media reflects this and 'World News' is from a European perspective. Hence the preoccupation with exotic wild life stories.
ps You didn't mention the drop bears
I'm a pom (Welsh) who lives in France and goes to Australia fairly frequently and for longish (2 months +) periods.
I visit Sydney for short periods but spend most of my time in Townsville in N. Queensland.
Townsville is for Sydneysiders the 'outback' but it is a superbly well managed town with facilities which would make most Welsh and French towns groan with envy.
The Strand (the prom to us) is magnificent, the Water Park superb, the Riverside Swimming complex gob smackingly goo; from the top of Castle Rock you can see more tennis courts, football and rugby pitches than you would find in Cardiff. The paths along the Ross River are well tended and beautiful.
And this is in a town of approx 140,000.
BUT, my daughter has been bitten by a red back and when gardening I found an Australian brown snake, quite venomous I am told, wriggling between my feet. And for 7 months a year sea bathing is ill advised because of stingers, and salt water crocodiles, now protected are being seen off Townsville beaches.
And the news is parochial, and often in a foreign language. It would drive me round the twist to have only Lithuanian or Hungarian news in the morning.
And once (really) we were told that their had nearly been an accident in a car park with a glass container of chemicals on local TV news.
As for Australian involvement abroad, dont forget the action they took in East Timor to stave off what could well have developed into ethnic cleansing.
I think Oz is a wonderful place, and, with the benefit of hindsight, should have gone, family and all as a 'ten pound pom.'