大象传媒

Memories 3e

1945

January 12

Passing-out parade in steady sleet. By truck and train to the Great Central Hotel in Marylebone, which had been taken over for the Duration as a Staging Post. With the lads to see Phyllis Dixey鈥檚 鈥淧eek-a-boo鈥� strip tease at the Whitehall 鈥� very tasty. On to the Nuffield Centre to see John Clements and Jack Warner in a cabaret 鈥� welcome to the West End.

January 13

To Shepherd鈥檚 Bush to watch Reading play football against Queens Park Rangers, as a fellow-cadet, Bob Hardisty, was playing for Reading. The first football match I have ever watched, and it will be the last, too, if I have my way 鈥� boooring.

January 14

To Teddington, to see Dad and Mum. Another first 鈥� asked Dad for a 鈥渟malls鈥�, and he gave 拢10, which was about ten times what I had expected.

January 19

Sergeant Elaine Ritchie, having got herself a posting to Italy a couple of months too late to join me there, is at the Paddington Transit Camp. Took her to the Gaumont, Haymarket, to see 鈥淪ince you went away鈥�, ate at the Corner House, then took her to Paddington to check that all her troops were safely back home, before kissing her goodnight 鈥� what are the regulations about Gunners smooching with Sergeants?

January 21

Took Elaine home to Teddington. Long walk in snow-covered Bushey Park with her and Joan, a happy evening at home, then by tube to Paddington, planning an Anzio Day party for tomorrow. The Fates decreed otherwise; when we reached Elaine鈥檚 transit camp, she got her embarkation orders for tomorrow. Tearful farewell; will our paths ever cross again?

January 22

The first of many Anzio Anniversary Days. What a gruelling action that was, and how lucky I was to get out of it in one piece. Rang Dad at Ebury Bridge House, then walked along to say goodbye to him. After telling me that the best brothels in Bombay were on Grant Road, he said 鈥淏e good, and don鈥檛 be in too much of a hurry to come back!鈥� Rambled around the familiar London streets for hours, missing Elaine and getting used to the idea of being Off Island again.

January 24

Long, long blacked-out train ride from Kings Cross to the Princes Landing Stage in Liverpool, the same embarkation point as that used by my Field Regiment en route for the North African
adventure two years ago. Stagger up the gangplank on to the 鈥淥tranto鈥�, an ageing 鈥淟uxury Liner鈥�, converted to a troopship for the duration. Accommodated in rows of hammocks on 鈥淓鈥� Deck, with
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portholes 鈥� much better than the Stygian darkness of the lower decks. No heating at all, so we wear all our clothes, day and night.

January 28

After three utterly miserable, freezing days at the quayside, sail off into the Atlantic in convoy with six other troopships and destroyer escorts. 鈥淥tranto鈥� soon rolling well in heavy seas. Spent the day on deck, revelling in the fresh air and wind-swept rollers, while those below decks got down to the serious business of being sea-sick.

February 4

Weather warming up at last, greatcoats off, appetites regained by the vomiteers. Headed East, passed Gibraltar, dropped our destroyer escorts and steamed at full speed into the Mediterranean.

February 8

Reach Port Said at teatime. Bumboats come out to sell dates, figs and so on. Raid the Sick Bay for condoms, which, filled with water, make excellent missiles for the newly-invented pastime of Bombing Bumboats.

February 17

Reach Aden, blazing with lights 鈥� they don鈥檛 seem to know that there is a war on. Permission given for sleeping on deck. Volunteer for the job of Deck Sergeant, to secure a place on deck for the rest of the trip 鈥� anything would be better than the cramped, noisy, malodorous hammocks on E Deck.

February 23

Anchor off Bombay. Wild rumours circulating 鈥� we are to be sent to Bangalore to be turned into Infantry, etc.etc. Orders arrive 鈥� we are off to the School of Artillery in Deolali tomorrow. Mail Call 鈥� seven letters from Teddington 鈥� well done, family.

February 24

By lighter, carrying all our paraphernalia, to the Gateway to India. By truck to ornate Victoria Station, and by train (more comfortable than I had expected), up the Western Ghats to Deolali. Quickly whisked by truck to the 鈥淏ungalows鈥� at the School 鈥� actually long terraces of large rooms.
After three years of living cheek by jowl with Gunners in large numbers, in barracks, tents and holes in the ground, what bliss to be able to say 鈥淭his is my room鈥� to shut the door, and be absolutely alone. Over to the Mess for a good meal, eaten at a table with waiters in attendance; what joy, after three years of beef stew from a mess tin.

March 9

Typical day at the School.

飩� One hour of 鈥淪mall Arms Training鈥� 鈥� mostly, doubling round the square, carrying a rifle and 18 inch bayonet at the high port.
飩� Over the Assault Course, also carrying rifle with bayonet.

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飩� Lectures on gunnery till curry lunch.
飩� Visit to an abattoir, learning how to be a Unit Messing Officer. Have to watch while four ancient and emaciated bullocks have their throats cut from ear to ear and are dissected at high speed.
飩� Dinner (curried beef!) and whiskies at the Mess.
飩� Stagger to the Bungalows, to build up energy for tomorrow鈥檚 early-morning Small Arms Training or Screw-gun Drill.

March 21

Completed our Motor Course by driving some 100 miles down the Western Ghats 鈥� countless hairpin bends. As on all drives on the Course, I volunteered to drive the ration truck, as it went ahead of the dust-raising convoy. After 77 miles, stop for lunch 鈥� bully-beef sandwiches and tea, with marmalade, more bread, and peaches on the side. After helping out in cookhouses in North Africa and Italy, speedy preparation of large trays of food seems to come naturally, and am quite happy to be addressed as 鈥淐ookie鈥�.

March 29

Shivering and a splitting headache indicated that another visit by the dreaded Malaria had arrived. Whisked off in a staff car to the British Military Hospital.

March 31

The doctors say that I had a five-hour 鈥淩igor鈥�, with heavy sweating, shivering, hallucinations 鈥� the lot. Think I am about to become a Corner of some Foreign Field that is Forever England, but am still in Deolali when the supper and Bass Ale comes.

April 7

Fully compus mentis, and back to the School.

April 19

Friends of a friend in England, Major and Mrs Hughes, invite me to dinner at their spacious bungalow in Deolali compound. Together with the Hughes, two other majors and a colonel, sit down to mulligatawny soup, fried standing pomfret, roast chicken and vegetables, followed by the chef鈥檚 piece de resistance, a colossal Baked Alaska (my first). Fine cigars and port rounded off an evening which had started rather inauspiciously, when, during the consumption of pre-prandial 鈥淕imlets鈥�, our hostess had called the major domo to enquire as to the reason for a hullabaloo in the bungalow courtyard.

Major Domo 鈥淭he cook has thrown his wife off the water tower鈥�
Hostess 鈥淥h dear, I do hope that dinner won鈥檛 be late鈥�

April 28

Up at 0230 hours, to catch the 0400 hours train to Bombay, for a weekend off. Train arrives at 0500 hours, and rattles down to Bombay in 4 hours. To the splendid Taj Mahal hotel for breakfast. Eat a strange fruit - pawpaw, seeds and all 鈥� nobody told me that the seeds should have been taken out.
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Book in at the less grand Majestic hotel, have lunch at Greens, and call on Miss Burns, the sister of Dad鈥檚 secretary at the Woolwich office. To a dinner-dance at the Taj - nobody to dance with 鈥� bump into a bunch of cadets at midnight, hire a Victoria carriage, cruise the deserted streets, singing

I love a lassie
A bonny wee Madrassie
She鈥檚 as black as the smoke from flaming Hell
She cleans her teeth with charcoal
And saf karos her armpit With a torah tunda panee from the well

May 2

Malaria again. Back to Hospital.

May 5

Good news to speed my recovery. Germans in Europe have surrendered to us. Huge relief to know that Mum and Dad are safe from the V1s and V2s.

May 8

V.E.DAY

Go before a Medical Board. They downgrade me to 鈥淐鈥�, due to recurrent malaria 鈥� not good. Return to the School 鈥� everyone celebrating excessively. Listen to Churchill鈥檚 victory speech 鈥� he鈥檚 my man.

May 14

Being in the category of Walking Wounded, watch the Victory Parade from behind the Brigadier鈥檚 Saluting Base. Artillery from the School first 鈥� 25, 17, and 6 pounder guns, followed by the Cadets, marching eight abreast, and looking very smart. Feel very proud of them, but not proud enough to want to be marching, in the stifling heat. Next came thousands of British and Indian troops, all marching poorly.

May 19

Win a bet of 10 rupees (75p) by dating Nurse Joyce Hayler from the hospital 鈥� take her to tea at the Officers鈥� Club. Pleasant way to make money.

May 24

Tasty dinner with Joyce at the Kwang-Tung restaurant in the Bazaar. Learn to use chopsticks.

May 30 - 31

Hard day directing fire on the ranges. Back to see a familiar yet totally unexpected figure crossing the maidan in front of the Bungalows 鈥� Brother-in-Law Gerry, whose ship, the London (I think)
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had docked in Bombay a couple of days before. Deck him out in one of my Cadet鈥檚 uniforms and sally down to the Bazaar for good Chinese nosh at the Kwang-Tung. On to a dance at the Officers鈥� Club, talking our heads off. Batman Sammy had put up a bed on my veranda, so that was Gerry鈥檚
accommodation solved. Next day, take a Sickie on account of a sore foot, write a joint letter home, talk, talk, talk, and see Gerry on the train to Bombay at 1730 hours. Lonely evening.

June 7

22 today. My first go at being Gun Position Officer on the range 鈥� luckily, succeed in getting all the shells to go in roughly the right direction.

June 12

Take the 25 pounders out for our first 鈥淒rill Order鈥� 鈥� getting the guns into action. Deploy seven times, in which I play the roles of, successively, Troop Commander, Layer on Number Three, Signals N.C.O., Tea Maker, Battery Sergeant Major, Layer on Number Two, and Troop Leader 鈥� talk about versatility. Totally pooped in the evening.

July 2

Part of the skills we are required to master is fluency in Urdu. After many morning sessions with my Munshi, sit the Oral, which is held in a caravan. Having no confidence in my linguistic ability, quiz the first 10 Cadets who come out of the caravan, and scribble down the questions they have been asked 鈥� luckily, they turn out to be pretty repetitious. Armed with this crib, scrape through the exam, which earns me a bonus of R100. Test Papers, written to cover the halfway stage of the course, are handed out 鈥� Cadet Bate top of the class 鈥� whiskies all round.

July 5

Out on the Range, firing the 25 pounders. As No 1 on No 3 gun, get a 鈥渉angfire鈥�, (a short wait, followed by a bang), a 鈥渕isfire鈥� (a long wait, after which the faulty shell is carefully extracted). and a 鈥渂ad ram鈥�

No 1 鈥淏ad ram on No 3 sir!鈥�

Instructor 鈥淗ow bad is it, No 1鈥�

No 1 ( peering up the barrel) 鈥淣ot too bad, sir鈥�

Instructor 鈥淭hen fire it off!鈥�

No 3 BANG, WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH (shell exiting, slightly sidewise)

July 12

News from Tig 鈥� Dad is going to Germany in Brigadier鈥檚 uniform (!), to organise the distribution of labour there 鈥� similar to the job he did in Birmingham in the War.

July 17

Great news from Mum.- my first nephew has arrived. Dash off a letter to Tig 鈥� very well done.
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July 28

Labour Government elected in Britain. Officers and Cadets in deepest gloom.

Asked to express our preferences for our postings as commissioned officers. Looks as though, last-minute disasters excepted, we are heading for our pips. I ask for a Survey Regiment, where my qualification as a Royal Artillery Surveyor, 1st Class, would come in handy, a Counter-battery Unit, having done much counter-battery work with the Americans at Anzio, or a Field Regiment. Will probably get a posting to the Army Pay Corps, or something equally unsuitable.

August 3

Today鈥檚 Part 1 Orders include 鈥淐adet Bate, Defence Medal, Africa Star and Italy Star鈥�.
Buy the ribbons and get them sewn on 鈥� how very pretty.

August 7

Last session on the Miniature Range 鈥� one of the more enjoyable parts of the Course 鈥� a bit like playing toy soldiers on a big scale. The Range is a big, contoured, brown hessian sheet, with miniature buildings, roads, rivers and trees on it. Directing 鈥淔ire鈥� on it is done by calling out the calculated map reference of the target. A Jawan (Indian soldier) then runs along under the miniature landscape, and sends up a puff of smoke from a smoke pot, at the map reference 鈥� hopefully, near the designated target.

August 14

Before a Medical Board at the Hospital. At long last, they put me back up to Grade A 1, free of malaria, though permanently unfit to be a blood donor.

August 15

Out on the Range at 0730 hours. Fire 2 rounds of Troop Fire, then get a Stop Order. Major Dunlop drives up, tells us that the Japanese have surrendered, and orders us to pack up. Back to Barracks, feeling totally deflated. After all the training as to the best way to kill the only enemy left, the Japanese, a tame concession of the match is really not cricket.

August 24

End of Gunnery Training, and the start of a month of Small Arms 鈥� pistol, rifle, Bren, Sten, grenades and anti-tank weapons.

September 22

Pay Officer gives me my old, tatty Army Book 64, stamped DISCHARGED 鈥� farewell, Gunner Bate, after 3 years and 244 days. Commissioning party at the Mess. Slap-up dinner, speeches, drink the time away till midnight, then sew our pips on.

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