´óÏó´«Ã½

Sketch 2 — Make Do and Mend

Cast; Mother,(Althea), Sheila, Mrs B, (Gladys)

Mother is busy sewing on a hand sewing machine. Enter Mrs B.)

Mrs B Hello Althea, you look very busy.

Mother Yes, I am trying to make this dress big enough to fit our Sheila to wear at a dance in the village hall tonight.

Mrs B That looks rather good, very pretty anyway.

Mother Well….I don’t really know whether our Sheila will approve, it has had to have a couple of insertions in the bodice, she has sprouted quite a bust you know, (showing the dress) and also a band in the skirt to lengthen it and the only material I could find to match was our Jenny’s old petticoat.

Mrs B Sheila should be very grateful, after all, we all have to ‘Make do and Mend’ these days, She is lucky not to have to wear her school clothes, many children have only one set to wear, with all this clothes rationing. I really need a new winter coat, Peter says that he will try and get hold of an Army blanket for me….perhaps you could make it up into a coat?

Mother Hmmm….. we will have to wait and see about that when the occasion arises. Would you like a cup of coffee?

Mrs B Coffee! I certainly would, it is ages since I had any coffee. How did you manage to get some?

Mother Well, try this and see what you think….

Mrs B Ugh! (coughing and spitting) Coffee, you don’t call this coffee, it tastes more like poison to me.

Mother It is the new wartime arsatz coffee, not made from coffee beans of course……

Mrs B I should think not, it tastes as if it was swept up in a farmyard!

Mother I have an idea that it is made out of acorns…..

Mrs B Acorns! Why even the squirrels wouldn’t eat this!

(Sheila enters)

Sheila Mum, have you finished my dress yet?

Mother Nearly done, I wont be a minute (continues sewing)

(Sheila walks around the room, sees a pie on the hob and pokes it)

Sheila Is this pie for supper? What is it?

Mother Meat and potato pie of course

Sheila You mean Hoo Ra pie

Mother Yes, if that is what you like to call it.

Mrs B ‘Hoo Ra Pie’, whatever is that? I haven’t heard of that before.

Sheila Well, it is like this, there is such a scarcity of meat in it, every time you are lucky to find a piece, you shout ‘Hoo Ra’. Anyway, Mum, don’t bother to save me any.

Mother Good, there will be more for us. Her you are (giving Sheila her dress) you can put it on now.

(They both help Sheila to put on the dress, she preens and twirls around)

Sheila What does it look like?

Mother It will pass muster in a crowded room

Mrs B You will be the belle of the ball!!

Sheila Not me, I still haven’t got any stockings to wear, I wish I could find an American soldier to get my some nylons, Betty has some and they are absolutely fabulous! Now I shall have to make do with painted legs, at least it is the real stuff, not cold tea! Does it look OK, have I got the back seam straight? It is very difficult to do oneself (Twisting and turning around).

Mrs B Come here, let me finish it for you, here, give me that eyebrow pencil, there, that will do, quite as good as nylons. At least they wont ladder if you fall over.

Sheila Fall over, not me. I have got my feet planted firmly on the ground.

Mrs B Wee accidents do happen you know, Did you hear about my niece Joan?

Sheila No. What happened to her?

Mrs B Well, she has just started work, travels to Borrowash and back by train every day. One night, because it was so dark, and with everywhere blacked out, she couldn’t see where they were. As the train slowed down, a little old workman who usually got off the train at the same station as Joan, opened the door. Thinking that they had arrived, she quickly stepped out, only to find that they hadn’t arrived at the station. She fell flat on her face, made an awful mess of her knees, they were all grazed and bleeding, but it wasn’t her knees she was bothered about, no, it was her new pair of chiffon lisle stockings which she was so upset about, completely ruined they were. Her precious clothing coupons wasted!

Sheial Poor girl, but that cannot happen to me tonight. Right, will I do?

Mother Yes…. And don’t forget, back tonight before midnight or you will be in dire trouble.

Sheila Oh Mum, how could I help it if we got lost last time! Betty’s boyfriend said he knew a quicker way home but when we got to some crossroads there were five different roads to take, how could we help getting the wrong one? After all, there are no signposts to show us the way…. taken down to confuse the enemy if ever they invade us. As far as I can see, the only people they confuse are we British who seem to be forever getting hopelessly lost!

Mother You’ll not have that excuse tonight, surely even you can’t get lost between here and the village hall! Off you go and enjoy yourself……Don’t forget your gas mask. And remember, we will be waiting up for you!

Sheila Oops, nearly forgot, (grabbing her gas mask). Bye for now, see you later.

Mrs B. Right, Althea, you can sit back now and relax for a few minutes while I tell you a funny story. You know that I went to stay with my sister Dorothy last week?

Mother is that the elder one who lives in Oakbrook?

Mrs B Yes, that’s the one.

Mother Well, carry on, I am listening.

Mrs B One night, Wednesday I think it was, the air raid siren went as usual, we heard the enemy planes throbbing overhead so all the family rushed downstairs, clutching their gasmasks, and sat crowded under the stairs. After a while there was a swooshing noise, followed by whistles blowing and then there was the most horrible smell imaginable. We all put on our gasmasks and sat huddled there for ages and ages, not able to talk, except for blowing raspberries of course, at last we could stand it no longer and eventually took them off.

Mother And was it really a gas bomb?

Mrs B No, it wasn’t! You’ll never guess in a month of Sundays. It was a bomb all right, and there was certainly some gas, but of a very different kind. It had scored a direct hit on the local sewerage works! Phew ………What a smell! I’ll never forget it.

Mother That reminds me, talking of bombs, yesterday I had a letter from my sister who lives in Crewe. She says that last Sunday morning they were all out in their gardens watching a plane doing aerobatics over the house.

Mrs B You would think the RAF would have something better to do than play around acting the fool up there.

Mother That is what they all thought. But they soon found out different. Suddenly the plane shot off and dropped two bombs directly on Rolls Royce. To use my sister’s words, ‘it was a bloody Jerry’!

Mrs B Gosh, what an experience. You never know what will happen next! (Looking at the clock) Is that the time? Goodness I had better get home or we shall have Sheila back before I’ve gone. Goodnight, see you tomorrow.

***

© Copyright of content contributed to this Archive rests with the author. Find out how you can use this.