Big Ted gears up for Aussie showdown
There aren't many English sportsmen who can make grown Australian men cry, but Andrew Sheridan is one of them.
It makes it all the stranger that, when he's not playing rugby, this scrum-smashing, 19-stone giant comes across as bashful as Bambi.
Sheridan's deeds against and in last autumn's World Cup quarter-final were so terrifyingly destructive, so utterly brutal, that you expect him to be a raw-meat eating monster off the pitch as well.
Instead, he displays all the aggression of a novice nun. Rather than wrestling bears and bashing through walls, the man his team-mates call Big Ted likes nothing more than strumming country and folk songs on his acoustic guitar.
"I've probably written about 25 songs now," he tells me politely at England's training headquarters.
"I like artists like and , although obviously I'm not comparing myself to them.
"I've played the guitar for about eight years now. Your fingers get a fair amount of punishment playing rugby - some players can't really bend them by the end of their careers, so I have to keep them flexible. It can get quite hard on the strings."
This is the same man who can bench-press 500lb (roughly three normal-sized men), and who caused so much damage to the that neither of his opposite numbers were able to stay on the field.
First Al Baxter, who'd spend most of the match with his nose burrowed into the Twickenham turf, was sin-binned for consistently and desperately collapsing the scrum. Then Matt Dunning, stepping in to fill the gap, lasted just one set-piece before being stretchered off the field.
"I don't start swearing or jumping around or anything," says Sheridan. "I find the song-writing really relaxing and calming, and then on the pitch a different side of my personality comes out. It's just the way I am."
In the flesh Sheridan looks spookily like a musclebound, body-builder version of . Ahead of this weekend's meeting with England, the Australians must fear that it'll be a case of Bigmuscles Strikes Again.
England manager Martin Johnson was staying cautious at his news conference on Tuesday, too experienced to give an Australian team any more motivation than it needs, but questions inevitably centred on the battle up front.
"The scrummage used to be a weakness for them, but it is not any more," he said diplomatically.
Aussie hooker Stephen Moore tried to brush off talk of the 'S' word, but almost contradicted himself as he did so.
"We've not spoken about Sheridan any more than we would about any opponent," he said. "We have worked hard on our scrummaging, and there is no doubt it has improved a lot."
That might be true. Australia's pack surprised many with its performances in places during the Tri-Nations. Trouble is, we were also told before the that it had been reborn, and look what happened next.
Australia have named their side for Saturday's match, and Baxter is still on the scene, with Dunning on the bench. As the skinny version of Morrissey might say, stop me if you've heard this one before.
Johnson also denied that his selection of Phil Vickery at tight-head prop was anything more than a reflection of Vickery's physical freshness and old-hand experience, but the symbolism will not be lost on the Wallabies scrum.
Vickery is the last remaining survivor from the of almost exactly five years ago. He also propped with Sheridan in those demolition jobs in 2005 and 2007; both men were absent when Australia beat England twice in both 2006 and 2004.
For an Aussie pack comprehensively dismantled on the latter occasions, it must be like coming up against a pair of Terminators. Whenever you think they've gone, whatever you try against them, they keep coming back to get you, eyes blazing, weapons firing.
I remember chatting to some Australian fans in Marseille before the game last October. They were utterly sure their side would triumph - and to be fair, nothing had happened in that tournament so far to suggest they might be wrong.
Even at that stage, however, they were in awe of Sheridan. That was the legacy of 2005.
After the game, and England's Sheridan-inspired shock win, the mere mention of his name was enough to have them bawling into their bouillabaisse.
It was the way England cricket fans used to feel about Shane Warne - that sense of dread whenever he took the field, the utter conviction that he had the voodoo touch over them.
Big Ted being the way he is, however, he looks genuinely shocked when I tell him.
"Really? They really said that?"
He shakes his head in wonder. "That's a big compliment coming from Australians. That's a really good thing to hear."
Sheridan doesn't always get the same respect from supporters of other nations. Those two matches against the Wallabies were undeniably the best of his international career, and there's sometimes the criticism that he doesn't produce those sort of prop-pulverising performances consistently enough.
The next three weeks, with the Springboks and All Blacks also due to visit Twickenham, give him the chance to prove the naysayers wrong.
If he does, just don't expect him to make a song and dance about it. Well - not a dance, anyway.
Comment number 1.
At 12th Nov 2008, owlzat! wrote:Great article but no-one in the England team has ever called Sheridan Big Ted. The media made up the name and keep reporting it but its a myth.
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Comment number 2.
At 12th Nov 2008, Happy_Scrapper wrote:Good old Sheri.... I have to say, no matter whether he puts in under-par performances against other opposition for the rest of his career, as long as he keeps the Aussies at bay, I'll be a fan.
That's a canny move from Johnno to start Vickery in place of Stevens. Come the hour-mark, the impact from the subs' bench will finish the Aussies off.
(PS: Swift editing work with the deliberate mistake on paragraph 8, Fordyce...)
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Comment number 3.
At 12th Nov 2008, metaspective wrote:Does anyone remember Sheridan playing back-row against a South African midweek team during an England tour some years ago? His carrying was magnificent: we're hoping for more of the same over next three weeks!
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Comment number 4.
At 12th Nov 2008, fastasfk3 wrote:I remember him on that SAf Tour. He was awesome. Remember seeing a picture in the back of the Telegraph with 5 South African players trying to bring him down. It isn't often props are visible in the game to the average punter unless you know your front row skills, or even turn a game.
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Comment number 5.
At 12th Nov 2008, mjlengland wrote:Calling him Big Ted is not a myth, it's just the name he got at Sale when Jim Mallinder's kid thought his dad was recruiting (a slightly bigger version of) Teddy Sheringham?
Surely he is allowed to keep the same nickname when he then makes it in to the England set up?
Awesome player when at his best though. We could do with him back at Edgeley in his Aussie-beating form.
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Comment number 6.
At 12th Nov 2008, gammyknee wrote:Why are the media being so cocky about an England walkover on Saturday? Personally I think it's a schoolboy error; Australia are always incredibly hard to beat.
All I'm reading is 'Bid Ted's gonna help England hammer the Aussies.' When have we ever hammered the Aussies? Does no one remember what actually happened in the world cup QF? Yes we pushed them off the scrum but they were constantly battering us out wide and it was a desperate struggle to defend and in the end we won because Mortlock missed his kick, not because Sheridan was swinging Aussie props around his head for fun.
I hope we do dominate and beat them on Saturday, but to treat it like a forgone conclusion is extremely foolish.
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Comment number 7.
At 12th Nov 2008, faceplanter wrote:I remember the QF in Marseille very well as I was there. Maybe I had the rose-tinted specs on, but as I remember it England squandered a number of opportunities (Catt should have been in under the posts, 3 - 1 overlap wasted twice....), and the 12-10 scoreline was very flattering to Australia. The general consensus after the game seemed to be that if the last minute penalty had gone over, it would have been a travesty.
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Comment number 8.
At 12th Nov 2008, gammyknee wrote:Perhaps you're right, I still think we need to be careful about proclaiming a floor-wiping though.
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Comment number 9.
At 12th Nov 2008, somuchforthecity wrote:You're quite right faceplanter.
The reason England won that game was because of their aggression, impact and physicality around the tackle area. The English rucked the Aussies off the park that day and should have won by more.
Sheirdan and the front five contributed in the tight, but really it was the back row who won the game, outperforming the world-class aussie back-row of Smith, Waugh and Palu.
To put it down to one missed kick (and probably a 30%er at that) is ridiculous.
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Comment number 10.
At 12th Nov 2008, faceplanter wrote:Having said that about the QF, I completely agree with you about this Saturday. The fact that we had a lot of slow ball last week, and gave away quite a few penalties for holding on, is a big area of concern heading into this week. We will need to be much better at the breakdown (quick, aggressive and ruthless, whilst at all times remaining on our feet !!) otherwise our new wonder backs will not be getting much opportunity to show what they've got.
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Comment number 11.
At 12th Nov 2008, KingKultur wrote:Definitely does it against Australia - not as consistent against other nations which perhaps reflects Australia's 'past?' scrummaging weaknesses rather than Sheridan's supposed dominance. Didn't the England scrum go backwards for most of the game against NZ last year. Clearly, potentially one of the best but not yet great!
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Comment number 12.
At 12th Nov 2008, Addicktedto11 wrote:Have to chip in my bit about the QF not being down to a missed kick. I had actually moved over to brisbane a week before the game because of my aussie girfriend and was getting awful flack from her family/associates in the build up. After the 1st 10 minutes, when the ref realised it was the aussie's who couldn't fight there end, we dominated to the point where the friends/family i was watching it with were bemoaning the current crop of green n gold forwards.
If an Australian feels the team should have won he will protest til he's blue in the face that they were robbed, if they know they were truly beaten the will bemoan they current crop as not living up to its predecessors great heights.
To a man they were doing the latter, what does this tell you.
As for that penalty it was definatly less than 50%, and do we forget the fact that the Aus scrum was dominated to the extent that even the veteran Greagan was making the most basic handling errors? That Mike Catt could/sould have scrored at least one try? and less we not forget Paul Sackeys incredible smother tackle when the Aussies had 2 men over on their left flank, epitomizing the guts and determination shown all game by the England team as a whole.
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Comment number 13.
At 12th Nov 2008, KÃllìnghölmê_Clᥠ(aka Charlie Cheesecake) wrote:I was in Brisbane during that QF game. Boy did it go quiet. All you could hear was the sound of sobbing, tears dripping into tastless beer and the dark mumblings about introducing new "uncontested scrummaging" rules.
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Comment number 14.
At 12th Nov 2008, gammyknee wrote:Was trying to make a point about over-hyping this weekend more than anything but nevermind.
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Comment number 15.
At 12th Nov 2008, Tom Fordyce wrote:Happy_Scrapper - if you're interested in mistakes, you might like the one I made down at England's training HQ on Tuesday.
After the press conference, I found myself walking up the long path to the car-park at exactly the same time and pace as a sandwich-munching Phil Vickery. It felt a bit weird not saying anything, so I asked him what he was eating - a poor line, for sure, but anything to break the awkward silence.
"Pitta bread with salad," he replied, friendly enough.
"Like a girl's kebab," I suggested, before suddenly realising what I'd said and clutching my head in abject horror.
Yup - I accused a 19st 9lb England prop of eating girls' kebabs.
I can't believe I'm still alive.
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Comment number 16.
At 12th Nov 2008, RedDevil4Life wrote:I'm really looking forward to the game on Saturday, I hope that we carry on with the momentum of the win at the weekend. It was a good start for Martin Johnson, and I think there were a lot of positives for him.
I'm not sure we will 'hammer' the aussies this weekend, well not in terms of the final scoreline, but i'm sure all of the guys will be fired up and ready for another physical encounter. If we can come out on top in the scrum, breakdown and lineouts then we should get the result we want.
'Big Ted' will be one to watch, lets hope that he can come up with the goods once more against the Aussies. It will also be very interesting to see how Danny Cipriani performs in what will effectively be his first 'big' test match, personally i don't think he will be fazed.
C'mon England!
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Comment number 17.
At 12th Nov 2008, Artwickers wrote:Tom,
i met Phil once and he seems like a modern man. I'm sure he does eat girls kebabs - i know this is juvenile but think of the connotations of what you say!
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Comment number 18.
At 12th Nov 2008, LioninDurbs wrote:It will be interesting to see him against an inexperienced world cup winning captain in the form of John Smit.
It might just bring JS back to earth a bit
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Comment number 19.
At 12th Nov 2008, askew77 wrote:Get over it England, you didn't win the World Cup in 2007 and that's what counts. I like Martin Johnson but he is a poor man's John Eales and you know it. Good luck on saturday
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Comment number 20.
At 13th Nov 2008, smellslikesalmon wrote:Artwickers, exactly, that's what the joke was...
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Comment number 21.
At 13th Nov 2008, notachucker wrote:13,
I'll take my 'tasteless' (cold) beers and sunshine over your warm beers (served in plastic pints because of thuggery) and rain anyday!
Regarding the 2007 QF, I think that it's absolutely ridiculous to claim that the scoreline flattered Oz. As someone else suggest (but to support the argument funnily enough) Gregan was making an outrageous number of handling errors, and no, MOST of these were not forced by the scrum. Also, Tuqiri bungled a huge overlap, although made up for it later with a try. As for the last penalty, whether it was 1% or 100% doesn't make a difference, it could have been kicked.
As for the game on saturday. I have said for a while that England will be Australias toughest game of the AIs. The poms always seem to step of their game against us. I think Smith will play a key role and mortlock/cross/gituea will be punching holes through the 10/11/12 channels, targetting the 'infamous' cips. If we get enough ball, Oz to win by a try. If the poms starve us of possession, England by the famous '3'.
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Comment number 22.
At 13th Nov 2008, hall_mackem wrote:notachucker,
I really wouldn't. Give me a real ale over that mass produced guff any day.
If I want it cold I can quite easily leave it in the fridge for a while.
Anyway... back to the Rugby. If you think England are still going for the pugilists approach then think again. If our back three can get decent ball then you may struggle.
Australia are a completely different level to the Pacific Islanders but pace is pace whoever it's against.
I can't see you getting much change in the forwards, front row battle will be England's with ease and as for the back row battle, well I reckon Tom Rees will be able to show your boys a thing or two after more than holding his own against a certain Richie McCaw in an earlier test series.
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Comment number 23.
At 13th Nov 2008, marko wrote:I wonder if the referee on Saturday will stop the mighty Sheridan scrummaging with his hand on the floor?
He got called for it once last weekend but has got away with it too often in the past.
If the man mountain Tackleberry-a-like is made to play by the laws we'll see how good he really is.
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Comment number 24.
At 13th Nov 2008, handy-legend wrote:Sheridan is going to be fired up for saturday, alot depends on the ref, if australia cannot get under his skin ,then england will win by some margin, if the ozzies do scrum well and hold their own it will make things very close. With the new ELV's, scrums are much more attacking now, and we are having less lineouts which is good.
Johnson is widely regarded by players past and present as being one of the greatest players ever to play the game,certainly in the pro era. Not a poor man's John Eales, just a hard and uncompromising character who intimidated the opposition. I wish Jonno good luck with saturday's clash!
Swing Low Sweet Chariot!
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Comment number 25.
At 14th Nov 2008, CASSEROLEON wrote:Most people do not seem to be really aware that young Sheridan was first taken on an England "A" tour to North America as a general utility back five ( well OK four) player, who could always be asked to prop if need be.
Philip St. Andre at Sale decided that he had the potential to be a World class loose-head prop and signed him. So the bad news for the opposition is that basically Sheridan has been on a steep learning curve, with his progress punctuated by a whole sequence of injuries; probably in part due to the consequence of initially depending more on sheer brute strength rather than technique. When he eventually marries the two together, the rest of the World will really have to worry.
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Comment number 26.
At 15th Nov 2008, notachucker wrote:hall_mackem,
Going to take your pint home and put it in the fridge? That's an odd concept.
You have obviously never had any decent beers from Oz, I assure you there are some good ones. Also, I'm sorry to inform you, if you have never heard it before, but Englands 'ale' is on par with your food as far as taste is concerned.
Pace IS pace, but pace is also nothing without engineering gaps to run through, something that surely even you can admit, Australia is much better at.
I wouldn't believe everything you read in the times about the oz scrum. I think you might be in for a bit of a shock.
As for Rees, you are a fool if you think that he is good enough to match Smith. In fact, eddie mcguire recently said he thought Smith is better than Mccaw, can't say I agree with him but quite a compliment still.
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Comment number 27.
At 16th Nov 2008, askew77 wrote:To the ´óÏó´«Ã½ thanks for bigging up Big Ted - reality is he underperformed today and isn't the scrum genius all the English press thought in fact the Aussie scrum probably come out even maybe ahead. Twickenham looks great now but the crowd is the most ignorant rugby crowd I have seen - Cardiff Arms Park is a real crowd and a real stadium - it's where John Eales won his second World cup (in the professional era...)
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Comment number 28.
At 17th Nov 2008, crazycardiffguy wrote:Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Another brilliant piece of unbiased journalism from!
Hope you feel silly :):):)
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Comment number 29.
At 22nd Nov 2008, askew77 wrote:Good luck England v SA - just remember every time you play SA or Aus your playing a double world champion...not just 66 and all that
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