大象传媒

Corporal Hyde鈥檚 job was to get us organized. To accomplish this he used to stand on a fire hydrant hose-box on the drill square.

鈥淎ll the A鈥檚,鈥� roared Corporal Hyde, glaring down at us as we formed ourselves up.

鈥淎ll the B鈥檚鈥� - mouth agape as usual.

鈥淭he B鈥檚鈥� shuffled into position.

鈥淎ll the C鈥檚!鈥�

鈥淎ll the鈥� ..............the mouth remained open but nothing further was uttered. Suddenly it became obvious that Corporal Hyde had forgotten his alphabet!

鈥淧鈥檚 Corporal!鈥� prompted a wag.

鈥淎ll the P鈥檚鈥�, came the order. We duly obeyed. And so it went on.

It doesn鈥檛 take much imagination to visualise the chaos which ensued at the pay-table. Poor Corporal Hyde got 鈥渟tick鈥� from the Warrant Officer in charge of the pay parade.

On another occasion we suffered more than we deserved. There was a sick-parade to receive our 鈥渏abs鈥�.

We were like human pin-cushions with 鈥渏abs! There was tetanus, typhoid, para-typhoid, yellow fever, plague and smallpox vaccination.

Another commandeered hotel had been converted into a 鈥淪ick-Quarters鈥�. We were formed up into single file outside the front door, then passed through the foyer, and out via a back door. As we passed through the foyer we encountered an orderly on each side - each armed with a syringe - (generally, it seemed to me, a very blunt syringe). There being six jabs in all, this, of course, meant that we had to file round again and repeat the excise twice more.

In his wisdom Corporal Hyde - instead of separating the front of the line from the rear - had managed to get us into a continuous circle.

This jabbing business seemed to be going on all the morning - until somebody asked how many jabs each was supposed to receive, and it transpired that we were on our fifth time round.

The exercise came to an abrupt halt.

At length a doctor appeared, gave an order, and we were marched at the double to the parade ground, where a P.T. Sergeant exercised us until - one by one - we dropped.

I remember being carried back to my billet alternately sweating and shivering, covered in great-coats and blankets, where I eventually passed out.

I woke - I thought - at nine o鈥檆lock next morning. I tried to get up, concerned that I was to be late on parade with the inevitable disciplinary consequences.

I need not have worried, however. It turned out to be the third morning. I had been 鈥渙ut鈥� for two days!

It was Corporal Hyde who found himself on 鈥渏ankers鈥�! For his ineptitude he was 鈥渃onfined to barracks鈥� that night. He determined to make us pay for his discomfiture. That evening he positioned himself at the hotel entrance of our hotel to catch as many as possible returning late from the town.

We, however, were well organised. We were met down the street by our designated look-out for the evening. He directed us to an open back window which he had arranged for our 鈥渆mergency entrance鈥�. It so happened that it was into Corporal Hyde鈥檚 room. After a fruitless ambush he returned to his room to find his bed covered in muddy boot-marks from the stream of curfew-breakers who were, by that time, safely tucked up in their own beds

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